Blood and Reign (Blood and Ruin Series Book 3)
Blood and Reign: Chapter 19

“They’re dead, and it’s all your fault.”

The voice has been at it for what feels like hours. Not only a voice but illusions of some kind where my brothers are killed over and over again and no matter how hard I try, there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

My hands are drenched in their blood as I look down at Axel’s lifeless body. His skin is so white, the blood against his stomach wound stands out even more.

An unknown enemy appears from nowhere and attacks before I get a chance to stop it. It never shows its face, striking and killing my family before I can save them.

No matter how fast, or skilled, or strong I am. They die.

Each. And. Every. Single. Time.

This game the Underworld is playing is so much more than a mental game with some mind tricks because not only do they get inside your head, but they also get inside your fucking heart, too.

It’s as if they know our deepest fears and bring them to life. Everything I’ve gone through feels real. So real that even though I know on some level, this can’t be real, my heart still fucking shatters each time I lose one of them.

I don’t know how long I can keep this up before it starts messing with my head. I haven’t seen any of the guys and Kiarra…

I don’t even want to think about where she might be. If she’s going through anything like this, I can only imagine the pain she’s in.

Axel disappears as I fist my bloodied hands. If she’s hurt, in any way, those who have caused her pain will pay.

The ground beneath my feet shifts and changes like every other time before it. The scene rewinding and starting again all new as if no destruction or death were here moments ago. The only thing that never disappears is the blood on my hands. It coats them each time as if reminding me that every one of their deaths is my fault.

A nail in the coffin for the past fuck ups I can never fix.

I stand up, readying myself for the next attack. I tried sitting out on one but watching my brothers call out to me, even as an illusion, felt all too real, making those deaths even worse than the rest.

So, I keep trying, hoping this time will be the time that I save them.

I turn to my left, knowing from the last few times the attacker will come from this direction. But looking at it now makes me pause. The dark alley is no longer there and instead I’m standing in a room, a lab.

The room lightens and reveals a wide lab with white floors and walls. There’s an empty metal table in the middle of the room with utensils on the tray beside it.

There’s no one else here, but I know it won’t be too long before someone or something shows up.

I walk over to the wall lined with various sharp weapons. I pick up a small dagger just as I hear a gasp from behind me.

Tightening my hand on the hilt of the blade, I whip around ready for the oncoming attack but freeze with what I see, the dagger clanging to the ground as my heart fucking stops.

Kiarra is tied to the metal table with blood all over her as a man with no face walks up to her, a gun in his hand.

“Please, please don’t do this.” Kiarra’s pleas break my heart.

“Please.” I snap out of my frozen state and push forward, making it over to her in seconds only to be blocked by some invisible force a couple of feet in front of her.

My eyes widen in horror as I realize what’s about to happen. “No.”

I punch the invisible barrier again and again as Kiarra’s pleas grow louder the closer the man gets.

“Don’t do this. Let me save her. At least let me save her.” I punch harder and harder, my hands going numb from the force of it, but still the barrier stays in place.

The man raises his hand and points the gun straight at Kiarra’s head. She squeezes her eyes shut just as he pulls the trigger.

“Please.” The gunshot rings out alongside Kiarra’s final whispered plea as I’m brought to my knees.

Blood splatters my face as everything in the room turns silent, the only sound my rattling chest as I try to catch my breath.

My eyes are on the ground, the once white ground now covered in blood.

Kiarra’s blood.

This is what she lived day after day for six years. This torture. And it’s my fault.

I stare at the bloodied floor until it’s all I see. Until my heart is bleeding alongside it, ripped and raw from watching this one moment.

One moment is all I saw, and Kiarra went through this torture hundreds of times… maybe more.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to tell me that this is my subconscious way of dragging up the nightmares of what Kiarra went through all those years with King. And how much guilt I feel for not looking harder, for giving up when I never should have.

The scene rewinds and resets itself, the lab immaculate with Kiarra and the man gone. The only thing left behind is the blood on my face and hands.

This is what I deserve for giving up on her. I sigh, working on autopilot, and move to get up and go through it again and again. I push myself up to stand, but a force similar to the barrier stops me from getting up.

I frown, trying again, but only move a few inches before a slight weight sits on my bent knees. I blink and Kiarra is in my arms, dying slowly in front of me.

“No. Please, not like this.” Kiarra looks up at me with so much sadness and pain, it rips my heart out all over again.

“It’s okay,” I tell her, gripping her frail body tighter to me.

She opens her mouth to speak but sputters up blood.

“Kiarra? Kiarra baby, stay with me. Please.”

I watch the light slowly dim in her eyes just as her body grows heavy and stops moving completely.

I pull her into me, holding her body against mine. My own, trembling with the agony I feel inside me.

I should have seen the signs. Even as kids, I knew there was something about King that wasn’t right.

“I should’ve taken you away. I should’ve taken you all away. Rion would never have become a killer for his parents. Luka, Jax, and Axel would never have gone through what they went through with their families, and we would’ve all been safe together.”

I rock her body from side to side, holding her for as long as I can. “I was supposed to protect you all and look out for you. You all trusted me, and I let you down. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.”

