It didn’t take long for Mel to find an outfit he liked, which were dark blue jeans, red and white sneakers, a gray t-shirt, and a blue and red plaid shirt. What he didn’t like were the prices.

Even now, on their way back to Enbrant—they’d gone to a different city because Kaleth had said he didn’t want to deal with the press—Mel couldn’t help but feel bad about how much Kaleth had spent for the clothes. Even just the shirt cost more than Mel had ever had at once.

Kaleth had insisted that he had more than enough money, and that he wouldn’t let Mel buy subpar clothes, but this still seemed like too much. And to make matters worse, Kaleth didn’t seem to like what Mel had chosen. He hadn’t said anything yet, but Mel could tell he wasn’t happy.

Actually, that wasn’t the biggest issue Mel was currently pondering. He’d thought his and Kaleth’s relationship would change after the kiss, but so far it hadn’t. Nothing that was all that couple-y had happened in the last two hours, and it was very disappointing.

Mel was incredibly afraid of even approaching the subject, though. He didn’t want to make things between them awkward, but the fact that he had no idea what Kaleth’s point of view on the subject matter was was really frustrating. Mel wished he knew if Kaleth’s issue with showing affection was just because they’d been around many other people, or if it were something else.

Mel’s eyes widened as he realized how to find an answer to that question. They were alone in a car, and Kaleth was currently talking to Yris on the phone. He didn’t seem to be very happy about whatever they were talking about, but Mel wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation.

He was looking at Kaleth’s other hand, which was in between the front seat, the fingers tapping out a rhythm Mel didn’t know. All Mel had to do was touch it and see how Kaleth reacted. If he didn’t pull the hand away, this was all definitely just Kaleth’s inability to do these things in public. If he did, it was probably Mel’s fault somehow.

Feeling his heart hammer in his chest almost painfully, Mel reached out with his hand slowly and gently placed it over Kaleth’s. The man didn’t react for a second except for tensing up, but he almost immediately relaxed and turned his hand over, interlocking his fingers with Mel’s.

Mel’s face broke into a wide, ecstatic smile, which Kaleth answered with a smaller one. Unfortunately, the smile didn’t stay for long.

“Hidarion is there with you?” Kaleth asked into the phone, squeezing Mel’s hand more tightly to indicate that he wasn’t ignoring him. At least, that was what Mel assumed it meant. Either way, it made him very happy. Kaleth’s hand was surprisingly soft for someone who fought for a living, but Mel supposed it made sense since until now, Kaleth had been using guns, not swords.

“Irif did what?” Kaleth suddenly exclaimed, and Mel gave him a look of concern. He hadn’t seen him this angry in a while. Although, Kaleth was still more prone to anger than before. That had been very disappointing to realize. Mel had really thought it was all an act to fool others into thinking Relioth was controlling him, but it hadn’t. Kaleth’s new power was what had made him angrier and more violent, not Relioth.

“And they’re okay with that?” Kaleth continued after a moment, having calmed down a little. Curious, Mel started focusing fully on the conversation. His hearing was good enough to hear Yris as well, but he hadn’t been paying attention to him so far.

“Yes, they both are happy to help. I’m just not sure they’ll be ready for battle once you get here. The princess in particular doesn’t seem all that in control of the power. Sylari keeps giving them more of it, though, anyway. We’ve never worked with a member of the royal family. It’s amazing how much energy they can absorb,” Yris said, sounding like he was trying very hard to not seem worried.

Mel’s eyes widened at the new information. So, Nira was okay. That was great. However, the fact that Nira was absorbing Eternal energy? That didn’t sound safe.

“I see. And this is safe?” Kaleth voiced Mel’s thoughts, narrowing his eyes even though Yris obviously couldn’t see him.

“Funny how you didn’t care about that before I mentioned the king and princess were here,” Yris said teasingly, but Kaleth’s glare just gained more intensity.

“Just tell Sylari that if this goes wrong, she’ll have more to deal with than just Irif.”

Despite that rather scary tone Kaleth had used, he started stroking his thumb over the back of Mel’s hand gently.

