Revolution (Risen Series Bk2)
Chapter 5 ~ Silly Fears

I'm really sorry it's taken so long! I've been focussing on editing Oria so I can send it to my publisher.

Anna clung onto Gideon like she'd never let go, her fingers curled like claws into the leather of his jacket. He was smiling and laughing, telling her he'd be fine and back soot but as I watched them, I couldn't hold the same belief. Folding my arms, I kept my head tall and tried to hide what I was feeling inside. There was no point in making a scene when nobody would listen and deep down, I knew this was one of our only chances to catch Airell.

Atanas was talking to Erik by the door with Nadia. Three stoic faces giving nothing away. Nadia promised me that Erik was one of her finest warriors and I didn't doubt it. He was a wall of muscle with a long curved blade strapped to his back and golden, eagle like eyes that missed nothing. I was glad he'd agreed to protect Gideon.

"I need you stay," Anna pleaded again, tears streaming down her face.

Padraig stiffened next to me and I awkwardly patted his arm. I knew he was jealous of how close Anna had gotten to Gideon but there was nothing romantic in it. Padraig looked down at me and huffed. I rolled my eyes. "He's been a good friend to her, that's all."

"He's given her false hope, that's what he's done," Padraig growled back. "She thinks without him here to teach her, she'll never get her magic back. They've been practising for weeks now with no results. She's in denial and Gideon leaving is going to force her to come to terms with the truth and I'll be left to pick up the pieces."

I didn't say anything in reply. My gaze flicked back to a hysterical Anna who's usually soft brown eyes looked wild and scared. Whatever had allowed Gideon to keep some magic after he was turned, Anna didn't have it. The hope of her magic returning was the only thing that was keeping Anna going. It was the only thing that had made her decide not to step into the sun. What would happen when Anna finally understood what those around her did? She wasn't a witch anymore. Just a vampire. A monster.

I worried that the appearance of my own strange powers would drive a wedge between us. The fear of losing Anna, my first true friend, because she resented me had me hating myself more than I already did. I wished it would disappear. I didn't want to be Moontouched, or magic, or a descendant of Leyla.

"It's time," Atanas called out and my jaw clenched when Nadia squeezed his hand.

Padraig managed to peal Anna from Gideon so he could grab the bag by his feet. He smiled as he came over to me but I couldn't find it in me to smile back.

"You haven't said goodbye to me," he said, hoisting the bag over his shoulder.

I stared at him, my gaze searching for a crack in his armour, any sign that he was as scared as I was. The knowing look in his eyes meant I'd been caught and I sighed heavily. "Sometimes, I wish I could read minds too."

"No you don't. If you knew what it was like to hear the thoughts of those around you, you would never wish something like that," he replied, his expression pained.

I nodded my understanding and then threw myself into his arms, hugging him tight. He laughed as he hugged me back and I could feel the burn of my mates eyes on both of us but I didn't care. He had Nadia.

"Promise me you'll come back," I whispered.

There was a long moment of silence before I pulled back and finally, in the tension of his smile, was the only sign of his fear. "I'll come back."

I could only nod as he walked away, feeling as though fingers were wrapped tight around my throat. Atanas spoke with Gideon and Erik, the murmur of his voice muffled as the white noise of panic rose. I wanted grab them both and pull them away from the door, to scream that this was a mistake.

"Are you okay, Shylah?" Anna asked from behind me.

I spun to face her and let out a shaky breath. "Of course."

Her head tilted to the side and her eyes narrowed. I couldn't fool her but I couldn't tell her of this unsettling certainty that something was going to go wrong. Instead of pushing me to talk, she looped her arm around mine.

"We could go get a drink," she suggested. "Then we'd be too drunk to care."

I laughed and shook my head. "Maybe later. I have another lesson with Una and Zena. You could come watch me frustrate them both?"

"As fun as that sounds, Anna and I have something to attend to," Padraig interrupted, giving Anna a stern look.

Anna tensed beside me, her face scrunching up and I knew straight away what it was about. Padraig was going to take Anna out to feed. I gave her hand a squeeze, catching her eye.

"It's not as bad as you're imagining, I promise. Hunting is exhilarating," I said, even though I knew it would bring her no comfort.

"You know that's not why I don't want to go," she argued, sliding her arm from mine to send a glare at Padraig. "I'm not going and you can't make me."

Padraig chuckled darkly. "Oh I think you'll find I can."

I growled, stepping between them both to point an accusing finger at him. Atanas began walking over with Nadia in tow, his aura tense. I took a step closer to Padraig before he could interrupt.

"You promised you wouldn't force her," I reminded Padraig. "There's bloodbags here, she can have one of those."

"You know she can't live off that. You're enabling her. I'm her maker, she'll do as I say."

My hand twitched with the urge to whallop him but I restrained only because I was aware people were watching us. It wouldn't look good for a Queen to hit one of the King's most trusted men. I took a deep breath, fighting back my anger. Luckily Atanas stepped in before things could book over, his hand on my arm drawing me back.

