Chapter 0331 Chapter 168

T'en still reeling from everything that Rowan told me. Everything that he told me made sense, but I just don't know whether I can trust his mond

My mind has been in turmoil since then. I didn't know whether to believe him or not. I get that he had a hard time letting go of everything he and Emma had planned for the future I get that he also had a hard time letting go of a love that he thought would be eternal. Hell, t understand that if I were in his shoes, I would have struggled too with my feelings, but what about me?

What about what I've been through at his hands? What about the paint endured and the feelings I'm still struggling with? I've loved Rowan even when I shouldn't have, and I think the moment I realized that I should have let go.

I want a future with him, but how can I fight against my memories of everything he's ever done to hurt me? I can forgive, but I'm really not sure that I can forget, and that's where the problem lies. I believe that past pain and memories will always pull us back a few steps behind, every time we make progress.

"We're here, ma'am," Boris, who is my driver and also my bodyguard, says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I look outside, and we're packed right outside my parent's mansion.

He gets outside, opens the door for me, and helps me unbuckle Iris. I thank him once that's done and then begin heading towards the house.

Iris was fussy, and I was double sure it's because she was hungry, or the long ride to my parents house.

The door opens before I can even knock, and Nora's excited face greets us.

"I'm so happy you're here," she says giddily, making me grin at her excitement despite my

inner turmoil.

"Hi," I murmur awkwardly.

She pulls me in for a tight hug, careful not to hurt Iris. Theo appears behind her and does the same. In their arms, I feel something that I never felt with Kate and James. The countable times they hugged me, it felt cold, but with Nora and Theo, it felt warm, and I felt like I was safe and at peace.

"Come on in... I've been anxiously waiting for you to come" she says as she ushers me inside.

"She's right, you know... She's been so excited. It was like looking at a kid in a candy store,"

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Nora slaps his chest playfully. "Stop pretending, old man, you were the same," she then turns to me. "He kept asking when his little girl would get here."

Their playfulness and the love shinning in their eyes bring an uncomfortable feeling to me. This is what I wanted with Rowan. What I've always wanted. Only, I'm not sure that we'll ever get it at this point.

I mean, Nora and Theo are teen sweethearts and are still together. Rowan and Emma were high school sweethearts, and I can't help but wonder if they would still be together if I hadn't happened. If my obsession hadn't broken them apart. I guess deep down, that's one of the things that I struggle with when it comes to my relationship with Rowan. That, and my missing memories.

When we get to the living room, I cover myself and feed Iris. When she's done, I burp her, and immediately Nora takes her from me. I don't mind because I needed to pull myself together.

I watch them play with her as I try to bring my head back in order. I was here to tell them that I was ready to give them a chance, but my head was somewhere else. I admit that I was quite a mess. My thoughts were jumbled, and I felt like I needed to make a decision.

"I can tell that you're trouble, my dear. Mind sharing?" Nora's sweet and soft voice pulls me away from my musings.

I stare at her, then Theo, wondering if I should talk to them or not. I needed advice. Letty was on team Rowan, and from what I've learned, she has always been on his team. As for my parents, they weren't really big fans of Rowan, so I don't know if their advice would be biased

or not.

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