“I’ll relay your message,” Yris deadpanned. He apparently wasn’t taking Kaleth’s threat seriously. Mel had no idea why, though. It had been pretty frightening.

“Keep doing what you are doing. We’ll be there in about two days.”

Yris laughed nervously. “Uh, you do know that after that coup you pulled—”

“It wasn’t a coup,” Kaleth said with annoyance.

“—Irif moved about half of her forces to the border. I think it will take you more than just two days to get here because flying directly through that is suicide.”

“I am indeed aware of that, and I know how to overcome it. Is there anything else you want to discuss?”

“I don’t think so?”

“Good,” Kaleth muttered and hung up the call. He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. His grip on Mel’s was still as strong as ever, though, which assured Mel that Kaleth didn’t want to let go.

“Are you okay?” Mel asked, and Kaleth sighed.

“Yes. It’s just tiring, dealing with this whole situation,” Kaleth replied and shook his head. “Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to listen to me complain.”

“No, I like listening to you. You have a really nice voice,” Mel said, beaming at Kaleth, who ducked his head a little as his face went red. He was smiling though, so he clearly liked the compliment. “Besides, telling someone about your problems is good for you.”

“I suppose,” Kaleth muttered, looking at their still interwoven fingers. “Please don’t tell this to anyone, but…I actually miss being under Relioth’s control a little.”

Mel almost gasped as he stared at Kaleth with horror. How could he say something like this?

“I may have chosen my words poorly,” Kaleth commented when he saw Mel’s expression. “I, of course, don’t miss my free will being taken away, but it was all so simple, even if it lasted for only a couple days. I had one goal in mind, and I only cared about achieving it, no matter who it could hurt. I didn’t care about anyone else but myself, and the mission.”

“And now you do care,” Mel finished for him, squeezing his hand. While Mel doubted he could ever fully understand what Kaleth had just told him, he did understand it enough. Not caring about others would probably make life simpler, but without caring about someone else, was life even worth living? To Mel it certainly wasn’t.

“Yes, now I do, even though I tried for most of my adult life not to.”

“What do you mean? Why would you try to not care?”

“Caring makes everything so much more complicated,” Kaleth said, looking sad enough to make Mel’s heart hurt. “After Teran broke up with me, I told myself I wouldn’t let anyone get close to me again. But people like you and Rayni always find a way in, anyway.”

Even though Kaleth didn’t seem to mean it in a flattering way, Mel took the comment as such.

“What happened?” Mel asked after a few seconds of silence. “Between you and Teran, I mean.”

“Oh, he found out what I did for a living,” Kaleth replied easily, but a scowl made itself present on his face. “Which was fair enough—who would want to be in a relationship with a murderer?”

Mel wanted to protest at the use of that word, but Kaleth didn’t give him enough space to do so.

“Then a few years later, I found out he had been cheating on me at the time with the woman who he’s been married to for a decade now. He just used my job as a way to hide his infidelity and put the blame for our failed relationship solely on me.”

Mel wasn’t sure what to say, but his heart was breaking for Kaleth. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. He tried apologizing countless times, but I never forgave him. Until a few weeks ago,” Kaleth replied, smiling at Mel. “I guess I finally got over it. But that’s not what I meant when I said I missed not caring.”

“Oh?”

“If I didn’t care about anything other than killing Irif, I wouldn’t be worried about you, or Rayni, or anyone else. I wouldn’t care how many Iritharians or Eternals will die because of the attack. I wouldn’t care that Hidarion is injecting himself with Eternal energy. I wouldn’t be here, pretending not to be scared of going to Irithara, even though I am. And I’m not even scared for myself, no, I’m terrified of the possibility that you could die there, that all of you could. Or that one the Eternals that helped me get rid of Relioth will stab me in the back and use you against me.”

Mel wasn’t sure if he’d ever heard Kaleth be this emotional, but it was making his eyes sting. The man had been dealing with so much stress all this time, and Mel hadn’t even known. Kaleth never let his fear show, and Mel knew how much it most likely took for Kaleth to admit he was afraid.

