Blood and Reign (Blood and Ruin Series Book 3)
Blood and Reign: Chapter 20

LUKA

“No.” Fear strikes through my chest as I watch Jax being tortured by Cillian instead of me.

Jax’s scream bellows out around me, pushing me forward.

I make it a couple of feet in front of the table before an invisible barrier stops me from going any further. I move around it, trying to find a way in as Jax’s screams grow louder but the barrier encases both Cillian and Jax, leaving me no way to get to him.

Not ready to give up, I clench my fists and punch as hard as I can at the barrier. I punch and kick and throw my whole body weight into it again and again, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge.

The energy in the room shifts as the scene changes to Jax on his back, with Cillian carving symbols into him. The same symbolized scars I have on my back now.

I can still remember the sharp burn from each cut as it sliced through my skin, but I would take it again and again if it meant Jax wasn’t the one on that table.

Jax’s cries soon turn to whimpers as the pain becomes too much. I swallow hard, remembering my voice was raw for days afterward .

My chest gets tighter and tighter the more Jax cries. The more I hear his pain mirror my own.

“Stop. Stop it. Please, just… stop…” I squeeze my eyes shut, blindly thumping the barrier as I beg anyone to make this stop.

But no one listens to my pleas, and Cillian doesn’t stop torturing Jax.

I can’t watch it anymore. I can’t watch my brother being tortured while I’m helpless to do anything but watch.

My knees hit the floor as I dip my head, leaning against the barrier for support.

I hear Jax’s screams pick up again and feel nothing but weak and useless. I drown in the agony, letting it consume me whole.

“This is how he felt.” I pause, hearing my voice. Turning around, I look for the source but no one’s there.

“Who felt what?” I ask.

“Jax. Our brother.”

“Our?” The room around me disappears, bringing me to another one full of darkness. A light flickers on just as… I walk up to me.

The other version of me has two gold glowing eyes that stare at me unblinking. There’s a translucent shade of gray and dark orange flames around his body similar to my wolf.

But it couldn’t be…

“Who are you?”

The other me tilts his head. “I’m… you.”

I glance around the darkness but can’t see anything beyond the two of us. “Is this another test? How can you be me?”

The other me tilts his head, a frown marring his head. “I’m… part of you. Half.”

I mirror his frown. Part of me? Part…

My eyes widen when I realize what he’s saying. “You’re… you’re him… my wolf?”

He nods his head as I walk around him. “How? How is this possible? How are you able to talk to me like this?”

Usually when we communicated, it consisted of one-word replies or a grunt or feeling.

“I don’t understand it myself.” He looks down at his hands, inspecting them before looking back up at me just as I move in front of him.

“But I know I need to be here. To protect you.”

I frown. “Protect me from what?”

My wolf turns and nods his head in the direction behind us just as it lights up, revealing the back of Cillian as he leans over the table.

“Him,” he snarls, pointing at Cillian. His flames grow as he clenches his fists. His face contorting to look more beast than man.

“I protected you then, and I’ll protect you now.” He looks back at me and the image disappears.

He frowns, a sad look in his eyes. “Even if you fear me.”

“I…” I sigh, stopping myself from lying to him. He’s a part of me, which means he knows what’s in my mind and heart. “I’m sorry.”

I glance back at the spot where Cillian and Jax were, the spot now shrouded in darkness. “How did you protect me?”

He sighs. “When he was trying to split us. I made the pain stop.”

“No…” I shake my head, remembering nothing but darkness once it got to be too much. “I… we blacked out from it. It was too much.”

He shakes his head, wearing a look of despair. “You were weak. I was able to push forward and pull you back. Protect you while he… continued to hurt us. You had taken most of the pain for us. It was my turn.”

“No… I…” I shake my head, not wanting to believe him, but something stops me. Something deep inside me tells me he’s speaking the truth.

I think back to when I passed out from the pain. When I came to, the sharp burn that sliced through every nerve came back with a vengeance. I couldn’t see or feel anything beyond the agony.

And then I sensed him somewhere in the corner of my mind.

Jax. But I still couldn’t move past the pain, not until Jax got Cillian away from me.

“I remember Jax was there when I woke up,” I tell him.

He nods, the somber look in his eyes still there. “I held out as long as I could. When I sensed our brother, I knew you would be okay soon.”

If someone had punched me in the chest, it wouldn’t have hurt this much. I stumble a step back as the realization of what he’s saying hits me hard.

He protected me…

I look up and catch him staring at me, wearing a frown. The same frown I have when I’m worried about one of the others.

I protected you then and I’ll protect you now…

He’s worried. He’s worried about me. I close my eyes, releasing a harsh breath.

I’m an idiot. Worse than an idiot. How could I ever have pushed my wolf away? How could I ever have feared him?

I open my eyes and look at him, really look at him. The more I look, the more of me I see.

He is me… He’s a part of my soul, no matter if it’s split.

