The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)
Chapter Twenty- Three: Breakdown or Breakthrough

“When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming.”

Grinning, I shifted around in the hard plastic chair and murmured the last three words that the crazy blue fish uttered. Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Bobbing my head around to the little tune, I went to grab the remote when the chain around my waist tightened. Huffing, I scooted forward in my seat and tried to grab it off the low table in front of me. The stupid chain linking my cuffs and the waist chain was barely long enough to drink from a cup. And even then, I had to curl over a little and bend my head to get a sip at all.

The other inmates in their colorful gray outfits milled about the room, wandering from place to place with nothing to do. They cursed and shoved at each other when they made eye contact or when someone else wandered a bit too close. Groups whispered to each other under their breath as newer inmates looked around at everything in hidden fear. Every single Fae locked up in Slykhelm was the absolute worst of the worst. There wasn’t a Fae in here who hadn’t committed some type of atrocity but unlike me, most of them weren’t chained up every second of the day. Or had their faces blurred.

Which meant that in the minds of the other inmates, because I was one of the longest living inmates in the history of the prison and the extent of my sentencing tattoos, I was a target. A lot of them came in with the bright idea of going after the Fae with the deadliest reputation to gain respect or a sort of protection. They quickly realized that coming after me was a very very unwise decision but that didn’t stop groups of them from trying. Namely the Unseelie.

From the corner of my eye, I watched as the inmates shuffled quickly from the room while another group entered. Sliding the back off the remote, I leaned back into my chair and snapped the edges off so it had a point. Relaxing my form, I placed my attention where it belonged. On the little blue fish swimming around the screen who reminded me of myself.

The soft clip of their lace-less shoes caused the hair on the back of my neck to raise in alarm as they came up behind me. Still bobbing and humming, I curled my hands around my little plastic knife and waited for the ringleader to speak. The talking turtles on a current had just popped up on screen when a woman stepped up and blocked it. Ignoring her, I tipped my head to the side to see the movie and then sighed in irritation when she moved to block me again.

Slouching in the hard chair, I raised my eyes to look into her yellow ones, “Move.”

“You know, I’ve been hearing a lot about a faceless Unseelie. Gotta say, I’m not impressed.”

“Gotta say, I didn’t ask.”

“They say you’re crazy, that true?”

“I don’t know, is the sky blue?”

The woman folded her iron bracelet clad hands in front of her as she spread her feet, “Your sentence might make you think your tough shit but you’re not. Out there you might’ve been someone but in here? You nothing. I run this prison now.”

Snorting, I flicked my gaze down to the silver sentencing tattoo that ran up her arm and touched her neck, “What’d you do? Burn down a tavern?”

“With an entire family inside. I don’t like when people don’t give me what I’m owed.”

Blinking, I looked around at the other Fae around me with similar in-length sentencing tattoos, “You guys really shouldn’t go around starting shit. Your sentences are laughable.”

“Listen bitch, I don’t care who you think you are or how long you’ve been here. Everyone in this prison pays fealty to me starting today. And it’s time for you to pay up.” She snapped, yellow eyes flaring.

I tightened my hands on the plastic at the word fealty but grinned when I asked, “Or what?”

“Excuse me?”

Leaning forward, I repeated, “Or what? What are you going to do to me, Babes?”

“I’m not scared of you like everyone else, pay me or die.” She growled, pointing a sharpened iron nail at me.

I laughed, looking between it and her, “Bitch, I really hope you know how to use that.”

“Oh, don’t worry. We all do.” She replied with a smile.

A quick glance at the others around me showed that they all held a sharp piece of iron. Acting fast, I raised my chained feet and slammed the short table into the woman’s shins. The second she stumbled into the T.V., I was already up and gripping the plastic chair in my closely bound hands. Laughing, I swung the chair wildly and clipped one male in the head before striking the third in the gut. Shuffle charging the fourth one, I used the chair to pin him up against the wall with my body weight against it as my hands wrestled the long iron nail from his.

