Loving the leech (Guardians of Red Moon city #4)
11. Shocked

William’s POV

I have time to see Kaylin’s eyes roll in the back of her head, and with my speed, I catch her before she falls on the floor. Poor Kaylin never gets a moment of peace before new information comes out, and her brain gets overworked again. Honestly, I don’t think anyone could handle all this information without obtaining a breakdown at least once.

“Oh, dear Kaylin,” I whisper and caress her cheek. “Now, it’s too much for you.”

I lift her in my arms and walk out of the room with the others in tow. How I wish I could save her from the whole situation, and honestly, I could have if I hadn’t bitten her in the beginning. I bear that responsibility; I know it does no less harm to it. It may be hard to believe, but vampires also have animal instincts, just like werewolves. And when Kaylin tried to get away from me, leave me, and never come back, I lost control. Vampires are as possessive with their beloved as werewolves are with their mates; there are no differences or oddities when it comes to that.

So even though I didn’t want a beloved, it was my instincts that made me react like I did and force Kaylin into a situation where she’s in danger and a world she was never meant to have to experience. Anyway, that’s how I thought it was until I got to see the portrait of Kaylin’s parents. Even though Kaylin isn’t an exact copy of her mother, they have considerable similarities that are difficult to miss if you don’t have the answers beforehand.

“I don’t understand how I may have managed to miss the similarities,” mom mumbles. “Miranda was a good friend of mine for many years; it’s embarrassing that I don’t recognize my best friend’s daughter...”

“It’s okay, mom. Honestly, I don’t think Kaylin is feeling particularly offended,” Benjamin replies.

“She fainted; I made her faint,” she growls.

“Because she found out she’s a vampire princess, yes! It has nothing to do with the fact that you didn’t recognize her.”

“At least that explains why she transformed so quickly,” Vivienne says. “When I tasted her blood, she was in the half-vampire stage, but it’s clear that this little detail has been around inside her all along. But why didn’t you feel a difference?”

“I actually don’t know, Viv,” I answer and get confused by the question.

Why couldn’t I taste it? Vivienne tasted only one drop when she helped Kaylin, and I drank her blood directly from the vein. It makes no sense!

“I can answer that,” mom replies. “A vampire who bites his beloved, especially in a situation you found yourself in, William, is so influenced by the adrenaline that they can’t notice the small but significant differences in the blood. Besides, Viv has always been particularly good at being able to sense supernatural smells in the air and flavors in the blood.”

Well, she has a point. My thoughts move back to when I bit Kaylin. Her tormented screams still give me nightmares. Of all the creatures out there and everything she had to go through, I’m the first to cause a situation where she not only gets hurt but also gets terrified of what’s to come. If I hadn’t bitten her, the ball wouldn’t have started rolling, and Joseph wouldn’t have changed her.

“Honestly, William, I’m not sure if she’ll cope with the arena of death,” mom sighs sadly.

“What!? What are you talking about? Of course, she’ll cope with it!” I exclaim, baffled at how little faith my own mom has in my beloved.

“Don’t get mad now,” she sighs and gives me a pointed look. “It has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t believe that she can handle it physically; she’s strong and has her skills, but... Her psyche is breaking down, William. Kaylin has been through more in a few days than the rest of us have since we transformed, and I worry about her mental health. She’s my daughter-in-law, and I’ll protect her until the last moment, no matter what threat stands in my way.”

I look admiringly at my mother; I know she’s motherly to most people, but this love and the need to protect Kaylin I’ve never seen before. She hasn’t questioned anything that Kaylin did or said a single time since she came stumbling into our lives; on the contrary, she has cheered on with joy and pride.

“Mom, what’s this all about?” I ask anxiously.

“Miranda was my friend, William, a very close one. Kaylin thinks she died when she was born, but that’s not the truth,” she replies, giving me a sad look.

“What is it about then?” I ask, and mom puts a finger over her lips to indicate that I shouldn’t ask anymore.

