Seer
Chapter 29

Timothy

I’m hearing Guardian better every day. Last night I got Natalie’s word right away, but it’s probably because it was so obvious. The word was “Legoland”, and I know that’s where they went yesterday. I’ll have to ask her to start giving me harder words.

Ever since I figured out how to open my mind right when I’m falling asleep so Guardian’s messages can come to me pretty clearly, I’ve been experimenting with it. There’s a feeling you get when your mind is almost dreaming but before you’re asleep, and I’m starting to be able to create that feeling even when I’m not sleeping. I have to just make my mind go very quiet, and relax myself as much as I can. When I feel that dreamy feeling come, if I open my mind then, I can tell what Guardian is saying. It isn’t easy to do, but I’m getting better at it. And I can’t hear Guardian as well as I know Natalie can hear Angel, but I can definitely get his messages. Maybe not word by word, but I can sense his meaning. It’s not perfect, but it has really progressed a lot.

Guardian is happy about it too. That’s something that’s getting better too - my ability to sense his feelings. It’s starting to be almost constant, that I can feel him near me, and can tell what he’s feeling. You’d think it would be strange, but it isn’t. More like it’s comforting. I like having him there.

I wonder what he looks like. I haven’t thought about this before, since I’ve been focusing so hard on hearing him, but I wish I could see him too. I know that’s not possible, but at least I’d like to get a description. I suppose all the guardians look like Angel does, but I guess I could ask Natalie to have Angel describe him for me. Maybe if I can picture Guardian in my mind, I’ll be able to communicate with him better.

When I see Natalie later, I’ll remember to ask.

I get back to reading my book. Mom brought me to the library yesterday to find books about how the mind works. I want to learn more about the subconscious. I wasn’t able to find anything for someone my age, which isn’t surprising. So I got a few books that are probably for older kids, maybe even for college students. I have to admit that this stuff is hard to read, but I’m trying to find parts that I can understand.

Guardian is near me, and I feel his support, and it helps me concentrate.

Laura

I’m getting nervous. Michael will be here in just a few days, after another long deployment. It’s been six months. I feel pretty lucky that it didn’t turn out to be longer. After September 11, when our military got involved in all sorts of new conflicts, I was afraid his deployment would be extended a lot longer. But as far as I can tell, he’ll still be back on December 5.

I’m spending the weekend getting the house clean. Timothy is up in his room reading. I couldn’t believe the stack of textbooks that he got about brain development on our last trip to the library. I doubt he’s going to be able to understand much of what he’s reading, but he’s giving it a try. He’s determined. He goes through phases, where he is intensely interested in something and I end up helping him find books that he uses to try to figure it out. A while ago it was physics, when he wanted to try to learn about how the Twin Towers fell in New York after the planes hit them. Now apparently it’s neuroscience. What a kid.

I’ve tried to explain to him that some fields of study, especially in the sciences, will probably require years of coursework before he can really start understanding some of this stuff. Also that he’ll be able to major in whatever he wants in college to get really detailed about what he’s learning. But he’s not willing to wait that long. He wants to learn now.

I wonder what Michael is going to think about all this. He’s always found Timothy a little hard to relate to. Is seeing his seven-year-old with his nose buried in a college textbook going to make him proud of how smart he is? Or just freak him out about how weird he is? Maybe a little of both.

It’s always both with Timothy. Smart and weird. My wonderful little brainy weirdo, I think, smiling as I scrub the bathtub.

Natalie

It won’t be dinnertime for a couple of hours, but we came back to Mom’s a little early so that she can get some stuff done at home. That means I have time to go to Timothy’s. I’m glad. I have a lot to talk to him about.

When I get there he’s reading about brain stuff. I sit on the floor and look through his books. This stuff is way over my head. Ha! Stuff about brains is over my head - that’s a funny pun. I don’t tell Timothy though, I don’t think he’d appreciate it. He’s not a big fan of puns. Angel laughs a little. At least he enjoys my jokes.

I pick up another one of Timothy’s library books. “Isn’t this for, like, high school students? Or even college?” I ask him.

“Yeah,” he says, shrugging. “I can’t understand very much, but I really wanted to try to learn more about the subconscious. I’ve been using it a lot, you know, to hear Guardian more and more.”

“Are you hearing him all the time now?” I ask, excited. I really want him to have what I have with Angel.

“No,” he says, “but when I focus I can usually hear him now. It’s a lot of effort though. I’m still doing the thing where I open my mind like before, but now I also try to make my mind feel like it’s almost dreaming. It works best when I’m about to go to sleep at night, or when I first wake up. I can hear him pretty clearly then. During the rest of the time, it’s a lot harder, but if I concentrate I can still do it.”

