The Sentinel of Cassendar: Resquarian
Chapter 5

Leal woke up in a mild panic as Dracia was not in the bed next to him. He sat up quickly, trying to rid his head of the horrible dreams that had plagued him all night. He looked around the room, his heart racing, until he spotted her coming out of the bathing area, wearing a red gown, her hands at her chest, buttoning up the front.

Leal rubbed his eyes and looked at the faint light coming in the window. “What time is it?” he asked looking over at her.

“About a quarter past the seventh bell,” said Dracia as she walked towards him.

“Why are you already dressed? How long have you been up?” asked Leal putting his feet over the edge of the bed and standing up.

“I woke up quite early, and could not go back to sleep. I didn’t want to disturb you, so I spent some time by the fireplace thinking over some things. Not long ago, I decided to find a dress I could manage myself so I could take a walk around the palace.”

“Would you mind if I came with you?” asked Leal. “I can dress quickly.”

“I would be happy to walk with you. I am always happy to spend time with you,” said Dracia with a smile.

Leal pulled on a simple shirt and pants before pulling on his boots. He took a few moments, to run his hand through his hair, making his sandy blonde waves look somewhat presentable.

“Will that do, do you think?” asked Leal as he turned from the mirror to look at Dracia.

“You always look handsome no matter what clothes you wear or what state your hair is in,” said Dracia coming close to him. “It makes me wonder if perhaps there is something I would rather do than take a walk this morning.”

“You seem to be feeling better about things,” said Leal as he put his arms around her.

“I am tired of thinking about it all. What can I really do about it? I would appreciate a distraction,” said Dracia as she leaned up and kissed him.

“I would love to be your distraction, dearest, but I am not sure that is the best thing for you. Why don’t we go for that walk, and you can talk to me about how you are feeling? Later today you can speak with Lady Elise, and if you would like, your mother and father.”

Dracia sighed and let go of Leal. “I suppose you are right,” she said begrudgingly.

Leal took her hand and pulled her back close to him. “I will provide that distraction for you later today if you are still feeling well enough.”

“I will be,” said Dracia. “I am feeling much stronger today. I hope to be able to go for a ride in a couple of days.”

“Let’s start with a walk this morning,” said Leal as he took her hand and put it on his arm. He led her to the door, and they walked out into the hallway.

They walked slowly together down the hallway towards the front of the palace. At first, they walked in companionable silence, Leal just enjoying having her on his arm, and being able to look at her. She was so lovely, and he never got tired of looking at her. Her color was better today than it had been in a while. The cool air of the hallways had made her cheeks slightly rosy, and her eyes were bright once again.

“So, how are you really feeling about all we learned last night?” asked Leal.

“I’m rather embarrassed, actually,” said Dracia as she looked up at a portrait of a severe looking man with dark hair and heavy eyebrows.

“Why are you embarrassed?” asked Leal.

“The way I acted was inexcusable. I ran like some scared child instead of staying in the room and talking over things like an adult,” said Dracia as she shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment.

“No one can fault how your reacted. How do you even react to something like what was said last night? You also have been ill, and I am sure you were exhausted. You have no reason to be embarrassed.”

“I am though, and I am determined to do better today. I will talk with Lady Elsie, and then find my parents. Whatever happened in the past cannot be changed, so we must face the future together somehow,” said Dracia.

Leal stopped her and pulled her closer to the wall. He took both of her hands so she would face him. “Dracia, what you learned yesterday would overwhelm anyone. I know you must be hurt, confused, and angry in some ways. It is alright to feel all of those things.”

“What good will it do to dwell on any of it? I cannot change it. I have to be strong, and move on. We don’t have time to for such things, not with what is happening to our kingdom.”

“There is time for you to process this and work towards saving our kingdom. You need to be honest with how you are feeling. Don’t just push this side,” said Leal.

Dracia looked down at their hands and took a deep breath. “I just don’t know how to feel about it all. I really don’t.”

“That is okay too, for now, but don’t think you have to keep any feelings that do come up to yourself, at least don’t keep them from me. I want to help you work through them. I may not always understand how you are feeling, but I will listen,” said Leal.

“And provide a distraction or two when I need it?” asked Dracia as she looked up at him.

“I will always be happy to entertain you when you need it” said Leal with a smile.

They went back to walking. Leal talked to Dracia of what she had missed the past few days as she rested. He talked to her of his meetings with Ethen as they had discussed what might be happening in Navalian and Lanoxan.

“The Navalians will probably realize we are not dead at some point, more than likely soon,” said Dracia. “They will look for our bodies, and realize they are not there.”

