The Making of a Dark Gamma - Book 1
Pain is fleeting

There are loud gasps from the pack as they realise what happened and she vaguely feels the whip go loose, not pulled back but pooling near her feet as Michael drops it, shocked at what had happened, dreading his punishment for the mistake, but also feeling terrible for what he’d just done.

Tyra is still howling, she knows she’s losing control, with no wolf to help with the pain, nor lend her strength, she’s at risk of passing out, and she hasn’t completed the punishment yet until she presents herself to the Alpha, and he releases her, she cannot fall.

Her neck is swelling, and every breath taken, feels like it’s filled with razor blades.

Rasping and laboured, her breaths echo in the silence of the pack, she can feel them all staring at her, watching the disaster unfold before them, as a fog starts to weave its way over her mind.

Absently she notices blood trickling down her hands, in her struggle to remain conscious she focuses on the blood not understanding where it came from.

Not realising she’s buried her claws into her hands, forming a vice lock over the rings, but it’s the only thing holding her up at this point.

The fog on her mind starts to slowly lift as time restarts, pain flooding her system as her senses reawaken, but this time, the pain is shared, Tyra had calmed and not a moment too soon, just before her legs gave way; she starts to absorb some of the pain from her, making it bearable, just.

Taking five deep raspy breaths, each one feeling like it was cutting into her throat, her mind finally clears, she has no perception of how long has passed since the last lash hit, all her senses are turned inward, and her legs finally feel steadier, Tyra’s strength flooding back into her.

Slowly retracting her claws from her hands, she doesn’t register any pain in them, her body already overloaded with pain responses can’t handle any more.

Removing her right hand from the metal loop she’d been hanging onto for grim death, she finally understands the deathly silence isn’t in her head, the pack has stilled in shock, and not a word is spoken.

If she concentrates, she can hear the sound of hundreds of beating hearts, focussing on that and not the pain, she places her hand on the post, steading herself and making sure she’s stable.

Knowing she has to present herself to the Alpha, she can feel the tension in the pack, but this time, it feels like they are on her side, hundreds of silent voices urging her on, watching each faltering step, suddenly aware, that she is still a pup.

Slipping her left hand out of the remaining metal loop, and taking a small step back, she braces herself as she stands to attention sending a new wave of pain through her body and swallowing down the sick feeling.

Swollen injured tissues on her back scream in protest sending a thousand small spikes of pain ricocheting through her body as she changes her position, swaying slightly, she locks her knees to hold her steady, a flash of pain crossing her face leaves a smile on the Alpha’s face.

Executing a quarter turn she walks to the Alpha, her body swaying as she fights her muscles to freeze, pain flaring to life, reflected on her face, as she drops her head to the Alpha.

“Standing here is an example to the pack.”

The Alpha’s voice carries well across the clearing as if what happened were normal.

“Both on what happens when we run from our responsibilities.

But also, the inner strength that we should call on to face up to our errors.

That strength has been demonstrated here today and that’s the strength that makes this pack the shining example to others.

Trainee Gamma Antonia, I look forward to seeing you back in training, your punishment is complete”

“Thank you, Alpha” her voice, cracked, broken, coming out barely above a hoarse whisper, filled with hidden pain, and faltering, ending in nothing but a huff of breath.

He signals to his son Robert and Delta Cole

“Take her to the infirmary, get her checked.”

They move to take her arms to provide support, but she resists, walking slowly with them, moving on her own terms.

“Michael, to my study”

There’s no warmth to the Alpha’s words, and she feels sorry for Michael, his punishment will not be because he inflicted more pain, but because he embarrassed Alpha Vincent in front of the Royal pack by making a mistake in delivering the punishment.

An hour later, she is lying face down on the hospital bed, the concern of the medical staff is for the damage to the neck, leaving her as a minor, confined to the hospital while they monitor the healing.

Tyra, are you ok? You can release some of the pain back to me.

Her wolf is lying quietly, looking at her sadly in her mind

I failed you, almost lost it until Axis calmed me

Tyra replies quietly

Tyra, you were amazing, you didn’t let me down, and you could never let me down.

I’m proud of you. If you took some help from another wolf, that shows cleverness

Tyra perks up slightly at her compliment, Toni hadn’t realised that in their runs and time at the Royal Pack, she had bonded enough with the Delta’s wolf to make contact with him without there being a pack bond in place.

She guesses Tyra had picked up Toni’s thoughts, he and his mate had been the people she’d allowed herself to get closest to, not a mistake Toni would allow herself to make again, but one that at least had helped this time.

Tyra lets out a small whimper in her head.

