The Poisoned Princess: A Snow White Retelling (The Skazka Fairy Tales)
The Poisoned Princess: Chapter 21

DIMITRI

Every time I open my eyes, I think I’m still dreaming. My body feels like it’s on fire, but it’s my heart that feels like it’s going to burst. Maybe I’m hallucinating, because it seems too good to be true. Ivanka has stayed by my side this whole time.

As I open my eyes now, I find her head bowed slightly forward, her hand still wrapped around mine. I watch her as she tries to fight sleep, toggling to one side then the other. When her head falls forward, she jerks upright, her eyes clashing with mine.

“Oh. You’re awake. Here.” She drops my hand and reaches for a glass, bringing it to my lips. I try to sit up, but I’m weaker than I thought, because she needs to help me. I gulp down some water, before she pulls it away.

“Not so fast. You’ll make yourself sick,” she says, placing the glass back against my lips. I drink more slowly this time, watching her over the rim the whole time. Once I’m done, she takes the glass and I fall back against the pillow.

“How long have I been out?” I ask, my body shuddering a bit with a chill. Ivanka is immediately there, pulling a quilt over me and smoothing it over my shoulders.

“A day. Your fever spiked again.”

“I can tell.”

Because I’m seeing her through a fog…almost. I can’t seem to keep my eyes open, so I close them again, taking a deep breath.

“The others returned. By the time they’d made it back to the ambush site, everyone was gone. They had to circle back a different way, just to make sure no one was following them.”

She offers the information quickly, and I’m grateful I don’t have to ask.

“Is everyone…” I trail off.

“They’re all safe and healthy,” she says, before I can muster up strength to finish my question. I can feel her eyes on me, but she doesn’t say anything for a while and neither do I.

“I’ll let you rest. I’ll be right here.” I feel the bed shift as she stands, and before I can think this through, my arm snakes out, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back down on the bed. Except I don’t stop there. Turning on my side, I pull her to me, wrapping my other hand around her waist. My body feels exhausted from exerting what little energy I had, but also more at peace somehow. I open my eyes just a crack to find her face centimeters from mine, her hair spread out on the pillow, the wrist I’m holding in the space between us.

“Dimitri,” she whispers. I know what she’ll say, and I won’t force her to stay. But I need to ask her.

“For a little bit, can we please just stay like this?”

I watch her as she thinks it through, her eyes flicking over my face and down to my cut. We’re lying face to face on the pillow, my hand resting lightly on her waist.

The truth is I’ve been dreaming about this moment—granted, not while I’m feverish and trying to recover from poison—but holding her this close, just being with her when there aren’t outside forces trying to butt into everything we do—it feels right.

I wonder if she feels it too. Maybe she doesn’t and the times I caught her looking at me were only because I was looking at her.

But even as I think that, my heart doesn’t believe it. Whatever this thing is between us, we’re both in it, and we’re both trying to figure it out. Maybe that’s why her decision feels so important. Will she pull away or will she stay?

If she wants to leave, I won’t stop her, but I nearly hold my breath as I wait for her to decide.

“Only for a little bit,” she finally says, keeping her voice low as she looks straight in my eyes. My lips curl into a smile, and I let my eyes fall shut.

“You’re very generous, Princessa. I like that about you.”

I don’t mean to say it, but the title is past my lips before I realize I’d uttered the word. Unfortunately, I can’t stop the sleep that overtakes me, and I’m lost to the world.

IVANKA

My whole worldview goes up in flames at the sound of my proper title on Dimitri’s lips. My heart beats erratically as my mind goes over all the possibilities of what this means for me. Can he truly know who I am? And if he does, then…I have no idea what to think or feel if that’s the truth. A part of me wants to shake him awake and demand answers. But I can’t bring myself to do so. Instead, I stare at him as he surrenders to sleep, his face looking much younger than it ever does when he’s awake.

This close to him, I notice all the things I’ve missed before. The tiny scar at the bottom of his right eyebrow. The little mole on his left cheek, almost directly in the center. The constant worry lines around his eyes that are currently smoothed out. The ghost of laugh lines around his mouth. His hair is even longer now than it was when I first met him. I know he’s trimmed it at least twice since I’ve been here, but it gets out of control quickly. I can’t help it, I reach over, pushing the bangs out of his face. The little sigh he utters travels over my body like goosebumps.

