The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)
Chapter Twenty-Six: Pure Insanity

They were joking. They had to be.

They wanted me to take on the power of a God? A God? Didn’t they learn anything the last time I held power? I mean, I was doing a better job now but that was only because I knew what I was in for. I was conscious of the mistakes that I had made in the past and I wasn’t about to repeat them but...That much power humming underneath my skin, it would be...intoxicating, consuming.

Pressing a hand to my aching chest, I focused on the grass tickling my bare feet as I paced. Fuck this. If it wasn’t one thing threatening to pull me under it was another. Of course, though. Of course, my father had to be a Divine. He couldn’t have been a blacksmith or some lowborn asshole. Noooooo, he had to be a God and leave behind some screwed up destiny or legacy or whatever the fuck to his equally screwed up daughter.

Gritting my teeth, I raised my clenched fists to my face before flinging them back down, “Even unknowingly, that bitch is STLL fucking me over!”

A rumble vibrated the ground seconds before a sharp crack snapped over the clearing and the ground on either side of me split wide open. Ignoring it, I sped up my pacing between the foot wide cracks in the earth. At the end of the day, it didn’t even matter what I wanted. It never did. Like Cillian pointed out, the transformation could be triggered by anything at any time. But I wouldn’t take the power like the Prophecy declared, I’d let my soul burn first. The only problem was I wouldn’t die and everything holding me back like a conscience and morals would.

My father’s message for me at the bottom of the scroll hadn’t offered a third option either. Just to make sure I didn’t miss anything when I skimmed it, I ripped open the skin scroll and read it again.

Macha.

If you’re reading this, I’m dead and Dougal has done what needed to be done. I am the Great Divine Liar Malachy and you’re my daughter. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through at the hands of your mother. If I could have stopped it without changing the course of time, I would have. But everything you’ve gone through has been building up to this point in time. You’re a Divine, babygirl. The last living, breathing God. (Don’t let anyone try to sell you on that Demi-god or Goddess bullshit. You’re my daughter, you’re a God.) There will come a moment that will trigger your transformation. Each Divine transforms differently. Some feel unexplainable euphoria...while others come out bloody and swearing. It’s important that you have someone you trust at your side at all times, who can protect you through the process. Reality will disappear during the transformation but all you need to do is accept it. Accept the power or doubt yourself and burn your soul, Macha. You’ve spent the majority of your life in chains. But with this amount of power or without a conscience, no one will ever be able to put you in chains again. I’ve seen both possibilities and someone will always love you either way, as will I. Burn them all or save them, the choice is yours but don’t ever let them put you in chains again. I’ll be watching from the stars.

Love, Malachy. (Your father.)

P.S. I’m a known liar and I adore lying but this is by far the most truthful I have ever been. (It kind of hurt.) Also, I vote for burning at least half of the realm. Your mother’s half.

Snorting, I rolled it back up and stuffed it in the waistband of my loose pants. Yup. There was no way out unless the transformation was never triggered but that was too unpredictable and I’ve never been that lucky. To burn the world or save it, funny how he didn’t put that in his little Prophecy. He also didn’t mention how I wasn’t fit to have that much power. Why was that not registering in peoples heads?

Frustration had my muscles tensing to the point of pain as I squeezed my eyes shut. A Hero. That’s what they were really asking me to be. Someone for the people to look up to with hope shining in their colored eyes. Kissing babies and shitting sparkles. But that wasn’t who I was. I didn’t give a damn if some stranger was dying in front of me if it meant saving someone else who I actually cared about. I was selfish and fully uncaring of that fact. I liked breaking things and making deals with dire consequences for the other person.

“A Hero.” I scoffed in disgust, throwing my hands high and watching the nearby trees splinter apart. “Do I look like everybodies fucking Hero?”