Leal nodded. “We will let them think we are dead for a while longer, as it could take them some time to get through all the snow to know for sure. Soon, we will let our kingdom know we are all very much alive and ready to take on Navalia to keep Lanoxan safe.”

“Is Siccaria prepared to fight with us?” asked Dracia.

“I believe they are, especially since our soon to be queen is one of them,” said Leal looking down at her.

“But they hardly know me, Leal. They have been very kind to me, but in the end, I am almost a stranger who grew up in Lanoxan. Will they really put their forces and themselves in danger for our kingdom?”

“I believe they will. Ethen talks as if they will as well. We will find out soon enough. We have other allies out in the land we should contact at some point. My mother’s homeland is known for their fighters.”

“I think there have been rebellions in Parvail since they have been taken over by Navalia. There may be some there who will join with us to gain their freedom,” said Dracia.

“We will find a time to meet with Ethen and his father soon,” said Leal. “You can also hopefully find a way to contact the Sentinel and let them know what is coming. We will need as many of your Elites as we can get to help us fight.”

“Most of them will fight for the kingdom and the Cassendars. They will keep the oaths they have made. There are a few, I fear, who will side with Darron.”

“We have you, of course,” said Leal. “As much as I hate you fighting, I believe you are worth a good sized battalion of soldiers.”

Dracia smiled slightly before looking down again.

“What is it?” asked Leal. “Did I say something wrong?”

Dracia shook her head. “I was just thinking of something Lexine was talking to me about yesterday. She had an idea of how I could best serve the kingdom.”

“What did my sister have to say?” asked Leal.

Dracia looked behind them and then at Leal as she slowed down their pace. “She said the best way I could serve the kingdom would be to make sure I carried your heir,” said Dracia. Leal thought she might have blushed, but it was hard to tell with her cheeks already red from the cool air.

“Oh,” said Leal taking a moment to understand her meaning. “You mean as in you becoming with child now.”

Dracia nodded. “I know it was a silly idea. We are in no place to think about children at the moment, and I can do much more for the kingdom as a fighter. If something did happen to me, you could marry another or Lexine could carry on the Cassendar line.”

Leal barely heard what she was saying. He was too busy in his own head, thinking of Dracia carrying his child. He smiled slightly thinking of having a child with her. He wished he or she could have dark hair and bright brown eyes like Dracia, but all Cassendar children seemed to be born with the same sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes. Still, if it was a girl, she could have Dracia’s perfect full lips, or if it was a boy, perhaps he would inherit the shape of her lovely eyes. He hoped their child would have her wonderful mind instead of his rather dull one.

“Leal, you don’t need to worry about it. I know it is impossible at the moment. I was merely letting you know what Lexine was thinking,” said Dracia worriedly. “I didn’t mean to scare you or put any pressure on us.”

“What?” asked Leal shaking his head. He stopped walking and looked at Dracia to find her seemingly very anxious. “Dracia, there is not much in this world I would like more than to have a child with you, more than one perhaps. It is one of if not my greatest wish.”

Dracia smiled. “It would make me very happy as well,” she said softly as they started walking again. “But you must admit it cannot possibly be the right time. We are practically in a war, and I will be needed to fight and lead our forces. If I am with child, I would have to stay behind in Siccaria.”

Dracia staying behind safe in Siccaria would actually please Leal very much, but he knew his wife well. She would want to fight, and to be honest, they would stand a much better chance with her leading the Sentinel. Still, to secure the line was very important and practical.

“I do understand that it would be a difficult time, but I am not sure we should dismiss it. Perhaps we could talk about it again in a few days. I want you to understand you are the only woman who could possibly carry my children. I will never love another, Dracia. I could not do it.”

“You say that now, and I believe you mean it, but if something awful did happen and you had to go on without me, I think you would find you could find some form of happiness with another.”

“You believe that for yourself as well?” asked Leal.

“I would, like you, say no at this point, but others before us have done it. My parents may not be the best example, but they have said multiple times they are not miserable, and they have two fine sons,” said Dracia.

“I don’t wish to speak of this because it will never come to it. Now that I know what it is to live with you as your husband, I will see that you are by my side for many years to come, and in the life after as well,” said Leal pulling her closer to his side.

They walked down another hallway and turned a corner to walk in a direction Leal believed would lead them eventually back to their room. As they rounded the next corner, they found themselves being met by Lady Elise.

