My legs remained wobbly and weak even after we entered the library. Seeing it all whole and unbroken was a great boost, though, restoring my equilibrium. Full shelves and the small army of goblins were a few of my favorite things, and I had to take a moment to appreciate it all.

“Mera?” Shadow called back, noticing my pause. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah—” My voice broke, and he narrowed his eyes, concern filling his face. I waved him off. “Seriously, I’m fine. Just really happy.”

The furrow in his brow smoothed. “Ah, I understand. I promise to look after your libraries,” he said, knowing now what had me a hot mess. “No matter what happens, they’ll be protected as long as I live.”

I threw myself at him, finally able to trust that he’d catch me. “Thank you,” I murmured, pulling away. “I’ll let you in on a secret, though. They’re in my top ten favorite things, but they’re not number one.”

He kissed me, like he couldn’t help himself, and I was kind of falling in love with these random bursts of affection. “It’s no secret,” he murmured.

Is that right? “What or who do you think is number one?”

I mean, no one was going to say themselves, right?

“Me.”

Okay, sure, no one other than an arrogant Shadow Bastard. And while he wasn’t wrong, he could at least fake some humility.

“You’re definitely in the top ten,” I said, forcing my voice to remain even. “Along with Simone, Angel, Midnight, Inky, the library, and the lair. All the shadow creatures as well, along with the five morons you call best friends. And Gaster. And Sam—”

He cut me off with a sardonic burst of laughter. “Math isn’t your strong suit, is it?”

I smiled sweetly. “Some of you occupy the same spot in the top ten, so my math is actually quite correct.”

He shook his head at me. “I’m not sure my math and your math are the same sort of math.”

I thought on this. “You’re probably right, but that doesn’t mean my math is wrong.”

I was fairly certain he muttered actually, that’s exactly what it means, but there was no time to confirm and chastise him because he had started to lead me through the library, stopping only when we reached Angel’s door.

“How will we find her?” I asked as he reached out to swing the door open. “And what happens if I need to pee?”

Because honestly, I’d drunk a lot of water at lunch, and my bladder was feeling decidedly uncomfortable. Shadow really should learn to check that no one needed the bathroom before we set off to another world.

“We’ll go to Angel’s family land first,” he said, somehow not managing to sound annoyed with me. “Thanks to your bond with her, it should allow you entry again. And if you hurry your ass up, you can use the bathroom right now before we leave.”

My smile could have lit up a dark room. “Thank you! Seriously, thank you.”

I sprinted off, heading toward the nearest facilities. It might have been weird to have bathrooms in a place like this, built of fantasy beings and other worlds, but the truth was, most of them needed to use a bathroom for varying reasons, most of which I did not want to know about.

When I was done, I returned to find Shadow in the same spot, all but guarding the open doorway into the Honor Meadows. “Everything okay?” I asked, noting how hard he was staring into the swirling white abyss that existed on the other side of the doorway.

At the sound of my voice, his focus returned to me. “All good,” he said with a nod. “I was just checking out the Solaris System since it’s still coming online from my reboot.”

Despite the many beings already making their way along his paths between worlds, there were clearly parts of the system not quite up and running yet.

“Did you find any issues?” I asked, not really expecting any because Shadow made no mistakes.

He hesitated, and I frowned at him. “There’s an issue?” I asked.

Now he was the one frowning. “There’s a foreign entity coating the surface of my magic,” he said slowly, like he wasn’t quite sure if he was reading it right. “It’s so light and thin that it’s barely noticeable, but it’s not mine. It doesn’t appear to be affecting the general function, but I will have to look into it when we return.”

He didn’t want to leave it be, but at the same time, there was no way in hell he’d let me head into the Honor Meadows on my own. “Will everyone here be safe until we return?”

“Yes.” This time, he was surer. “There’s no malevolence in the presence. It’s just foreign, and since this is built from Inky’s and my energy, it’s obvious only to me that there’s a foreign beat in the heart.”

As if it had heard its name, Inky swirled down then, wrapping around Shadow.

“Can Inky feel it too?” I whispered.

Shadow nodded. “Yes, and Inky thinks it’s best if it stays here and investigates.”

I felt better to know that someone would be keeping an eye on it. “Fine with me, as long as you don’t think we’ll need Inky in the Honor Meadows.”

Shadow shook his head. “If we run into a situation that you and I can’t get ourselves out of, there’s very little Inky could do to help. I can think of only one being with enough power to worry us, and it’s the one I call ‘Mother.’”

