Also trigger warning!!!

I stumbled back falling on the ground, miserably, weak and helpless. I was wounded, so badly injured that I wished to die than to breath. My wolf felt so exhausted that I couldn't feel him but his pain, he was defenseless unable to protect me, he whined and whimpered, that's all I could hear from his side. He couldn't offer me any kind of support, it is now that I need him the most. The slashes of claws going all over my body, chunks of meat missing and even dangling off. I crawled towards the tree from the sea of dead bodies, some of them had their limbs missing, some had their head ripped apart, some had their organs pulled out and some were eaten out by the rouges, it was bone chilling. I crawled towards the tree in such a way as if it's the only life support I have, tears spilled out of my eyes making me hiss in pain when the salt water met the cut on my face. I sat up leaning on the tree waiting for some miracle to take place. My eyes suddenly caught a movement I began hyper prevailing when I saw the vicious grey wolf walk towards me, the wolf because of whom I am in this condition. Nobody had ever heard of anything like that, that wolf.2

The barbaric wolf stood a few feets away from me, observing my moves. It walked up and down, it's vengeful eyes not leaving mine. I whimpered when I tried to look too long into it's eyes. It's was horrifying, no wolves I have met or heard about has those eyes, it's a abyss of dark evil in pure white eyes. My heart beat increased, making it more difficult for me to breath as the wolf now approached me. It stench of something oddly familiar yet different and lethal. My wide went wide open as the wolf charged towards me, my heart rate accelerated. My entire life flashed through my eyes, all the things that defined me, everything I had done to be here. At that point I was no alpha, just a boy who was scared.1

My voice had suddenly vanished, I couldn't scream. I put both of my hands over my face and sealed my eyes shut in freight. The last thing I remember was the silver claws raised in my direction and a numbing pain shot throughout my body.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" I shouted on top of my lungs, I tried to sit up but my body didn't allow me to. I laid on the bed crying helplessly. That day still haunts me, always sending chills down my spine. My heart clenched in woe, I remember crawling between all those dead bodies. My dead packmates, whom I swore to protect. I failed them, I failed them all. I have not been anything but a disappointment to everyone. I looked up to the ceiling and sobbed. That memory haunts me every second of my miserably life.

The door burst open, "Are you okay baby?" Janine's cornered voice ranged throughout the room. I turned my face to the other side as I cried silently, I felt the other side of the bed dip as she crawled towards me. I shut my eyes shut not wanting to look at her, if only I could move. Then maybe.. just maybe I would have my mate in my arms and protect her from all the harm she is facing alone.1 She pulled me up to sit, putting some pillows around me so I don't fall. My heart felt heavy, I used to be an alpha. I used to have everyone do everything for me and now I am dying to even get a chance to lift a spoon to my mouth. I cried without any kind of sound coming from my mouth, I looked at Janine who had a huge bruise on her cheek and a busted lip. Her eyes looked so tired, her struggles could be seen easily by the bag under her eyes. I looked away from her. All this is my fault. Only if.4

I felt her lift my arms and get under it, wrapping her arms around my waist, he looked up at me with her pained blue eyes, "It's okay baby" she whispered soothingly. Rubbing her palm on my chest, my tears leaked freely. I wanted to warp my arms around her. I wanted to feel my mates soft warm skin under my finger tips. I sobbed, "If only I was functional, I would have been able to prevent all of it" I said guiltily and shake my head in disdain.

"It's not your fault, gilly" she said sadly (short from of Gilbert)

"We all are paying for our wrong doing in our own way.. you couldn't have prevented anything, love." She said sighing. I nodded my head in agreement, "Of all the mistake, I still shiver in disgust for everything I did to Nora. She didn't do anything to me.. but I.. how could I have done something so vile?" I sobbed the last part remembering her screams, begging for mercy. I didn't stop. None of us did and now our karma has caught up to us. Except for that scoundrel and Nora's “parents’

"She is alive, Gilbert” she whispered after sometime, my heart leaped suddenly as I looked at her wide eyed.2

"They found out and now he is after her... I saw her, Gilbert. She looked happy. I don't want anything to happen to her. Not this time, Gilbert" she tells me, sincerity and honestly dripping from every word. I didn't know, what I was feeling, I was happy that she is alive and well but I am afraid to face her.

