Never His Mate: a Rejected Mates Shifter Romance (Claws and Fangs Book 1)
Chapter 12

He’s still hesitating more than I thought he would and I realize that, if I really want to do this, I have to find some way to convince my alpha that I actually do.

Deep down, I think he still thinks of me as an omega. I don’t know how many virgins he’s deflowered in his time—and good going, Gem, because that’s exactly what I want to think about while I’m naked in the woods with an equally naked Ryker—but with a dick that impressive, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was worried about hurting me.

I’m an alpha, too. So, yeah. I can totally take it. It’s biology, right?

Fighting and fucking. Maybe if I want to get to do one, I have to do the other first.

He has no clue what I’m about to do. Good. That works in my favor. Before he can stop me, I dash around him, jumping on his back. My canines are extended and, with a rumbling growl, I go for his throat.

I wasn’t going to bite him. At least, not hard. Just a nibble if anything.

Ryker’s reflexes are top-notch. When my canines are barely an inch away from his carotid, he flips me onto my back. But he doesn’t slam me into the dirt. He uses his arms to cradle me, shifting me at the last moment so that I’m back on the grass, belly down, perched on my hands and knees as he hovers over me.

He’s panting.

I’m panting.

And then it happens. He takes a deep breath, his body forming a sudden cage around mine as the musk from my wet pussy knocks him past the last of his insecurity.

“Yes, Ryker,” I say, rising up on all fours again. “Yes.”

He moves. I want to demand to know where he thinks he’s going, but before I do, I feel the tip of his claw softly tracing the line of my spine. I arch my back, swallowing my moan.

Ryker moves again. He must’ve retracted his claws because he uses his fingertips to knead my ass cheek with a little more force. I squeal, and I know he’s lowered his head closer to me when I suddenly feel his breath on my bare ass. He breathes in deep again, letting out a soft groan.

“Just remember,” he rumbles. “You did say yes.”

“Just… just this once.”

“If once is all I get, I’m going to make it count. You had your chance to get away, sweetheart. Now you’re mine.”

He’s right. I am.

At least, for now.

Luna, I can’t fucking wait.

I brace myself, sticking my ass as high as I can while I rest on my forearms. My instincts tell me to stay loose, to stay ready. I can feel my pussy dripping, so I know that my body’s doing everything it can to prepare me for⁠—

I squeal again. “Ryker!”

“Mm. Yes?”

I try to squirm away from him but he’s holding my hips tightly, I can’t get away. Not that I want to. Whatever just happened felt amazing, but it definitely wasn’t what I was expecting.

“What was that?”

“Oh, sweetheart. You didn’t think I was just going to stick my cock in you without any foreplay, did you?”

Kinda. Yeah.

“If that’s not your dick, what was that pressing against me?”

From the way his laugh sends shockwaves straight to my clit, I have a pretty good idea. Hey. I might be a virgin, but I’m a twenty-six-year-old shifter with needs. Between my vibe and my computer, I know the mechanics.

I just had no idea what that would feel like that.

I push back. He wants to lick my pussy from behind? Okay, Ryker. I’m not going to stop you.

And I don’t. Even when he dives back in, using his tongue to lick my slit before inserting the tip of his tongue inside of me, fucking me with that magical thing as he goes back to clutching my ass with his claws, I let him do whatever the hell he wants to me. He knows what he’s doing, and I know I don’t have anything to compare him to, but fucking Luna.

If this is mating, I should’ve agreed to this ages ago.

I also finally understand why Ryker was so turned on when I stuck my claws in him last year. The way he uses their points to anchor me to him has me going wild. A little pain mixed with a whole lot of pleasure. It kicks me into overdrive, my legs starting to shake as my orgasm begins to build.

I’m used to gentle O’s. A little pressure, a pop, and some relief. Nothing much, just a little something to take the edge off whenever the need gets to be too much. But what I feel building in my loins right now? It promises to be bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced before.

And I’m eagerly looking forward to it.

Just when I’m on the cusp of coming, I dig my claws into the dirt, rubbing my pussy all over his face as I moan out his name.

