The Chapter 53 Jara

Jara

The doctor released me the day after I woke up. I haven't spoken unless someone asks me a question. I feel so numb that all I want to do is sleep.

Mason helps me get up and get dressed. When we step out of the room, the waiting room is full of our pack members. I can feel their need to be close to me, to comfort me and to be comforted by me. But I'm empty. I have nothing to give to them, so rather than saying anything, I walk past them toward the packhouse.

"It's lunchtime, Jara. Did you want to eat?" Mason asks.

I shake my head and turn toward our bedroom, climbing the stairs, and walking to our room. When I get there, I kick off my shoes and crawl into bed, pulling the blankets over my head.

I don't know how long I lay there, but I wake to quiet voices talking outside the door.

The door opens. "Layan, just leave her be."

"I don't think so, Alpha."

A moment later, the blankets are ripped off me. "Okay Jara, time to get in the bath. You smell."

"Leave me alone, Layan."

She leans over me in the bed, putting her hands on either side of my face, her face so close I can feel her breath. "Not a chance."

"I agree." I hear and looking past Layan I see Isabella. "If Layan isn't strong enough to carry you to the bathtub, I know that I am." She says, coming to sit on the other side of the tub. "I'll go get the water running." Layan says, leaving me with Isabella.

She begins stroking my hair, not saying anything. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes before they begin to spill over. She lets me cry, stroking my hair until Layan comes back out. "All right then, time to get into the tub."

"I don't want to." I say, really just wanting to lay here.

"I know." Isabella says, taking my face in her hands. "But you're a Luna. You don't get to wither away and die."

"And I'm your friend, I won't be letting you die, especially when you smell so foul." Layan says, coming up behind me. I guess I still have some of the blood and saliva from the battle on me.

Before I know what's happening, Isabella has scooped me up and is carrying me to the bathtub. She sets me on my feet and Layan begins undressing me. As soon as she's done, Isabella puts me in the tub. The warm water feels soothing against my sore body. I hadn't even realized that my body was so sore.

I lay there and, in a moment, I feel warm water running through my hair. Layan returns with body wash and a washcloth and begins washing my body while Isabella washes my hair.

"I was thinking," Layan says, not looking up as she washes me, "that after the funerals tonight, we will need a movie night."

I look at her. The funerals are today. I can't go, I can't. I begin to panic.

"Movie night? What is this about?" Isabella says.

"Well, it's kind of a tradition. When I was....healing, Jara, Hana, Annabel and Mignon all came to visit me. We had pizza, popcorn, sodas and watched movies. It was something we started during the claiming, since

there were so many of us this past year and they kept up the tradition. I think we should continue it."

"It sounds like a wonderful idea to me." Isabella says behind me.

I shake my head. "I'm sure you both have more important things to do than sitting with me watching movies." I say to them.

Layan's gentle hand comes to my face, turning it to look at her. "You are my friend, Jara. There is nothing more important than you right now." Her eyes are so earnest that I can't deny that she means what she's saying. I nod.

"Good, that's settled. The harder part will be the funeral." Layan says, looking at me.

"I can't." I whisper.

"Jara, listen to me. I know you are feeling raw right now, probably empty, like you have nothing to give the pack. But as your friend, I know that if you aren't there to send Lewis off to the Moon Goddess, you wil never forgive yourself."

I feel my lips quiver. I know she's right, but I don't know how I can ever get through the funeral.

"I will be by your side the entire time." She says to me quietly.

"As will I." Isabella says as she washes my hair. "We won't leave you Jara. Remember, you are the catalyst that started this support system. You are not alone, and you are not required to always be the strong one. Let us be your strength right now. We will support you and hold you up for as long as you need us." She says.

"Thank you." I say.

When they are done, they help me out of the bathtub. I have a moment to

realize that this must have been what it was like for Layan that first time she saw us. We all rallied around her, comforting her and supporting her.

I pull her into a tight hug. "Thank you." I say again.

"It's what friends do. You and our friends taught me that, Jara." She says, hugging me back. I feel Isabella wrap her arms around both of us. "And now, hopefully, I'm part of the circle of friendship too." Isabella

says.

Layan looks up at her. "Definitely."

They help me get dressed and Mason comes in to get ready too.

"Are you ready, Jara?"

I nod. "Layan and Isabella are coming with me." I tell him, feeling like they are the life preserver that is keeping me afloat in my sea of grief.

"Of course." He says and they wrap their arms around me as we move to the back of the packhouse, Mason following behind us.

I realize that Seth is leading the funeral services, saying words of goodbye and of the good that our pack members did during their short lives. I can feel Mason's pain, but I shut it out. I have too much of my own and feeling his would incapacitate me.

As they light the pyres of our dead, I send up a silent prayer to Lewis thanking him for saving my life and giving his life for mine. Layan was right, I would never have forgiven myself if I wasn't here tonight. When it's done, I sway, the overwhelming grief of the pack too much to bear. I feel Mason's hands on my hips before he pulls away and lets Layan and Isabella guide me back to the packhouse. Layan guides me to her room where there is a recliner couch and a tv

already set up. Isabella chooses some comedy while Layan sits me on the couch beside her. She grabs a blanket wrapping it around me and after Isabella starts the movie, she comes to sit on the other side of me, sandwiching me between them. There is no grief, no sadness from them, only love filtering to me. It's a relief and it doesn't take long before I fall asleep in Layan's arms, so similar to the first night that I saw her after the claiming when she fell asleep in my arms.

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