The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)
Chapter Sixteen: Coming to Terms

Rage hummed just beneath the surface of my skin with every breath he took. Everything about him caused my body to tighten with raw aggression and I wasn’t sure I could hold it back for much longer. Yesterday it hadn’t truly sunk in that the man I was speaking to, was in fact the same man who tossed me into prison. The fact that I had also struck a deal that caused me to be stuck with him for as long as I reigned only fueled my anger. What the hell had I been thinking? Sure, he’d always be loyal to me but I didn’t want him this close for what was practically forever. The only way out now was to break the deal and I never broke a deal. Not ever. No matter the circumstances.

Footsteps crunched over the grass at a rapid pace as he jogged lightly to catch up with me. Rolling my shoulders, I forced the anger down and focused on anything other than him. I’d already fucked up and showed him just how much his presence was bothering me when I drilled those needles into his hand. Having him around me all the time was going to be a major test to my self control. And as much as I hated to admit it, Cillian wasn’t a stupid male. He’d notice if I wasn’t acting my usual self. He’d also insert himself further into my life than the role of a Commander was needed, in order to figure out what was wrong. And that was the last thing I wanted.

Smoke from the morning fire’s were barely starting to pollute the air as the camp came to life. Nodding to a few Banshees that passed, I continued on my way to where we met for the last mission. Soaking in the activity around me, I was glad to see that the Banshees and Fae were getting along surprisingly well. Dougal had mentioned that some of the Fae had been apprehensive to let the Banshees live here at first but after the Banshees went around calling me their god, the Fae got over it. After all, it would be kind of hard to stay weary of a group of people who called your Queen a God.

Rounding the last row of tents, I finally caught sight of the small group that was waiting for me. Like the last time Dougal, Dani, Erick and a few of my personal guards were clumped together in conversation. The blue ribbons they once wore had been replaced with the more obvious and uniform-y blue tunics. I sighed heavily at the sight and the now annoying tightening of my chest. I really needed to get over that and I needed to do it yesterday. What kind of Queen could I be if little things like this still caused me pain?

Oh, shit. The conversation I had with Lugh. I had completely forgotten about it, Cillian’s sudden appearance eclipsed everything much like his head did the sun.

As the painful words she had spoken begun to repeat themselves in my head, I stopped walking completely. ‘We understand’ ’Macha you are not Mab.’ ‘We forgive you.’ ‘Our beloved Queen’ My stomach bottomed out to my feet and my skin prickled as the words circled my mental walls like enemy troops. ’Macha O’Riordan. Former Queen of the Banished Kingdom. First born bastard of Mab. Your former subjects of the Banished Kingdom forgive you.’ My chest hollowed out and I closed my eyes to the sensation of weightlessness that came over me. They forgave me. My old subjects loved me. They still held hope for me. Trusted me again. Relief and gratefulness flooded my veins like injectable sugar but the comedown was almost instant.

“Is everything alright?”

Irritation burned away any positive feelings from before as I opened my eyes to meet silver ones, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? We can reschedule the meeting with Coaimhe.”

“Considering it wasn’t a scheduled meeting with her to begin with, we really can’t.” I replied dryly, eyes narrowing at the way he was squinting at me slightly.

He shifted in front of me before holding out my knife, handle first, for me to take, “Here. I think you misplaced this.”

Grabbing the handle, I grinned with pointed teeth on display, “I did. It was supposed to be buried in your thick neck.”

A grunt slipped past his lips as I jerked the knife back and accidentally on purpose slit open his palm. His sharp features tightened in annoyance while he squeezed his hand to stop the blood flow, “I can only take so much before I strike back, Cell Bait. I told you, submission isn’t my thing.”

“Did you not submit to me when you took the Oath?”

“That was an act from a Commander to his Queen. What you’re doing now is personal and I won’t put up with it for very long.”

Taking in his rigid stance and hard eyes, I purred, “That’s what I’m counting on.”