I might’ve moaned something else. I… I’m not so sure. If I did? It was probably due to the heat of the moment, and my mindless wolf willing to say just about anything to reach that elusive orgasm she’s been chasing.

He heard me, though. I’m almost positive. Either that or he can, I don’t know, taste that I’m so close. Mindless is a good word for what I am. As I arch my back, desperate for something to fill me, Ryker moves. He pulls his tongue away from my sensitized skin, ignoring my poor clit.

I snarl at him, more wolf than woman, and the last thing I hear is Ryker’s satisfied grunt before he replaces his tongue with something hard and long and so deliciously thick.

I realize in an instant what he’s done. He’s used his tongue to get me ready for him. I’m so hot—so wet—that he slides his monster dick in a few inches before I even know what he’s planning.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he grunts.

I arch my back again, wordlessly begging him to feed me a few more inches. I can tell that he’s only partway in, so why the hell is he stopping. “I’ll be better,” I pant, “when you start to move. I can take it.”

“Yeah?” Another push. “How’s that?”

I scoff. “Aren’t you an alpha?” I dare. “Prove it. Take me.”

Wish granted.

Ryker slams the rest of the way home. I felt a pinch, like something’s torn inside of me, but as I said before, it’s a little bit of pain and a whole lot of pleasure.

A whole lot of pleasure.

Hours later, he cradles me, laying with me on the tufts of grass below us.

We’re still in our skin. Completely naked, my hand settles on his pec. I don’t mean to find the marks I left on his chest, but like a moth drawn to a flame, my fingertips keep returning to the same place. I can feel his burning flesh, his hardened nipple brushing against the meat of my palm, my blunt fingers tracing the five scars. They’re visible, but not raised, so it amazes me that I instinctively know where they are.

Our scents—pine and cinnamon and raw sex—lingers in the air. Now that I’m coming down from the last round of rutting, I feel the cool breeze of the midnight sky blowing against my overheated skin and think that maybe I should go searching for our clothes.

Then I remember that I didn’t strip, I shifted, and even if I wanted to leave Ryker’s embrace to go searching for my clothes, they’re in no shape to be worn.

Oops.

We can’t stay out here much longer. It’s a miracle that no one’s ventured out into the wooded area, looking for the animals making all of that racket. Though we ran pretty far, I’m sure we’re still in Muncie, so even if the humans would believe the howls belonged to a pair of mating wolves, the vamps on patrol will know better.

And since the only two shifters in all of Muncie are me and Ryker, no way they won’t figure out what just passed between us.

I can’t really figure it and I was the one being mated.

While I’m using Ryker’s chest as a pillow, he’s lazily stroking his hand up and down my bare back. I can hear his heart beating like a drum in there, my pillow rising and falling, rising and falling as he draws in breath after breath.

I smile into his skin.

Yeah. I did that to him. I brought the big, bad wolf to his fucking knees behind me. First as he ate my pussy, then as he took my virginity.

And then, because I’d been dying to know what it was like for longer than I care to admit, I sank to my knees in front of him before returning to all fours and letting him fuck me a second time.

Then a third.

No wonder he’s out of breath. The first time was a shock. The second time an experience. The third time a fucking a revelation.

And it’s not even the full moon yet. If we ever do that when the moon’s at her height… there’s a reason why, during the full moon, mated pack members turn in early. It’s for the same reason why my battery-powered boyfriend gets a workout and I try to ignore my need by shoving my face full of ice cream. Sex and fighting. It’s the shifter way.

For once, I glad I’m not fighting Ryker. What just happened… it was perfect.

As he presses a quick kiss against the top of my head, I’m sure he feels the same way.

On a shaky exhale, he says, “Wow.”

“Got that right, big guy.”

“I just…” His voice is husky, a little raw from the shout he let out the last time he came, but I can still hear the wonder in it as he tries to get his words out. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”

With a laugh I don’t mean, I tease, “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

Beneath me, Ryker goes still. “What girls?”

I fist my hand. Suddenly, petting his chest isn’t as appealing as it was a few seconds ago.