If I had ever taken the time to look a little deeper, I would have found out that my wolf has always looked out for me. Whenever I was in pain and slowly healing, the pain would suddenly stop. It would cut off out of nowhere instead of healing slowly, like any other shifter. I thought it was just part of my strange abilities because of the split.

But it was him.

He’s always looked out for me and instead of seeing the truth that was right in front of me, I’ve blamed him for everything that is wrong about me.

“It’s my fault that we’re like this. I wasn’t strong enough to—”

I cut him off, stepping closer to him. “No. It’s not. It’s his. It was never our fault. We’re not broken. We’re just different but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us. I promise I will never push you away again.”

My wolf nods, the sadness finally leaving his eyes as a glint of hope replaces it. He glances over my shoulder. It’s still too dark to see anything, but he narrows his eyes, snarling at the spot.

“He needs to pay.”

Instead of helplessness or fear, I feel nothing but rage. Rage for what he did to us, to my wolf.

I nod. “He will.” No matter what happens from here on out, Cillian will pay for what he’s done.

I reach out, placing my hand on his shoulder. He frowns, glancing down at it, but doesn’t push me away, either. It’s a start. “We’ve been apart for too long, and that’s my fault. I’m truly sorry for causing you so much pain.”

He shakes his head, the rage from moments ago simmering into a soft look. “We’ll work together from here on out?”

“I promise.” We may have been two parts of a broken soul, but I have a feeling that wasn’t going to hinder us anymore. It was only going to make us stronger.

Something shifts and settles inside me, making me feel lighter. The small light in the room slowly dims just as my wolf’s flames grow lighter, turning into a bright incandescent orange that brings warmth with its blaze. The warmth brushes over my skin, settling inside me like a healing balm to my soul.

Just as we fade into the shadows, my wolf smiles.

“Thank you, brother.”

KIARRA

“How… How are you here?” My heart is racing so fast it feels like it’s ready to jump from my chest.

“I’m here to show you the truth.” King’s smile grows, turning into something ugly as he glances down at me.

He keeps looking at me with his unnerving stare as I quickly get up and put some distance between us. He doesn’t move an inch, making me question if he’s just another trick like the voices.

I glance around the open gray room looking for an escape, but as soon as the thought enters my mind, the long open room shrinks to a smaller one with no doors or windows.

I glance back at King. He’s still in the same position with that twisted smirk on his face.

Taking a deep breath, I tell myself that he’s not real, that this is all just another test. Gaining some of my strength back, I narrow my eyes on the imitation and play along with his little game for now.

“What truth?”

King’s smile grows, his face full of shrew confidence. “Of you. Of who and what you really are.”

“I already know who and what I am.” I nearly took a breakdown when finding out, but his words were nothing new and if this was the angle he was playing, then he was going to be sorely disappointed in the reaction he receives.

King sighs, that smile never dropping. “I don’t think you do. Nor do your mates. You’ve been hiding it from them.”

Hiding it from them… I frown, shaking my head at his asinine words. My mates know everything about me.

“I’m not going to play your mind games.” This fake imitation has nothing on the real one. This King evokes none of the true fear and pain from me, when the real one can do it in a single glance. And although the real King looks more put together, he is completely volatile and would never have allowed me to put distance between us, let alone talk to him like this.

King places his hands behind his back and begins slowly walking around me, keeping a couple of feet between us.

“I know what you are. I know what you’ve been hiding from everyone.”

I watch him warily, making sure he keeps his distance. Just because he wasn’t the real King didn’t make him any less dangerous.

“So, what am I?”

King stops in his tracks, his smile growing into something darker. “You’re a monster, just like me.”

I want to laugh at him, to tell him how foolish he sounds, but even when I force a chuckle out, shaking my head at him, I know deep down that it’s something I’ve always feared becoming.

King stares at me before narrowing his eyes and nodding to himself. “This is why I was drawn to you. This…” He raises a hand and waves it around the room. “…is all happening because of you.”

I shake my head. “No. It’s because of you.”

He barks a laugh, making me jump. “I may have been the one to set things in motion, but you are the catalyst to it all. If we remove you, none of this would have happened.”

It’s not true. It can’t be.

I’m too lost in my thoughts to notice him step closer. “Admit it, you’re a monster, just like me. You love the power that runs through your veins.”

I’m nothing like him. I may not be perfect. I may have made many mistakes, but I know I’m not an evil monster like him. I’m not cruel and heartless, with no love or warmth.

“No. I’m nothing like you, and I never will be.”

King steps back, tilting his head. “But what about your mates?”

“My mates love me.”

“But would they love and accept you if they knew the truth, if they saw the real you?”

“This little speech is getting old quick. I’m not a monster.”

“Are you sure?”

I feel a shift of energy over my skin just as it changes in front of my eyes, my body turning into something bloody and mangled.