Grunting from the impact of someone hitting me from behind, I had just ripped the long nail from the male when something pierced my back. A sharp object ripped into my flesh just above my right hip multiple times sending searing pain shooting through my nervous system. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I raised my hands and stabbed the iron into the neck of the male I had pinned. Pivoting quickly on my heel, I drove the same needle into the heart of the female behind me at the same time as she sunk her weapon into my gut.

“Cell Bait?”

Hunching over a little from the wounds to my back and stomach, I kept my eyes on the other two across the room from me while the bodies dropped to the floor. I gave the pair of assholes a tired smile as the blood loss began to set in, “What’d I say?”

The yellow eyed bitch snorted, “Your gonna die before you touch us.”

Panting, I tossed my hair out of the way and smirked, “I’m going to carve your eyes out.”

Said eyes narrowed before she charged me and took me down around the waist. Back colliding with the hard concrete of the floor, I groaned in pain while an odd tightness overcame my wrists. Blocking out the pain blooming across my cheekbones from the force of her hits, I focused on unlocking the cuffs

The pressure around my wrists increased further the harder I worked to free myself. With a snick, the cuffs fell- The yellow eyed woman’s weight shifted as she sat back on my stomach to raise the nail over her head. Except it wasn’t the yellow-eyed female on top of me anymore but Cillian with an iron stake.

“Macha, wake up.”

No, no, no, this isn’t what happened. My cuffs fell off, I got them off and then I carved this bitches eyes out like I promised. Cillian wasn’t there and I got free. Panic set in from the confusion of this new set of events. With wide eyes, I watched the stake plunge downwards and tried to pull my hands up to block it. But something like a heavy weight pinned them to ground causing me to struggle harder in order to protect myself.

“Macha.”

No. I thought, watching the stake get closer to my heart. NO. This isn’t what happened. I won this fight. I’m not going out like this. I am not going out like this! Not again!

“Macha!”

Eyes snapping open, I used the other persons hold on my wrists to pull up and slam my forehead into theirs.

“Fuck.”

Rolling off the wooden cot, I dove for the small piece of sharp plastic only to be tackled to the floor. Struggling against their grip, I bucked and twisted as the person above me fought to keep me pinned. Blue hair flew up and further obstructed the view of my attacker but I managed to wedge a leg in between us and flip them over me. The second my wrists were free, my chains scraped against the concrete floor as I scrambled to grab the makeshift weapon.

“Damnnit, Cell Bait. Stop!”

The plastic was inches away from my fingertips when hands grabbed hold of my ankles and flipped me onto my back. Frustrated, I screamed, “Get the fuck off me, you piss eyed bitch!”

“Cillian, what the hell are you doing? Get off of her!”

The hands around my ankles tightened and pulled me closer to them as another voice sounded out, “Get out, Bria! She wouldn’t want anyone seeing this.”

“No way, get off-”

“I’m going to rip your eyes out with my bare hands! Get off of me!” I raged, my chains jangling from the wild swinging of my fists at the person holding me.

Knees pressing into my thighs, their hands struggled to grab onto mine when they suddenly roared out, “Bria, get the fuck out! No one comes in this tent without my okay, that’s an order!”

“But-”

“Out!”

Using their distraction, I surged up and sunk my sharpened teeth into the side of their wrist.

“Mother- That is it!”

A hand roughly took hold of my hair and yanked my head to the floor as a forearm was placed tightly across my chest. Successful pinned to the floor, I restlessly struggled against the person above me while trying to get my teeth into them again.

“Macha, enough. It’s me, it’s Cillian.”

Panting, I clawed at their arms and tried to squint through my hair, “I’ll kill you, you lying whore!”

“You had a nightmare, Macha. It’s me, I’m here with you. You’re okay.” When I continued to fight, their hand left my hair to shove the blue strands out of my eyes, “Look at me. What color are my eyes?”

Bucking my hips to try dislodging them, I released a scream of frustration when they didn’t budge.