Let me carry some more of the burden Tyra, I’ve been given pain relief, sleep now.

Tired from the pain in her body, Tyra and Toni drift off to a drug-laden sleep.

As the Doctor enters the room five hours later, he’s accompanied, by the Alpha and Royal Beta, Toni rolls onto her side, getting to a sitting position, about to get off the bed to stand to attention and the Alpha waves his hand, with a look of irritation he speaks out.

“Stay where you are Trainee”

Instead, she bows her head carefully, feeling a flash of pain across her neck.

“The Beta is just touring our facilities and staying with the pack for the week.

Carry on Doctor” he commands

“I’ve told the Trainee Gamma to not speak unless necessary, the damage to her throat was extensive and the lack of flesh held there, always makes healing slower.”

The doctor’s words are not directed at Toni, he is purely explaining the information to the Alpha

“She’s nil by mouth so far as her neck is still swollen, I will bring liquids back shortly, but her healing is not yet at full strength because of her age, but it is at least, increased, or we’d have lost her.

Normally I’d get someone to shift to aid the healing, but I’m concerned with the placement of the injury that the added pressure on the breathing during the shift would be risky for one so young.”

The doctor is just vocalising his thoughts for the guests.

“Her back is healing nicely, I expect some scarring but not much and if it were that alone, I’d expect her to be released later this afternoon and fit for gentle training tomorrow.”

He starts to unwind the bandage from her neck, before slowly peeling off the gauze dressing, knowing the Alpha would expect to see the damage.

“As you can see, significant damage, luckily it wasn’t the silver whip or she would not have survived, even with her wolf, the additional swelling would have closed her airways completely.”

He tilts her head slightly to display the damage better and she can see an ugly glint in the Alpha’s eyes, almost pleased at the impact, her having a permanent reminder of her punishment is something he approves of.

“I envision a full recovery in every other aspect, but this will be a raised scar in human form, hopefully, the scar tissue won’t be too thick, which could affect her wolf and ability to shift easily, but probably an extra day or two before she can train.

He looks at Toni

“Try to speak”

She licks her dry lips once more, a state they have felt permanently in since she got back to this pack.

“Can I be released?”

Her voice is croaky, broken and comes out as a hoarse painful whisper but it’s her voice at least.

“Tomorrow or the day after, I need to know you are recovering properly”

“Today”

Her voice ends in a whisper, the energy required to speak is draining, but, discharging herself tomorrow would be seen as a weakness, except as a minor she can’t sign herself out.

“I’ll sign her out”

The Alpha’s voice is clear, no one messes with the Alpha

“No further talking for twenty-four hours, no exercise, rest and liquids only, I’ll need to see proof you can drink before you are medically fit to leave, papers or not.

No solid food, until I give you the go-ahead.

You will need to come back here tomorrow for me to assess when you can start training.”

The Doctor is applying a new dressing as he’s talking but she’s pretty sure he can feel the scowl off the Alpha, his announcement on training won’t go down well as it’s been made in front of the Royal Beta, which means there will be no training tomorrow and the Doctor may be in for punishment, away from the external eyes.

“If you prove fit enough to be released, I will come and re-apply dressings tonight understand?”

Toni does the slightest of nods at the doctors’ words, only because of the pain involved in moving it more than that

He gets the papers for the Alpha to sign before she is left alone with the doctor once more.

“Don’t go because you feel you should, you took a hell of a beating for one so young, some of those lashes were deeper than an adult gets, understand?”

She does the smallest nod again, but a few hours later he lets her go reluctantly after proving she can drink a small amount of liquid safely.

Dressing carefully to limit the pain, she’s back in her dark combats, she can see small areas of encrusted blood, hidden on the dark uniform as she steps outside and heads towards the pack house.

Only a few people are out in the pack, it’s midnight after all, and even fewer have the audacity to stare at her walking back, as she fixes her gaze at them, not one person holds it, all bowing their heads respectfully.

This role, trainee or not, has a reputation inside this pack for being hard, emotionless and demanding respect, after taking the whipping without screaming, falling or passing out, especially with the last strike, it will still be intact, but she cannot allow a single bit of disrespect or challenge from anyone.

It’s not that she wants this reputation, nor this persona, but this is what’s expected of her, failing to live up to it, she knows, brings more punishments from the Alpha.

It was also part of her father’s teachings

’Rule number two – Guard your reputation with your life.

The more people fear you, the less you have to prove yourself and therefore the less trouble you will have to deal with.