“Gods, I need a drink,” Kaleth groaned, and Mel sighed. Sadly, this was much more in Kaleth’s character. As Kaleth opened the car’s glove compartment, Mel was about to tell him that there was no way there was alcohol in here, but he was proven wrong a second later when Kaleth pulled out a bottle of… actually Mel wasn’t sure, but it was clear and it definitely wasn’t water.

Mel grudgingly let go of Kaleth’s hand because he needed both of them to open the bottle and watched with disapproval and then shock as Kaleth proceeded to take a drink directly from it.

“A-aren’t you supposed to drink this stuff from those small glasses?” Mel asked as Kaleth pulled a face, and then chuckled when he looked over at Mel.

“This is just pure alcohol, which would probably kill me under normal circumstances, but my tolerance is too high at this point, so this is the only thing that works anymore. It’s revolting, though.”

“That, um, doesn’t really answer my question,” Mel said, now even more concerned about Kaleth’s wellbeing.

“Are you worried about me?” Kaleth asked, almost teasingly, as he put the bottle back into the glove compartment, which only made Mel’s concern grow.

“Yes, constantly,” Mel replied seriously as Kaleth’s smile fell. “First, I was worried about you because I thought Relioth was controlling you, and now you’re going to invade Irithara to face the second most powerful Eternal in existence. How can I not be worried about you?”

“If Rayni convinces the Umbra to join me, I’ll have around a hundred and fifty Eternals on my side. I don’t doubt that we’ll win.”

“That doesn’t mean you’ll survive this,” Mel argued, frowning at Kaleth’s infuriating ability to always only see the bigger picture. But maybe he could use it against him. “You told me how this is supposed to go, but what happens if you die?”

Just the idea by itself was making Mel nauseous, but it seemed to work because Kaleth was now looking out the window with a displeased look on his face.

“You’re right, but we don’t have a choice. Irif will be able to make her own Eternals soon, and then it will be too late to attack. The trip itself will take at least three days, and that’s assuming we won’t run into any problems on the way to Aleara. Irif will no doubt try her hardest to destroy us before we make it there, so we can either use the remaining parts of the Agryan subway system and make the trip three times as long, or fly directly to Aleara and lose soldiers.”

Kaleth rubbed the bridge of his nose. “There’s so much I still haven’t figured out, and I only have two days to do so.”

Mel looked down as he fidgeted with the sleeve of his new shirt. Kaleth didn’t have any time to waste, and here Mel was, taking up his limited time with something as unimportant as buying clothes.

“Time spent with you is never wasted, love” Kaleth told him, and Mel felt his cheeks heat up and his heart flutter. He’d almost forgotten Kaleth could catch snippets of his thoughts as well. Mel smiled at him, mostly because of the pet name, because he didn’t really agree with the rest.

Kaleth was now flustered again, and Mel realized that seeing him like this was actually pretty cute. He was always so confident and strong in public, so seeing him be the opposite was a really interesting contrast.

Why did I let that slip out? I need to stop drinking around Mel, Mel heard Kaleth complain in his mind.

“No, no, I like the nickname,” Mel assured him, smiling widely at Kaleth, who at least looked slightly less embarrassed now. “I, um, wouldn’t mind if you called me that.”

Kaleth chuckled softly. “Okay, then…love.”

Mel grinned, especially once Kaleth connected their hands again. Now he couldn’t help but wonder if he could give Kaleth a pet name as well. And which one it should be.

When they got back to the Citadel, they met up once again with Rayni, who didn’t look very happy.

“The Umbra aren’t coming,” she told Kaleth. Mel stared at her with his mouth open for a few seconds, having trouble believing it. The other Umbra weren’t going to help them? But how were they supposed to manage without them?

“Wonderful,” Kaleth deadpanned. “Since when do they choose what they do and not do?”

Mel now gaped at Kaleth, feeling quite hurt by that statement, while Rayni glared at him.

“Since Mereria isn’t in charge,” she snapped at him. “I’m not going to force them to go die in Irithara, and you sure as hell aren’t going to.”

Kaleth looked away, shame on his face. “Apologies. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just surprised. With what Relioth had told me about the Umbra—”

“Yeah, well, things change,” Rayni grumbled, folding her arms.