“Good morning, Dracia, my dear, and you as well, your highness,” said the old woman with a slight bow. “I went to your room to check on you, and your attendant said you were both out. I had a wild thought that perhaps you had fled the palace, but I am glad to see that is not the case.”

“No, my lady,” said Dracia. “I would like to apologize for my actions last night. That is not how I like to conduct myself. I offer no excuses except that I wasn’t sure how to feel and very tired.”

“You do not need to give me any apologies. You are the one wronged in all of this. You were kept so long from your family. I should have known where Ava fled when she left. She had always been hung up on your father. I thought when he married, she would let her fascination go, but I underestimated the strength of her attachment. I should have gone straight to your father when she turned up missing, or at least after I learned of her death. I would have known immediately you were my granddaughter, and I would have brought you here to make sure you were raised in happier circumstances.”

“I wasn’t miserable in Winsdell, my lady,” said Dracia. “My father did take excellent care of me.”

“What of his wife? I have heard of how she treated you in your home. Your father should have protected you better,” said Lady Elise as she tapped her walking cane.

“She was harsh much of my life, but she also taught me some very important lessons that have helped me become who I am. I would have liked to have known you, and Ethen, and Lord Quain as well, but I cannot regret my life thus far, not when it has brought me at least one thing that gives me great happiness,” said Dracia as she turned and looked at Leal.

“Yes, you do seem very happy with your prince who will soon be king from what I understand,” said Lady Elise with a sigh. “Will you both eat breakfast with me in the small dining parlor? I can send word to have your food brought back to the kitchens. I would appreciate a little of your time today, Dracia. Your prince is welcomed to tag alone. I should get to him better as well. He has married you, so he is a part of our family as well as you.”

“I believe we would enjoy spending the morning with you, my lady,” said Dracia as Leal nodded.

“Good,” said Lady Elise as she took Dracia’s arm and started walking, Leal following behind. “The first thing I will ask of you is to stop referring to me as my lady. I am your grandmother, and you will address me as such.”

“I will try if it pleases you,” said Dracia. “It will take some getting used to.”

“You won’t get used to it, unless you actually do it,” said Lady Elise as she turned and smiled at Dracia.

They all three ate breakfast together in a pleasant room with a modest dining table. Lady Elsie told stories of her daughter, Dracia’s true mother, as they ate. Dracia smiled and laughed slightly at the right moments as Leal watched her closely. He knew she was more overwhelmed and affected by all this new information than she let on. He knew she liked to appear strong, and she was, but he knew she would break down again at some point.

After breakfast, Lady Elise took them on a proper tour of the palace. She showed them the grand banquet hall, and a cozy parlor that was Lady Ava’s favorite place in the palace. She took them through a large ball room, and then to the throne room. It was a huge room with stone floors and a high ceiling. At the end of the room was a large dais with several large thrones in a semi-circle that spanned the width of the platform. All along the walls were portraits of men and women wearing red gowns and tunics with long golden robes. On the heads of the men were golden crowns, and the women all wore bejeweled tiaras in their dark hair.

Lady Elise walked up to one large portrait and gazed at it. Leal looked over the portrait and knew immediately why she had brought Dracia to this one picture. It had to be Lady Ava. The beautiful women in the painting looked so much like Dracia, it made Leal stare and smile. She had the same dark wavy hair cascading down her shoulders as Dracia, and the same bright brown eyes. As beautiful as the woman in the portrait was, Leal though Dracia was even more lovely. Dracia had a fuller mouth she had gotten from her father, and there was something about the shape of her jawline that was softer than Lady Ava’s.

“This is your mother, Dracia, your true mother,” said Lady Elise.

“She was very beautiful,” said Dracia looking up at the portrait.

“She was,” said Lady Elise. “You look very much like her, you must see it.”

“I have her eyes,” said Dracia.

“You do, and her nose, and more importantly her spirit and intelligence,” said Lady Elise. “When I first met you last summer, I felt as though I were speaking with my long lost daughter. It didn’t take me very long to figure out what must have happened. I confronted your father, and he told me the truth. I wanted to tell you immediately, but he was afraid you would be in danger with the Navalians so close. He promised to bring you to me eventually so we could all tell you the truth.

“Then you were severely injured, and we almost lost you. I should have taken you to Siccaria then, but Ethen talked me out of it. He said you would not want to leave your prince. I suppose he was right, but it was very hard to leave you, my dear. Then to know you were in danger in Navalia. I wanted to beg Ethen to go help you, but I could not. The dear boy and Maia volunteered to go without me asking. I hated to put them both in danger, but the thought of losing you was too much to bear.”

“I don’t know what to say,” said Dracia as she continued to look at the painting.