At first, I don’t understand why she wants me to be quiet, but it doesn’t take long for me to realize that my beloved is looking up from my arms at me with her big bright blue deer eyes in an inquiring manner. I smile and balance her on one of my arms to caress her cheek with the other.

“Hey, Sleeping beauty,” I say softly. “You scared me, beautiful. Are you okay?”

“I think so,” she whispers, and her eyebrow furrows in thoughtfulness. “Did I dream, or does it turn out that I belong to a royal bloodline?”

Kaylin asks the question even though I can see that she already knows the answer. She lives on the hope that it’s a mistake or a sick joke while it’s actually the truth, which she’s terrified to hear. I sigh deeply, avoiding her searching gaze. How am I supposed to ensure she stays calm? All this stress is hardly suitable for her body, especially not when she’s going into the arena of death in a little more than two weeks.

“It’s true, Kaylin,” I say, seeing how she closes her eyes tightly; she doesn’t want this. “I’m sorry, Kaylin, I really am, but you have many problems to take care of later when it’s time for that.”

“Why does everything have to be so hard?” she whispers, and my heart breaks inside my chest. “More correctly, why does it always have to be so hard for me?”

A lonely tear lands on my knuckle, and I kiss her forehead. Since she woke up, we’ve been standing outside her house by the car, waiting for the outbreak that never came. I think we all expected her to go on a rampage or at least cry a dash. Instead, she asks an emotive question that none of us can answer. Benjamin opens the rear car door, and I manage to balance Kaylin in my arms as I sit down on the seat. I try to move and put her next to me, but she refuses to let go of my shirt.

She’s scared, Will, Elijah says in the mindlink, and I look at him through the rearview mirror as he drives away from the scene.

I know that, and I understand it too, but I honestly don’t know what I can do to help her, I sigh, and he gives me a sad look back.

There’s not much you can do beyond being there for her and helping her manage everything in time before she’s going into the arena.

I nod back and close the mindlink between us to look down on my beautiful beloved, who still doesn’t let go of my shirt. Kaylin is holding my shirt in a vice grip in her entangled little hand. I haven’t thought about it before, but she’s really minimal in my arms. If I didn’t know how old she was, I would’ve easily believed that she wasn’t more than fourteen-fifteen years old. Kaylin is both short and slender, the complete opposite of myself, who isn’t only tall but also broad with all my muscles. The differences are charming to me anyway.

She fits perfectly in my arms, and when all that’s going to happen is over, I’ll take Kaylin in my arms again—protecting her from the outside world in every way I can. Elijah turns on the radio, and “Can’t Help Falling In Love” plays, and Kaylin’s head lifts instantly when she hears the melody. Her angelic voice catches every tone and word in a perfect balance that makes the hairs on my arms stand straight up; that’s how beautiful it is.

“Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you,” she sings and looking me in the eyes with a smile.

Elijah turns on Bluetooth on the stereo, and Kaylin is quick to hook up. “What can I say” by Dead by April plays, and the rest of us look confused at her; she doesn’t seem to be the kind who listens to this kind of thing. She knows all the words to this song, too, and the rest of us sing along. Kaylin even does a wonderful little cute dance in my lap that causes her butt to rub wonderfully against my half-awake cock. The friction makes me release an unsteady breath and close my eyes, only to feel Kaylin’s breath towards my ear.

“Take it easy, my dear,” she whispers and nibbles on my earlobe. “I’ll take care of your problem when we get home.”

She grins at me before continuing to sing with the others. No matter how much I wish to have sex with my beloved, this isn’t the occasion for that. Kaylin has just lost her cousin, aka best friend; her father’s gone; she’s soon going to enter the arena and found out that she’s a missing vampire princess, whom others expect to lead every vampire all over the world. Kaylin doesn’t know what she’s doing, and I guess she also doesn’t know how to handle everything going on. Hence she pretends that everything is okay. It’s not a healthy way to deal with events and emotions because it’ll explode in her face one day.