“You’re right. It is all your fault.” The voice above me echoes my thoughts, sending another shard to slice through my shredded heart.

“It all started with you. Without you, none of this would have happened.” The voice is right. None of this would have happened. I should’ve stayed away from them all… I should’ve…

My body freezes as a thought hits me.

No. If I never had met the boys, then Rion would still be with his parents and Jax and Luka… I can’t even imagine what would have happened to them. Axel would never have met us, still lost and alone.

And Kiarra… She would have still met King either way.

Like a ton of steel has hit me, I blink as the realization of what could’ve been, sets in. Without me there, we’d still all have gone through our struggles. Our own versions of Hell.

We may have broken apart, but in the end, I made sure to get each of my brothers back together. And even though the guilt of not looking harder for Kiarra won’t leave me, I have to accept the things I cannot change in order to move forward.

Even though I would’ve preferred a different outcome for us all, I wouldn’t change the outcome we have now. One where we’re altogether with Kiarra.

I need to let the rest go. And leave the past where it belongs… In the past.

It’s the only way we can all move forward.

I hug Kiarra once more, feeling her body grow lighter as she disappears. “I won’t let you down this time. I promise.”

The lab resets itself, the blood disappearing from everything but my hands—

My eyes widen as the blood starts to disappear from them too, the tightness in my chest slowly easing. I release a breath, finally starting to feel a bit lighter as the lab around me grows darker.

I take one last deep breath, closing my eyes as I’m consumed by the darkness, welcoming it one last time.

My eyes squint open, slowly adjusting to the harsh light. I’m lying on the floor in a bare room. The walls are black, the floor gray with a type of thick metal paneling on it.

“What the—”

I turn and find Axel sitting up, looking around. A couple of feet beside him is a passed out Jax. Further down lies Rion. I nod to Axel, asking him if he’s okay. He nods back, the same look in his eyes telling me he went through Hell but made it to the other side, just like me.

Axel moves to Jax, and I make my way to Rion, both waking before we reach them.

“What’s going on? Where are we now?” Jax asks, jumping up.

I help Rion up as Axel lightly punches Jax in the arm. “I don’t know. I woke up here just like you, shithead.”

Jax pats himself down before doing the same to Axel. Axel frowns at him, pushing him away. “What the hell are you doing?”

Jax turns around just as Rion and I reach them, a hopeful look on his face. “Is this real, or is it another test?”

“It’s real,” I tell him. I don’t know how I know, but I know this moment is real, and so are each of my brothers.

“Good. The last test kind of sucked.” Axel frowns at Jax but nods his head, agreeing with him.

“You can say that again.”

Jax opens his mouth, but Axel places his hand over it to stop whatever he is about to say. Jax narrows his eyes on him, smacking his hand away before looking at me. “So, I’m guessing everyone else just lived through their worse fucking nightmares and memories?”

“Pretty much.” Axel grumbles as he looks around the room. “Where’s Kiarra and Luka?”

Jax freezes as if he just realizes they’re missing. He opens his mouth to say something when Axel’s frown deepens, taking in the room again. “And why the fuck aren’t there any windows or door in this room?”

As if he’s summoned an answer, a door appears from nowhere on the other side of the room.

We all look at one another, sharing a promise to stick together no matter what happens next before making a move toward it.

A couple of steps is all we take before it opens, revealing Ivor and Soren. The minute they step into the room, the entire atmosphere changes.

Axel cracks his knuckles, narrowing his eyes. “Good timing. I was looking for something to release this built-up energy. You two fucking traitors will do.”

They both take a step back just as the door behind them disappears, leaving them trapped inside with us.

Ivor raises his hands, his eyes wide with fear. “Wait. Just let us explain.”

Rion unsheathes one of his daggers from his side. “The time for explaining has passed.”

Soren swallows hard. The fear on Ivor’s face mirrored on his own. “Please. Let us explain. I promise you, it will all make sense soon.”

“First, take us to Kiarra and Luka.”

Ivor and Soren share a look, one filled with worry. “That’s not feasible right now, but I promise you, they’re both safe.”

“Your promises mean shit to us. Take us to them or King will be the last thing you need to worry about.” Jax’s eyes flash, his wolf ready to attack.

“Look at that. Looks like I can shift now, too.” Jax laughs just as flames light up Axel’s arms.

Axel’s grin turns cruel as he steps forward. “I’d start begging for my life if I were you. We might make it quick.”

Axel shares a look with Jax before shaking his head. “Scratch that, this is definitely going to hurt.”

“Wait.” Jax and Axel freeze as soon as I mutter the word.

“Why?” Axel grits out, but I know his anger isn’t aimed at me.

“I want to know why they put us through it all. The Underworld has nothing to gain from our personal issues.”

“Maybe they fucking feed on our fears.” Jax shrugs, not looking bothered either way.

Ivor takes another step back. “We don’t. That’s not what the trials were for.”

“Then what are they for? Start talking. Now.”

Ivor grunts as my alpha power spreads out around the room demanding an answer. “The minute you used your abilities on the battlefield, we knew you were special, but we could sense your potential was being blocked by something inside each of you. Something was holding you back. Rielle—”

“Who’s Rielle?” I ask.