That was good news… if you tilted your head and squinted at it. I mean, I was all about silver linings these days, and the fact that I wasn’t currently in Torma with Torin meant everything from here on out was good news.

Inky faded up into the ceiling, and I imagined it spreading out through the mechanics of the library. “Stay safe, buddy,” I called after it, just as Shadow nudged me toward the still-open doorway.

The Honor Meadows felt the same as they had the last time I’d stepped through. Warm, inviting, and ancient in a way that I couldn’t fully describe. I just sensed it deep in my own magic.

“This world truly fascinates me,” I said when we were standing in the long field of gold, the only part of Angel’s land I’d been to. My wolf rose up at the memories, and I was relieved to feel her strong and content in my chest again. Back with our true, true mate, we were once again whole. My wolf might have been team Torin for a while, but after witnessing her melancholy the last time around him, it was clear who we’d both chosen.

Our beast.

“This is one of the more ancient of the lands,” Shadow told me, his steps silent as he moved through the ankle-length golden grass. “It’s definitely the basis for the human’s perception of Heaven, and I believe it’s most probably due to those who heard stories from their ‘guardian angels.’ I know Angel told you some of her family’s history and work on Earth. I was the one to nudge them in that direction, as an additional safeguard over humans and shifters.”

I was near speechless.

It wasn’t as if I was particularly religious, and certainly not about angels and gods and the devil as such, since I’d always worshipped the Shadow Beast—still did actually, just in a different way now. But I knew how strongly humans felt about their religions, and the reverences they held for their gods. I didn’t blame them, either, because the world was damn dark, and to have faith in something greater, even if it was mere flickers of hope filling that darkness, was worth a lot more than what was tangibly returned to them. Shadow had helped shape some of that hope, and I felt very insignificant in comparison.

“Do all the transcendents go to Earth?”

Shadow shook his head. “No. Their big-picture role is like my mother’s with the Nexus. To keep the balance. To do that, they must travel between all places, holding evil at bay and protecting those who are destined to do great things. They sense where they are needed to be through meditation and their own personal psychic abilities.” He stood taller, the light here casting a perfect tint of gold over him, turning a god into something greater. “There aren’t many transcendents left now. Maybe a few hundred thousand, and as you can imagine, they’re stretched thin.”

Maintaining balance would be a thankless fuck of a job, and with all the worlds, a few hundred thousand wouldn’t go far. “Why are they dying out? I thought they were immortal.”

Shadow’s expression didn’t give a lot away, but his eyes were as brilliantly gold as the light around him. “As the worlds’ evils grow stronger, it weakens them. Then there are the wars. Dannie is not the first we’ve had to go up against when it comes to those who believe they deserve more than their share of the power. This might be the worst, but there have been many before. Angel’s entire family was killed in such a battle, and it’s only her pure strength, tenacity, and the inherited power she got from each member that allowed her to break free and return to the Honor Meadows before she, too, was claimed.”

“She told me that saving their family power is the most important part of their culture.”

He nodded. “Yes, nothing else stands above it. Each family here has a unique power. It’s why the balance is growing further and further off-kilter, as more of the family lines and abilities are lost.”

Poor Angel. My heart still ached for her tragic story, and knowing she was out there alone again, thinking she had no family left, was a weight pressing me into the ground. “We have to find her,” I said, spinning on the spot, like she would appear with that movement. “Can you feel her here?”

Shadow breathed in deeply, the mist tattoos on his arms moving, as they often did when he channeled his power. “This land is so imbued with her energy, it’s impossible for me to tell her specific location. We’re going to have to push through the magic, peel off the layers, and see if an Angel falls out.”

I gulped. “That kind of seems like a great way to get attacked. I mean, have you seen her curved blades? I really like my insides to stay inside. For aesthetic reasons.”

Shadow drew me along with his power, low chuckles spilling from his lips. “She will never hurt you, Mera. Angel might not remember you, and I might not be able to penetrate the magic of her land to release her memories, but when she sees you, your connection will remind her. I’m sure of it.”

He sounded sure, but then again, he always was confident. Maybe if I channeled some of that confidence, I’d feel the same way. With that in mind, I forced my anxiety down and followed him across the land.

When he ground to a halt, I ran straight into his back, but he must have expected that since he was already twisting to catch me before I bounced onto my ass.

“There’s a break in her power grid here,” he said as he set me on my feet.

Before I could ask what the fuck that meant, he reached down to the golden land, and as he ran his fingertip along a small section, it sliced open, like a knife through paper.

Was he shitting me right now? “Peel away the layers” had been a literal statement.

He was going to take us into the beating heart of Angel’s world.

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