The She-Wolf’s Mate (Book 2 She-Wolf Series)
Chapter 19

Ivar

I watched as my little mate sat, laughed and chatted with her people. There was a lightness about her while she mingled that I hadn’t seen in the time her and I had spent together.

The men pulled several large picnic tables out of a shed in the back while the women prepared food for everyone at the house, including the security outside. Sam insisted we all gather together to eat and relax after the harrowing day before. She moved amongst the small crowd carefully. The guests eyes brightened as she gave each one her full attention.

This was the first glimpse I had of her as more than just an alpha and my mate. She was with her family, blood and chosen. I could tell it brought her peace. I felt guilty at the thought that this was what I was asking her to give up to take the throne.

I hated it.

“Hey, mom!” Luke called, and Sam turned.

“Yeah, kid?” she responded, smiling fondly at him.

“Did Pops and Gran tell you Aunt Kate is flying in?” The pup asked.

“That’s… great.” I could see that she was forcing a smile now as she glanced anxiously in my direction. “When does she get here?”

“Tomorrow,” Debra, Sam’s mom, answered brightly.

I moved to my mate’s side.

“Everything okay, little wolf?” I asked her.

“Umm, yeah,” she said, hesitantly, and I raised an eyebrow. “I tell my sister everything. She doesn’t get the whole ‘fated mates’ thing, so she kind of just thinks you’re a jackass.” She held up a hand before I could argue. “To be fair she’s human, and werewolf life in general confuses her. On top of that… well… she’s a little much.”

Elias snorted from the end of the table.

“What she means is, Sammy is the easy-going one of the two,” he chuckled.

“Kate is great!” Sam quickly argued. “She’s just opinionated.”

“And a little full of herself,” Luke piped up. “Super fun to be around though. Total life of the party.”

Sam sighed. “She’s one of the most loving people I know. I think she just has a hard time showing it. You’ll like her once you get to know her.”

“She hates you, though,” Luke added without prompting.

“Luke!” Sam chastised. “Not helping.”

I chuckled at the exchange. Luke stood to escape his mother’s glare, grumbling under his breath. He smirked and winked at me when she looked away.

I smiled internally at the young man. He played the jokester-kid at times, but I knew there was more to him beyond what he presented to the world. Someday, if not already, he would be a force to be reckoned with. Probably one of the greatest leaders of his time, much like his mother.

And I’m asking her to leave him, I thought.

It was an easier request when I turned a blind eye to her life here. If I was selfish and focused only on what was best for me and my role as king, it made perfect sense that she should drop everything to be my queen. The issue ran deeper than that though.

I looked up as Beta Stevens approached, holding out a beer.

“Here,” he said, simply.

“Thanks,” I responded, opening it as he sat beside me.

Both of us sat silently sipping and looking out over the group before he spoke up.

“I never got a chance to thank you for saving her.”

“She’s my mate,” I said. “I would go to the ends of the earth for her.”

“Her too,” he agreed. “But I was talking about Cass.”

My mind drifted back to a lone wolf, terrified and running from home, years before in Alaska.

“It was what needed to be done,” I said with a shrug.

“If you hadn’t helped her I might have never met her,” he said, his tone stone cold.

“Some would say it was fate,” I told him drily.

“You don’t think we have a say in our own destiny?” He asked.

“I’m not sure what I believe anymore,” I murmured.

“You know,” he started, thoughtfully. “In the beginning I thought I loved Cass because I had to. That if we weren’t controlled by fate’s spell or curse or whatever that I wouldn’t feel what I do for her.”

He stared at his mate as she animatedly spoke with Serena and Debra across the yard.

“I think it’s more than that, though,” he continued. “Every day I spend with her at my side proves to me further that I would do whatever it takes to make her happy. She makes me a better person, and I can only hope to be worthy of the love she gives me in return. Fate just gave us a nudge when we otherwise might not have given our relationship a chance.”

“Hmm,” I grunted. “You didn’t ask her to leave everything she loved.”

“No,” he agreed. “But she did irrevocably bind herself to the pack’s most prolific serial killer.”

I stared at him for a moment.

“She needed a protector,” I told him.

“Maybe,” he murmured. “Doesn’t change the fact that she deserved an honorable man, and she's stuck with me. I’m thankful for it - for her - every day of my life.”

He paused, taking a swig out of his bottle.

“Sam doesn’t need saving, King. I have no doubt if she didn’t want you here, she would have sent you packing,” he reasoned.

“That’s probably true,” I told him, honestly. “If I could stay, I would.”

He nodded. “I figured. The mate bond is powerful.” He paused. “If you thought for the last year that she would be the one to cave, I hope you’ve realized that it was wishful thinking. She’s the most strong-willed wolf I’ve ever met.”

“I have.”

“Then what are you going to do?” he asked bluntly. “My pack is in danger as long as our alpha is this exposed. Rumors are going to spread about what happened in Moon Valley territory. She needs you. You need to fix this.”

I sighed and I watched as the beautiful alpha tilted her head back and laughed at something Micah had said. She caught me staring out of the corner of her eye and smiled brightly at me, beckoning me over.

“Easier said than done, Beta,” I told him as I stood. “Thanks for the beer.”

He tilted his bottle at me and gave a nod.

I found it hard to focus on the gathering after my talk with Michael. He was right. If she was affected in the same way I was by the mating bond, she was also losing strength and would continue to be unable to heal like a werewolf should. The next time a wolf or any other creature decided to attack her, I may not make it in time to save her - if I even had the strength myself.