“She’s the guardian that created the trials for you. Each one was supposed to help you overcome a barrier each of you placed within yourselves. In order to move past that barrier, you needed to work through each trial before moving on.”

“Moving on to what?” Axel asks, his flames still burning brightly along his arm.

Soren glances at Ivor before answering. “Power. True power. The kind that could create or destroy worlds.”

I share a look with the guys before nodding to Ivor to continue. “Why three trials?”

“You were all blocked emotionally, physically, and mentally. There was a trial for each. The first was to open up to each other on a deeper level. Channeling that bond is what powered the bracelets.”

“Channeling what?”

Ivor frowns with Soren before glancing back at us. “Your inner bond. By coming together and reaching deep within, you can channel your bond and create a stronger soul bond.” Ivor’s frown deepens, a look of confusion slashed across his face. “If you didn’t tap into the inner bond, then how did you charge the bracelets?”

I clear my throat as Jax chuckles. “Oh, we definitely tapped into something alright… Let’s just say we found an… alternative way.”

Ivor nods, his frown still in place. “Either way, you passed releasing the block that was stopping you from forming that connection. Once that was complete, you moved on to the arena. Each of you is extremely powerful, but you all have a deep-seated fear of not being strong enough to do what needs to be done.”

I share a look with the guys, the truth of Ivor’s words hitting me in the chest. We all fear not being able to protect one another. No matter how strong we are, there is always someone stronger out there.

“We needed you to prove to yourselves that even with a limited amount of your strength, you can do whatever you put your mind to. That no matter how much power you have, the only limitation is how you use it.”

Jax moves to go to Ivor. I stop him before he knocks him out, and we don’t get our answers to where Kiarra and Luka are. Jax starts pacing as Ivor keeps a watchful eye on him.

“And finally, you’ve all had traumatic pasts that needed to be healed.”

Jax’s eyes narrow on him. “Healed? You messed with our brains, fucking ripped out our hearts, and call it healing?”

Ivor’s gaze softens, but it looks more condescending than anything. “We needed you all to move past the barriers you had in place so you could access the true bond and power that comes with it.”

Rion narrows his eyes on them both. “For what? What was the point in all this? I have a feeling the Underworld doesn’t do therapy sessions for the broken. Besides, we’re already bonded.”

Soren sighs loudly, making my right eye twitch. “Yes, but as Ivor points out, you’re all special. Meaning you have something no one else has, or at least no one I’ve come across has. And I’ve been around a while.”

Jax mimics Soren’s sigh, making it louder and more obnoxious. “Okay, old man, then explain what super special stuff we have that no one else has?”

Soren rolls his eyes, mumbling about idiots. “Do you have any idea who your mate is created from?”

We all freeze.

Jax frowns. “Draven said she was created from the power of the pits of Hell.”

Soren scrubs a hand down his face, nodding. “Yes, she was created from its core, but did you never think about where that power came from? The very core of the Underworld? The power that contains the Underworld itself?”

With my fists clenched at my side, it takes everything in me not to go over and rip the answers from his throat. Anything to do with my mate’s safety would not be taken lightly.

“Why don’t you tell us instead of talking in circles?”

Soren’s eyes find mine. “Erebus.”

One word and we all freeze. Axel’s flames die out, and Jax drops his arms as he looks at Soren in shock. “A God?”

“Yes. Kiarra was created from the power of the God of Darkness himself, and if you think you’ve seen even the tip of her powers, you’d be sorely mistaken.”

Axel frowns. “But what has that got to do with us?”

Soren and Ivor share a look, but it’s Soren who answers. “Kiarra is the closest thing to what’s left of the Gods. She might even be as powerful as Erebus himself, and you all share her blood. Technically, you all are the closest thing to Gods, if not as powerful as them. We need you all to be able to access that power, but to do that, you needed to let go of your doubts and fears.”

“Why? Why now?” Although I’m glad to feel the relief from realizing some hard truths, we could’ve spent this time looking for King together. Instead of chasing demons and fucking nightmares.

I glare at Ivor as he looks at us all before focusing on me, completely oblivious to my rising temper.

“King. He’s more powerful than we expected and more dangerous, too. If he’s not stopped soon, your world won’t just be destroyed, but many other realms will fall with it.”

Soren gives us all a serious look. “Basically, you’re our only hope.”

“So… no pressure?” Jax scoffs, shaking his head. “Fine. We get it. But a fucking heads up would’ve been nice.”

Ivor gives him a look of pity. It only pisses me off more. “I’m afraid time is not on our side.”

Axel’s eyes grow wide. “Says the fucking people who placed us in some twisted nightmare games.”

“It wasn’t—”

I sigh, cutting off Ivor’s reply. “Just take us to Kiarra and Luka, and we’ll figure this out.”

“Well…” Ivor and Soren share another worried look.

“What? You said they were safe.” I take a step forward, ready to rip their throats out and burn this place down if they lied to us.

Ivor looks straight at me, wincing when he sees the look on my face. “They are, but they seem to be… struggling a bit.”

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