Shadow
Chapter Seventeen

Idonia Torbet

"You what?" I watch as furry rages in the back of his eyes. I knew admitting this to him would make him angry. Maybe that anger will help him survive the next few days in the darkness. "You really hate me. Danal said you hated me but I didn't believe it until now. You hate that we're mates and you hate me."

"I don't hate you! I hate what you are!"

"What I am and who I am are the same thing," he says back but I shake my head.

"No, it's not," I cry back at him. My eyes burn with wild tears I refuse to shed. "Being Rae and being Khanel are two different things."

"My title, really? That's why you hate me?"

"I don't hate you!" I yell back, trying to get him to understand my emotions. The same emotions I don't fully understand myself. "I don't."

"No," he scoffs. "You just want me dead."

"No, I said, in the beginning, I wanted you dead. Not anymore. Rae, please," I step closer to him, only for my mate to retreat from me. "That's not how I feel now."

"You're missing the point, Idonia," his voice turns cold, his body turns rigid, and this head turns away from me. "You will never love me, not the way mates should."

"I can try."

"You've been trying and you've failed."

It all hits me then, he's going to reject me. He's going to turn me away, send me home, and leave me on Theris. It's what I wanted, what I thought would be best. Now, it's all different. The thought of being with Rae's subtle smiles, his longing eyes, and his fiery touches; the thought drives me crazy. Without him, my life would be the same as it always was. Mundane and boring.

Sure I liked that life, but Rae had been showing me a whole new one. A life where I'm appreciated for my hard work and strength. We're I will be listened to and respected not only for my position a day Khanelea but as a warrior.

"Rae..." my voice is barely audible, but he hears me.

Before he can reply, which I didn't know if he was going to or not, the building shakes. Night has fallen completely and the stone walls shake with a grand roar.

The call of the shadowbeasts.

Rae grabs his long sword and goes for the door. "Rae, you can't."

My hand grabs his arm, which he quickly flings off. The burning touch leaving as quickly as it came, "The hell I can't. The sooner I kill one of those damn things the sooner we can go home."

"You kill them in their territory. They're hunting right now, you don't disturb their hunt."

"You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do, not anymore." His words sting with the hurt I know he's intentionally trying to cause.

Tapping, scrapping, is heard from outside our window. The shadowbeast is beside us, below the window. It climbs, I can hear its claws ascending the wall, scaling it. Rae watches the window, then me. In seconds, he has his arm around me and pulls me closer to the fire, the furthest point from the window.

I yelp at the movement, but his broad hand quickly covers my mouth. He holds me there, tight to his chest, while heavy beathing passes over our window. The shutter clatters, it's only wood. A lycan could easily break it, I have no doubt a hungry shadowbeast would have any problem. But it passes us by, crawling over the wall to the next closed window.

Rae and I both let out sighs of relief. His hand removes itself from my mouth, but his arm stays taut on my waist. His chest rises and falls quickly against my back as his breath fans my neck.

A loud bang causes me to take a sharp intake of air and clutch his arm. "Rae--"

"Quiet," he barks out. I look up and watch as his eyes scan the room. Specifically, watching the wall the shadowbeast is currently scaling. Rae's scent engulfs me and calms the racing in my heart. He takes a long, deep, inhales as well, closing his eyes and relaxing into my body. Nothing calms mates more than each other's scent.

Another loud cry comes from the shadowbeast, threatening his prey to show itself. Rae jolts slightly, pulling me back to the opposing wall. "They hunt by heat?"

"And smell," I whisper to him. "They're blind."

"What?" he says s little too loudly. We hear more steps in our direction which makes me grab onto his shorts, digging my nails a little too much.

"They are born and raised in darkness; shadowbeasts cannot see. They hunt by smell and heat," I inform him lowly and harshly. The fact that he didn't know this, that his Viker probably didn't know this, is just another reason I shouldn't have brought them up here. They will get themselves killed and I will have to return home alone...

Again.

Or maybe this time I will die with them. That only seems right. All the Viker died with me on the last hunt. They never got to see their mates or pups again. It's only fair that I die this time, besides my mate as I bring him to his demise.

"Anything else?"

"Exceptional hearing."

"I got that, smartass." I can't help but snort at his comment.

"That thing will probably be here all night. We should try and sleep," I tell him, starting for the bed. Only his arm holds me back. It keeps me close to his body and digs into my ribs.

"No, stay," he bites out. "We can't sleep."

"We need to," I explain to him calmly. "We both need sleep."

"Idonia," he burrows his head into my neck and inhales deeply. "I can't."

"What?"

"What if I can't do this? Will you reject me if I can't kill these things?"

"I won't reject you," I tell him, running my fingers over the arm that is holding me so close. "I want you."

His lips feather across my neck, making flames dance across my skin before being replaced with gooseflesh. "What if I die? What if you die?"

"I'm not leaving the shadow without you," I assure him as I grip his arm tight. "I wanted you to be gone at first, but I was just scared of what my life would be like with you."

"I should have assured you sooner about this all. It must be hard to face leaving your family. Especially Olen," he mumbles the words into my ear before kissing the spot right behind it.

"I'm terrified to be a Khanelea, Rae. It terrifies me."

He chuckles lightly, "You terrify me."

"What?"

"The fact that you have faced the shadowbeasts before, killed one even, you are so strong and it scares me."

"These things still scare me," I admit to him while another growl reverberates through the air. "I heard them tear apart those men, all five of them. It was horrifying. At the same time, I know that if you do this--"

"The northern Masters and Aerals will respect me as their Khannun. I know."

"My intentions were terrible, but this will be beneficial to both of us and Bethley Isles," I admit to him. "But we need to try and sleep."

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