“Look at me!” The person roared, the pressure on my wrists increasing. “What color are my eyes, Cell Bait? Look! Really, look.”

Stilling slightly at the sudden familiarity that the nickname struck within me, I looked at the person above me. Blinking, I shook my head and really looked at the silver eyes staring down at me, “C...Cillian?”

He released a heavy breath of relief before nodding, “It’s me, Cell Bait.”

Confused, I shook my again, “No, no, I was in….” I cut myself off when my eyes caught on the fur covered bed to my right and the carpeted floor around us.

“You had a nightmare, Macha. It was just a nightmare”

“But I saw- felt-I was-it was real, Cillian. It was real.” The tight feeling around my wrists had my attention gliding over to see that there were no thick iron cuffs binding them together but Cillian’s hands pinning them to the floor.

Cillian spoke softly as he relaxed his hold on me, “No, Cell Bait. It was only a nightmare. You’re okay.”

I…wasn’t in prison. No one was trying to jump me. I wasn’t shackled from wrists to ankles. I-I was in a tent surrounded by the people who wanted me as their Queen. I wasn’t in a cell block watching the same movie for the hundredth time just to hear that one line keeping me from getting lost in the pain. But I thought I was. I’d been awake and still believed that I was in that prison. I was never going to be free of it. I was never going to be free.

I couldn’t go on like this, what if I attacked a guard or someone else and I killed them? I wasn’t mentally fit to be the Queen my people needed. Something was going to give and I was going to hurt someone or worse, multiple people. But most importantly, I was tired of living like this. I didn’t want these Divines damned nightmares anymore...I wanted help.

Gaze scanning over everything that wasn’t Cillian, I tried to get my emotions under control. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. My eyelids fluttered in slight panic as the little tune didn’t cause a flood of calmness to consume me. It wasn’t working. Why wasn’t it working?

One of Cillian’s hands cupped the side of my face and gently turned it back towards his, “What isn’t working?”

Swallowing thickly, I felt my eyes begin to burn as I looked up at him again and whispered, “I can’t swim anymore.” I’d been on the fraying edge of insanity for too long and I was finally drowning. And it was more terrifying than I had ever thought it would be.

Silver brows twitched before he stressed, “You don’t need to swim when you have me, Cell Bait. I’d never let you drown.”

The uncharacteristic softness in his eyes had my jaw tightening and the burn in my eyes intensifying. It was time I took the life line he’s repeatedly offered me. It was either that or spend the rest of my life rocking in a corner somewhere. Pulling my face away from his tender grip, I stared blankly at the empty space beneath the bed, “Get out.”

“No. Not until-”

I pressed my cheek harder against the carpeted floor and forced my voice to sound normal despite the tears sliding over my nose to hit the ground, “I am fully aware that I can’t continue like this and for the people, I will allow you to help me. But for right now, in this moment, I need you to leave.” When he made no move to get off of me and leave the tent, I whispered brokenly, “Lilly, please. Just get out.”

I didn’t want him to see me completely break down. If I didn’t have anything else, I still had my pride. A long moment passed where his eyes burned into the side of my face before he finally rose to his feet and stepped over me. Laying in the same position he left me in, I kept my eyes trained to the space beneath the bed and listened to his footsteps get further and further away.

The cloth of the tent entrance whispered open and I felt his presence pause in the threshold, “...I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

Squeezing my eyes closed, I gave no response as my bone deep grief raced over my nose and cheek to the floor. The second I knew that he had left, I ripped a fur covering off the bed and turned on my side. Hugging it tightly to my chest, I curled in on myself and bit into the fur to muffle my sobs.

Tonight, I’d release it all. And tomorrow…tomorrow, I’d get help.

—

My poor baby😭😭😭😭 But it’s more than past time for her to get some help. 😭I’m so proud, lmao. She’s really getting her shit together. Oh! And that ‘Lilly’ moment!? That hit me like a stack of bricks!

As always, feel free to comment your opinions on the chapter! Silent readers, I appreciate your views!

Smooches, Verbage💋

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