Loving the leech (Guardians of Red Moon city #4)
42. Working the frustrations

Nathan’s POV

I look at my mate, who diligently spar with Blake, Oliver, and Elijah. The purpose is to be able to evaluate her strength. So far, she can defend herself enough, making sure they won’t get in any punches or get her down on the ground. However, it looks like she’s holding back very much, given that she never hits hard when she connects her fists with their bodies. I recognize her behavior. My little sister, Aleida, used to do the same. That’s why I always took the step in to make her angry because I knew I could handle her anger.

She kept all her feelings within to the point that she got cold or broke apart. It isn’t healthy, and hence I had to bring out her emotions by provoking a reaction. However, I know that with my mate, I can’t do it. If I say anything to her now while we’re still getting to know each other, she’ll think I’m the same as William, and that’s the last thing I want. The men she wrestles with are her friends, and she knows they can’t provoke her to the proper level. Benjamin, on the other hand, William’s little brother, always says as it is no matter how cruel it sounds. Thankfully, he walks out of the packhouse now when I need him.

“Benjamin, can I talk to you for a second?” I ask, and he comes up to me immediately.

“What’s up?” he asks, and I explain the situation best I can.

Since I have much experience from Aleida’s dark period, I can also explain my thoughts and observations in a way that makes him understand. He nods while I speak and looks at his sister-in-law systematically. I don’t particularly appreciate that another man has such feelings for my mate and potentially is only loyal to her because of that. However, I can’t interfere too much either since it isn’t my business. As long as he isn’t a threat to her, there’s no reason to worry. At least that’s what she said when she came back from a conversation with him in private.

“Kaylin!” he suddenly shouts, and their training stops. “We have something we want to try.”

We walk towards them, and she looks confusedly at me as if I have something going on. Benjamin and I quickly review what’s going to happen, and she has big eyes when we finish. She’s not okay with this, you can see it a long way, but we’ve got no choice. Silence spreads, and we’re all waiting for her reaction.

“Are you out of your freaking minds!?” she exclaims, and there’s the reaction I expected. “I can lose control and hurt you, Benny!”

“I can handle it,” Benjamin calmly replies. “In fact, we’re going to evaluate your control and strength. It’s not working the way it is now. You hold back a lot because you don’t want to hurt them, and no matter how admirable that is, it doesn’t last in the long run. We can’t evaluate you thoroughly if you don’t fully demonstrate what you’re capable of.”

“And what do we do if I accidentally set you on fire?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Kaylin, dragons, have a hot temper, pun not intended. You were principled and could get angry even before you learned how your own body works. Now things have changed. That means you have to learn a new form of control,” I explain, and she sighs. “Salazar helped you learn to manage the blood lust, which you coped with gallantly. Now you need to do the same thing again, though the urge is no longer to drink someone dry but to kill when your temperament becomes too uncontrollable.”

I hug her and kiss her head as she leans on my chest. She’s scared, and we all know it. As I mentioned earlier, the problem is that she doesn’t talk about it, and then we can’t help her either. It’s a natural reaction to feel fear, and that’s what we’re going to practice.

“I’m afraid, Nate,” she whispers, and I thank the gods for her not being as stubborn as my sister. “What if I set fire to the whole packhouse or kill someone?”

“It’s cool. I’m already living dead anyway,” Benjamin says, and the rest of us give him a look. “What? Too soon?”

I caress her hair and wait for her response. She must gather her thoughts and decide without anyone else pushing it forward. Kaylin must understand what danger she is to others if she doesn’t learn to control her emotions. The fear that she’ll hurt someone now isn’t comparable with the mass destruction she may accidentally cause at another time when the anger boils over. It’s better to deal with the problem directly and help Kaylin before she gets into such a situation. In the end, she sighs and nods slowly.

“Okay, I’m ready to make a try. But I want the rest of you to keep your distance. It would be best if you also informed Aleida’s pack of what’s going on. I don’t want anyone hurt beyond this idiot who takes the risk voluntarily,” she says, pointing to Benjamin, who puts a dramatic hand over his heart.

However, he doesn’t comment on it but smiles big, as if she has just complimented him. They get ready, and I worry about the well-being of my mate.

“The council head has trained her. She’s also the vampire princess and half dragon, Nate,” my sister says, who appeared out of nowhere next to me. “Believe me. I’m not even sure that I would cope with a fight against her.”

Aleida is still training, but not as hard as before since there’s no reason. When she got the latest puppies, the rest also calmed down. She worked her way through her darkness, and given that over ninety percent of the rogues have gone through rehab, there are rarely fights anymore. After the battle when Aleida received the power of the moon goddess, most of the wolves have calmed down, knowing that they didn’t have a chance. That she also is a kind soul and a damn good queen who protects all wolves helps to erase any disputes that arise.