Closing my eyes against the flying pieces of bark, I nudged the ground and felt the roots from deep underneath break free. Through slitted eyes, I watched them snap wildly at the air in front of me before lifting my hands again. Palms facing up, I felt the cool metal slide into my grip. Laughing, I tipped my face to the sun in time to see dark clouds rolling over the blue sky. Twirling my swords in hand, I raised them up and slashed down across the storm clouds. They ripped open on cue and released a downpour that had me drenched within seconds.

Spinning around in the muddy puddles, I began to slice and twist my way around the clearing. Blue metal flashed in and out of my vision creating a whistling sound that I could barely hear over the roar of the heavens. Pointing both swords at the ground on my right, I slashed them through the mud and over my head before they hit the ground again. Two lines of fire erupted from the gashes in the muddy grass and sped towards a pair of trees a few feet away.

More laughter poured from my lips as the trees went up in an inferno. The heat of the blast kissed my skin briefly despite the rain and burned out quickly. Dropping my head back on my shoulders, I gazed up at the rumbling sky and screamed, “Hey! Malachy! You think just because you left that note, you’re my father?”

I shook my head and laughed, swiping another line of fire through the mud with a sword, “No. You’re just another shitty parent!” Melding the twin swords together, I pointed my new longsword up at the ever darkening sky, “The Divine Liar and Mab! Oh, I really hit the lottery in the gene department. Didn’t I? No wonder I’m a fucking mess! And you want me, me to be the God the realm needs?”

Clasping both hands around the handle, I let the sword fall until the tip hit the ground and cut a large circle around me. A ring a fire erupted and I laughed at the weak threat as water pelted me from above. “You really screwed the pooch on that one, Asshole!”

A flash of light cutting through the black clouds above caused my chest to heave in rage, “Don’t like being disrespected do you? Well, too bad! I’m not the Hero you want me to be! The one that everyone wants me to be! I just accepted getting help for my personal issues and you throw this in my lap? You son of bitch! I wish you were alive just so I could kill you too!”

Deafening cracks of thunder and lightning ripped across the sky like a warning yell you gave to a child. Spreading my arms wide in challenge, I continued to scream at him over the noise, “You know what! I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to find out where you’re buried and stab an iron sword straight through your rotted OLD bones!”

I spun quickly at the sharp explosion of lightning touching down at the edge of the clearing and laughed cruelly. Cutting my eyes back up to the sky, I continued, “You couldn’t have fucked literally anybody other than Mab, huh? You had to leave the realm with me as a savior? You daft slag!” Dirt and tree roots rained down on me as lightning viciously struck the ground right outside my ring of fire. “In what plane of the multiverse did you actually think I’d be who they needed?”

My eyes grew wider as the rain continued to pour but the loud claps of thunder and lightning halted. Mind racing, I gasped at the realization and squinted through the rain up at the clouds, “You motherfucker! You thought I was just going to burn the realm and be done with it! You never thought I’d transform, you lying Gnome!” Lighting cracked down all around me, temporarily blinding me as I was pelted with rocks and dirt.

“Macha! What the fuck are you doing! Get out of the storm!”

I jerked back slightly at the response, thinking my father had finally used his words until I blinked away the white splotches in my vision. Standing at the edge of the clearing, beyond my ring of fire, stood a completely drenched and furious Cillian.

Pushing the wet hair from my face, I called back, “He never thought I could do it, Cillian! He assumed I’d fail!”

“Who, you lunatic? I’m the only one here!” He snapped, jumping back as a bolt of lightning hit the ground inches from where he stood. Guess Malachy was a little protective then.

Baring sharpened teeth, I locked my eyes back on the sky above me and pointed my sword at where I thought he’d be hiding in the clouds. “My father! Who turns out is an even BIGGER gaping asshole than you are! I can’t believe you never had the smallest smidge of faith in me, Malachy!”

Cillian shouted something but it was drowned out by the seven bolts of lightning striking the ground around me. Standing tall, I kept my burning eyes on the small patch of sky that I could see and laughed mockingly. When the white at the edges of my vision returned to the dark grey and green of my surroundings, I ground my teeth together in agitation.