He’s not really pulling this stunt right now, is he? I might’ve lost my head and let my wolf take charge. I might’ve forgotten just how much it hurt to be rejected by this male. But to act like I didn’t know about him and Trish? I can’t control who he was with before me, or who he’ll be with next, but it’s insulting for him to do this with his scent still on me.

I pull myself into a sitting position, gazing down at him. The fact that he looks confused just makes it worse.

“Come on, Ryker. You don’t have to pretend.”

“Pretend? What do you mean, pretend?”

When his heavy-lidded eyes drop to my bare tits, I cross my hands over them, hiding them from his view. I can see that his dick is already stirring, going hard again, and if my hussy of a wolf has her way, I’ll climb right on top of it again and forget what he just said.

“You already got me to agree to fuck you. You don’t have to try so hard anymore. Hell, if you’re ready for another round, just let me know. But don’t act like I’m the best you ever had just because I’m still here and you’re still horny.”

He blinks that lazy, sated look away. His lush lips tug down into an obvious frown. “Is that what you think happened?”

“No. It’s what I know happened. Why? What do you think happened?”

“Me? I finally got to claim my mate.”

Oh, hell no.

So he has the marks.

So I slept with him.

That doesn’t mean anything until we both agree. And, newsflash, I don’t.

“I’m not your mate. We just fucked, Ryker. That’s all. Just some sex between two consenting wolves. Don’t turn it into something it’s not.”

Because when he rejects me again or, worse, just uses me as a way to increase his own status, it’ll kill me.

All I wanted was this one memory to hold onto. This one time with Ryker that I can save for myself.

Too bad he won’t even let me have that.

“We mated.” The confusion flees, replaced by pure, unadulterated determination. “We’re mates. No fucking involved.”

Still covering my chest with one hand, I use the other to pat his shoulder. “Call it what you want, but you’re right. It wasn’t even that. We rutted. Plain and simple. You put your dick inside of me and it felt good⁠—”

“It felt amazing.”

“Whatever. But that’s all it was. Lust. Hormones. Need. To be my mate, there’s gotta be love.”

And, though I’m pretty sure I murmured I love you, I love you, I love you more times than I can count while he was pounding away inside of me, the most I heard from Ryker was my name, his grunts, and a repeated refrain of mine.

But not once, I’m realizing now, did he say I love you in return.

Why would he? To Ryker, a mate is an arrangement. Someone to have at his side, and someone to keep in his bed. Love doesn’t figure, does it?

I’m not regretting a damn thing we just did. I wanted him as much as he wanted me, and I did something about it. But I’d be an idiot to read anymore into it than that, and Ryker acting like he does is a Luna damned insult.

“Look. We got it out of our system.” I give him a wry smile that has him scowling. “Congrats, Ryker. You said you’d get me in the end and you did. We had sex. Whoo!” I wave my free hand around. “But if you think that changes anything…”

“Oh, sweetheart. It changes everything.”

Quick as a flash, he lunges for me. But if I thought I was aware of Ryker before this? Still revving from the orgasms he gave me, this male is a part of me. I know what he’s going to do a split second before he does it. I dodge him easily, jumping to my feet and whirling around in time to see him crouching in front of me.

For just a heartbeat, my eyes dip down to his dick. That sucker is rock-hard, pointing right at me as Ryker growls softly, eyes tracking my every movement.

Damn it. I feel myself growing wet again, getting ready for him, my wolf scratching away at the inside of my chest, desperate to worship this male with everything she has.

But not me. Not when I’ve given Ryker everything I am, and it’s still not enough for him.

“Stop it,” I snap, holding my ground. “It’s gone far enough. Get the hint. What just happened was sex, okay? Call it biology if you want, or blame it on the full moon. I don’t care. But I’m not your mate. We both know that. You can have anyone, Ryker. Just because the Luna picked me for you, that doesn’t mean we have to listen.”

His eyes flash. “You think I’m going through all of this because the moon told me to? I chose. My wolf chose.”

“Yeah. Trish.”

“Fuck Trish,” he snarls.

