Seer
Chapter 30

Natalie’s

While Guardian and I are pondering the growing problem regarding Jonathan and his Guardian, of course we are also attending to the conversation between the children.

Natalie has resolved to continue her efforts with Jonathan, but no longer wishes to discuss it tonight. She will let the problem settle into the back of her mind overnight, and hope to have gained insight in her dreams by the morning. This is another aspect of the subconscious mind that Timothy is attempting to educate himself regarding, and that he has begun actively using in his contact with Guardian.

She wishes to redirect the conversation to that contact. “Tell me more about how it’s going with Guardian. Like, how much are you hearing him?”

“I’m hearing him a lot more, like I said. I also feel his feelings all the time now.” He pauses for a moment. “There is something else I want to know, that I think might help.”

Eagerly, Natalie asks, “What?”

“Well,” Timothy replies, “you’ve told me what Angel looks like. But I don’t know what Guardian looks like. I wish that I could picture him when he’s talking to me. I think it would help me hear him better. I’ve been imagining him looking like an angel, but I want to know all the details. Angel, can you describe Guardian for me?”

How strange, that this question, regarding the appearance of Guardians, is one that I used to dread. I knew it would arise someday, and I worried that it would be difficult to answer, for the children to understand. However, in light of the looming difficulty with Jonathan and his Guardian, the question of appearance seems simplistic.

I smile at Natalie, and she waits expectantly for my answer. “My children, although this might come as some surprise to you, this is not a question with a simple answer.”

Natalie raises her eyebrows and tilts her head. “It seems simple enough. Just look at Guardian and tell me what you see.”

This makes me chuckle. “If only it were that easy, my darling. First I must explain something to you about Guardians, about how we are made.”

She looks at me quizzically, and repeats this to Timothy. He is equally puzzled. Neither of them can imagine how this could possibly be so complicated.

I look to Guardian, who merely waits for me to continue. Sometimes it seems that Guardian finds it amusing to watch me put in the position of having to answer the children’s more challenging questions. I think he’s enjoying this.

“You know that I have told you in the past that Guardians are made of what your scientists might refer to as dark matter.”

Natalie repeats this, and they both nod their heads.

“And also, you know that this type of matter does not interact with your physical world in any way.”

Again, they nod.

“Because of this, as strange as this may sound to you, Guardians do not actually have a physical appearance.”

As I anticipated, Natalie scoffs at this obvious misstatement after she repeats it to Timothy. “What? Yes you do. I’m looking at you right now.”

“Yes my darling, but what you are seeing is not my true form. I have created this image for you to see, forming myself into the shape of the angel that you expected when you were extremely young.”

The children stare at each other, then Natalie looks back over at me. They are both silent for a long moment. “This isn’t what you really look like?” she asks, perturbed, indicating with her hands the apparition of an angel that she clearly sees before her.

“It is what I look like, for you. I fabricated this shape for your benefit. As soon as you were born, I knew that you could see me, so I tried to make a nice shape for you to look at. At first, I was just a friendly face for you to see. I assumed this angel form somewhat later, after you saw the guardian angel painting in your grandmother’s house.” I smile at her expression of astonishment, and add, “For a brief time, I even looked like the little Beanie Baby angel bear that you used to carry around with you all the time.”

Her eyes light up. “Little Angel! I remember him! I used to love that bear.”

“I know, my darling, and I had altered my appearance to be similar to that. After you saw the painting, I shifted again to more closely resemble the angel depicted there.”

Timothy is looking more and more astonished as he listens to Natalie speaking, first relaying my comments, then adding her side of the conversation. “So,” he says, “guardians can look like anything they want?”

“Essentially. Guardians can form themselves into any shape that seems most helpful. They often assume a human form, because that helps the Guardian feel closer to their own human.”

Natalie says, “I feel like this is the craziest thing you’ve ever told us, and that includes you telling us there isn’t even any God!”

I laugh. I am pleased that this discussion is happening. One more question answered, one more topic out of the way.

Timothy repeats his original question. “So, what does Guardian look like?”

I smile. “This is the reason that I felt that I must explain the situation before answering your question. Guardian has no actual appearance at all. He has never formed himself into any shape.”

Timothy wrinkles his forehead. “So does that mean he’s just invisible?”

Natalie is not convinced. “No,” she objects, “I know that you can see him, Angel. I see you looking over at him while he’s talking to you.”

“Yes, my darling, you are very perceptive. I can look at where Guardian is located. However, I do not see any shape there.” I pause for a moment, considering. “There is something, though, it is not as if he is entirely invisible. When a Guardian has never assumed a specific form, their presence can be seen by other Guardians as a faint trace of matter in the air.”

Now Timothy is all business. “Please describe it exactly. Is it like a cloud?”

I laugh a little, as Guardian enjoys watching me try to describe him. “Yes, you might say perhaps that it looks a bit like a cloud. Or, possibly more like just a faint wisp of steam.”

“Ok,” says Timothy, and draws his notebook over to him, prepared to take notes. The little scientist at work. “How big is the wisp of steam? Exactly, please.”

Guardian is the one laughing now. I try to view him analytically. The laughter makes no difference in his form, any more than his other emotions would change his shape. “I will attempt to describe it as precisely as I am able. The wisp is no more than 12 inches in diameter. It is approximately spherical. There is no color. It is neither dark nor light. There truly is almost no physical form at all.”

Timothy notates his book. “Well, thanks, I guess that sounds about as accurate as possible.” He sighs. “I wish he looked like something, though. I really wanted to be able to imagine him while he talked.”

“My dearest Timothy, Guardian would be delighted to assume any form you prefer. As I have crafted this appearance for Natalie’s benefit, so Guardian can shape himself into whatever you think would be best. In fact, Guardian has been considering, since you began speaking with him, whether he should assume some kind of physical manifestation.”

Timothy’s eyes grow large. “Oh!” he says. “Uh, wow, that’s something to think about.”

“Guardian wishes to know if you would like for him to appear human. He can create a shape as vague or as detailed as you would like. If you prefer, while you are considering whether you would like something more specific, he can assume a humanoid shape, then wait for further instructions.”

Timothy quirks his head to the side. “Um, yeah, I guess that would be good, if you wouldn’t mind, Guardian.”

Natalie laughs. “Honestly, Timothy, you have to agree, right? This is the craziest thing yet!”

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