After all, no one would actively choose to go against the Devil, so that’s who you need to be’

She feels another set of eyes on her, turning she sees her old Beta, wait she checks herself, her current Beta, bowing her head to him carefully trying not to hurt her neck more, he nods his back with a sideways tilt, giving her his version of respect to a lower rank, only given to those that he feels deserve it, the fact she’d been given it, makes her heart sink a little as if it seals her fate.

Once in her room, she looked at the items she brought with her, wondering if her clothes were worth unpacking, she’d only get to wear them in her room and only if she was sure the leadership wouldn’t come knocking, in the end, she decides to ignore the majority of the clothes, leaving them in bags for now.

She falls into a difficult night of broken sleep before she heads to the armoury at six am with pen and paper to exchange some of the uniform items and pick up a recurve bow, and daggers, taking her haul to the weapon range first.

The daggers here had a different weighting than those at the Royal Pack in a weapon assessment she did, plus, she’d relied on her bow more than daggers over the last three years and she needed to get back in practice before training started again.

Anything less than where she’d left off before she’d run, would be punished.

Starting with juggling the four daggers, it’s all hand-eye coordination once she blocks out the pain, just one small nick but nothing dropped.

Ensuring no one else is here, she throws all four in quick succession as she juggled them, landing two centrally and two just off centre, fifty per cent isn’t good enough.

After an hour of practice, she’s got her eye back, from the damp feeling on her back, she’s pretty sure she’s opened a wound or two, but only perfection would be acceptable, at least now she’s reliably hitting the centre target with all daggers.

Walking back to her room, she feels Delta Alek watching her progress across the clearing towards the pack house, she’s not sure if it’s the fact she’s carrying all the weapons and uniform that’s drawn his attention or something else.

She gives the slightest nod to protect her neck and carries on, but he walks over, placing his hand on her arm gently.

“I’m sorry Toni”

His eyes looked at her sadly, pity clear in his eyes, with true remorse over what happened, but he didn’t stop it, but then as a Delta maybe it wasn’t his place to do so, it was the Royal Beta that had allowed it to continue.

She grabbed the pen and paper she’d used in the armoury to declare what she needed and scribbled down her response.

“Thank you for the support Axis gave Tyra, without it I would have fallen and had to face another eight lashes.

But this is my life here, this is the decision that was made for how my life would go when it was decided I would be sent back.

And it’s Antonia here, the Alpha would punish me for using an abbreviated name, unseemly for a ranked wolf.”

She watches the disbelief on his face as he reads her comments.

Taking the message from him, she walks away, entering the pack house without looking back, throwing the message into the fire in the lobby, before heading to her room, this is as good as her life is going to get for a while.

Delta Alek’s gaze doesn’t leave Toni as she walks away, watching her enter the pack house, he can’t help but feel she’s been let down, no pup should have to go through what she had yesterday and while the Beta agreed, he'd been clear that his instructions were to give Alpha Vincent a free rein.

It pains him to see the impact, she’d been opening up and now, she’s like a brick wall, impenetrable, closing off, pulling away and isolating herself.

She had lost the spark that he’d seen in the Deadfalls pack and back at the Royal pack, the happy look, tinged with a little defiance, when she’d hauled back the buck had all but disappeared, behind the cold mask she now seemed to wear, what a difference a day had made.

Turning, he headed off to speak to his Beta, knowing this wasn’t right.

Once in her room, Toni pressed gently onto the wound she’d reopened, it was not too bad and nothing that needed to be restitched luckily, but she could feel a small lump the medical staff had missed, usually it was just a bit from the end of the whip, eventually the body rejects the item but it can cause problems, so she decides to remove it now.

Grabbing some tweezers from her medical pack, she digs into the open wound, it’s a bit cackhanded since her arm is bent backwards having to look over her shoulder into the mirror, to do it, not only does she feel the sharp sting as the tweezers poke around in the tender edges of the wound, but the stretch on her neck makes her grimace.

In private, she can show her emotions as long as she doesn’t get used to doing so.

Just as she’s about to give up, she feels the edge of something, grabbing it carefully, her back screams in protest, as the item is pulled through the swollen tender flesh on her back, the healing process had started and she was forcing this item to retear the newly forming skin, the ripping feeling sends a sharp pain across her back as it pops out.

Looking at it carefully, it’s not part of the whip, but a microchip, maybe a tracking device, she can’t think of any other reason to have some sort of microchip in her back, so for now, she’ll keep it with her at all times, or the Alpha will know it’s been found.

She goes over as many of the wounds as she can but finds no other odd lumps, just increased pain. Crashing onto her front, not bothering with breakfast, she falls into another pain-filled sleep, one of many to come, reminding herself that pain is fleeting, it’s just this life that is never-ending.

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