The Many Faces of Tully
Shame

“NO!” I scream. I start to explode but I stop it and force it back. I can’t cause any more damage to him. I run forward and fall to my knees next to his limp body. I lift his head up and put it on my lap.

“Jace!” I stroke his face. He doesn’t move. “Jace!” I scream again. I don’t want to look but I have to. I see the blood oozing out of the hole he just made in his coat. I unzip it so I can see his wound better.

Its glowing green but I still see the red of his blood coming out of his chest. I put my hand over it, to put pressure on it. That’s what you need to do, right? My hand gets covered with his blood quickly. Why did he do this? I hate the color red. I love the color green. Green means life. Green means health. He has to heal from this, but he has never done it before. Can he heal from this?

I use my power to pull the bullet out of him. You need to take the bullet out for it to heal properly. He needs to heal. I realize I’m sobbing and I see quite a few of my tears have fallen onto his face. I use my non-bloody hand to wipe them away. I brush his hair off of his forehead and I notice my hand his trembling. Also my shoulder burns when I move my arm.

Then I remember I was shot too. I look at my torso and it’s soaked with blood. Oh God, this isn’t good. I’m dizzy. Why did Jace do this? I look back at him and his face is contorted with pain. He groans. He’s still healing but he’s awake now.

“Ouch. That was a stupid idea.” He moans quietly and looks up at me. “It worked though.” He smiles smugly. My vision is starting to blacken. I’ve lost way too much blood and my wounds are throbbing in sync with my heart. I keel over backwards.

“Tully!” Jace shouts. He sits up quickly and hovers over me. “That was the most idiotic plan I’ve ever had. I didn’t even think about your wounds!” The buttons on my coat pop off as he rips it open. “Shit. How are you still conscious?” he asks me looking at my bullet holes.

“The same way you are still alive. Strong will. Let me help you out with this.” I use my powers to pull out the bullets. “Now if you wouldn’t mind.” I look at him expectantly.

“You never cease to amaze me, do you?” he looks at me in disbelief. He sticks his hands under my shirt and lays one hand across my side touching both the holes in my hip and on my ribs. He places his other hand on my left shoulder. I gasp. “Sorry,” he says.

I notice the man is gone now. He probably ran as soon as my powers let him loose. He is probably terrified of me. He should be. I completely lost it and I was going to kill him. He almost died tonight. Thank God for Jace.

It takes a little time for Jace to heal both of us. His chest isn’t glowing as brightly green now as he uses his powers to heal me too. He tells me it won’t take too long because I pulled the bullets out of the both of us. It still seems to take forever as the pain slowly starts to fade and we both slowly stop bleeding. I watch his wound more than I pay attention to my own. He shot himself in the heart. For me. Guilt is stronger than the pain right now, but his healing powers can’t do anything about that.

As soon as all of our wounds are healed up, he helps me up and we hurry to my car. The full force about what just happened is about to crash down on me. I want to get to my room before that happens. Tonight isn’t over yet.

We go into the side door of the restaurant and it leads straight to the elevator. I open the doors before we get there and as soon as Jace is inside it I drop us down quickly. He doesn’t say anything to me. He probably knows what’s going through my head. He knows everything.

The door opens for us before we get there. I do like my powers sometimes. When I have control over them that is. Half the guys are in the living room watching their doctor show again. Every week they are sitting there watching it.

Nash looks over at us and smiles. “Hey guys. How was your… Holy shit! What the hell happened to you two?” He’s staring at both of our blood soaked shirts.

“Robber. Got shot.” I shrug and keep walking. I’m trying my hardest not to sprint to my room.

“No shit?” Nash says. Everyone is looking at us now with wide eyes. They’re staring at me in particular because my entire shirt is completely soaked with blood and they can see the four holes in it. I’m glad none of them can read my mind.

Jace stopped to talk to them for a second, but then he notices I’m not stopping. He excuses himself and tries to catch up with me. I start to walk faster. I just need to make it to my room, and then I can lock him out.

“Tully, wait up.” He starts to jog behind me. I turn around and face him. He stops in his tracks. I wonder what I look like right now. I must look horrible because he’s staring at me cautiously and sadly.