Don’t get me wrong, though; my sister can still hold her own like before. She’s just not used to it as much anymore. That doesn’t make her less prepared to jump into the frontlines in a war if required. Honestly, I’m glad she’s calmer now. Aleida isn’t large body wise and her temperament as a hybrid was disastrous. I got to feel it that time when we were trying to train her in controlling herself. It was close that I died, and my beloved sister left her family to train. Now it’s better in every way, and I’m happy for her. Benjamin has started commenting on various things to see how Kaylin reacts to provocation, and so far, it’s going well.

They exchange punches, and it’s clear that my mate is stronger than her brother-in-law. However, when he addresses William’s betrayal, she bursts very quickly, and it feels like a tsunami is hitting me. Together with the others, I fall backward by force, and the trees begin to burn violently. Okay, William is her main trigger, and we were already aware of that. Ozzandra comes out of the house and shouts to Kaylin over the loud sounds of the flames.

“Kaylin, honey. It’s getting hot, and Aurora doesn’t feel comfortable.”

When the words register in my mate’s head, all the flames disappear at once, and no signs after her fire remain. She breathes heavily but smiles all the same when she realizes she can control it reasonably. I take Aurora from Ozzandra’s arms and walk up to Kaylin.

“You did so well, my darling,” I whisper and kiss her forehead.

“It was very hard, though,” she mumbles and caresses Aurora’s cheek.

“It doesn’t matter,” Benjamin says, coming up to us. “You did it!”

She hugs him, and I push down my jealousy as far as I can. I know she has no feelings for him, but as an alpha, I’m possessive and don’t like when someone touches my mate. However, that’s something I have to train myself on, given that she’s close friends with her brother-in-law and the rest of William’s closest people.

“Thanks for the help, Benny,” she whispers against his chest. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem, sugar,” he replies, breaking away from her hug. “You’ll learn how to handle it, and we won’t have to do this again. I promise.”

“What do you mean?” she asks and furrow her eyebrows.

“We evaluated you, as we said we would,” Aleida replies, smiling broadly at my mate. “You’re strong and have better self-control than you think. Take it from someone who once had no control at all but pushed aside all her emotions instead of talking about it. You’re stronger than I could ever be.”

Kaylin smiles, and her eyes tear up. Aleida is a great role model to my mate, and it warms my soul that they get along so well. I don’t know what I’d do if my sister hated Kaylin. These two women are the most important in my life, and their relationship is at least as important as their well-being. I hug them both with one of my big arms. Given that the other holds my stepdaughter, it’s problematic to fit both.

“You guys are the best I know,” I say, kissing their heads.

Their giggles continue and end with both of them starting to laugh loudly for some reason. I’m not even sure they’re aware of the cause. In any case, it doesn’t matter. As long as they’re happy, I’m delighted.

William’s POV

I feel the humiliation all the way into my bones. My beloved and daughter are mixed breeds! How the hell did this happen? Diverse children tend to be problematic, and I can’t live with my heir being looked down on while she grows up. What does that say about me? That I can’t control my own and hence am not worthy of taking care of the clan that has been in my family for generations. Does Kaylin not understand that my clan members and the council won’t ever accept this? I honestly feel disgusted that they’re akin to slimy lizards. Ugh!

If my father were alive, he would agree ideally with me. After all, it’s he who trained me to become the best clan leader I could ever be. At least until he died, and I still don’t know how that happened. No one ever told me, and I honestly haven’t thought about it until now. He wouldn’t have allowed the clan to look weak, and neither will I. I’ve said right from the start that my clan goes before everything, my beloved included. It doesn’t matter whether she won in the arena or is of royal blood; the members won’t back up a half-blood of this type.

A half-vampire with human blood is doubtful already there. Dragon blood complicates the process of acceptance even more and is nothing that we should take lightly. My family and friends think that I misbehave without seeing the whole picture. All my life, they’ve known that the most important thing to me is my clan, and nothing else can ever take that place away. I never wanted a beloved and, above all, not children. Why do I not want children? Because it puts a risk on my members. If I get attached to Aurora, I’ll break if she disappears, placing everything at stake.

You’re confused about my sudden change, aren’t you? The truth is simple. I’m not man enough to be the one that neither Kaylin nor Aurora need. It may not always have been clear, but in fact, I’m incredibly selfish. I’m used to taking care of myself and making sure the clan is doing well. They’re all adults and can take care of their own families, making my job more manageable than it could’ve been. Hence, I’ve never had to think of anyone but myself, emotionally speaking. At least not until Jennifer came into my life, and you know what a disaster that turned out to be.