“MACHA!”

“Were you trying to SMITE me? ME? I’d like to see you try that again, you dried up corpse!” Dark clouds rolled in on each other as thunder clapped aggressively. Sneering at the bright patch of light growing right above me, I raised my aching arms higher and pointed the tip of my sword right at its center, “Bring it on, you son of bitch! I’ll even make it easier for you! I know how hard it is for OLD LYING GEEZERS to see straight!”

The air around me crackled with electricity as the blinding light shot straight down aiming for the tip of my sword. I couldn’t tell how close it was to hitting the metal and frying me but it never had the chance. What felt like a mountain cashed into me from the side, sending me tumbling out of the flaming circle and into the muddy ground. A jarring weight hit me from all sides as I tried to dig my nails into the ground for purchase, trees and muddy ground flashing across my vision. Pressure from the mud building up beneath my nail beds made my fingertips sore and did nothing to stop my flailing body.

After what felt like a year of my limbs banging into the hard ground and Cillian’s body, I grunted as my back collided with the trunk of tree. The relief of my stop was short lived though as Cillian slammed right up against me and the tree. A concerning bending sensation made itself known in my spine while a throbbing ache started up around my ribs.

Opening my eyes, I watched as Cillian peeled himself off of me with a groan only to fall onto his back. Cringing, I slowly unwrapped myself from the trunk to immediately fall on top of him making us both moan in pain. Carefully tipping my head a few inches, I looked at the underside of his mud splattered jaw before asking, “You alive?”

“Unfortunately.” He groaned roughly. “You?”

“I’ll survive.”

“Good. Then, get off.”

Panting in exertion, I muttered, “Not a chance in ifreann. Crawl out from under me, I think I broke my back.”

“Cell Bait, you’re crushing my already crushed ribs.”

“You shouldn’t have slammed into me then.”

“Oh, so I should have just let that gigantic lightning bolt hit you?”

“It wouldn’t have killed me, Lilly.”

His body jostled underneath me as he let out a cough, “So, I’m Lilly again?”

Have somebody you trust at your side at all times. “I still need the Cluiche Grudge. But after this...I trust you.”

“Why?”

I chuckled and then immediately curled in on myself when pain pierced my ribs, “You’re helping with my personal issues and you risked getting smited in order to unnecessarily throw me out of the way. Lilly, if I can’t trust you then I can’t trust anyone and I’m going to need someone I can trust.”

“I’ve been telling you this from the start, Macha.” He sighed. “You’re not in this alone, you have me.”

“If you see me abusing my power, you’ll stop me?”

“Of course.”

“And if I start making bad choices?”

Lilly groaned as he tilted his head just to look at me and roll his eyes, “I’ll tell you. Now, will you tell me what the hell just happened?”

“I’m going to transform, Lilly.” I smirked while my thoughts reconnected from the head hits I took on our tumble. “That talking skeleton thinks I can’t do it so I’m going to.”

“The talking what?”

“My father. He told me, he never believed that I’d actually do the work and become a Divine slash savior of the realm.”

Clarity like I had never felt before expanded over my mind like a cool fluffy cloud. I, now, knew exactly what I had to do. What I’ve been telling myself since the beginning of this thing, that the people came first. So, I was going to become the God and savior they needed me to be but I was going to do it my way. I was going to heal from my past trauma, become a God, unite the realm and kill Mab all in my own way. I guess lying fathers are good for something after all.

“Macha...Your father’s dead. You couldn’t have been talking to him.” Cillian said, slowly like he didn’t just witness our conversation.

I snorted and then winced, “You think all that lightning and thunder wasn’t a Divine’s anger?”

“No, I do. Yours.”

Raising a weak hand, I patted the side of his face, “Oh, Lilly. You don’t have a whole lot going on upstairs, do you?”

