Ivar

Because I was scared, I thought.

Instead, I said, “Because you didn’t ask me to.”

She stayed quiet, then. Maybe thinking back to that night. Maybe wishing I had stayed away for good. It was hard to tell with her.

I felt her start to pull away, and without thinking, kissed the top of her head as she did. She paused at the contact, but then stood. I immediately felt her absence like a missing piece of myself. Rankor whined in my mind, urging me to pull her back, but I resisted.

“I’m sure you’re getting tired of being naked,” she said. “I’m going to grab you some clothes.”

I smirked.

Or you’re tired of me being naked, I thought but kept it to myself.

“Fine,” I said.

I leaned my head back when I heard her retreat upstairs. The pain in my feet had somewhat dulled before the confrontation with the beta. Now, it felt like someone was driving stakes through my heels.

Although food and water had helped with the dizziness, I had a headache that pounded behind my temples. That ailment had been present for a couple months at this point, unrelated to my current injuries.

When I heard Sam pad back into the room, I opened my eyes to find her holding a pair of gym shorts and a shirt. I grabbed them from her and went to stand. She quickly turned around.

“Umm, I’ll give you some privacy,” she said, hurriedly, before heading off to the kitchen.

I chuckled to myself.

“You saw me naked earlier,” I called out to her.

“Uh, yeah. I guess so,” she sounded so awkward. It was endearing.

The shirt was a little snug but overall the fit was fine. Although I was initially jealous at the thought of her having another man’s clothes, I couldn’t place a distinct scent so if they did belong to someone else, they hadn’t worn them in a while.

Still, I asked, “Whose clothes are these?”

“Luke’s,” she said, simply.

His scent and hers were so intertwined in the house, I hadn’t immediately recognized it on the clothing - another sign of my weakening abilities.

“Your sixteen year old son has clothes that fit me, and you’re worried about him being the alpha?” I asked, incredulous.

“What do you mean?” she asked, walking back into the room.

“Sam, very few werewolves could lend me clothes,” I explained, surprised she wasn’t catching on.

“I guess he’s pretty big for his age,” she shrugged. “I mean you saw him this morning when Emerick picked him up for school, right?”

I thought back, but I had been so out of my mind with exhaustion that I barely remembered seeing Sam’s pup. My only poignant memory from that interaction was Emerick Stone’s hands on my mate.

“I don’t recall,” I said. “My memory is a little cloudy after so many days on the run.”

“Right,” she said, suspiciously.

“Regardless,” I continued, “It seems the pup should be able to hold his own as alpha, and he will only get stronger.”

She scoffed, “Just because he can physically defend himself does not mean he is ready to lead a pack.”

“I became the alpha of my pack at sixteen,” I pointed out.

“And you were ready for that responsibility?” she questioned.

I paused. The truth was, I hadn’t been, but circumstances being what they were had left me little choice. I grew up fast and led my people with strength because I needed to.

Sam took my silence as a concession.

“Exactly,” she muttered.

“I was completely alone,” I argued. “Luke has two former alphas to guide him, and his mother will be the queen. No one is going to challenge him.”

She sighed, “It’s not about someone challenging him, Ivar. He deserves to live a normal life before he serves as the pack’s leader. He needs time to figure out who he is. Maybe, I dunno, graduate highschool? The world has become a lot more complicated since your time as an alpha.”

I couldn’t argue with that. Werewolves and other supernatural creatures were facing new challenges every day. In my many years, I had watched the world change dramatically, but in the last century we had especially struggled in completely uncharted waters.

Where before we mostly hid our existence from humans out of convenience, now it had become more of a necessity. I was forced to build strong relationships with world leaders, threaten those who spoke out, even make questionable trades in order to keep our secrets. A werewolf was undoubtedly stronger than any human, but they vastly outnumbered us. Now, they had weapons that ensured any battle would be bloody for both sides.

“You won’t be able to protect him forever,” I continued my protest, but I could sense I was on the losing side.

“No,” she conceded, shaking her head. “But I can protect him for now.”

I stayed quiet as I had run out of arguing points. I admired my mate’s dedication to her son and I understood her wanting to keep him safe. The problem was her doing so meant she was unavailable to me, and I was suffering physically because of it. To the point that I had lost control of my wolf for days on end. The entire supernatural world could fall without me at the helm to protect them, and as of yet, there was no replacement.

“You said before you didn’t stay because I didn’t ask you to,” she said, pulling me from my thoughts. “What if I were to ask you now?”

I shook my head, “How would that look? Me bending to a mere alpha? A she-wolf nonetheless?”

“You care more about perception than about having me as your mate?” she asked.

I was taken aback by her question. She sounded genuinely curious rather than accusatory. It made me reflect on my choice of words.

Sam must have taken my silence as an affirmative because she sighed before saying, “Fine. If you won’t go to the pack house for help, then please let me call the doctor here. Above all else, I know she can be trusted. She kept my injuries after I was challenged a secret, and she values her professional discretion.”

I wanted to address our previous discussion, but I could tell Sam didn’t want to argue anymore.

“If it will make you feel better, then call her,” I muttered. “You and I both know there’s nothing she can do to speed up this process.”

Only mating her could. I left that part unsaid.

Mating Samantha was the only thing that would ease the pain I was feeling. The injuries I sustained getting here were only a fraction of the problem. Fate was pulling us together and resisting our connection was taking a heavy toll on me.

“Do you not suffer from the incomplete mating bond?” I asked her.

“In what way?” she asked as she scrolled through her phone.

“I mean physically,” I clarified. “I get headaches, chest pain, I don’t heal. Does none of that affect you?”

“It does,” she said, shifting her gaze from her phone to me. “It’s what having a broken heart feels like.”

I stared at her.

“It must not be affecting you as much as it is me,” I told her.

“I doubt that,” she muttered, appearing to find the contact she was looking for.

“I can barely get through the day. You seem to be doing fine.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you before, I can’t wallow. I’ve been through heartbreaking grief before. It hurts, but I learned to live with it. I’m doing that again.”

“I’ve experienced loss,” I said, quietly.

Her eyes softened.

“I’m sure you have,” she agreed. “Losing a lover is different. Apparently, even one you barely know.”

I grunted but didn’t say anything more. I refused to believe that my mate could be handling the same level of pain I was and seem altogether unfazed.

I vaguely heard Sam call someone named Dr. Martin as I leaned back against the couch. I didn’t remember closing my eyes, but I woke up slightly when I felt a blanket settle over me. Without thinking, I caught Sam’s hand in mine as she was turning away.

I expected her to pull from my grasp. Instead, she gave my hand a squeeze in return and I felt her weight sink into the couch beside me. After a moment, her fingers started to comb through my hair. Tingles erupted from her every touch.

I hummed my satisfaction before unconsciousness claimed me once again.

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