"She needs to do this, Libertas Mea. Padraig is right, he's her maker, let him take of her," he soothed, pulling me against his chest.

My gaze flicked from a tense Padraig to a terrified looking Anna. They were both right but the thought of anyone forcing her to do something she didn't want to, like I'd been made to throughout my whole life, had something ugly raise its head. I wanted to scream at them in her defence but the more I looked at Anna, the more I could see how weak she looked. I'd fooled myself into thinking she looked better, maybe because I refused to see otherwise.

Nodding, I relaxed. "Okay."

Anna looked like she was about to burst into tears as she realised I'd switched sides. Slowly, giving me a half smile as she passed, she mumbled, "You tried."

I hope she knew I really did. Atanas rubbed up and down my arm and placed a kiss on my shoulder.

"She'll be okay," he promised.

"I know." I sighed, my mood sinking lower when Una and Zena appeared at the stairs. "I have my own torture to go through."

Atanas chuckled, patting my rear. "Behave. They're trying to help."

I muttered something unsavoury but put on a smile that made my mate snort. Una looked as unhappy as I did but Zena clapped her hands together as she reached us.

"We're changing tactics today," she announced.

Great.

Another gentle spank from my mate and I huffed, wondering how much of my thoughts he could understand through our bond. He pushed me forward and whispered for me to have fun before leaving me alone with good cop and bad cop.

"What kind of change in tactics do you have in mind?" I asked warily, following the pair

Neither of them said anything and I rolled my eyes behind their backs, frowning when we headed towards the door to the basement instead of one of the sitting rooms like before. I hesitated a moment before taking the steps down after them, hating the way my chest constricted at the tight space. Zena glanced back at me as if making sure I was still there and I gave her an uneasy look.

We paused in the large open room where various barrels were kept and when they opened the door that lead to the cells, I baulked and quickly backpedaled. Sure, it was only a few days ago I'd come down here to privately panic but my anxiety had been running rampant since it was decided Gideon was leaving, my dreams plagued by flashbacks and nightmares. This was the last place I wanted to be right now.

When they both looked at me expectantly, I shook my head fiercely. "No."

"Don't be so quick to-"

"No," I repeated more firmly, taking another frantic step back.

Zena sighed and folded her arms while Una simply rolled her eyes in exasperation. She flicked the light on but it didn't make the cells look any less intimidating with its shackles and bars. "Your magic right now is purely instinctual. Placing you somewhere that makes those instincts take over is the only way to get a feel for your magic. You need to overcome these silly fears."

"Silly fears?" I hissed, my hands fisting by my sides.

Zena placed a hand on Una's arm but she shrugged it off and tilted her chin up. "Yes. But luckily for us your mental instability can be used to our advantage in getting your power to reveal itself."

Red tinted my vision, my fangs descending as boiling rage burned through my body. Instincts told me to go for her throat and I launched myself forward only to be met with what felt like a brick wall. That, along with the rush of magic that met my skin was enough of a shock to my system to bring me back to my senses. I glared at Una's raised hand as her power held me in place, and hated that she got the response she wanted as my own magic made itself known. My hands lit up in that strange silver light but faded as soon as she released me.

"That was an overly vampiric response," Una drawled, her magic pulling back.

"I did tell you that anger isn't the emotion we wanted to use. Fear was what unlocked it, that means for now, fear is the only way to draw it out," Zena replied glumly, frowning as she looked at me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, even though I was still imagining what sinking my fangs into Una's throat would feel like. What did witches blood taste like? As if she could sense where my thoughts lingered, Una backed up a little.

"We got a small glimpse of it," she pointed out.

I huffed, feeling the need to give myself a shake. "That's all anyone's ever seen of it. Glimpses."

Zena and Una shared a heavy look that made me bristle. There was a whole conversation in just that glance that I wasn't privy to. An annoyed growl left me and I wished I was anywhere else but here. It was obvious neither witch knew how to handle me, nor exactly how to help.

"You were right about one thing, Shylah," Una finally said. "It's not like any magic I've ever felt before. There's maybe only one person in the world that can tell us anything about it."

I raised a questioning eyebrow, taking delight that she'd admitted she was wrong. Una didn't know what to do, and I'd been right about my magic being different. "Who?"

"Leyla."

I laughed, cursing the fact everything always came back to her. Pointing at Zena, I tried to keep the bite from my tone. "You and Atanas knew Leyla had magic. You're telling me that neither of you know how? You don't know what she was capable of, how she wielded it, or where it came from?"

"She was very private about herself, who she was and where she came from," she said quietly and I could see that she wished she could help me.

"Even with Atanas?"

The question hung heavy in the air. My jealousy shone through those words more than I'd have liked and I turned away from them both. Wrapping my arms around myself, I wished I could have disappeared. I didn't want to find out anymore, I didn't want to be linked to Leyla like I was. It made doubts creep in. Deep seeded insecurities grew stronger, whispering that Atanas was drawn to me because her blood ran through my veins, however diluted.

My nails dug into my arm, leaving small crescent shapes embedded in my skin.

"Why don't we come back to this later?" Zena suggested, placing her hand on my back.