"We can't let him get to her" I tell her. She nods her her in agreement. We stay there in silence, "I love you Janine" I tell her. She looks up at me, even her bruised face looks so angelic, “I love you too, gilly" she says softly and kisses my chest. That night after a very long time I slept in peace. Nora's POV

"What are you doing here, Tyler?" I asked impassively. I could feel Sebastian's confusion through our bond. Tyler had a hard look on his face as his eyes travelled from Edmund to Henry to Sebastian. His jaws clenched, "I know you told me not to come to your life.. but I need to talk to you for a minute” he pleadingly said not beating around the bush1

"Take them outside Arora" I said harshly, not directed to her but to him.

"Stay here, Sebastian” I told him softly, his arms still wrapped around me, he nodded without a word.

The four of them walked out leaving just the three of us here, "Why are you here?" I asked stepping away from Sebastian and walked towards Tyler threateningly, dominating him with my lycan. Tyler stumbled back wide eyed, "You're a lycan" he said in disbelief to which I didn’t respond with anything but an inscrutable look.1

He whimpered and showed hai neck in submission, "I didn't come here to jeopardize your life in anyway.." I said looking down at the ground. I take a long breath, "I am just here to let you know that he found you.... Justin found you" he said looking up at me. I was shocked to say the least, "Hmm took them long enough” I said not being impressed. Then I remembered, "I do remember smelling Thomas' scent yesterday" I whisper to myself but it was loud enough for both of them to hear me.1

"Yeah he was the one to inform about you..." He trailed off. I huffed, "Thank you for the information. The door is that way" I say professionally cold and showed him the door. His face fell and a pained look took over, "I am sorry Nora. If only I didn’t run off... Maybe things would have been different” he said for the millionth time.1

"I know it's my fault an--" he started to ramble on but I cut him off, "Okay I am gonna stop you right there" I said in annoyance. I rubbed my palm on my face, "I have told you a million times, Tyler. It wasn't your fault. And even if you think you are in fault, then don't because I don't hold you accountable for anything.” I said coldly but soothingly. He looked so helpless and in pain, his eyes glimmered with tears, "I could have preven-" he began saying more but I had enough of his self pity. 1

"Look Tyler, you can't blame yourself for all the things they did to me. They had a choice and they made it, Briana fooled everyone. And they believed her. You couldn't have done anything, even if we wouldn't have rejected each other I would have been miserable not knowing the truth and being with you..." I tell him truthfully and sighed, "I am happy for everything that has happened, it framed me. Good or bad, they all made me who I am. And I wouldn't a thing for what I have now. I am grateful for everything. I am grateful for all the rejection I had. So stop blaming yourself" I said as nicely as possible not trying to hurt him in any sort of way. I may have changed in a lot of way but I would never in a million years hurt an innocent soul. I knew he didn't have any hand in the matter but since the last 7 years since he found I was alive, he has been begging for my forgiveness.

"I don't hold any grudges towards you, ty nor do I wish any bad on you. You just did what your heart told you and it's okay. I don't forgive you because you have nothing to be forgiven for. You were one good part about my past and I would like to keep it that way, in the past.” I said hinting him to go away. He looked at me with his sad blue eyes, "Anything you want." he said and walked to wards the door. He stopped for a second and looked back with a small smile.1

"By the way, my kids love the dessert you make" he said and walked out of the door. I smile to myself, he has beautiful set of twins boys, 13 year olds and one 8 year old girl. His wife was a month pregnant when they came for Gilbert's wedding, that's why she was acting all emotional. She is still happy and healthy till this day, she did too once met me and apologized profusely. As did too had nothing to be forgiven for, she did what any other she-wolf would do if they saw their mate kissing someone else, if not more.