She changed me and made me hard, mean even, more than before. Maybe she was my karma in advance, considering how I treat Kaylin. Because I’m constantly aware of how I behave with my beloved and that what I do is wrong. Even so, I can’t stop. But keep being cruel and play with her feelings like it’s some fucking game. I can’t stop! No matter how hard I try to push everything away with Jennifer and what my dad stomped into my head, I can’t. Jennifer is and remains the woman in my life; no matter how little she deserves it, that’s how it is.

My dad’s words and the training I had to endure still resides in my body like an extra layer of skin. Although it’s many years since I took over, I can still remember a specific event that shook my whole world and made me into the man I am...

✿❀ Flashback ❀✿

I had just gotten beaten down again because I didn’t answer one of all his endless questions correctly. My jaw hurt, and the blood spread in my mouth like acid. Nausea indicated a concussion, and I had to make an effort not to puke. I knew it wasn’t something my father would appreciate or consider acceptable. “A man doesn’t cry, show pain, and, above all, never admits to having weaknesses,” he used to say. I knew the words by heart and used them like a mantra in my head every time I was about to lose control of my emotions.

“What did I tell you, William?” my father asked in a calm but deadly tone.

He strained his eyes on me, and I slowly rose from the stone floor. My body protested loudly when several bones creaked in connection with my movements. I met his gaze and tried to stand up straight.

“To listen carefully to my superior and be responsible enough to take the information I get assigned to heart. Those who are more important than me have neither the time nor the desire to waste precious time talking to someone who shows no willingness to be better than before,” I replied, and father nodded slowly, obviously satisfied with my answer.

“Who is considered your superiors?” he asked and walked toward the wooden bench full of different kinds of weapons.

“My father, the council, and the royal family,” I replied, and at the exact second, the last word left my mouth, throwing knives began to rain in my direction.

I tried desperately to avoid getting hit. Not because I worried about the pain, but rather about causing disappointment again as many times before. He kept asking questions, and I answered them while my body was trying to move in the directions I wanted it to.

“What is a beloved?” he asked, and I didn’t think before answering.

“A beloved is supposed to be the strength of a vampire, and the love between the two can overcome everything,” I replied, and we both solidified when the words left my mouth.

He didn’t even throw any more knives but stared at me intensely enough that his left eye started to vibrate with the anger he apparently felt over my response. My hands began to sweat, and the fear spread in my body as he walked toward the wall to pick down an old battle hatchet. I didn’t have time to react before he threw it, and the blood began to drip from my stomach. He used his speed to stand in front of me and held his hand tightly around my neck, limiting my air supply.

“What have I told you about listening to what your stupid mother says regarding the bond!?” he growled, and I knew that if I answered wrong, he’d kill me on the spot.

“That she’s a dumb bitch who hasn’t learned what’s right and wrong in the battle for the clan’s survival,” I gasped.

“Very true. You’re not as stupid as you seem. Thank the gods for that! It’s enough with one disappointment in the family. I don’t need an incompetent son too. You’re supposed to take over the clan after me. How do you intend to be able to do so if you still in adulthood believe in fairy tales that aren’t real and happy endings that don’t exist!?” he roared. “A beloved is a weakness, and men like us have no weaknesses. We live to take over and create empires. If you consider yourself a man, I sincerely hope for your own sake that you reject your beloved if you happen to find her. They bring nothing but noise and trouble. Believe me; you’re better off on your own.”

I nodded, and he let go of my throat before pulling out the hatchet from my abdomen that immediately began to heal thanks to my thoroughbred genes. He punched me in the back in a friendly way before moving towards the door. Before he walked out, he turned around and looked at me.

“I’ll get you sorted out, boy, you don’t have to worry,” he said, and I felt myself relaxing, though too soon. “Even if it must happen through force and violence..”

✿❀ End of flashback ❀✿

Jennifer brought trouble and noise, nothing else. That’s why I didn’t want to let Kaylin in from the start, and I still don’t. Above all, not considering all the problems that arose in connection with my second chance beloved came into my life. Therefore, it makes the memory extra painful. Because my father was right...

A / N:

Greetings, everybody!

Kaylin begins to gain control of herself while William loses it. His father was obviously an evil and cruel man when he was alive. Hopefully, William can learn to realize that it’s not the right way to look at life or the bond between beloveds.

✿ Do you think William can change? Will he do it?

❀ Is he single-track or simply traumatized?

✿ Does his family know his mindset?

❀ How will Kaylin handle it?

I ask you to please leave a comment in a few words about what you thought. You don’t need to write anything lengthy or detailed, but simple things like if you enjoy the content or not, that’s enough. You are my inspiration and help me continue writing. Hence your opinions become extra vital to me. Hugs and kisses! <3

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