“You don’t have to say anything, Dracia. You are here now, and you are safe. I know it is only temporary as you will want to ride out to save your husband’s kingdom, but at least now you know the truth.”

“It is my kingdom as well,” said Dracia as she turned to look at Lady Elise. “I am very happy to be here in Siccaria, and to have time to get to know you, but Lanoxan is my home. I married Leal knowing what my responsibility to it would be one day, and that day is coming very soon. I shall be his queen, and I am also still the High Captain of the Sentinel. I will see to the safety of my people and secure my kingdom.”

“I know. There are many things we need to speak of in regard to you being a Cassendar and a High Noble of Siccaria, but I would never ask you to give up your prince or your kingdom. I hope you will remember you are one of us as well. You will always have a place in Siccaria, and we will stand by your kingdom in your time of need. I have already talked to my son about it, and he agrees. I am sure Ethen will as well. When you go to Lanoxan to save your kingdom from the Navalians, Siccaria will be with you.”

After their morning with Lady Elise, Dracia wished for some time with her Elites. Leal left her with Roderick and Galen to have lunch with the Elites as he went to the dining hall where lunch was usually served. He walked in to find his parents already at the table, having fixed their plate from the sideboard that was full of different dishes. After making his own plate, Leal sat down next to his mother.

“Where is Dracia?” asked his mother as Leal took his seat.

“She wished to eat lunch with her Elites, so she could speak with them. She has not had time to talk with them since we left Navalia. They lost one of their own, and she is upset she could not be there for the official farewell.”

“She is a very dedicated, High Captain,” said the king, looking up at Leal. “And she will be a good queen to the kingdom.”

“She will be a marvelous queen,” said Leal more heatedly than he meant to. “I always told you she would.”

His father nodded. “There are so many things I have done wrong, Leal. Some of them I don’t remember, but I never should have kept you away from her. I was obsessed with that curse even before that oracle came to see me. She only preyed on the fears I already had for my kingdom and my wife. I know my apology doesn’t take away the years of pain you and Dracia both endured, but I am sorry for what I have done.”

Leal took a moment to eat a bite of his food and take a drink of wine before he said anything. “It is not as if I don’t want to forgive you, father. I am just having a hard time doing it. I have had to watch her suffer so much to the point she almost died, and then hide who she really was to me. I could not comfort her as I wished. I was forced to give attentions to some evil woman to please you all while Dracia had to watch. I could list a hundred other ways you hurt her, not to mention you threatened her life more than once.”

Leal’s father just looked at the table as Leal’s mother took his hand. “He knows you are upset with him, and he understands it, but he is still your father, Leal. You cannot hold anger against him forever.”

“What about what he has done to you, mother? He let you be kept at the summer palace, medicated and away from your family. He entertained multiple women while you were gone as well.”

“I know it all, Leal. He has told me about everything, and I don’t believe he can be held responsible for some of it. I was and am still upset by what he has done, but I cannot hold it all against him forever. It would not be good for him or me. He is my husband, and while he may have broken his promises to me, I will not break mine to him. We have begun anew, and in time I believe we will find our way again,” said his mother.

Leal shook his head as Lord Ethen and his wife walked in, grabbing their own plates, and coming to sit at the table.

“How is the High Captain today, your highness?” asked Lord Ethen as he and his wife sat down. Leal looked over Ethen to see Dracia’s parents come in the room as well.

“She is as well as can be expected after a night like last night,” said Leal. “She had a good talk with your grandmother this morning, and right now she is visiting with her Elites.”

Ethen nodded before he started eating.

“I was hoping she might hand off her duties as High Captain to another,” said Lord Arwel as he turned from the sideboard to look at Leal. “As your wife and our soon to be queen, she will have much to do without having to worry about the Sentinel. Not to mention it puts her in unnecessary danger.”

“Dracia will serve as she sees fit for as long as she thinks is necessary. I will not force her to give up anything she feels she needs to do,” said Leal as he stared at Lord Arwel.

Lord Arwel finished putting food on his plate and sat down at the table with his wife next to him. “Dracia has always put too much on herself. As her husband and king, you should demand that she step down as High Captain.”

“I would never demand anything of her,” said Leal angrily. “She will always be allowed to make her own decisions.”

“Even to the detriment of herself?” asked Lord Arwel. “I would hope as her husband you would do a better job of taking care of your wife. I would hope that I was passing off her care to one who would actually see to her safety and well-being, not that I was ever asked an opinion on the matter, seeing that your courted and then married my daughter without ever consulting me.”

