Seer
Chapter 12

Brenda

I can’t get over how much effort Ron has put into this camping trip. We’re sitting on our lounge chairs, eating some delicious sandwiches he pulled out of a cooler. It’s warm here in the desert, but being November it isn’t hot. Also, he has set up a big shade canopy, and with the little breeze that’s blowing it’s very comfortable.

The day is beautiful, the sky is a vibrant blue with a few fluffy clouds overhead, and the silence is profound. Except for a few other campers in the distance who are probably also here to watch the meteor shower later, we can hear only nature all around us. The buzzing of insects, the crunch of the dirt if we take any steps around our campsite, the calls of birds.

We’ve been chatting comfortably all morning. About everything. Politics, the international situation, the war on terror, the kids, our friends, our jobs, books we’ve read, the sky. It’s so pleasant to just spend time, unhurried, nowhere to go, nothing to do except enjoy each other’s company.

And I do. I look over at him and feel the love rush over me. He keeps his light brown hair much shorter now - I think with it thinning so much on top he has decided it would be easier to just clip it very short, almost a buzz cut. I’m glad he’s not the kind of guy who would fuss with a combover to pretend that he isn’t going bald. I love him the way he is. He smiles over at me, the light blue eyes that I love so much crinkling around the corners. He’s wearing a t-shirt and shorts, showing his wiry frame, all sinew and muscles. His tall, thin physique has never much changed in all the years I’ve known him.

“You know, I think it’s coming up on fifteen years since we met?” I ask him, sipping the ice tea that he packed for me.

He chuckles. “Yeah, that’s true. Wow, I really am getting old. I’ll be 40 next year, you know. Hope you can stand hanging around with an old geezer.” He looks sideways at me.

I reach over and rub his shoulder. “You’re not so old. And I’m not far behind, you know. I’m getting up there too.”

“Ha! A mere babe, just in your mid-thirties still. I’m robbing the cradle!”

He leers hilariously at me, then leans over to give me a kiss. It was meant to be a joke, but the moment his lips touch mine I feel the spark that has been happening more and more, every time we make contact. I clumsily set down my bottle, and don’t care when I hear it topple over. Before I know it I have joined him on his chair, am up on his lap, wrapping my arms around him, pressing my mouth frantically to his. I hear his soda hit the ground.

He’s surprised by my sudden attack, but quickly assumes control. He reaches around behind my neck to cradle my head, his hand covered by my hair. He adjusts me on his lap with the other hand, and I feel how excited he has suddenly become. He opens his mouth, prodding mine open as well, and I accept his tongue with a thrill. I squirm on him, and he gasps into my mouth and tightens his hold on me.

We are interrupted by other campers walking past our campsite, presumably on the way to the primitive bathroom. We laugh and break off the kiss, leaning our foreheads against each other breathlessly.

He doesn’t let go of me, though. He keeps his arms around me, holding me in his lap. I don’t want to let him go either. I lean against his chest and relax for a while. He kisses the top of my head. “I love you,” he whispers in my ear.

“I love you too.”

Ron

I know it really is true. I have been waiting for this day for so long now, afraid that it would never come. But she loves me, as I love her. She wants me, as I want her. My heart is so full I feel like it will burst. I need to make this official. Later, though. I have envisioned asking her late at night, with the dark sky overhead, hopefully with shooting stars zipping across to punctuate the moment.

It’s okay. I will wait. Out here in the quiet of the desert, it feels like we have all the time in the world.

Natalie

After the movie ends, I remember about my parents and ask Angel in my head how they are doing on their camping trip. “Extremely well, my darling,” he tells me, and I can tell that he thinks something about it is funny. “At the moment, actually, they are kissing each other.”

“Ew,” I think to him, “great but I don’t need to know any more about that.” I’m glad they’re having a good time, but really.

When we head back upstairs, I realize that Timothy has that focused look on his face, like he does when he is right in the middle of an experiment. Oh boy! I wonder what has happened?

“Was it actually working?” I ask Timothy as we get back into his room. I could see Angel watching him carefully during the whole movie, and I know that Timothy had told Guardian to go ahead and try to talk to him.

Timothy nods. He looks amazed, but not surprised. “Yes. I knew that eventually I’d figure out a way to do it. I think we made good progress.”

“This is so exciting! So, like, could you hear him?” Oh my gosh, is Timothy going to be able to just talk to Guardian now?

“No,” he said, sitting down on the floor next to his bed and opening the notebook to start writing notes. “I couldn’t actually hear anything. But I know I was definitely feeling him there. That’s right, isn’t it, Angel?”

“Yes, Timothy, you were detecting the presence of Guardian. Much more so than when you felt his emotions as we first started the experiment regarding the communication of Guardians.”

Angel seems very emotional himself, like he is excited by Timothy being able to feel Guardian. But also, he seems… I don’t know, worried about something? “What is it, Angel? What’s wrong?” I ask him in my head.

“There is nothing wrong, my dear. Timothy has continued to make brilliant discoveries. His efforts have been remarkably successful. I am somewhat concerned, however, that the knowledge you will both be gaining as a result of this learning may have consequences in your lives that cannot be foreseen.”

