The Many Faces of Tully
Lost All Control

It’s been two weeks since Jace’s birthday and we are walking back to my car. I wish we didn’t have to park so far away. I’ve never been fond of darkness and there is no moon tonight and it’s cloudy. It reminds me too much of myself. Bad things happen in the dark, like bad things happen when you are near me.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Jace asks me. He’s holding my hand inside of his pocket since it was so cold out. I can’t wait to get to my car.

“Yeah. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a movie. You tend to not go out very much when you can be a public threat.” I smile. It’s true though. I didn’t like being near people because I could hurt them in an instant without meaning too.

“I won’t let you hurt anyone.” He looks down at me seriously.

All of a sudden Jace is pulling me into a random ally way. He presses my back against the wall and then puts his hands on either side of my head. He’s smiling. He’s always spontaneous like this. I swear he is the dream guy every girl wants.

“You know that I find you drop dead gorgeous right?” he asks me. He leans in and kisses me. “And I think you are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.” He kisses my nose. “I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much in my life since I’ve been with you.” He kisses my forehead. “And I didn’t think I could ever be this happy.” He kisses my lips again.

“Awe. Isn’t that sweet?” I hear a cold voice say. “I think you chose the wrong alley to do that in.”

I watch as Jace’s face turns hard and cold. His jaw is clenched so tightly that it looks like it hurts. He removes his hands from the wall and turns slowly to face the man. I can see how tense Jace is and I know why. This is familiar to him. This happened to him not too many years ago. He is reliving his nightmare. I reach forward and touch his back, to let him know that I’m here for him. Even his back muscles are all tensed up.

The man is leaning casually against the wall. He has short brown hair and his hazel eyes glint maliciously. He has tattoos covering his neck and he’s scratching his temple with the barrel of a gun.

“I seen you getting out of that nice car of yours and I’ve been waiting for you to come back. Go see a movie did you?” He smiles and it makes my stomach feel like it’s filled with ice. “I thought I was going to have to fight you in here, but you came in all by yourself.” He chuckles.

Neither Jace nor I say anything. I know what’s going through his head. He wants to get me out of here. I’m not safe here, for multiple reasons. One, I might get shot just like Veronica and he would definitely be living his nightmare again. And two, I might explode out of fear, and my heart rate is already up so that seems more likely at the moment.

“One could only assume,” the man continues, “if you were driving that around, then you must have some serious cash. Well guess what kids. I love serious cash and I would do just about anything to get some.” He pushes his shoulder off the wall and takes a few steps towards us. “Does that give you two any ideas?”

Jace’s hands are hovering at his sides and I can see that they are shaking. I don’t like seeing him shake. I try to step in front of him, so I can protect him but he shoves his arm in front of me and forces me behind him. He holds on to my coat so I can’t move.

“Not going to let your girlfriend give me what I want?” The man raises his eyebrow at him, assuming the wrong thing. I don’t plan on giving him anything. Jace shakes his head. I wish I could see his face right now, but at the same time I don’t. I don’t want to see the fear in his eyes, or the determination to protect me.

My chest squeezes painfully and I realize how fast my heart is beating. It’s beating too fast, and I’m already gasping for air. My ears are starting to ring.

“Don’t you see how scared she is? Just give me what I want and then you can comfort her. Put her out of her misery.” He tries to persuade Jace.

“I suggest you get out of here. This isn’t going to end well for any of us,” Jace tells him seriously. He’s right. I drop to my knees and hug my chest. I hate this man but I don’t want him dead. I don’t want to be a murderer.

“Jace,” I groan. He has to stop me from exploding. He has to heal me. I don’t want to break Jace again. I don’t want him to be unconscious for two days again. I can’t do this.

Jace crouches at my side. “I’m right here. You’re okay Tully. I won’t let you do anything you don’t want to.” He knows me so well.

All of a sudden Jace disappears from my side and I look up. The man has Jace’s arms trapped behind him and the gun pointing at his head. Jace tries to break away but the man has too good of a grip on him. I panic.

The world goes silent and my heart stops beating. I don’t breath and I suddenly see the situation differently. I don’t know these people. All I see is an angel being held by a demon with a gun. The demon wants to kill the angel. I won’t let him.