Making sure to slam my shoulder against his, I strolled over to where the group was waiting and watching. Dani’s pink eyes narrowed in on Cillian over my shoulder while everyone else pretended not to notice our exchange. The moment they stepped aside to allow me a spot in their little huddle, Dani scratched at her shoulder with three fingers. An old code system we came up with, ‘Are we killing him?’ Holding back a laugh, I gave the side of my thigh a double tap in answer. ‘When the time’s right.’

Lifting my gaze from hers, I glanced around the small group of head bowing soldiers. When it registered that Erick was wearing a blue tunic as well, I gave him a smug smile, “Looks like you finally joined the dark side, General.”

Brown eyes stared at me unamused, “Begrudgingly, My Queen.”

Chuckling, I turned to Dougal, “Everyone ready and know where we’re headed?”

“That would be a question for my son, My Queen.” He replied, pointing at the blue S.C stitched into his black tunic.

A fresh wave of anger rolled through my body at the thought of me having to work with Cillian sooner rather than later. Keeping my muscles relaxed and my face still cheery was possibly the third hardest thing I’d ever done. Unclenching my teeth, I forced out, “Since when?”

His short dreads swayed slightly as he replied, “We made the switch last night.”

“I see.” Turning to my left, I cut my eyes up to look at him.

The silver stubble on his high cheeks shifted as his lips twitched, “My Queen?”

Fighting against the strong urge to slit his throat, I asked, “Are we ready to head out, Commander?”

“Everyone’s ready to depart and aware that we’re heading to the Bas do gach fae Clan. To collect on a deal you made with a female Troll but we still don’t know what you’re going to ask of her.” His expression was as blank as ever but the gleam in his eye told me he was finding this amusing.

Deciding to be professional, I ignored it and turned to speak with the others, “The favor I will be asking of her is a meeting with the Clan King. Since she’s the daughter of a nobleman or something as equally as high ranking, it should be easy. Even if it isn’t, she’ll still deliver on it.” Checking to make sure their weapons were strapped to their bodies, I continued, “Where we’re headed will be hostile and they will look for any excuse to kill us. It’s important that you don’t give them one. Whatever happens at the Clan today, let me do the talking. Do not interfere under any circumstances. There’s also the possibility of running into Mab’s soldiers, so be ready to fight or travel out when I tell you to. Understand?”

A round of ’yes, My Queen’s filled the air for a few moments before the soldiers began to double check that their weapons were secured against their bodies.

Watching them gave me the urge to do the same but I never needed to double check my weapons. The only time my metal wouldn’t be on me was if I was dead. Actually….not even then. Considering that I now had a piece of metal underneath my skin, I’d always have some on me. And the thought was more than a little comforting.

“Does everyone know how to get to our destination?”

The sound of Cillian’s voice grated against my already taunt nerves but I shoved it aside. Professional Macha. You can be professional. As soon as they confirmed that they knew how to get there and that they needed to establish a fake travel trail, they began disappearing in pairs. When the last pair traveled out, I looked over at Dougal and waited for him to follow the rest.

Catching my expectant gaze, he gave me a slightly guilty smile, “I won’t be joining you on this one, Fabht Siúcra. I need to stay and watch over the camp while your gone.”

As much as I wanted to argue, I couldn’t. Last time we took the risk of leaving the camp without a Queen, Commander or General to take charge. This time it wouldn’t make sense since we now had two Commanders and it would be irresponsible of me to do so.

“Let me guess, Cillian can’t stay here while you come with me?”

“Like I said the other night, you two need to learn how to work together.”

Rolling my eyes, I went to reply but was robbed of the chance. A rough hand latched onto my right bicep seconds before the world gave out beneath my feet. The transition was so sudden and unexpected that I struggled against the grip. Darkness swallowed me completely as the panic started to dig itself into my chest. The ground solidified underneath me once more before it bottomed out again causing my heart to shoot into my throat.