“What happened besides the obvious?” Kaleth asked, catching onto the fact that Rayni was angrier than she probably should be. Mel had noticed it as well, but he hadn’t asked because he was afraid she’d yell at him.

“Orina and her sons arrived. I think she’s anxious to yell at you for involving Nef in hacking Luxarx’s database, so she yells at everyone else involved,” Rayni explained, sounding incredibly annoyed. Mel wondered what had happened between her and Orina to make Rayni this mad. “Nice plaid, by the way. You look great, bro.”

“Oh,” Mel said, surprised that she started talking to him. “Thank you.” He grinned at his sister, playing with the edge of his shirt.

“Buying a plaid shirt must have killed you, huh?” Rayni asked Kaleth, unable to contain her glee.

“Oh, shut up, Rayni,” Kaleth said, scowling at her, which only made Rayni start laughing. Mel looked from his sister to Kaleth with confusion, feeling like he was missing something important.

“Oh, right, you don’t know,” Rayni said when she noticed the way Mel was staring at them. “Kal here thinks that plaid should only be worn by lumberjacks.” Mel frowned, still not really understanding. “Don’t worry about it. Kaleth’s fashion sense is weird. I don’t even remember a time he wore something casual.”

“My fashion sense is perfectly fine,” Kaleth defended himself, folding his arms and deepening his scowl.

“No, it really isn’t,” Rayni shook her head, patting his shoulder to console him. Mel didn’t know how Rayni wasn’t intimidated by the look Kaleth was giving her, but somehow it did nothing to her. That was pretty impressive.

“Good, now I’m angry,” Kaleth said, for some reason sounding almost pleased by this development. “Where’s Orina?”

“Right through this” Rayni was interrupted as the door she was pointing at swung open.

“I knew I recognized that voice,” Orina said coldly as she walked out of the room, glaring at Kaleth, which he immediately returned.

“Mrs. Arithar,” he said in a forced neutral tone.

“Mr. Garen,” she replied mockingly, and Kaleth narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s our cue to leave before they kill each other,” Rayni said and grabbed Mel’s sleeve. He wanted to protest, but Rayni managed to drag him into the room Orina had just exited before he had a chance.

“Oh, hey, man,” Nef’s voice said from behind Mel, who whipped around and smiled widely. Nef and Alor were sitting at a table similar to the one in the room Mel had been before. In fact, the whole room was very similar, it was just smaller. Both of the brothers looked tired, probably from the trip here. They were also wearing normal clothes again.

“Hi!” Mel replied, waving his hand a little. When his enthusiasm stayed unappreciated, Mel frowned slightly. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, now that our mother is out of the room,” Nef said, and Alor looked at his brother with disapproval.

“She’s just worried,” Alor continued.

“She’s overprotective,” Nef argued. “She hasn’t let me out of her sight since we got here. What am I? Eight?”

Even though they were arguing, something about it made Mel feel at ease. Probably because he’d heard them argue over the last month many times and was used to it at this point.

“Oh my gods, do you ever argue about something else?” Rayni groaned and sat down as well, putting her legs on the table. She ignored the disgusted faces of both brothers and motioned for Mel to sit down as well.

Mel hesitantly did so, and Rayni turned her attention fully to him.

“Now, what I want to know is what happened while I was gone,” Rayni said teasingly. “One of the Umbra told me you left like half an hour after I did, and then you went out to buy you clothes of all things. I’ve known Kaleth for a decade now and I know this—he only buys clothes online, and he doesn’t buy plaid. And you’ve been smiling a heck of a lot since you got back. Is there something you’d like to share?”

Mel’s face went red, but he couldn’t help but smile to himself when he heard just how much Kaleth had gone against his usual habits for him.

Rayni started laughing, but Mel could tell it wasn’t mean-spirited. She nudged his shoulder with her fist and grinned at him.

“Finally! And good for you. Now I’ll have to have a talk with Kaleth about running him through with that fancy sword of his if he ever hurts my baby brother.”

“Y-you wouldn’t actually do that, would you?” Mel asked, unsure if she was being serious or not. Rayni just winked at him.

