Lovers of Myth
Sin in Sin

Sleeping on the lumpy couch in her office, Ivory turned over and over again as her brow furrowed. Restlessly flipping as she mumbled to herself. Her mind was filled with confusing thoughts. Dark images, cold walls, rough fingertips. What if it had all really been a dream? Could she explain away both her gods in such a way? She was a scientist, this had to be thought through logically.

Logic? What kind of science could she put against a god? Two gods? It was insanity to think any of this could be compared to a normal human issue. Not to mention the ever-changing reel of romantic yet horribly sad images running through her mind constantly.

The images of her gods were only getting more vivid. They were memories, and with each one came a piece of her life puzzle she had never asked to solve. Scenes of a woman with flowing black hair filled her head as well, the eyes of the deity were dark and sad. Who was she?

Suddenly a loud clicking sound filled her head, all thoughts or dreams crashing around her. What was happening? It was like she was floating in a space of nothingness. One moment she was sleeping, the next she was moving. Sleepwalking?

Her body stood up, bare feet touching the ground. Her body was moving, but she still felt heavy with sleep. What was this feeling? A loss of control, or a freedom she had never felt before? Where was she going?

The guards left their posts at half past two in the morning, a different group coming in at five to replace them. It wasn't something she was supposed to know. There was a lot she wasn't supposed to be in on, apparently.

The hall was dark, filled with shadows as she quietly made her way. Her steps were silent, yet someone watched over her as if she had announced her appearance. The darkness shivered as she stopped for a moment, hesitating. Then her feet began to move again as if she had never stopped.

When she slipped through the cell door her heart was already picking up speed. His dark silhouette moved toward her as soon as the lock clicked. She felt lost, tears already running down her face as he erased the space between them.

“Hold me?”

Her soft tone brought his hand to her face, cupping her cheek gently as he wrapped his free arm around her waist. He wondered what she was doing here. Something was different though, slightly off.

“Ivory. Are you hurt?”

Ivory. No, she didn't want him this way. She wanted him just as he once was. Loving her without end or judgment. An image of Dhuosnos filled her head. He wore black stone armor, his skin soaked in blood as he ran toward her. When he stopped before her he was saying something she couldn't hear, but her heart slowed nonetheless.

Looking up into light green eyes her tears continued to flow as their past took the breath from her lungs. Safety was not something she felt with her beast, but rather a dangerous desire to run and love him all at once. With this god, she felt safe, at home. She needed answers.

"Can't you see me?"

She sobbed, falling to her knees before the god of tricks. He looked as if she had just slapped him, then those green eyes grew dark with anger. He kneeled before her, pulling her into his arms once more as she begged for mercy.

"He's plaguing you yet again, I see."

The images of Dhuosnos within her mind were slowly drowning in innocent blood. His once bright eyes seemed to burn holes into her heart. Loki's hold on her tightened as he lifted her from the floor. With a swish of his hand, he materialized a bed covered in the softest of sheets, in the corner of the room. Laying her on it before he knelt at her side, he watched the horrific movie within her memories.

"You're remembering everything too quickly. It won't be easy."

She felt sick, her head spinning. Closing her eyes she put a hand to her head, the migraine growing. He could see everything she saw inside her mind, she knew that now. The images of her nights with Dhuosnos haunted them both now. He wouldn't judge her for such encounters though, how could he? She was perfect, no matter her acts, in his eyes.

"What if I don't want this?"

She sounded exasperated. The bed moved with the weight of him as he lifted her into his lap. She let him hold her, his fury toward her other lover undeniable as images of their past filled her head so full she thought it might explode.

"I can't even look at myself. My reflection is a stranger. What have I done?"

Closing his eyes he fought back the desire to burn Dhuosnos alive. The bastard had been sentenced to this prison a long time ago for crimes against the gods too sick to speak of. He was here for other reasons though. One reason, to be exact, and she was sitting in his lap.

"I'm so sorry. I should've come to you sooner. I just...I couldn't trust myself. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I never wanted to..."

Her sobs broke her words apart as she turned her head and leaned into his chest. He wanted nothing more than to take away her pain. Her apology killed him as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

"Don't apologize. It is not you who is at fault. Your soul is trying to piece itself together, retracing your footsteps in a way. I knew it would be painful, but I had hoped I could help to alleviate it somehow."

She held onto him as the tears slowly stopped and her eyes grew heavy. What was she meant to do now? How could she keep going each day like this? She wasn't a mortal, she knew that now. A goddess trapped in the skin of a human. What was she meant to do?