On the other hand, it was unfair of me to assume my responsibilities were greater than hers. Thinking that she would come crawling to me after I left her had been a conceited and selfish thought. To think I was somehow stronger than the female alpha now seemed laughable. I had been so blind.

Eventually, Sam slowly kicked out her guests one by one. After a brief argument, she finally got Beta Stevens to agree to reduce the security around the house. Trinity helped things along by pointing out she could teleport Sam to safety after a mere phone call should anything happen.

The Beta seemed suspicious but eventually gave in. Trinity didn’t offer and no asked about her powers as a witch. There was a lot of mystery for most werewolves surrounding magic. Everyone probably assumed she was just an exceptionally powerful “normal” witch. Dark witches had been eradicated centuries ago, so there was no reason anyone should question her.

Only a light witch might have had an inkling that something was amiss, but there were none present. Even if there were, our treaty prevented them from exposing her.

Luke decided to spend the evening with his grandparents, and I assumed it was to give Sam and I some alone time. Trinity also left to spend the night with Aidan who was handling the situation at the Moon Valley Pack.

As Sam and I cleaned up the last bit left over from the gathering, she turned to me.

“Wanna go for a walk?” she asked.

“Are you feeling up to it?” I felt my brow furrow.

“Yes.” She rolled her eyes. “I feel fine and I’m tired of being cooped up.”

“I was just making sure,” I said, gently wrapping her in my arms.

I felt her sink into me with a sigh. I ran my hands down her back, a sense of longing pulling at me. I let go of her and turned away, catching her look of confusion from the corner of my eye.

“I’m going to go grab my shoes,” I muttered.

“Okay,” she answered, quietly.

I took a deep breath as I left the room. It was becoming clearer what I needed to do. Every moment I spent close to her, the more I felt the need to protect her above all else. Even above having a relationship with her.

She would hate me, of course. Hell, I hated myself for the thought. Rankor growled in my mind, but I held him back.

When I met her at the door, she looked up at me, searching my face. I imagined she sensed something was wrong, but she didn’t ask. Instead, we walked side by side down the trail on her property.

After a few moments of silence, Sam finally spoke up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“About what?” I muttered.

“Whatever is suddenly bothering you, Ivar.”

The truth was, I didn’t, but I knew I needed to. I stopped in a clearing, and gazed out over the valley in the distance. It was the same one that Sam’s bedroom overlooked with the mountains just beyond.

“Why are you suddenly pulling away?” She asked.

“I can’t keep doing this,” I told her.

Pain burned through my chest at my own words, but I fought to keep my composure. Sam on the other hand whipped her head to meet my gaze. Pain, anger, and sadness painted her features as she stared up at me.

“What are you talking about?” she demanded.

I shook my head. “We are both too exposed with the bond incomplete as it is. I can't fulfill my duty as King, and you’re vulnerable while we remain unable to heal.”

“Is this because I said I love you?” She asked.

“What?”

“When I left the voicemail on Aidan’s phone, I told you I loved you,” she clarified. “You haven’t said it back - which is fine - but now you’re saying you’re done?”

I did love her and it broke my heart further that I hadn’t told her.

“No, this has nothing to do with that, Sam,” I said, firmly. “Our roles among the werewolves are just too important. Your pack and your family need you. I see now that it was wrong of me to ask you to leave.”

“Fuck you,” she snapped.

“Sam...” I pleaded.

“No,” she said, firmly. “I’m not going to do it. You would need me to reject you also, and I won’t. So fuck you.”

“So you’re going to leave your pack?” I demanded. “Leave Luke?”

She looked away and tears welled in her eyes.

“I didn’t think so.”

“You’re being a coward,” she accused, raising her voice.

“I’m trying to do the right thing!” I shouted. I stepped towards her and lowered my voice, “Please Sam. Just tell me what I’m supposed to do.”

I reached for her and she pushed me away. She slapped at my hands again when I tried to grab her.

“Get away from me!” she yelled, tears coating her words. “Don’t touch me!”

Despite her protests, I pulled her into a firm hug. She fought for a moment more before finally giving in to my embrace and sobbing.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked against my chest.

I closed my eyes, reliving the memory of my mate bound and barely conscious on the cement floor of a dirty warehouse. Blood dripped to the floor from her split lip. One of her eyes was all but swollen shut. Another man attempted to force her into a bond she didn’t want. The thought had Rankor growling in my mind.

“I can’t see you hurt again, little wolf,” I said, quietly.

“Then stop hurting me,” she whispered.

I shook my head, not able to explain further. She was right, though.

From the moment I met her, all I had done was cause her pain. I walked away. I never attempted to contact her, despite having Trinity teleport me so that I could gather information about her and check in from afar. I wasn’t there when she needed me. And now I was once again the one trying to leave, albeit for a more noble reason.

“Sam, I need you to tell me what I’m supposed to do here,” I told her. “I have lived my whole life giving orders and having them obeyed. No one has ever defied me. I don’t know what to do in this situation, but I need you to be safe. Right now neither of us can heal, and I can’t protect you. So, please, tell me.”

She pulled away slightly to look up at me. Tears stained her cheeks and pooled in her deep, green eyes.

I held my breath as she stared, no doubt contemplating her answer. After a moment, she started to shake her head.

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