I stand up slowly and the demon backs away a few steps, towing the angel with him. He’s shouting something at me, but I can’t hear him. He’s waving the gun between the angel and me. The angel is trying to talk too. I take a step forward to go help the angel.

I see a flash and my left shoulder is thrown backwards slightly. I look at my shoulder and there is blood oozing out of a bullet hole. I look back at the demon and I see the angel screaming. How dare the demon cause the angel pain! I take another step forward and the demon looks scared. I see him pull the trigger three more times and I barely feel three more bullets enter my side, my right shoulder and my hip. I’m still not breathing but the lack of oxygen doesn’t deter me.

I can feel the blood spilling from my wounds but it doesn’t bother me. I just want the angel to stop screaming. The demon puts the gun to the angel’s temple now and I see his finger hover over the trigger. The demon looks terrified and he’s talking again. The angel is trying to talk too. The demon can’t shoot the angel. I won’t let him. So I swipe my hand through the air and my powers rip the gun from his hand.

His eyes widen even more but then he digs into his back pocket and pulls out a knife. He’s about to press it against the angel’s neck but I stop him. I force the knife backwards with my powers, and make it turn towards the demon. I make the knife move forward, towards the demon’s chest.

He looks frantic and finally let go of the angel. He uses his other hand and pushes against the knife. The force of his hands feels like a sigh against my powers. I smile and push the knife closer to his chest. I’m playing with him. I’m letting him fight for his life. It’s a fight he won’t win.

I want to see the knife enter his chest. I want to be the one stabbing him. I want to feel the sharp point of the knife puncture his skin and the razor edges open the wound wider as I shove the knife deeper into his chest.

I want to see his blood pouring from his chest. I want to see the blood spread across his shirt and drip onto the floor. Blood is such a beautiful color of red and he doesn’t deserve such beauty coursing through him. The color is delicious to me. I love the color red.

All of a sudden the angel is right in front of me. His mouth is moving and he’s staring at me frantically. Why is he frantic? I just saved his life. He keeps trying to talk to me but I still can’t hear him. He’s starting to annoy me and he is blocking my sight from the demon. I want to see the knife enter his body. I want to see him screaming in pain. I want to revel in the sight of his blood leaving his body.

I’m about to push the angel away but a small part of my brain, the part seeing reason, wants to know what he wants to say to me so badly. I reach up and touch my fingertips to his forehead.

Don’t let the power control you, Tully. Don’t let them make you do something you don’t want to. Take control! He’s shouting at me.

The small part of my brain recognizes him. The small part of my brain recognizes me. The small part of my brain is me. My powers have taken over completely. I can’t move myself, I can’t make myself stop. The only thing I can do is talk to Jace through thoughts.

I can’t. It’s too strong, I tell him. He disappears from my vision and I disappear from my brain. I just see the demon, trying to fight my power. I push the knife even closer. It looks like he is sobbing and his arms are shaking from trying to push the knife away from him.

I strain to hear now. I want to hear him screaming. I want to hear him beg for mercy that’s never going to come. I want to hear the last few beats of his pathetic evil heart. I want to hear Hell open up and drag his demonic soul into its’ fiery pits.

I want his death to overload my senses. I want to feel the knife cutting into his soft, yielding flesh. I want to see his blood spill from his body and stain the ground permanently red. I want to hear his screams tear from him involuntarily so loud that it vibrates me to my core. I want to taste his blood permeating the air around me. I want to smell death rolling off of him. I want his death to make my pulse jump in my veins. I want his body to be as cold as his heart. I want him dead.

My ears finally start working again and I smile viciously at the sound of his whimpers and groans. I lick my lips, and I can taste his fear in the air. I love it. It’s succulent and tangy. I can’t wait until his screams rip through the air, making me feel alive and powerful.

I’m just about to make him thrust the knife into his chest when I hear the click of a bullet sliding into place. I look for the attacker so I can stop him from shooting me. I don’t want to be distracted from killing this demon.

My eyes fall on the angel. He’s holding the gun and the sight makes me freeze. Something so good and pure should not be that close to something so destructive and evil, let alone hold it. He’s not pointing it at me though. He’s holding the barrel against his own chest, right over his heart.

The small part of me comes back again. Jace can always reach me when I’m this far gone. What is he doing though?

Jace? I ask him. I want to cock my head to the side but I still have no control of my body.

“Come back to me Tully,” he says, and he pulls the trigger.

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