"I can't keep going like this. I feel so weak."

He wanted to take all of her pain, but it was not for him to do. She wasn't fully herself yet, which meant she was vulnerable.

"This body was never meant to hold your soul this long. Soon, you will have to make a choice. It is something only you can decide after you learn the truth."

His answers were riddles, but she trusted him nonetheless. In time she would have to face the past, that much she knew. What would she find out that might change her path? Could she find happiness, or was she meant to fall here? A feeling of unease settled into her gut as they moved to lie under the covers together. In his arms she was home, but that had been so long ago. Too long ago.

The morning came and she was once again in her own room. Her lovers, gods, clearly had the ability to materialize things and people wherever they felt like it. Did she have that power once? What kind of goddess had she been? To be loved by two gods, was she powerful? Or perhaps she wasn't as good as she wanted to think. What if she hurt someone to end up like this?

She needed to face him, Dhuosnos. He had known from day one who she was, but he had played the fool. In doing so he had marked her mortal body as if they were strangers finding love for the first time. She wouldn't regret it, not yet at least.

All she wanted was the truth, answers that might untangle her chaotic memories. What was this place, truly? What if it was all an illusion? Why were they all placed here? It seemed too convenient.

Making her way to the stone room of her dreams she smiled and bid the guards good morning. They nodded, allowing her to pass without issue. This time she went in alone. No guards or colleagues, thanks to a long talk she had with the man upstairs.

She deserved more of his trust considering all of the good results she was getting. That's what she convinced him of, at least. He seemed a bit unsure but ultimately gave in. He was so busy with meetings he didn't want to waste time arguing with her. It was easier to say yes and walk away.

As the door closed she caught him in her sight immediately. He was an old, ancient Irish God. God of the dead, she remembered. How did she know him though? How could she know two gods so different from one another? What had transpired between them?

“Seeing you hurts, Dhuosnos.”

He moved to stand before her, his hand reaching out to rest above her heart. The sad look in those burning eyes never seemed to leave when she was with him. What was he thinking of that caused him so much agony? He closed his eyes for a moment.

"I would do anything for your forgiveness."

He knew who she was now and faced her willingly. Their past was one of love, loss, pain, betrayal, and hatred. Running wasn't an option though, as he was trapped within these walls regardless of her decision. She deserved the truth, and only then might he be able to allow himself some peace.

His tone was deep. Her body was warm and full of passion, yet the ache in her bones felt as if it carried with it the baggage of a million lifetimes of torment. At that moment she wanted to scream but didn't know why fully.

She closed her eyes, taking in a soft breath. He smelled so good, a scent that seemed to remind her of home. In the walls of such a memory, she felt a sadness so great she wanted to slam the door and run. She couldn't. Frozen in this place of the unknown, she needed answers. Even if it hurt.

“I thought I might love you, but now I know it's far more involved than simple mortal affection.”

He thought back to their centuries together. At each other's side, they were a serious storm to be reckoned with. She was a goddess, he was a god, and together they raked the battlefields of warrior souls. Within those passing lights, they absorbed all pain, betrayal, resentment, and the need for vengeance.

"We were soldiers of death, my love. For centuries we took each other's hand at the entrance to the afterlife, escorting the lost and broken to another existence. A more peaceful one. We dealt with so much darkness, but you remained my light. My lantern in the cold chill of the night."

He closed his eyes and held her hands, giving her the images of their past to witness as he spoke. She was trembling, but he had to be truthful. She deserved that much.

"You were loyal to me for so long, loving my darkened heart and keeping me from giving in to a more sinister side of myself. I knew I was smothering you, but I couldn't let go. Every time I hurt you it was like a drop of water to your flame, but I only watched and hoped you would stay each time. I knew I was killing you, but I couldn't stop."

Deja vu once more. Her heart was so full, yet breaking. Within his memories she watched their love grow amongst the bloodied lands of war and mortality. Slowly the images shifted, and what was once her smile for him alone now grew bitter.

In the night they worked, her on a black stallion and him on the back of a bright white mustang. The days were passed in love and lust for what felt like a blissful eternity. When the sun shone across the horizon they could be found at home rolling around in the sheets and breaking furniture during their escapades. They saw every sight they could together and enjoyed the romance of a lifetime. With him, she had wanted it all.

Then, as if he couldn't stand being happy for a moment more, he broke her heart. She rode by herself for the first night in ages, fearful of his absence. He was never late for their ride and would never leave her to do it alone. Something had to be wrong, but what? Without a second thought, she abandoned the ever-bloodied battlefields under the full moon to find her love.