That’s so strange. Why would Angel be worried about what we are discovering? I tell Timothy what he said, and Timothy looks over at me with a puzzled look on his face.

Timothy asks, “Is it because you think it will be a big change for a person to figure out how to talk to their Guardian?”

Angel takes a much longer time to answer than normal. I think he must be talking to Guardian about it. Finally he says, “Yes, Timothy, that is part of it. Also that you may be gaining a unique understanding of the world around you that may influence your beliefs.”

“What do you mean beliefs?” I ask. “You mean like believing in monsters? Or in God?”

Angel waits again, looking over to the side where I know Guardian must be. After a while he says, “I think it would be best to proceed as normal, and I will answer your questions about this experiment as best as I can. I wish for your understanding to come from within yourselves, children, not from ideas that I insert into this process.”

Honestly, this is so weird. What is going on? “Why don’t you want to answer, Angel?”

But Timothy answers. So many times he has figured out things before I can. He’s so wonderful that way. “I think it’s like he’s told us before - he can’t really tell us new stuff, he can only help explain what we are learning. That’s fine, we’ll get to the answers we need, Natalie, don’t worry.”

“Okay,” I say, still feeling like Angel is being weird, and wait to see what Timothy is going to ask about.

Timothy looks at his notes, then sits with his legs crossed and his elbows on his knees for a few minutes, thinking. We wait for him. We all know his mind is busy putting together the questions he wants to ask.

“Why,” he finally asks, “did it work better this time than when I tried before?”

Angel nods. He expected this question. “Timothy, the first time you attempted to hear Guardian, it appeared that you were trying to make it happen by force. You were attempting to use your mind as a type of tool, trying to grab hold of Guardian’s mind. Is that how you perceived what you were doing?”

After I repeat that, Timothy says, “Yes, I think so. Like I was trying to reach up onto a high shelf to get something up there.” He thinks for a minute. “Remember when we were trying to figure out how you guys could yell to each other, and Natalie said the way you used energy was like trying with all her might to jump up high?”

Angel nods, and I tell Timothy, “Yes, he remembers.”

“It was like that. Like I was trying to pull on Guardian, and make him come to me. Like this.” He demonstrates, by lifting his hand up, and twisting it while pulling it back towards him, like he’s grabbing onto a rope. “I was trying to use everything in me to yank Guardian’s thoughts to me. I was concentrating so hard, I think that’s why I got a headache and got so tired.”

“Your analysis is very good. You were trying to reach something, to take something, but it is something that a human can never take. Although your Guardian did wish for you to hear him, the effort you were making was not ideal for that purpose.”

Timothy thinks about that. “But,” he says, “I know it was doing something. Like, I could feel it, almost like I was taking a piece of Guardian.” I can tell that it is hard for him to describe it. “Has anybody else ever tried that? That grabbing of a mind?”

Angel says, “Yes, dearest Timothy, but I do not know of a time when a human tried to do this to their Guardian. There are no other humans I have heard of who know about Guardians, unless they are a Seer like Natalie.”

Timothy asks, “Well, if they weren’t trying to grab their Guardian, what were they doing? Trying to grab another human’s mind?”

Angel nods. “Yes,” he begins, but then he doesn’t say anything else, even though I know he wasn’t finished. He seems reluctant again, like he doesn’t really want to be talking about this stuff.

I’m kind of worried about him. I ask him in my head, “Are you ok? I feel like this is making you worried or sad?”

He tells me, “I am sorry, my darling. Yes, I am well, but it does worry me a bit to be revealing some information to you and Timothy. You are very young. You are both such sweet children, and sometimes the knowledge I have may be difficult for you to understand.”

I tell Timothy, “This is hard for Angel to talk about. He’s worried we’re going to learn something that might bother us since we are just kids.”

Angel smiles at me in a sad sort of way and shrugs. “I will, however, answer all of your questions honestly. I can never deny you anything.”

Timothy asks, “Well, can we keep going? I still have a lot more questions, and I’m not afraid to learn stuff that kids don’t usually know. I think it is always best to know the truth about the world, even if it isn’t what we expect. Isn’t that right?”

Angel looks over at Guardian, then says, “Of course you are correct, Timothy. The truth might be difficult, but an understanding of the fundamental nature of reality should never be harmful. What are your other questions, my children?”

“Yeah,” I tell Timothy, “Angel says we can keep going, and that understanding the truth about reality shouldn’t hurt us.”

“Ok, thank you,” Timothy says. “So, you said that other people have tried that grabbing method of reaching the minds of other humans? Does it work with humans? Even if it doesn’t work with Guardians?”

“Yes,” Angel says, still seeming like he would rather not talk about this. “Very rarely a human is able to use that method to ‘grab’ the mind of another human. It is an unfortunate occurrence, and is usually used for wrongdoing, for control. It harms the human who uses the method, by making them more desirous of controlling others. Once they begin, they may become obsessed with the power it brings. It harms the human being controlled as well. It is a tragic event to behold.”