"What is going on?" I was broken off my my train of thoughts, I looked back at him. A confused frown was etched in his picturesque face, I sighed. I was dreading this day, when I had to explain my past.. all of it. I looked up at him, "We should go somewhere alone” I said.

"We ARE alone” he said and crossed his arms in don't of his chest, his muscles bulged showing just how bulky those thick ropes of muscles are, "We'd have sex later, first tell me what's going on?" He said half teasingly half seriously. I blushed and looked away, "Not here, it my work place.. we should go somewhere intimate.. where we can talk." I said pursing my lips.

I pulled out a bottle of wine and made myself outside the wine cellar in the basement to ground floor, where Sebastian had set two glasses on the table. I smiled softly at him and plopped myself beside him. He wrapped a blanket around us after pulling me on his lap, I chuckled mentally. He always wants the most skin contact with me.

"So are you gonna say anything?" Sebastian asked raising a brow at me. I took a long deep breath and explained to him all the things that happened to me in the past, every last bit. To say he was fuming with hate and disgust would be an understatement. He would growl Everytime I mentioned how Justin used to rape me or beat me blue and black, and neither my “parents’ or my 'siblings* didn't do anything to prevent it. Then I proceeded to tell him about everything that the Brukes treated me and patted Justin's back for every scar, broken bone or bruise he used to leave. His hold on me tightened every second. I honestly thought it would hurt. to tell him all those things and it did but the pain was dull. I have suffered too much for too long, very young. I need to let the painful memories go.1

"The pack were equally bad, if not more. Because Justin was the beta and hadn't “claimed’ me spiritually so they could do anything they wanted to but they were smart not to put their dicks in my vagina.... I remember once when I was cleaning the gym, a bunch of my bullies and assaulters came in. They tossed and turned me... Throwing me around, kicking me.. this guy threw a kettlebell on my foot with such a force that my foot broke into three pieces. They tied me up and forced themselves in my mouth and when I retaliated by biting it, they puched my jaw and threw me in a punching bag.... They invited everyone to beat me. I remember feeling different objects hitting me, from rods to weights to knifes,,.......mmmmm I Was in the hospital unattended for almost three days. I had to get up on my own and do my bandages that the nurse threw at me." I gulped looking up at the ceiling.

There was a dull silence after that, both of us lost in our own world, "How did you escape?" He asked me. I looked down to our intertwined hands, "Tyler, that guy from the restaurant.. he.. was my ex mate.. he was already mated when I met him.." I sigh shaking my head then I start to tell him about everything that went down during Janine's wedding. My heart contracted with pain but no tears left my eyes, "Mom showed me months after I was rescued. I had been begging her to know what had happened, I didn't remember anything but the insufferable pain that I felt all over my body from them raping me..." I said softly looking outside the window, "I died from all the pain. Alice.. my “brother's’ mate flung me off the cliff." I said, finally a tear rolled down my cheek.

"That day I wasn't the only one who died.. I was pregnant.. when Janine stabbed her heels in my stomach, my child died.” I said as more tears rolled down my eyes, "Even though it was conceived by the wrong means, it was still MY baby. Just an innocent little baby... Who had no idea of the wicked worldly games.. she was just a little baby" I sobbed, I felt his arms around me rubbing my back. I put my face in the crock of his neck and sobbed, "I asked Arora to show me my baby, she could see a little angel flying over me since I was resurrected. She was so beautiful, Sebastian. She was a pure carbon copy of me, she had their bright blue eyes with beautiful brown hair and the most beautiful smile... I never got to hold her, Sebastian.” I sobbed loudly on my Erastis' shoulder.

I could feel something fluttering above us, I didn't need to have Arora to know who it was. Her presence was enough for me to know, it was my babygirl.