Eyes darting around, I tried to uselessly search out anything in the inky abyss. With my free arm, I turned slightly and blindly swung on the Fae who took me without permission. An annoyed grunt sounded out as my fist connected with something hard and then I was pulled tightly up against a warm body. Rage overpowered my panic at the way the ground kissed my feet again only for it to be whisked away as he traveled out. Pulling my head back, I raised up as far as I could on my toes and then slammed my head against his.

Fuck. His head was hard as shit.

Dizziness immediately flooded my brain while I clutched onto his tunic to stay steady.

“Son of a bitch. It’s. Me.”

I snorted at his exasperated tone, “I know.”

With my forehead pressed against his chest, I felt him heave a heavy sigh before he rumbled out, “Always so difficult.”

“What the hell did I hit?” I asked, watching a little yellow bird fly pass my line of sight. Well, that’s concerning.

“My cheekbone.”

Blinking hard, I relaxed slightly as the bird disappeared. “I thought I told you not to touch me.” I spit, trying to struggle out of his grip.

“You did.” He said, sliding his arms to loop low around my waist. “But unless you want to be lost in the endless darkness…”

Gritting my teeth, I snapped, “Honestly, I might prefer it.”

“Just relax, Cell Bait. I’ll get us there in one piece.”

Laying my head against his chest, I sighed before lifting a booted foot and slamming down in the hopes of catching his foot. When I felt his muscles tense beneath my cheek, I smiled and dug my nails into his cloth covered chest. “Just getting comfortable.”

Instead of answering, his arms tightened around my waist with his hands on my hips to flatten me against him painfully. Laughing at his pettiness, I sunk my nails deeper into his chest.

……………………………………………

Ground pressed up against my boots for the sixth time but when it didn’t immediately disappear, I opened my eyes. Trees lined the edges of the dirt road we stood on while a peek around Cillian’s shoulder showed a small town in the distance. Straightening my stiff fingers, I wiggled them against his chest to loosen them up. The thought of little red crescent marks on his pec’s from my harsh grip brought a smirk to my lips.

A loud cough had Cillian dropping his tight hold on me, though it didn’t really make a difference. His grip had been so tight that the phantom feeling of his arms around my hips lingered as I stepped out of his personal space. Spinning on my heel, I felt the end of my high ponytail swish against my spine as I made eye contact with Erick. His brown gaze as always was judgmental but only lingered on me for a moment before he looked at Cillian. How refreshing.

Sliding my eyes over the group, they connected with narrowed ones underneath arched pink brows. Dani’s eyes shot from me to Cillian and then back again before tilting her head in question. Taking two fingers, I swiped them in a straight line under my collarbone in a causal move. ‘A necessary evil.’

Rolling my neck until it cracked, I bent at the waist and shifted my hips until my lower back cracked as well. Releasing a sigh of relief, I stood up and crossed over the ground separating us from the rest of the group. Once I was standing beside them, I pinned my eyes to the light brown bridge in front of us. The planks were run down and rotted while others were missing with moss covered ropes holding the whole thing together. In short, the bridge looked like it hadn’t been redone in centuries and would snap at any weight put on it. Which wasn’t promising, considering it’d drop you who knew how deep into a gagged gash in the earth.

“Alright,” I capped my hands to get their attention. “Who knows how to travel mid-free fall?” All but two hands rose in the air which was way more than I was expecting. “Perfect. You two stay close to us and if we fall, grab onto someone who knows how. If you can’t, I’ll grab you. Everyone else travel to the closest body of water you can think of.”

“My Queen, I don’t think you should step on the bridge. You wait here while we-”

“Nope. No, thank you. I’ll take the same risks as my soldiers.”

Erick gave me a disapproving look but didn’t push me on the matter.

Casting a look over each of their faces, I ended on Cillian’s as I said, “Remember the rules.”

Right as I turned away, I could have sworn I saw a spark in his metallic eyes. Fighting the automatic urge to attack him again, I forced my limbs to stay loose and light. Trolls weren’t fast but a blow from them or their weapons could crush bones like butter. And I knew from past experiences, that those hurt like a son of a bitch and took hours to heal.