“No, thanks. But feel free to go to Accalia and do that again if you like.”

His mouth falls open before he quickly rearranges his features into that same old emotionless mask. “You really believe that. It’s not just your way of keeping me out. Of rejecting me instead. You really think that I picked her over you.”

“I don’t have to think anything. I was there.” I gesture at the marks on his chest. “Remember?”

He slowly rises up from the crouch.

In an instant, I can see this scene playing out. He’ll move toward me, I’ll stubbornly stay where I am because an alpha will never back down, and then he’ll do whatever he can to distract me. It’s what he’s always done when we get too close to the night I walked out on him. For all the talking he wants to do, he never once made it seem like he actually cares about me. About Gemma Swann. The woman, not the alpha.

Fuck him. Let him keep his secrets.

Ryker’s body shifts, putting all of his weight on the balls of his feet. Just like I expected, he’s preparing to leap at me.

Not if I can help it.

I drop my gaze. I fold my fingers, hiding my claws, then clasp my hands together. I shudder out a breath that, unless you know better, sounds suspiciously like a sob.

He just about stops breathing.

Gotcha.

I have a lifetime of experience playing the omega. Doesn’t matter that Ryker knows that I’m an alpha. With the right posture, and just a hint of salty tears, I can play his damn wolf like it’s a piano.

“Gemma, no. Don’t cry. I⁠—”

—never should’ve underestimated me.

My head flies up, hand already swinging as I throw all of my body weight into the punch. Luna damn, does he have a hard face. It’s like pummeling rock, I swear, but I get three good hits in before he realizes that I’ve attacked.

My claws stay sheathed. I don’t even realize it at first. I went after him with human fists instead of wolf claws because, whether I want to accept it or not, something changed between us after that first mating.

He doesn’t swing back. I expected that. Omega or alpha, he’ll never attack his mate. And, sure, maybe I took advantage of that, but what did he expect? I might’ve accepted him once, but not again.

I get him on his back, and the way his hands shoot up to my naked waist just tells me that I was right. I only won that fight because he let me, and because we’re in the perfect position to mate again.

No. Not mate.

Fuck.

Not this time, Ryker.

He can tell. I don’t even have to stop him. The animal might lose control during a rutting, but the human half knows better than to try. So, instead of lifting me up and pressing me against his length, knowing that our instincts will take over next, he gently sets me down on the grass.

“Your choice,” he grounds out, chest heaving again, a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth from where I hit him. “It’s always been your choice.”

And that’s when I realize something.

I fucked him. I put his dick in my mouth, and he put my pussy in his. And, yet, our lips have never touched.

While I can still blame the impending full moon for being out of control, I drop to my knees and grab his face in my hands.

“Then I choose this,” I murmur before bringing his mouth to mine.

I don’t know if I did it wrong. Can you kiss wrong? I had the same thought when it came to mating about two seconds before Ryker pushed himself into me, and we managed to mate just fine. Maybe kissing’s the same way. You just rely on a mixture of passion, desire, and instinct as you smash noses, clash teeth, and stroke each other’s tongues.

At least, that’s how it seems to me. I still want him, and he’s not even questioning how easily I’ve returned to his embrace. Almost as if he knew I would.

No.

I pull away from him. Ryker follows me, nipping my bottom lip with his canines as he tries to initiate a second kiss, but I’m in control now. I still have his face in my hands and I maneuver it until my lips are next to his jaw.

“You were my first,” I whisper in his ear. “My first love. My first heartbreak. My first fuck. And now? My first kiss. Pity the order was all wrong, huh?”

The corner of his mouth hasn’t healed yet. The blood is still trickling its way to his stubble-covered jaw. Some of it’s smeared from our wild kiss, but a small bubble wells up.

I dart out my tongue, swiping it across his skin, capturing the blood before savoring it.

He’s just as delicious as I remember.

While he’s too stunned to react, I shove him away from me and, before he can recover—or pull me close to him again—I go full wolf.

And if my girl could almost swear she heard his murmured, “Mine, too,” chasing after me, it’s better than the massive black wolf himself.

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