I glance down at my clothes, now torn and sliced with large, bloodied gashes and cuts all seeping out.

The same strange energy shifts over my face. I reach up, my hands shaking as I feel my face… or what’s left of it. My left eye is swollen shut with the entire side of my face full of deep ridges and dripping blood.

I look up, using my good eye to find King to my right, just as a mirror appears in front of me.

My stomach drops as I stare back at my mangled face and body on display.

My face is as horrible as it feels, my left eye is barely visible from how swollen it is. The entire side of my face is scared, with blood oozing from some of the fresher scars. And there’s a large, jagged wound that runs down the entire left side of my body, the sight alone something from nightmares.

“This is what you are. What you really are.”

I shake my head, watching as the mangled girl in front of me does the same. Her visible eye wide, her face full of horror. “No.”

“Broken. Fragile. Useless. This is how your mates see you and how you really see yourself.”

They don’t see me like this. They can’t because I haven’t told them everything I went through for this very reason.

I wanted to push it all away and forget about it. Forget about what King did to me all those years and move on. I didn’t want them to think of me like this, a damaged mess. And the thought of seeing their pitying looks makes me feel weak and useless.

The energy shifts over me once more and I watch in the mirror as the mangled face slowly disappears. I release a harsh breath before freezing, my eyes growing wide with disgust at what I see.

Like I’ve been shot over and over, holes appear all over my body and face. The wounds bleed, running down my body to the floor.

Seconds pass before it changes again to one where I’m missing a limb and then a finger.

My chest grows tight as it goes on and on, the energy shifting over me again and again, showing me all the things King did to me. All the horrible things my body went through over the years.

The more I watch my body change into the broken mess before me, the more the small light inside me dims. It’s not long before I feel more fractured and fragile than I have in a long time.

Or maybe I’ve always been this broken and just hid it well. I thought I was stronger. That I had become the person I always wanted to be. But as I continue to watch the images of my tortured body grow more mangled and disgusting, I start to feel anything but strong.

The small seed of doubt grows into vines that wrap around me, holding me hostage. My knees meet the ground as I look down at my scarred hands full of open cuts and bruises.

“You finally see the truth. Your mates have already given up on you, so you might as well give up too.”

Back then, giving up was never an option, not when other lives depended on me. Not when I had something to fight for.

It’s not in me to give up, so what am I doing now? Am I really giving up? Is it that easy to break me?

I fist my hands tight and watch the cuts bleed and cover my hands.

No. No one can really break me unless I give them the power to do so. And Hell will freeze over before I let someone have that control over me.

My past may be full of memories I’d rather pretend don’t exist, but I can’t just push them to the back of my mind and ignore them, either.

A sliver of energy slides through me, growing until I find the strength inside me to stand back up and face my fears.

I look in the mirror just as my body morphs once more, but this time I look past the grotesque wounds and scars and see them for what they really are… remnants of my strength. Of when I never gave up and fought to survive long enough to be free.

I am strong and just like every time before this, I will fight and be free once again.

The scars on my hands start to heal as I turn to King and I look right at him.

“You’re lying. My mates would never leave me.” Reaching down inside me, I push and push until I feel the connection between us. I pull it to me, letting it wrap around me until it’s all I feel.

The connection is right where it’s always been, and it’s stronger than ever.

A smile crawls across King’s face. “Are you sure?”

My lips twitch as I give him a blank stare. “Positive.”

His smile wavers. “They lied to you.”

“No, you’re the liar. You’ve always been the liar, the manipulator.”

He takes a step back as I move forward.

“Without you, I would’ve had them by my side all these years. There would be more people around me that cared for me. I was foolish once, but not anymore. I see you for what you really are. Nothing. And that’s all you’ll ever be.”

His smile drops as he takes another step back. He keeps going until suddenly he stops, dipping his head.

I feel a shift of strange energy again, but this time it’s in front of me. This time it’s coming from King.

King’s entire demeanor changes as he lifts his head, sending me a soft smile. Something that looks strange on his normally cold face.

“Well done, Kiarra, I’m so proud of you,” King speaks, but it’s not his voice, it’s a soft woman’s voice I’ve never heard before. Though the familiarity in her tone would say differently.

I open my mouth to ask what’s going on, but King shakes his head, that soft smile still firmly in place. “I’ll explain everything soon, I—”

King frowns, his eyes widening before he grabs his stomach and disappears.

I glance around the room, but everything has disappeared. Another type of energy settles over me, making me shiver as it slowly seeps into the room.

The dim light shutters before turning off completely, encasing me in the dark.

“Hello?” My voice echoes out around me with nothing but silence to greet me. I reach out in front of me and take a step forward. As soon as I do, the light beams back on, momentarily blinding me.

I blink away the light, trying to see my surroundings, when an icy feeling trails down my back.

Turning around, I come face to face with King. And this time, I know he’s not an imitation.

“Hello, Kiarra.”

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