Dirt kicked up around my black boots to swirl over the dirt road in little tan tornados. The closer we got to the bridge the more it became almost soundless. Natural wildlife and insects avoided the large crack in the ground making the area look empty. About roughly twenty to thirty feet across, there was a good ten feet on either side of the crack that was completely bare. But if you pressed your hands to the ground, you could feel the tremors coming from below.

My boot had just skimmed over the top of the first wooden slat when I was roughly shoved to the side. Tripping over my feet, I slammed my hand against the wooden post of the bridge to stop myself from falling. Infuriated, I whipped my head over to where I had been standing only to come face to face with a broad back covered in black cloth. Oh, you....

Silver hair glinted in the early sunlight as he tipped his head to the side to look back at me, “Safety first.”

Taking a deep breath, I released it on a shuddering exhale while watching him take cautious steps onto the bridge. Shooting my arm out, I stopped the rest of the group from following him out onto the rickety wood. Swallowing my rage for what was probably the millionth time today, I forced myself to follow behind him but not before hissing at the others to stay on land.

The planks creaked and swayed underneath our weight but held surprisingly steady. Hands gliding over the moss covered ropes, I sped up until I was practically stepping on the back of Cillian’s heels. So close that I actually bumped into his back when he suddenly stopped. Bending to the side, I look around his shoulder to find short almost invisible tan shapes scaling up the far side of the huge crevice. The Bas de gach Troll Clan. They were actually a pretty impressive bunch. Horror stories of what they did to captured Fae were what kept adolescents from doing something stupid. Like say, trying to pass over their bridge unnoticed. Yeahhh, this was a very old deal that I was collecting on.

The muscles in Cillian’s back went tense as he watched them, “Stay behind me, Cell Bait.”

Ducking under his arm, I slid through the small space between him and the ropes to end up in front. “I don’t recognize Cell Bait as one of my many names.”

“Divines damnit, Macha! Get back here.” He hissed.

Ignoring him, I strutted forward until I was standing in the middle of the bridge. Cupping my hands around my mouth, I leaned over the side and shouted down, “Coaimhe, Babes! It’s me! The Fae you did a deal with! Get your ass up here! ”

My voice echoed back off the surrounding rocks as the tan figures halted in their climbing. The laugh I couldn’t stop from coming out was the next thing to bounce off the rock walls until one Troll in particular began racing to the top. Thick arms reached out to grip the rock before propelling her body up higher. Chunks of rock broke underneath Coaimhe’s grip and tumbled down into the dark crevice.

Leaning back, I whispered out of the corner of my mouth, “Is it just me or is she climbing that rock a little aggressively?”

After a few moments passed and no response came, I risked a glance behind me only to immediately roll my eyes. He was such a child. Cillian stood exactly where I left him a couple feet back on the bridge with his arms crossed over his chest. And when he caught my eye roll, his lips twisted down into a feral snarl.

Sneering right back, I hissed, “What are you? Five hundred?”

“This’ll never work if you can’t lean on me. I’m here to make your life easier, not harder, Macha.” He replied, silver brows furrowing in frustration.

“Oh, piss off.”

“Fine. Let’s see how well you get through this without me.”

“You are grossly overestimating my need for your help.”

Seemingly fed up with my attitude already, he snapped, “What is it going to take, Macha? Hmm? What is it going to take for you to trust me again? Because obviously the Oath didn’t help.”

“You mean the band aid we slapped over the throbbing wound of my hatred for you. Yea, shocker.” I spat in disbelief and turned all the way around to look him in the eye.

Cillian shot me a deadpanned look, “You can’t possibly hate me that much. It’s been seven hundred and fifty years since then.”

“You stabbed me in the chest with iron and then sent me to the most infamous maximum security Unseelie prison in the history of our realm. I don’t think there’s a time limit as to how long I can hate you.”