The problem is that it’s challenging to focus on that thought, “This isn’t the real Kaylin because she doesn’t know what she wants,” as she keeps rubbing herself against my pulsating length.

In the end, we come home, and Kaylin jumps down from my lap to run into the forest with my friends. On the way home between the songs, they’ve discussed the taste of animal blood and my friends decided to try it. It doesn’t bother me at all; now, both my inner debate and the hard problem can disappear in an icy shower. As I said, I really want to have sex with Kaylin, but not when she’s not feeling well. Because, as I’ve said, she doesn’t know what she wants and is emotionally broken, I don’t want to take advantage of the situation, only to get between her tight, wet walls.

I gave in to my needs last time, and although it was a fantastic moment I shared with my beloved, it also felt wrong afterward. Our first time together should’ve been unique and beautiful, something intimate where we both make love to each other. Instead, it was hard fucking, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it’s not optimal to have it like that the first time. She had also just cried after my mother didn’t think before reminding Kaylin of her upcoming fight inside the arena; I should’ve waited. Damn it! I have big problems handling my needs as soon as she’s nearby!

“Kaylin appears to be in a better mood,” my brother says with concern. “Too good mood.”

I sigh and nod slowly. Beloved Kaylin, you’ll break if you don’t process this...

“She turns it off,” I answer, looking at the forest where she jokes around with Oliver.

“Does she know she can turn off her humanity?” Vivienne asks.

“No, she doesn’t,” I say in an icy voice, pinning her with my eyes. “And she’s not going to find out she can do it either.”

My voice comes out as a threat, and Vivienne whimpers when she senses the strong aura that I unleash. I rarely use it, but now it’s needed to clarify to my dear little sister that it isn’t an option. Although it sometimes is an advantage to be able to turn off your humanity, there are also extreme consequences. To begin with, it’s challenging to persuade a vampire who turned off their feelings to release them back. Secondly, the said vampire also does as it wants without caring about anything; neither people, emotions, nor consequences matter.

They can practically tear the throat of the one they love most without feeling the slightest remorse. And lastly, once humanity turns on again, all the emotions and everything they’ve done come back to them like a powerful explosion. I have friends who turned it off and then turned it back on again; several of them couldn’t live with what they had done but committed suicide. If I hadn’t had my mom when it happened to me, then I would either never have come back to my true self or even being alive today. It’s a fate worse than death to have to go through all the pain it brings, which is also why I refuse to allow anyone to talk about it with my beloved.

“I promise not to say anything; I was just wondering,” Vivienne replies silently.

Kaylin comes laughing back with Oliver and Elijah behind her; all three are full of blood on their faces. My beloved looks at me and smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes. I wonder whom she’s trying to convince that everything is okay, herself or me?

“How was it?” Benjamin asks.

“It wasn’t bad at all!” Elijah says, smiling. “Kay-kay was right; it tastes much better than the blood bags.”

“You missed the most awesome thing ever!” Oliver exclaims excitedly. “Kay jumped up a tree and attacked a deer from above; she looked like Bruce Lee!”

Kaylin laughs at him, and I can read her better than ever. She laughs at Oliver’s comments and tries to show a sunny side that doesn’t exist. When I look into Kaylin’s eyes, I just meet the whirlwind of emotions she carries within herself in silence. Inside, she desperately screams for help and breaks piece by piece. Baby, please talk to me instead of pretending everything’s okay...

“Kaylin, can I talk to you for a second?” I ask, and she looks questioningly at me before nodding.

The others move back into the house and leave us alone under the moonlight. I lead us to a bench that stands under the big willow tree in the garden. She sits down next to me, and I put her hand in mine. Kaylin is quiet and waiting for me to start talking. I don’t want to upset her, especially when I know that the others are guaranteed to listen to what we say. But I have to do something. She can no longer suffer in solitude as simple as that.

(If you want to set a mood, turn on “Someone you Loved” by Lewis Capaldi.)