“Please leave me be for a while, Jace.” I hold my hands up defensively and take a step backwards.

“I don’t think you should be alone right now Tully. And quite frankly I don’t want to be alone either.” He takes a step towards me hesitantly.

He’s probably right. Tonight wasn’t easy for him either. He was reminded too much about the last time this happened. Two people died last time this happened to him. We are quite the pair tonight. I can’t be near him though, not tonight. Not after what I almost just did.

I turn and sprint. I wave my hand behind be towards the floor and I hear his shoes squeak as he trips. The thud of his body sounds painful to me, but I needed a head start. I make it to my room and lock the door. I hear him slamming his hand on it in seconds. He shakes the door knob and then starts talking.

“Tully, let me in,” he demands. I hate the anger in his voice. I hate that I’m the cause of it. I hate that I can’t control my powers.

“Damn kid. What happened to you?” I hear Zazu’s deep voice from outside my door.

“Shot myself,” Jace says to him.

“Why did you do that?” Zazu sounds somewhat amused. I stare at my door and imagine what they look like. I’m just standing in the middle of my room, unable to move. I don’t know what to do.

“Long story. Can you do me a favor?” Jace sounds a little breathless.

“Sure kid. What do you need?” Zazu replies.

“Can you unlock this door, or open it, or blow it off its hinges or something?” He breathes angrily.

“Girlfriend problems?” I can hear the smile on Zazu’s face. Then my door unlocks. I quickly lock it again. “She’s stubborn.” Zazu is laughing.

I hear the hinges groan then and all of a sudden my door is gone. Jace is standing there with Zazu right next to him staring at me. He looks at my bloodstained shirt and then at Jace.

“Did you shoot her too? Is that why she’s mad at you?” he questions him.

“No. Thank you. Good bye,” Jace says to him distractedly. He walks in to my room with a determined look on his face. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to be near him. He just makes me feel worse about myself right now. He had to shoot himself to make me stop.

“Tully,” he warns. “Don’t do this.” He raises his hands up defensively this time.

I shake my head and make an invisible wall come up between us. His hands touch it before he can run into it. It feels like his hands are on my ribs.

“Stop shielding me Tully,” he says angrily.

“No.” I mouth the word. I don’t trust my voice.

“Damn it Tully!” He slams the side of his fist into my shield.

I expect it to feel like a soft caress, like every other time someone has touched my shield but I was wrong. It felt as if he slammed his fist into my sternum and not my shield. I gasp in pain and put my hand over my chest. I can’t use my powers against him. I have a soft spot for him.

“You need to stop shutting me out Tully,” he shouts at me. “You know you don’t always have to go at things alone. I know you’re strong but don’t push it to the point of idiocy. You don’t have to prove anything to me.” His tone is getting softer now.

“I’ve always done thing’s alone Jace,” I whisper.

“I know that. I’m trying to tell you that you don’t have to anymore. I’m right here but you won’t let me help you. Sometimes I feel like you’re trying to push me away Tully. I feel like you’re trying to protect me, but you don’t have to do that. I’m not weak you know. Just let me in Tully,” he begs, laying his hand softly against my shield, against my shoulder.

I walk forward and place my hand against my shield, right where his hand is. “I can’t Jace. I just can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t let you do this. I need to be alone. I can’t be with you anymore.” I start pushing my shield forward, forcing Jace to walk backwards.

“Tully, don’t do this,” he says, pushing on my shield, pushing against me. I force myself and my shield forward until his feet are outside my door. “Tully,” he says again. I walk backwards away from him. “Stop shielding me!” he yells. I sit in the middle of my floor and curl up into my comfort position. I put my head in between my knees and squeeze them to try and block him out. I wrap my arms around the back of my head too, using my elbows to help my knees squeeze my head.

He’s pounding his fists against my shield and I feel every blow. On my shoulder, on my ribs, my hip, my thigh, everywhere. He gives up after a while and just sinks to the floor with his back pressed up against my shield. I can feel him leaning against my side, like a constant pressure telling me what a horrible person I am.

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