“I already told you. I didn’t want to send you there, but I did what I thought I had to do. Besides, I helped you escape. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

Every emotion but pure unfiltered rage fled from my body.

Fisting my hands, I bared my sharpened teeth, “Shouldn’t that count for something? Shouldn’t that count for something? You...you...you unbelievably gigantic gaping ASSHOLE!”

Said asshole actually took a step back at my enraged scream before having the nerve to say, “So, we’re not hiding our anger anymore? Good to know.”

“Do you know what they did to me in there? Do you know what the fuck Fearghas did to me?” Tilting my head to the side, what I said next came out in a dangerous purr as I moved closer to him, “Did you watch the tapes, Cillian?”

His eyes cautiously scanned over my vibrating form, “What tapes?”

“The ones Mab had Fearghas take of our little, what did you call them? Interrogation sessions. So, she could watch.” My hands shot out to grip the moss covered railings as the bridge rocked hard but I never took my eyes off my prey.

“No. I didn’t know they were doing that, Macha. I swear it. And if I knew I would’ve tried to stop them.”

A cruel smile stretched my lips as I sang, “Why, oh why, don’t I believe youuuu?”

“You don’t have to believe me but I’m telling you the truth. Ever since I got here, I’ve done nothing but tell you the truth.” His own hands curled tightly over the railings while a scowl darkened his features.

“Little critters!” Called a booming voice from behind me.

Ignoring it, I focused on advancing on the male in front of me. “What I went through in that prison, you wouldn’t have lasted a year. Let alone seven hundred and fifty of them! You stabbing me in the fucking chest happened a very long time ago but the pain you put me through ended barely two months ago! And you won’t even admit to being wrong or sorry!”

“I did it to save your fucking life! If I hadn’t done what I did, you would be dead right now! So, yeah. I’m not sorry. Because I’d rather have you alive then dead!”

My swords slid into my palms the second I let go of the railing to point them at him. “I never asked you to do that!” I screamed back.

“You know what, Macha? What are you really angry about? Huh? Cause I still don’t understand why you’re this upset? We’re Fae, this isn’t anything new between Unseelies!” The veins in his neck strained against his skin as the words crawled out from between his tightly clenched teeth.

“Critters!” The booming voice shouted out again. This time from a position much closer to me.

Every piece of metal on my body, besides the one inside my wrist, hovered in the air around me with sharp tips honed in on Cillians body. The twin swords in my hands broke apart into jagged pieces as my hair fell around my face. With my eyes pinned on his every move, I watched him slowly grab his battle axes from over his shoulders in silent fury.

Nothing else registered as the anger I felt consumed me until I could barely think coherently. “Are you fucking serious? Did you not listen to a single word I just said?”

“I did,” He said, flashing me sharpened teeth. “And I call bullshit.”

Calling his axes, I gave him an insanity tinged laugh as they ripped from his hands to land in mine. Wielding his battle axes, I twirled them in my grip before slamming them into the wooden slats between us. Watching the wooden chips fade into the darkness in delight. Cillian stumbled back as the very tip of the axes slammed into the one he was standing on and shattered beneath him.

“Bullshit?” I laughed without humor. “BULLSHIT?”

Righting himself, he barked, “Yea. Bullshit. Tell me why you really hate me.”

“I already told you.” I snapped, my thoughts spinning violently.

He spread his arms wide with an angry smile, seemingly uncaring of the sharp hovering metal still pointed at him, “Come on, Cell Bait! Don’t hold back now!”

Chest heaving in fury, I screamed, “Because you betrayed me, you arrogant son of bitch! YOU CHOSE THAT CUNT OVER ME!”

—

Wheeeww, that was a lot to unpack y’all. Looks like Cillian finally pushed Macha over the edge. But she did have a huge break through...so I guess Cillian being asshole does have some perks. Lol.

As always, feel free to comment you thoughts on the chapter or the book so far!

Smooches, Verbage 💋

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