Maybe it was only a slip of the tongue. He seems to have absolutely no inhibition when he’s under the influence of the fever—if our current position is any indication. But for some reason, I don’t think that’s it.

Moreover, the more I think about it the more I believe my presence here is what caused the ambush in the first place. I heard the men talking when they returned. The bandits were too well dressed for their occupation and too skilled in maneuvers used by the royal army. Igor must know how soldiers are trained, which doesn’t surprise me at all. More than once, I’ve noticed how the seven men I’m with appear to be more than they seem. But even if they’re keeping secrets, I don’t fear them. And I can’t see the royal guard scouting the woods to look for them.

The only explanation I can come up with is me.

If Dimitri does know who I am, then I’ve brought whatever danger I am under from the queen to their doorstep. Using my free hand, I unwrap Dimitri’s fingers from my wrist and try to sit up. The hand that’s draped over my waist tightens as Dimitri growls a little in his sleep.

I freeze, watching for any sign of him waking, but he seems to be fully out. Reaching down, I lift his arm, and slip out from beneath it, nearly stepping on the dog.

“Sorry, buddy,” I say, when he gives me an appalled look. I give him a little rub on the head, seeing Kroshka still curled up against him, before I tiptoe out to use the bathroom.

I close the door and lean against it, taking a few deep breaths. When I see my eyes in the mirror, I hardly recognize myself.

It’s true, since I’ve been here, I don’t bother scrutinizing my appearance. It doesn’t seem to matter as much when I’m among friends. No. When I’m among family.

Tears come fast, nearly bursting from me as I sink to the floor in front of the long mirror.

My skin is slightly flushed from spending time in the sun. My face has lost a lot of its softness, finding its sharp edges and defined shape. My hair is long and shiny, almost always kept in a braid, except for right now, when it’s falling around my shoulders.

But it’s my eyes that have changed the most. They’re still the same green, but more mature somehow. I’m not that naive girl anymore, blindly trusting the queen’s word. I have seen firsthand just how cruel humans can be, even to someone they claim to love. I’ve also seen how a group of strangers can show more kindness and care for someone they’ve just met than some families ever show.

And now, I’ll have to walk away from all of it. I can’t bring them into this. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that if I asked them for help, they would give it. But I’ve already asked for enough. I can’t put them into any more danger, and the longer I stay, the more danger they’ll be in.

This is my fight. I’ll do whatever I can to protect them.

Pushing myself up to a standing position, I turn the tap on, splashing cold water on my face. I look like I’ve been crying nonstop, and maybe I have. So much has happened in such a short time and now I must figure out what to do with everything I’ve learned.

I still need to know how much Dimitri knows before I make my final decision. That’s step one. A tiny scratching noise grabs my attention, and I walk over to the door, swinging it open. Kroshka is on the other side, looking up at me expectantly.

She hops into the bathroom, stopping right near my feet. I pick her up, cradling her against me. Just like always, she brings instant comfort, and my heart settles into a more steady beat.

Nothing is lost if there is still hope. The path in front of you is not for you to walk alone.

The voice I heard in my dream resounds in my mind—I nearly drop the bunny. Looking around, I don’t see the source. Am I hallucinating? It’s been a while since I slept, so it’s possible. But then I glance down at the bunny in my hands and the steady way she always watches me.

“Is it you?” I whisper, thinking back to the first time I heard the voice, about the dream that came after the bunny showed up. Dimitri has always been nervous about the forest creatures, but I’ve always felt that Kroshka was a good soul.

“You are a good soul, aren’t you?” I ask, and I’m not sure if I’m expecting an actual answer or not. But when the bunny readjusts herself in my arms, stretching up to give my chin a little head butt, I think that’s all the answer I need.

“Message received, Skazka,” I mumble, as I head back into the bedroom. Dimitri is still sound asleep, so I take a seat on Arseniy’s bed with Kroshka in my lap and wait. There’s a conversation to be had, as soon as Dimitri is well enough to have it.

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