Paranormal Agency BOOK 2 : THE FUNERAL HOME.
chapter 3

“The mortuary is haunted,” the mortician stated blandly. The client’s name was Jeffrey Allen. “I don’t know if it’s one of the guys they just brought in or what but it’s been haunted for a week now.”

Alison nodded quickly. She was working McCarthy’s Paranormal Agency out of her house as usual. The mortician over the phone was so upset and certain about the haunting that she found no need to refer to her business by the shortened version, McCarthy’s Agency, when speaking with him.

She sat down on her couch with the phone in her hand and pressed to her ear. Her living room and sometimes the bedroom were her “offices”. She could be found most of the time, sitting on her threadbare brown couch watching TV or sprawled over her bed with a good romance novel filled with kinky sex and impossible scenarios. Her favorite romance novels took place in medieval times. When she had exhausted the library’s collection of medieval ones, she had read three pirate-themed novels and a few fantasy ones.

She asked, “When are you available?”

“Five o’clock to seven o’clock on Wednesday.”

Alison leaned forward, fumbling with the notepad and pen that were lying in front of her on the coffee table. Still bent forward, she wrote on the paper on the table. “I’m free Wednesday,” she agreed. “I’ll be there at five.” A mortuary? It sounded creepy. She had never done an exorcism at a mortuary before. The thought brought a rush of goose bumps to the back of her neck. Might be exciting?

“That’s fine. Just don’t blame me if you get pretty damned freaked out. It’s been a horror house in here and I’m the one that’s gotta be here all week by myself. I’m half ready to grab my things and get myself the hell outta here for good.”

“That bad, huh.” It was one of the rare occasions where having Greg follow her around like a maniac was a good thing. She didn’t think a haunted mortuary sounded all that appealing to be alone in. Scribbling the address of the mortuary down, she retrieved her lit cigarette from the ashtray next to her phone and stuffed it into her mouth with her free hand. She inhaled deeply. She had quit smoking for a solid week, one in many attempts to quit for good, but had started right up again after watching her friend Marissa Jones, a local fortune teller, smoke one too many times in front of her.

The man hung up and Alison leaned back on the couch

She put the cigarette out in the ashtray. It was 8 o’clock at night and she and Greg were settling down for the evening. Alison couldn’t wait to relax. “What movie do you want to watch?” she asked Greg.

“Furious 8”

“I took that back to the library two days ago.”

“What?” he yelled out. “Alison, you suck!”

“I have other movies, Greg.”

He shook his head. “Yeah but I really wanted to watch that one,” he complained.

“Don’t be such a baby.” She picked through the DVDs on top of her TV, all of them missing their cases. “How about Genie From Hell?” She held it up for him.

“Alison. We just watched that movie last night. I’ve seen it ten times already.”

“I fail to see how any of that affects me,” she muttered. “I’ve seen it ten times too. You don’t hear me complaining. This is one of my favorite movies.”

“We just saw it yesterday!” he said again.

“I heard you the first time.”

She took the Genie From Hell DVD and shoved it into the player. “I’m watching Genie from Hell again. You can leave if it’s that big of a deal to you. I’m not taking it out.”

“Common, I like that movie. You’re making me hate it.”

“Whatever.”

“Fine,” he grunted. “Watch the stupid movie.”

“Are you going to stick around?” she asked.

“Might as well,” he grumbled. “I saw this stupid movie ten times and we just watched it and then you put it in anyway. I don’t see why I have to watch stupid Genie from Hell. You’re such a pain in the ass, Alison.”

“Will you shut up?”

“No. I have a right to my opinion and my opinion is we should be watching Furious8. Damn that library.”

“You know what the cool thing is about that?” Alison said, smiling as if she had just won some kind of contest, “It wasn’t due yet until tomorrow. I brought it in early.”

Greg stared at her for a minute. His eyes narrowed. “Oh, you are so dead.”

Alison stuck her tongue out at him. “It’s what you get for disappearing on me so many times. I had nothing better to do so I went to the library and turned in all the stuff I got from there.”

“Did you at least get a decent movie to bring home after you returned my Furious8 movie?”

“I sure did,” she replied with a grin. She held up a DVD box and said out loud, “Genie From Hell 2"

“Oh Gross.” He slapped a hand to his forehead. “I can’t believe that piece of crap movie has a sequel to it.”

“I know. Great, huh.”

“Just kill me now,” Greg sighed, leaning back on the sofa, his back disappearing into the cushions.

Alison mused, “Bad joke.” It was funny hearing a dead guy ask to be killed. She let the DVD take the screen to the main menu and pressed play. “We can watch the second one after this one’s over.”