Sebastian rocked me untill I wasn't crying anymore. I pulled away from him a little bit to look at his face, his eye were red and cheeks were tainted from his tears. I am sure I didn't look any different, maybe worst, "You're such a strong woman, Nora. If it were any other woman, they would have been crumbled to ground but you build yourself to be so independent and powerful. It's absolutely remarkable, most people would have gone down the wrong road but you didn't.. you took the high road.. Your daughter would be proud of you, my love. She is proud of you" Sebastian said cupping my face. I looked at him vulnerably, "She is proud of me?" I asked meekly.3

He nodded his head vigorously, "She is so proud of her mumma" he said softly and kissed my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him to my dear life, he is my life. I tilted my head to look up, through I couldn't see her, I could feel her, 'l love you babygirl’ I mouthed and pulled Sebastian closer to me.

"I didn't know it was possible for me to love you even more. You're such a powerful woman, love" he said and kissed my forehead. I smiled sadly at him, "I was afraid that you'd leave me after knowing everything.” I said softly burying my face in his chest. We were lying on the couch facing each other wrapped securely in the warmth of the blanket. He put his hands on my chin and lifted my face, he looked shocked and hurt at the same time, "I love you, Nora. I love you regardless of the entire world. I chose to love you, my lycan chose to love you and we don't regret a single thing. If you already had a dozen of kids I wouldn't have any problem with it, I would accepted them as mine and have loved to nurture OUR kids together. Na matter what has happened to you in the past, it didn't reduce my love for you by even a notch. It only managed to increase my respect for you" he said in all honesty. I smiled at him and pecked his lips softly, "I love you, puppy" I say softly to which he give me his trillion dollars smile, "I love you more, moya malen“kaya al'fa" he said and kissed me.

I giggled as he left wet sloppy kisses all over my face, he pulled back with the most beautiful look on his face, nothing but pure love and adoration on his face, "You're the best thing that has happened to me, moya lyubov' " (my love)

I smiled back at her and cuddled closer to my love. We shared our affection in that 15 minutes of peace in each other arms. I still felt a little guilty for not telling him everything, would he hate me for what I did? Would he still want to be with me? I am not exactly not proud of what I did but I had no control over myself.

"What I don't understand is why would any family treat a member of their family like this?" He asked, I pursed my lips contemplating whether or not should I tell him. He is ought to find out anyway so why not from me.

"Because they are not my family” I tell him looking at at his face, "Well not exactly." I add confusing my Erastis more.

"I don't get it" he said in confusion his browns drawn together and his nose scrunched up. I chuckled at his cuteness and kissed his nose, "Do you know alpha Amell?" I asked tilting my face. "Yeah, I know him. He is the alpha of Blueblood pack the strongest werewolf pack in the world, people call him the rouge king. That one right?" He asks me. I narrow my eyes, "Yup that one.. but that's not all that made him this powerful. His family was burnt down in a building fire and at his his uncle took away his title making him a rogue at a tender age of 10. When he was 19 he returned to claim back his pack which he did by killing his uncle and the uncle's family. But unfortunately, he met his mate who was at that moment was in a compromising position with his uncle, he was enraged to say the least and killed her as well. From there on he became the ruthless alpha, nothing came before his pack. But unfortunately he fell in love again with the wrong woman from his rival's pack.. they both eloped and came back to his pack and had two babies back to back.." I say drawing various shapes on his chest.