I show him my notebook. He gets his out, and we look at “Legoland” written in both books. He smiles. “That was too easy, Natalie, I knew that was where you went yesterday. Was it fun?”

I’m not sure he really is very interested in hearing about how fun Legoland was, but he does try to be polite. “Yes,” I tell him, “but I’m not sure The Jonathan Project is going very well.”

He scrunches up his forehead. “Why not? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“Well, no, but he thought about it. And he wrecked my Lego model car on purpose. For some reason it seems like he wanted to start being mean again. He was doing so well, then he changed back to the way he used to be. I don’t know why.”

“Natalie, I think you’re the only one who ever thought this would work. Maybe it just can’t. Are you going to keep trying?”

I huff out my air. “I’m not sure. I am starting to think it won’t work, but I don’t want to give up yet. If I can’t help one kid be nicer, how can I help everyone else? I feel like this is a test and I’m worried that I’m going to flunk.” I cross my arms and lean back against the side of his bed.

He actually reaches out and pats my shoulder. “Natalie, if there is anybody in the world that can do it, it’s you. If you want to keep trying, you should. Just be careful.”

“Yeah, I will. Both, I mean. I will keep trying, and I will be careful.”

Angel says “He is right, beloved. If there is any way to accomplish your goal, you are the person who will find it. But he is also right to caution you. There is risk involved in being together with a person like Jonathan.”

“Well, Angel, that’s what you’re here for, right? To help me be careful. I trust you to help me.”

Natalie’s

My concern has only grown as I have considered the situation. Natalie has no idea that she is facing not simply a misbehaving child, but his Guardian who is increasingly hostile to her.

Jonathan’s Guardian has continued to use our discovery about additional energy in his communication to Jonathan, and it appears to be transformative. As it has transformed each of us. However, our transformations have been temporary, causing us to have more powerful communications while directing the additional energy at each other, and for a short time following each event.

With Jonathan’s Guardian, the transformation appears more profound. The desire to encourage Jonathan’s misdeeds has grown over time. His Guardian had long since stopped wishing for Jonathan to be kinder, because there is so much burning growth in his soul with each incident of cruelty. But just as the energy experiment caused me to feel an increase in strength, it has strengthened the resolve of Jonathan’s Guardian. His Guardian begins to feel a ruthless desire to participate in Jonathan’s wrongdoing, not exclusively for the enhanced growth of Jonathan’s soul, but to satisfy a growing sadistic yearning to witness the suffering of others. This trait has blossomed enormously since we discovered how to enhance our communications with energy. The use of that technique is transforming Jonathan’s Guardian into something none of us has ever seen before, something that has grown far beyond the function of a supportive and nurturing caretaker of a human soul. This Guardian wants to taste pain.

It is terrifying.

Timothy’s

I share Angel’s alarm regarding the development of Jonathan’s Guardian. Jonathan has long been an antagonist for Timothy, repeatedly teasing and annoying my beloved. However, until recently this has not amounted to much more than typical childhood bullying.

I think about the day, some weeks ago, that Timothy and Natalie asked Angel and myself to speak with Jonathan’s Guardian, to ask him to encourage Jonathan to be nicer to Timothy. It was the first day that Angel and I started communicating directly with each other, at the behest of the Seer. Even then, we could not envision a way to make the request, particularly as Jonathan’s Guardian already disdained any concept of trying to improve Jonathan’s behavior.

But things have grown much more complicated, making the situation impossible to resolve. The Seer has committed to an endeavor to help Jonathan improve himself, and his Guardian actively opposes this project. Furthermore, the Guardian has begun using our energy technique, which we painstakingly discovered through experimentation directed by my beloved Timothy. No other Guardians have presumed to indulge in such a thing, even though they are aware of our efforts. Jonathan’s Guardian, though, has begun using this energy technique to not only enhance the whispered suggestions to Jonathan, but to grow into a more powerful entity.

I agree with Angel, it is terrifying. Neither of us has any experience with this type of metamorphosis in a Guardian. The other Guardians in the family, Knight and Lady and Gabe’s, gravely listen to our concerns. We share a common intent to discuss the issue with each other later, after our humans are asleep and do not require our attention. Such a conversation was inadvisable while the family was still at the house of Natalie’s father, because Jonathan’s Guardian would have been able to hear the discussion, being in a nearby house. Our discussion might not be heard from that distance tonight, but of course the next time Jonathan is near the children, presumably tomorrow at school, his Guardian will know all once again. It is unclear what to do about any aspect of this situation. But we must consider it together.

More remarkable developments. A group of Guardians scheduling a meeting, so to speak. A Guardian council.

How things have changed.

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