“We were both of age, and didn’t need your permission. Perhaps you should ask yourself why your daughter didn’t trust you enough to tell you of our love. Seeing how things really were, I think it shows her an excellent judge of character,” said Leal with an angry huff.

“Everything I did, I did it to keep her safe. She is the most important person to me in this world, and has been since she was born,” said Lord Arwel as he put his hand down loudly on the table.

“That is easy to say now” said Lord Ethen as he picked up his glass of wine. “But I think it is safe to say you made several bad decisions, many of them for selfish reasons.”

“I beg your pardon, my lord, but I don’t believe you have a place in this conversation,” said Lord Arwel.

“You are speaking of my cousin and her well-being. I do not have a large family, Lord Arwel, and I treasure each of them, especially your daughter, as she was kept from us for so long,” said Lord Ethen forcefully.

Lord Arwel looked at Ethen before glancing back at Leal. “Will you really allow my daughter to keep serving as the High Captain of the Sentinel?”

“She will continue to serve as she believes is necessary. I will give her my advice and my support, and that is all. In case you haven’t notice, the kingdom is in the middle of a crisis. What would you have her do? You should know your daughter would not abandon her kingdom or her fellow Elites at such a time; it is not who she is,” said Leal as he pushed his plate away.

Lord Arwel looked to speak before Lady Owena grabbed his hand. “You should not argue with the prince, dear. He is Dracia’s husband now, and together they need to decide their own lives. He is also right about our daughter, and you know it,” said Lady Owena as she looked around the table. “She is still my daughter, and I would like everyone to know it. I have not always treated her as I should have, but I do care for her, and want to see her succeed.”

Leal stood up, he was very done with all the conversations he had been forced to have in this room.

“Where are you going, Leal? You have barely eaten,” said his mother as Leal walked from the table

“I find that I am not hungry, mother,” said Leal as he came to the door of the room. He stopped and looked over at the table. “I hope you all will understand what Dracia has been through not only this past week, but for years. This fall and winter have been very hard on her. She is strong, and I have no doubt she will get through it all, but it will take time. I ask you all not to pressure her into any conversations she is not ready to have, or try to pressure her into giving up or doing anything she is not ready for.

“As king I will take my responsibilities to my people and my kingdom very seriously, but nothing will ever come before my queen. I will see her and any future family we may have safe from all outside influences, including the ones in this room.”

Leal walked out into the hall, not waiting to hear any responses from anyone in the room. He almost ran directly into Lord Quain and Lady Elise who looked to be about to enter the dinning room.

“I beg your pardon, my lord, my lady,” said Leal as he moved aside.

“You do not need to beg anything of me as long as you take care of my granddaughter as you just promised, your highness,” said Lady Elise with a smile.

“I meant every word I just said,” said Leal solemnly.

Lady Elise responded by patting him on the arm as Lord Quain gave him a bow before they both entered the dining parlor. Leal walked away down the hall, half curious as to how the conversations would go in that room now that Lady Elise was present. He was not curious enough to turn around. He walked the halls for some time, hoping he might come across Dracia as she made her way back to their room after eating with her Elites. There was nothing or no one he wanted to see until he could spend time with her. He was done with any responsibilities he may have for the day.

He finally gave up finding her and walked back to their room to wait for her. He walked into the room to find her standing by the fireplace speaking with Malven.

“Malven, you should go. Anything you have to tell me can wait until much later,” said Leal as he walked to Dracia.

“Of course, your highness,” said Malven with unusual deference. He must have sensed something in his prince’s tone or manners because he walked quickly from the room.

Leal grabbed Dracia and kissed her fiercely. She made a surprised noise before leaning into him and their kiss.

“Are you well, my love?” she asked breathlessly as they finally broke apart.

“No, not really, but I am feeling better being here with you,” he said as he leaned forward to kiss her again, his hands going to the front buttons on her dress.

“It seems you are the one who needs a distraction at the moment,” said Dracia with a smile as Leal undid her buttons, dropping a kiss on her collar bone.

“No, you are not a distraction, Dracia,” he said as he led her to their bed. “Everything and everyone else are the true distractions. The only thing that really matters is you.”

He kissed her, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before he worked on undoing his own shirt.

“Your kingdom matters, your highness, our kingdom,” said Dracia as Leal moved over her.

“I will save our kingdom, but only so you and hopefully our children one day have a safe place to live and rule. I mean it, Dracia. Nothing will ever come before you,” said Leal. He kissed her and loved her with the intent of trying to prove to her that he did mean every promise he had made her.

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