“Wait, you two have a thing for each other?” Nef asked, apparently surprised.

“You didn’t notice?” Rayni snorted. “Even Al noticed. Speaking of which, I think you owe me fifty aurens.” She turned to Alor, who didn’t look impressed. He just raised his index finger.

“What exactly happened?” Alor asked Mel.

“Um, we kissed,” he said, finding it surprisingly easy to admit it. He wasn’t able to say it without grinning, though.

“Right, but who initiated it?”

“Oh. I did.”

“What? No!” exclaimed Rayni as Alor chuckled to himself. “That’s a technicality. Come on!”

“Is anyone gonna clue us in, or…?” Nef asked, sounding annoyed.

“A few weeks after we met Mel, me and Rayni both noticed Kaleth’s, uh, more than just professional interest in him, so we started a bet about whether Kaleth would go for it or not. I said that he wouldn’t, Rayni said he would.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t think they’d get together, and I did, so obviously I win,” Rayni said victoriously.

“But that’s not how the bet went, so I win,” Alor replied, and Rayni folded her arms, grumbling to herself.

“Why is Kaleth such a coward?”

“He’s not a coward,” Mel defended him, and Rayni snorted.

“Emotionally, yeah he is. Trust me, he’d rather go kill Irif by himself than hold your hand,” Rayni said, shaking her head, and Mel looked down at the table. He didn’t know what to say to that, but it got him thinking about why Kaleth felt this way. It couldn’t be just that he didn’t like expressing emotions, could it?

“He’s…not ashamed of me, right?” Mel asked softly, and Rayni’s eyebrows flew up.

“What? No!” she said immediately and her expression darkened. “Kaleth’s just….” Rayni sighed, narrowing her eyes at Alor, who immediately looked away. “He’s not exactly proud of his preferences.”

“Well, who would be proud of that?” Nef joked, and Rayni gave him a rather scary glare. “Okay, sorry. Gee, I struck a nerve.”

“You have no idea,” Alor whispered to his brother, but of course both Mel and Rayni heard it.

“Why don’t you go check up on your mother? Immediately,” Rayni told them, but it sounded more like a threat than a request. Alor and Nef exchanged a look and did as Rayni said, most likely too tired or intimidated to argue.

Mel didn’t even look at them, though. His mind was reeling. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Kaleth’s problem this whole time was not being accepting of himself. Eternals were generally attracted to personalities and minds rather than bodies, so Mel hadn’t thought of this at all.

And it made him incredibly sad.

“Look,” Rayni said once the door clicked shut. “Kaleth’s from a pretty conservative state even by Enorian standards. And it used to be much worse, too, before we started working with each other. Before then he was in a team with Al and Nef’s parents, so you can imagine what a great impact it had on him.”

Actually, Mel couldn’t. But from her tone, he could gather that it was bad.

“Just don’t take it personally if he ever pushes you away,” Rayni continued, patting Mel’s shoulder again. “But if he does, just come to me, and I’ll yell at him for being an idiot, don’t worry.”

Rayni smirked as she said this, and Mel did his best to smile back, even though he didn’t agree with that last sentence. He didn’t want Rayni and Kaleth to fight. He didn’t want anyone to fight in general.

But at least now he understood why Kaleth struggled with all of this much better. No wonder he didn’t want to do anything couple-like in public. He must have been afraid of what other people might think of him, and Mel would never want to force him into a situation like that, so he wouldn’t even try to test the boundaries.

The last thing he wanted was to make Kaleth uncomfortable or even hurt him.

“Thank you for telling me,” Mel said to Rayni after a moment, and she smiled at him.

“You’re welcome. And I kinda had to because he sure as hell wouldn’t have explained it to you. There’s enough yelling and arguing in our lives already.”

Suddenly, Rayni froze and seemingly zoned out.

“Rayni?” Mel asked, looking at her with worry. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she replied after a few seconds, blinking rapidly. “Mereria just asked me to meet her along with Kaleth outside of Enbrant.”

“What? Why?”

“I think….” Rayni paused, frowning pensively. “I think she wants to help us kill Irif.”

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