"A battle had broke between the two pack while she was pregnant with her third baby. The rival pack found the woman and took her back. She saw that her lover's pack was losing so she lied that alpha Amell had kidnapped her. She was the queen of the pack after the Luna so they believed her. Alpha Amell was heart broken, he couldn't believe that the woman he loved with all of his heart would betray him like that. From there on he began training his pack and his two sons ruthlessly, he would take in strong rogues in his pack and would train everyone. Even a 14 year old of that pack could single handled take down the top warriors of other packs" I said feeling pride bubble on my chest.1

"What does all of it has to do with you?" He asked me, I didn't know how to respond. I just looked up in his enchanting eyes, "Alpha Amell is my biological father” I tell him, his eyes went a little wide, "Well I did smell alpha blood on you.." he said1

"How did you meet him?" He asked, this is what I dreaded. I closed my eyes shut and took calming breath to compose my raving heart, "The night when I was resurrected, something else back with me..." I gulped in fear, "I had changed, something dark came back with me. Whenever someone is resurrected something evil comes with them, and something came back with me as well..." I said stuttering the next few lines.

"I am poisoning, my claws had poison in them. My eyes were different, nothing like ever seen before, it's was stark white. My dark side had taken full control over me. I used to go on rampage, hunting the predators. That how I came across the pack territory, alpha Amell had tacked me down but my wolf refused to use her poisonous claw on him In a second he was off me. He looked at me shocked, his wolf had recognized me as his blood. I shifted back too, he took me back to hai pack house where I met my elder brothers, Oliver and Clark. Months after meeting them, I told them everything. Dad was finally happily mated to a nice woman who had two more kids. She was happy to have me and accepted me as her daughter. I too did accept them as my family but my bond with the Huntsons was too deep and too strong, I didn't.. couldn't leave them. So I stayed with them.. I finally had two families. Two loving father, two loving mother's, three sisters and six loving brothers. It's a huge family but I love my family." I trailed off with a smile on my face.2

"Mom casted a spell on me and now I have full control over my dark side" I finish looking up at him. I thought I would see a judgement face but instead I was greated with a smiling face, "You got everything you ever deserved... That's why you should always be--- WAIT.... does that mean I have to meet face two father and six brothers?" He said the last part almost terrified, I threw my head snack and let out a laugh, "You'll do just fine" I say and kiss his lips.

"Is there something more I should know?" He asks, I grimace, "You know I can read your mind.. what are you hiding? I promise I wouldn't judge you." he tailed off looking deeply in my eyes, "My love for you will never truncate” he ensured me. I sighed, "When told my brother and father, they were enraged. Fuming as to how they could have treated me like that, my brothers anyway hated that bitch of a mother and now we had a reason to tear everyone apart. I lead the Blueblood pack and rogues to attack the TealRiver, I tore apart ever last person my sight would land upon, regardless of their gender or age. I was driven by the throat of their blood. That's when I saw Gilbert, Janine's husband, the Alpha of TealRiver, my rapist, my murderer. And something pure evil took over me, I knew killing him would be easy and I didn't want that for him. Or anyone for a matter of fact. I played with him, tore him limb to limb untill he was nothing but a helpless shit. My wolf released a venom, a dangerous one. I clawed him from chest to toe, paralyzing him from neck down.. I tore apart the pack, killed half of them and left the other half to be tortured by the rouges and the Blueblood..." I said my jaws clenching together when I remembered the innocent rouges telling me how they too were either raped or saw their loved one's being raped or murdered by the TealRiver. "The cry of agony and pain are still like music to my ears. I love the look of fear in their faces, seeing them so helpless. I enjoyed every last bit of it... I had swore to torture the other half as well but mom saw how much evil had possessed me, she casted a spell on me to have the evil side under bay untill 1 took full control over it and I did.. after years. I wanted to finish what I started.. but then I realised how much power I am still letting those rapist have over my life. Even after being separated from them I still held on. For me to have a better future I had to let it go and I did. Them you came, the light to my dark world and then I realised how right was my decision. it was right for me to let go of the past pain just so that I could sigh in relief and live a happy life in the future” I tell him caressing his cheeks. His eyes shined with pride, "You're stronger than I imagined... I was so proud to call a woman like you mine" he said and kissed me passionately.

It's true that some wouldn't agree with what I did but I didn't care. As I said, if it were for the past I would be the woman I am today. And I am proud to be who I am.

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