I tell all that to Timothy, and I’m starting to understand why Angel wouldn’t want to tell us about this stuff. I ask him “What do their Guardians think about it?”

“As I have told you before, when a human takes action to strengthen their soul, their Guardian is pleased. When a human uses this aggressive method of reaching the minds of others, it greatly strengthens their soul, even if the actions they are taking are objectively wrong. The soul grows and the Guardian approves.”

Wow. This does sound kind of scary. The idea of people going around grabbing other people’s minds and being mean to them is awful, especially since it can make their souls stronger by doing it. I can see why Angel didn’t want to tell us about it.

Timothy seems very interested in this, but in a scientific way. He doesn’t seem like he thinks it is very scary, just new information he has learned.

“Well,” he says, “fine. We have learned that the grabbing method should not be used on Guardians because it can give you a headache, and it shouldn’t be used on people because it can make you do wrong things. So,” he shrugs, “I’ll just make sure not to do it that way any more.”

Angel smiles, the first happy look I’ve seen since we started talking about this. “My dear boy, Guardian and I are always so impressed with how immediately you comprehend, and how clearly you see the world. Your practicality and insight are a wonder to behold. You are a delight to us both.”

I grin as I tell that to Timothy. I love having Angel approve so much of my best friend.

Timothy grins too. “Well, thanks, I guess.” He writes some notes, then says, “Ok, back to the question of why the new method worked better. When I just sort of made my mind be quiet and wait for Guardian to reach me, rather than trying to yank him down to me. It wasn’t like pulling something to me, it was more like…” he thinks of a way to describe it. “It’s like the difference between grabbing something and chomping down hard to take a big bite out of it, and just opening my mouth and waiting for someone to feed me, like a baby.”

“Again,” Angel says, “you have found a good analogy for the action you are describing. A Guardian’s thoughts are never subject to the control of a human. A human can no more grab the mind of a Guardian than they could grab a Guardian physically. When a Guardian whispers words of support and love to their human, it is a gift, that can only be accepted. Never seized. Much like your analogy of the baby being fed, who must wait for their parent to bring them food, rather than going to the kitchen and cooking their own dinner.”

Angel waits after each phrase so I can repeat this all directly to Timothy, who listens intently and writes notes about what he’s learning. I giggle when I tell Timothy the part about the baby cooking its own dinner.

“Normally, of course,” Angel continues, “the human does not hear their Guardian even when the Guardian is communicating to them. Only rarely will a human receive the emotional support that their Guardian is trying to transmit, by feeling calmer or more peaceful during times of stress. What you felt was different. Both Guardian and I knew that you were actually perceiving the true presence of your Guardian, above and beyond the emotional contact that you had felt before.”

Timothy is intensely focused on this lesson. I am trying my hardest to follow along as I translate all of Angel’s words exactly, since I’m not sure I even understand a lot of it. If I don’t get the meaning of Angel’s words, I try not to use my own summary of what he has said. I’m glad that Timothy seems to be following. He says “So, I was feeling Guardian actually there with me. Not just emotions. And I could tell that was what was happening, that it was different from before.”

Angel says, “The difference in your case is, I believe, threefold. First, unlike other humans you are aware that your Guardian exists. Second, your Guardian was deliberately increasing the level of energy to direct his thoughts at you. Third, and possibly most importantly, you had discovered the method of opening your mind to the communication.”

Timothy looks up after he writes this all down, interested. “Why do you say the third part was the most important?”

Suddenly, I feel like Angel has gotten worried again about saying too much. I feel like this conversation has been awfully hard on him, and I wish I could give him a hug. I don’t want him to be worried about us. “It’s ok, Angel,” I tell him, “you can tell us anything. Please don’t worry about whether it’s ok for us to know stuff. Timothy always understands, and helps me understand, even when the stuff you’re telling us is strange. We’ll figure it out and be okay.”

Angel looks at me with a face so full of love that I almost want to cry. “For you to be the one to comfort me, my darling, is a privilege I could never have imagined. Thank you, dearest. I will try to remember that you and Timothy have always been able to accept the knowledge from our conversations, and have always benefited from your learning. My love…” he stops talking, almost like a human who is too emotional to keep speaking.

I have to wipe my eyes a little and get control over my voice before I tell all that to Timothy. I always feel everyone’s emotions, but especially Angel’s. Today they are so strong that it feels like they are my own, and he is very moved by what is happening.

When Timothy hears that Angel needed to be comforted, he is even more determined to figure out what is going on. “Angel, and Guardian, Natalie is right. Whatever you have to tell us is fine. We want to learn the truth about everything. That’s what science is for, learning the truth. And we know you are both here to help us. It will be fine.”

He waits a second, to make sure they’ve heard him, then says, “Can we keep going?”

Angel smiles, sort of sadly. “Of course.”

“All right,” Timothy said, “I asked why you think the third part was the most important. The part about me opening my mind.”

“Because, my beloved children, that is something that most Guardians are familiar with. It is the method that is used when occasionally humans who are praying feel that they are sensing what some religious leaders call “the presence of God.”

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