Lilly’s laugh turned into a pained cough, “I’m obviously no match for your brilliance, My Queen.”

“Don’t feel bad, not many are.” I preened before trying to move further away from the tree still digging into my side, “Divines. I feel exactly like I did after I got hit by that semi. Getting tackled should not hurt this bad.”

“About that...”

Tensing, I looked back up slightly to meet his silver eyes, “What.”

“You’re not the only special Faekind descended from an extinct species.”

I raised a brow, “Are you seriously trying to upstage me on the same day I found out I’m a Divine?”

“Have you never wondered about my lack of ability or why I’m so tall?” He asked, shifting so my head fell back comfortably into the crook of his upper arm.

Shrugging lightly, I replied, “I always thought you had a weak will and who am I to judge? I’m six three.”

“My mother’s a Frost Giant and I take after her the most. That’s why she’s so good at wood carving.”

“Frost Giants….Frost Giants…” Squinting at him, I tried to think back to what little I knew about them. “You guys are tall, good with carving, ridiculously strong...which is why that Troll’s hit to your head didn’t knock you out immediately.”

He nodded, “Males typically have pure silver hair while the females vary in coloring. We can also telepathically converse with family members and our mates.”

“So your half Unseelie and half Frost Giant?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe you thought you had a chance at upstaging me on the wow factor. Today of all days, Lilly.” I grinned.

“I’m only telling you because after everything that’s happened today, it wouldn’t be right to keep you in the dark on something else.”

Giving him a pat on the chest, I smirked, “I glad you did. I was starting to think you’d get me killed.”

“Why would I get you killed?” He asked, silver brows dipping.

“Because during the transformation, Malachy said my reality would disappear and I’d be vulnerable. So, I’m going to need you to guard me during my Divine transformation. Which thankfully, you’re strong enough to do.”

“Of course, but you’re serious about going through with the transformation? Macha before you-”

“I know what I said before.” I replied, rolling my eyes. “But that was before I knew that my asshole father thought I couldn’t do it.”

He gave me a look that I was starting to think of as his special look just for me. A wonderful expression of exasperation and fear. “Please tell me you’re not doing this just because you think your father told you he never had faith in you.”

Shoving into his side, I ignored his groan and flipped onto my back beside him. Glaring up at the sky, I gave it a mocking smile, “Oh, I am soooo doing this just because the old geezer thinks I can’t. He tried to smite us, Lilly. Smite us! I’m going to make him twist in his probably unmarked grave.”

“To be clear, you’re saying that the storm was your dead father talking to you?”

Turning to look into his eyes, I replied in my most serious tone, “Yes. I’ve never been this clear headed in my entire life, Cilllian. I’m going to fulfil the Divine Prophecy to spite him.”

He squinted, “You’re going to become a God by going through a transformation that could have a worse consequence than death if you fail, unite all of Tir Na Nog to go to war against your mother, kill her and then rule as the first ever Queen of the realm... All out of a pettiness stemming from an argument you had with a storm who you believe was your dead father telling you, he never believed in you?”

After a moment’s pause, I blinked and responded, “I feel like you’re just repeating what I’ve already told you in a disbelieving tone.”

“Are you trying to drive me insane?” He suddenly snapped.

“No. Are you trying to drive me insane?” I snapped back. “What part of my plan are you not understanding?”

His head dropped back against the muddy ground, “I think I liked it better when you wanted to kill me and kept your ‘plans’ to yourself.”

“You’re rude. I’m telling your father you’re an asshole.”

“I’m sure you’ve said worse things about me to him than that, Cell Bait.”

I cackled, “Wayyyy worse things, Lilly. Way. Worse.”

—-

Y’all this whole scene...I wrote this all day Monday and stayed up editing until 3am to post it right now. I feel like I lost some sanity writing this but hey! The progress between Cillian and Macha is getting realllll.

As always, feel free to comment your thoughts on the chapter!

Smooches, Verbage💋

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