“Kaylin, how are you?” I ask and study her closely when she responds like a pre-recorded message on an answering machine.

“I’m fine.”

“No, Kaylin. You’re not fine, and you’re not okay,” I say softly.

“And what do you know about it?” she asks, clearly annoyed at my prying.

“I’d be a pretty bad beloved if I don’t recognize when my other half is feeling sad,” I answer, chuckling, but she’s not laughing.

Instead, she stands up and starts pace in front of me with a fatal look. Her speed is fast, and I’m preparing because I know it’s now she’s going to explode.

“This is the damn first time you’ve cared about me and what I feel about stuff, so excuse me if I don’t really believe in your so-called concern,” she spits out.

“I care about you, Kaylin, and I’ve been doing that ever since day one. That’s never going to change. It may not have seemed that way, but you’re important to me, and I want you to be happy,” I calmly respond with a pleading glance.

“So now you suddenly care about my condition, huh!?” she growls. “Where was the concern when you forced me into a world I didn’t belong to and bit me without my permission!?”

“Please, I just want you to talk to me!” I say with a raised voice. “It’s not healthy to carry everything inside yourself without talking about it, especially not when there’s so much going on at once. You have to process it; otherwise, it’ll come back and bite your ass one day. And then maybe it’s not certain I can help you anymore.”

“Do you want to know what I feel?” she asks in a calm and quiet tone.

Believe me, when a woman suddenly becomes calm or quiet in the middle of an argument, there’s never anything good about it. Even so, I nod gently and see how the anger changes into hopelessness in her eyes.

“All my fucking life, I’ve had to carry everything alone without a single bastard having any care about it. Even my dad wasn’t there as much as he should have. It had to go so far that I ended up in the hospital, floating between life and death for him to toughen up! Everyone who promised me to be there is gone and never comes back! I’m completely hopeless, and no one can carry me anymore. So who’s going to pull me up when my strengths run out? Who will lift my heart when it breaks? I’m all fucking alone down in the dark that I can’t get out of because I’m a living dead. It’s too heavy, and I can’t live anymore, but I can’t die either. When I really should soar like light clouds on a clear blue sky, I fall harder than the rain in the most revolting of storms. It’s enough, I can’t, I don’t want to, and I won’t manage! Therefore, I also don’t want to talk to you because, in the end, I know I will fall for you, but you won’t be there to catch me,” she screams, and tears flow down her cheeks.

“I will be there, I promise you-.”

“No! Not one more lie from you. All you do is lie,” she says calmly.

“No, I don’t!” I scream, tired of her not wanting to listen or understand. “I can promise to be there because I love you!”

She looks at me with wet cheeks and a look full of emptiness; she’s broken. I look back at the goddess in front of me and wait for her to scream, get her feelings out, and then start over with me. But given how carefully she studies me, I realize that the chances are slim. It becomes evident that it won’t happen when she opens her mouth to talk.

“You don’t love me; you love the idea of having someone to share your life with; you love the illusion of how the future could have been for us. But that future will never fulfill, and I’m no longer the girl you met at Polly’s Lagoon.”

I look at her confusingly. What is she talking about? Of course, there’s a future for us. We can have children if she wants to, and we can also fulfill her dream of moving away from here. The only thing it takes is that she pursues that goal with me by her side.

“Why can’t we?” I ask with a lump in my throat, and she lets quiet tears travel down her cheeks again.

“Because you took my life away from me once, and in two weeks, I lose it again. The only difference is that when that happens, I’ll lose it for good.”

A/N:

Hello everyone!

Kaylin is laying out the truth flat on the table, and it seems like William finally understands what he has done. But is it too late to fix it?

❀ Is Kaylin’s reaction strange?

✿ Does William finally understand what a big problem he has given her?

❀ Do you think they’ll be all right in the end?

✿ Is she going to forgive him, or has she had enough now?

Please let me know your thoughts since they help me develop in my creative process! Thank you for reading. Lots of love.<3

Sᴇarch the FindNovel.net website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.