I wake up with my face buried in Vanessa’s pussy, the addictive scent and taste of her surrounding me. While half my leg is hanging off the mattress and a pillow under my head would be more comfortable, I’m in no hurry to move.

She came on my tongue at least three times before we both crashed right around sunrise.

The entire night was like an erotic wet dream. One I want to repeat at least once before I die.

My anger at Vanessa faded away as soon as she cuddled up to my back and asked me to fuck her. I knew she didn’t mean it, that she was just so desperate for my forgiveness that she would offer me the world. She would’ve given me herself, everything I’ve wanted and everything she’s refused, as a peace offering.

And I thought about taking her up on the offer for all of about five seconds. Yes, I wanted to finally sink inside of her, but afterward, she would’ve hated herself, then hated me, ruining everything between us beyond repair. Shit is already fraying as it is.

Besides, I don’t want our first time to be a compromise to end a fight. I want Vanessa to come to me on her own, ready, and willing to be mine in every way possible, physically unable to wait another second.

Part of me hopes that day doesn’t come. What would be the point of her surrendering to me? I sure as fuck can’t keep her after our seventy-six days are up. It would be wrong to let her give herself to me so completely while knowing I’m going to hurt her when I push her out the door.

So, I’ll gladly accept her mouth instead. And I love eating her pussy as much as I know she enjoys sucking me off. Other women have claimed to enjoy oral through the years, but only Vanessa sucks my cock for as long as I want her to, forgoing her food, comfort, and everything else to please me. She may make me feel like a god, but that doesn’t make her anything less than a goddess.

Of all the women I’ve met, I never thought Vanessa would be the one to worship me like she thinks I actually deserve her time, her attention, and her adoration.

She actually cares about me. Not my money, or my power. The most stubborn woman I know has fucking feelings for me. No longer feelings of hate but…fondness.

While I wish it were love, I don’t think Vanessa would ever allow herself to love me.

If she did…no, not even then would I condemn her to my fucked-up world where there are enemies around every corner, every day, and the violence never ends. Her life would constantly be in danger, which is not something I could endure. I won’t let my wants and needs lead her to an early grave.

That’s how I know without a doubt in my mind that I’m in love with her.

Giving her up will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But keeping her by my side would be so damn selfish.

Glancing up at her naked sleeping form, she’s so damn beautiful it hurts. Her pink lips are still swollen and pouty from being used by me for hours during the night. Her brow is furrowed even at rest, as if she never stops worrying about shit even in her dreams. I don’t know what parts of her past haunt her, what happened that was so bad she didn’t feel safe without a loaded gun within reaching distance at night. And I doubt she’ll ever tell me either. Vanessa may have feelings for me, but she doesn’t trust me.

I’m surprised she’s even willing to let me meet her son.

Which reminds me, his plane is supposed to come in at noon. If I had to guess, it’s probably close to eleven or maybe even a little after. That means as much I want to, I can’t spend the day eating Vanessa’s pussy.

Crawling up over her, I place a soft kiss on her lower stomach, her left breast then right, before I reach her neck. She doesn’t so much as twitch in her sleep.

“Rise and shine, butterfly,” I whisper close to her ear.

“Uh-uh. Not yet,” she mumbles. My butterfly is not a morning person. Now I know why she worked the night shift.

“You wanted to pick up Cole from the airport, remember?”

“Oh, shit!” She sits up so fast we nearly headbutt before she rolls out of bed.

“You have plenty of time,” I assure her. “Flights are always delayed.”

“I have to shower,” Vanessa says as she heads for the bathroom.

So do I.

I lounge and wait for her to warm the shower up before I join her. She barely notices when I slip into the shower that’s big enough for at least two other people. No, Vanessa is too busy scrubbing the shampoo into the top of her head.

“We should’ve got more sleep last night,” she remarks, moving on to body wash while letting her hair rinse at the same time.

“We’ll sleep when we’re dead,” I reply before ducking under one of the showerheads to wet my hair.

When I open my eyes to reach for a bottle of shampoo, Vanessa is staring at me, frozen under the steaming water, her lips parted as if she forgot she’s in a hurry.

Knowing she’s physically attracted to me is one thing, but seeing the raw hunger on her face for me is one of my favorite things in the world.

“I think we could make time for a sixty-nine if you need it.”

After a few blinks, she’s back to washing herself, pretending she doesn’t want me.

“I wasn’t…that wasn’t…I was just thinking,” she stammers.

“Thinking about what?” I ask, turning to face her straight on, certain her eyes would lower to my cock.

“Fine!” she huffs when she turns her back to me, lifting her face to the stream. “It’s your fault that I constantly think about sex lately. You got me addicted to multiple orgasms, then took them all away…”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did this morning not put a dent in your orgasm deficiency I created?”

Keeping her back to me as she rinses off, she says, “I know you have other things on your mind. I get it. But you shut me out for weeks, and now I can’t help but wonder if you’ll do the same thing again. I don’t want to end up a victim in some sort of vicious cycle only you control.”

“I never stopped wanting you. And I wasn’t punishing you, not on purpose,” I admit to her. “It’s just…I felt guilty for even thinking about losing myself in you when I should be spending every waking moment searching for Madison.”

“Oh,” Vanessa says, pausing in her rinse. Turning to face me with her hair slicked back, darker from the water, drops dripping down her beautiful body, she says, “You can miss her and still keep living your life, Dante. I know you’ll never stop looking for her. And you shouldn’t, even if…” She winces before continuing with her remark. “Even if she doesn’t want to be found. But I don’t think Madison is in danger or she would’ve called you by now. So, try not to think the worst or let the search consume every second of your day out of fear. Do it out of love.”

“I’ll try,” I say, which is the best I can offer.

Vanessa nods, swiping the water from her face. “Are you coming with me to get Cole?”

“I was planning on it. Unless you don’t want me to come?”

“No, I do. He’s excited to meet you.”

“Really?” I ask with a grin.

“Yes. He thinks you’re a powerful, ruthless businessman.” Rolling her eyes, she says, “Don’t let it go to your head. What does he know? He’s basically still a child.”

“He’s twenty, right? The same age as…the same age as Madison.”

“That’s right. And he’s been living on his own for the past two years on the other side of the country.”

“It’s different for boys,” I tell her.

“A woman with a gun is just as dangerous as anyone else, right?” she says, reminding me of what I once said to her.

“If she doesn’t hurt herself trying to use it,” I mutter. “She knows the basics—all my girls do. But it’s been a few years. She may not remember.”

Coming over to me, Vanessa goes on her tiptoes to give me a quick kiss on the lips. “She remembers,” she says before she slips out of the shower to dry off.

I really hope she’s right about that.

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