Stiffening, I shook my head. "We're running out of time. We need to get a handle on it now."

"What we had planned isn't going to be easy," Una warned.

I shrugged. Nothing had ever been easy for me so it didn't make much of a difference. The creak of the cell door opening drew my attention and I lifted my chin when Una motioned for me to enter. Determination filled me and I marched in with newfound resolve. My skin prickled as I crossed the threshold. I tried to keep my gaze from the shackles to stop memories that haunted me from rising, but I had the feeling that was exactly what these two witches wanted. This training session really would be torture.

"What exactly are you going to do?"

Zena looked incredibly guilty all of a sudden and it was then I realised that neither of them had stepped in with me. Dread knotted my stomach and before I could lunge for the door, it was slammed shut, the clank of lock echoing loudly. Panic rose.

"Una let me the fuck out of here!" I screamed, yanking at the door to no avail. These door were made to stand against even the strongest of vampires.

When the lights flicked off and I was left alone in the dark, I froze.

"Sorry, Shylah. It was go hard or go home and you said you were desperate so. . .hopefully you'll figure out how to get out using that pesky magic of yours," Una said from the other side. "We'll come back if you don't. Sit and practice what I taught you. Free yourself from what scares you and holds you back."

I pressed my forehead against the cool metal of the door, focussing on simply breathing in and out. Una wouldn't relent. I knew that. "Zena, please. Don't leave me in here."

My voice cracked, my hands trembling where they gripped the door handle. My imagination ran wild, making me believe I could smell the scent of rotting flesh and blood that had always haunted Airell's dungeons.

Zena mumbled an apology and I could hear their footsteps getting quieter before another door creaked shut. And I was left alone.

It took great effort to peal myself from the door and I moved my hand along the wall before slowly sitting down. I made sure my back was pressed firmly against the wall too, as if that could comfort me. As I slid down, I knocked the chains that rattled deafeningly loud in the dark. My body tensed up.

"You're safe," I whispered to myself.

But my mind didn't seem to believe me. Flashes of memories flickered in the dark. I could feel Airell's hands on my skin, hear his voice whispering by my ear. . .

Deep breath in, slow breath out.

"Shylah."

Covering my ears with my hands, rocking backwards and forwards, I repeated in my head that it wasn't real. But all the things that had been done to me, they'd been real. My scars burned deep into me as if they'd just been made by the touch of Airell's knives. Never random. Always strategically placed to cause pain but not maim.

Screaming in the dark.

"Not real," I muttered. "It's not real."

Were Una and Zena doing this? Or was I truly so deranged that this was all it took for my mind to break? I trembled, curling up tighter to make myself as small and insignificant as possible. My jaw clenched firmly, my eyes staying shut and I took another deep breath until a ghostly finger trailed over my cheek, something grabbed a handful of my hair and I screamed.

Something shook through me, exploding from my body, a flash of bright silver light that blinded me and shook the very foundation of the building. The door slammed open and I nearly cried in relief when Atanas ran towards me, my own terror mirrored in his eyes. I didn't stop shaking until his arms were wrapped tight around me and when his skin touched mine, a shiver went through me.

My hands were still glowing, lighting up the room for me to see I truly wasn't in Airell's dungeons. My mate's hands ran over me as if checking for injury and when he found none, he swung me up into his arms. His rage was palpable through the bond, murderous and vengeful. Hot.

"I'm going to kill Una," he seethed.

I didn't care about that. I just wanted to press myself close until I sunk into his warmth and forgot. He picked me up and I clung onto him, my fingers curling into his thick hair as I breathed in the scent of him. My skin felt as if a thousand tiny ants were crawling over me, a buzzing hum vibrating through my bones. Perhaps I'd snapped and had finally truly lost it.

Atanas carried me quickly out of the cells and up the stairs, ignoring the vampires that watches. It seemed the whole house was gathered in the halls, eyes wide and shocked as their King carried his trembling Queen away. There was no hiding my hands, their glow shining for everyone to see. I groaned into Atanas' chest as pain radiated from my palms like I'd dipped them in acid. The world span around me and my limbs turned to jelly, slipping from around Atanas.

Una appeared out of one of the rooms as my mate marched up the stairs, her green eyes widening when she saw us both. She gasped, "It worked."

Before I could react, I was placed on the ground and Atanas roared, flying towards the witch and pinning her to the wall by her throat, his fangs inches from her face.

"Stop!" I yelled weakly, pulling myself upright only to be ignored. His fingers tightened around her neck and she choked, shoving at his chest.

I went to yell again, but the sound came out in a piercing scream. My vision went black as a sharp pain shot through my skull, leaving a high pitched ringing in my ears. As it faded, I could make out Atanas' concerned face in front of me and I slumped against him once more.

"Shylah? Shylah, are you alright?" he rushed, cupping my face in his hands.

I nodded slowly, even though I wasn't entirely sure if I was.

"You can feel it now, can't you," Una rasped, rubbing her neck.

I glared up at her, my voice breathless as I spat out, "Yes. I can feel it."

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