“Hope you don’t mind watching it alone,” Greg commented, giving her a crooked smile. “My beautiful Alison. Will you be okay without me?”

“Obviously.” Pulling her long dark hair into a ponytail, headed to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took out a full bottle of black cherry wine cooler and drank some of it. “Why? Where are you going? I thought you were watching the first one with me.”

“No, that’s okay. I’m going to head out for a little bit. I have some work to do.”

“Work? What kind of work?”

Greg lifted his right hand, bending his fingers to the shape of a gun and pretending to fire it. “Real important work. Can’t say much more just yet.”

“Yeah okay, jerk. That’s another secret you’re keeping from me. One of these days, you’re gonna choke on all those damned secrets of yours.”

“Gee, thanks.” He began floating toward her, away from the couch and headed into the kitchen. “I’ll see you when you head out to the mortuary.”

“That’s not till Wednesday.”

“And what’s your point?” Greg asked.

“That’s four days from now.” That sounded like an abnormally long time for Greg to disappear. She wondered what he was up to.

“Well, you were complaining for some alone-time,” he reasoned.

She felt annoyed for some reason. There really wasn’t any good explanation for it so she dismissed the feeling as quickly as possible. After all, she did complain about alone-time a lot, right? That was fact. So, good. She might as well take advantage of it while the offer was still open. “Yeah, you’re right,” she agreed.

“Which Mortuary is it, anyway,” Greg asked

Alison took a drink of her wine cooler and replied “Spring Falls Mortuary. It’s on Independence Road. So, you’re not coming back until Wednesday then?”

His face turned thoughtful, and was quiet for the moment at the question. “You know what, if you get another job, I’ll drop by to make sure everything’s all right

but I really have a lot of work to do. He made his way to the door and stopped when he reached it, turning around to look at her finish the last of the wine cooler. “By the way, Marissa called. She said she wants to go out to the Glass Martini tomorrow night.”

“I don’t know. I have a job tomorrow.”

“She left a voicemail on your phone this morning while you were at the store. The message is still there.”

“I wonder why she didn’t call my cell.” Alison pulled the cell phone from her pocket and glanced at the screen. The screen was blank and the battery was dead and she realized she had forgotten to recharge it the night before.” Well, that explained that. “Thanks for telling me.”

“No problem, my Beautiful Alison, the prom queen, the supermodel, the movie star, my love, my favorite, my cherished, my dream girl, my other half, my soul mate”.

Alison pointed at him. “You’re in a silly mood today.”

“I thought that too.” He leaned towards the door frame, his shoulder sinking through it. “I might drop by for a few minutes when you guys are at the Glass Martini.”

“Why would you wanna do that?”

“Just for the hell of it. Soak in the atmosphere. Listen to some music.

“I won’t be able to talk to you there,” she reminded him.

“That’s okay,” he said. “It’s not like I’m going to see you.”

She wasn’t sure why, or if it was the way he said it, but his current bad mood was starting to agitate her. “What’s that supposed to mean? Go someplace else then.”

“If I stop by, I stop by.”

“Yeah. Well, I don’t feel like being spied on.”

“Don’t be so conceited,” he joked. “You’re the last thing I feel like staring at on a Sunday night. I’m a lot pickier than you think, Alison.”

“Yeah, well if I’m not your type, who is?” Alison grumbled under her breath.

“Short blondes, with little pointed noses and cute little lips and a cute little face,” he replied, describing Joshua Hunter’s girlfriend perfectly and filling Alison with painful jealousy. Joshua Hunter was her client from a few weeks ago and Alison had fallen madly in love with him since then, thinking of no one but him since she had last seen him. Greg gave her a look, acknowledging her dark hair, 5′8" status, and envy over Josh and his girlfriend, Elizabeth’s, relationship.

“You’re an asshole,” Alison complained. “We are not talking about Josh or his little girlfriend tonight,” she continued, aggravated by Greg’s technique to instantly turn Alison into a raving lunatic at any time of the day. Holding onto her lovesick sanity, she added, “Besides, I’m done with thinking about Emily’s brother. I’m not looking for anything from Josh ever again.” Alison dropped her empty bottle of wine cooler into the trash beside the refrigerator.

“If you say so.”

She went back to her couch, taking a quick glance at Greg’s back as he left the house. She leaned forward and pressed the button labeled “messages”. There were four messages on her answering machine. Three of them were for new work while the last one was left by Marissa, inviting her to go downtown with her to the Glass Martini.

After she had heard the message, she lay across the couch and began watching the already running film, Genie From Hell. Greg was missing out, she thought. It was a great movie.

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