"I had never meant to do such a thing, to hurt you in such a way. I would give anything to change it now."

She opened her eyes against an image of him with another woman in their godly bed. Ripping her hands away from his she backed up a step, her heart racing. They were still in his prison cell, yet she was not. In his eyes, she had fallen into the past.

Surely after all of their immortal life together he wouldn't throw it away like that. Was she meant to believe they gave up everything for one transgression? She hated the idea of him looking at another, choosing someone else over her, but was that his only crime against her heart? It felt anticlimactic.

"I will never defend such disloyalty, but I can't believe one act of misguided lust made me leave you."

He looked broken as his hands fell down to his sides. Kneeling before her he hung his head. Suddenly she was gasping within a twisting funnel of memories that aided her need for the truth. Not just one.

In their bed, he had brought woman after woman. Humans, goddesses, halflings. It mattered not. After one taste he was addicted to the thrill of others. The fights they had afterward felt just as exciting for him because he knew she would give in. They would break another bed or two before his next affair and he was loving every moment of it. He enjoyed tormenting her.

"I allowed my darkness to seep deep into your soul, and I swore you would never leave me."

Silent tears streamed down her face as she watched her past self with long black hair, and cold eyes, looking over an empty field. No souls to escort or flowers to admire. Just as her heart had been, it was without life. The moon was high above her, but she felt no safety within its light. Instead, she was crying. Sobbing for the loss of her own heart.

"You did not break me with your affairs. You tore out my heart, but that's not what destroyed me."

Her cold, dead tone made his chest tighten. With a soft shake of his head, he looked up to catch her gaze. Those once bright eyes looked dull through her unshed tears. Here he was again, reliving the moments of his darkest deeds against her. Even still, it was not enough to punish him for the mess he created.

"You found another to love. Even after years of my disloyalty, I couldn't look the other way."

She remembered now. She had met a soldier, a mortal, as he mourned his friend among the dead of a particularly brutal battle. Something made her stop and show herself to him. That was the start of something she had never planned. In the lonely nights without Dhuosnos, she visited her mortal.

He had gone home to his people with the armor of his brother in arms, thanks to her words of encouragement. Without her, he would've died that night, on his own weapon. The friend's family thanked him and he was honored by his leaders, but he felt no glory.

Under the moon she sat with him on the edge of a lake night after night, both of them faced with reflections they couldn't stand to look upon. She saw herself as weak, he saw himself as incomplete. Both broken and wielding sharp edges. They consoled one another.

They spoke of life, dreams, and what could be if the world was a little less dark. Soon they were mending each other's broken hearts and engaging thoughts of love and what it meant for each of them. Even still, they never touched. She couldn't make herself be the person her dark god was. To look at herself and see him would've broken her completely.

It mattered not though, because Dhuosnos found them. Under a bloody eclipse, he sent the mortal to his afterlife far too early. Her soldier died with tears in his eyes and a thank you on his tongue as she held him. Watching him bleed out was more than she could handle. All for knowing her and consoling her broken soul. It was a transgression she couldn't forget.

"I was not disloyal to you, yet you killed him just for speaking to me. Something you had neglected to do for ages. You didn't care to know me or love my soul. You just wanted my body. Every body you touched you used."

Her heart was breaking as she watched her past self sob over the corpse of a friend. Perhaps she had loved him, but not as Dhuosnos thought. Her soldier had been a kindred soul who understood her pain. When he took him from her it was her breaking point.

Backing up she felt the wall behind her as the next scenes in her walk down memory lane broke her further. She had allowed him to turn her into a monster.

"My jealousy turned you into a vengeful goddess. I am to blame for every sin you committed, Dullahan."

In the dark of night, atop her onyx beast of a horse, she rode through the towns of her lover's mistresses. With a rage in her heart she couldn't quell, she burned everything down. Taking the heads of every mortal woman he had fucked with her, she made her way to the palaces of gods next.

What she would do would cause shockwaves, but she didn't care. In the moment of her aching need for retribution, she delivered a mortal head to every goddess that had laid with Dhuosnos. A bloody message from a goddess of death would leave some cursing her and others begging for forgiveness. All would remember and watch over their shoulders for what they assumed would be their inevitable punishment.

Amongst the chaos, instead of finishing off her agony with more blood, she vanished. The gore on her hands was already too much. She had always led the souls of the dead to a peaceful afterlife, but not like this. In this form, she was a monster.

"I cleaned up the mess, our mess, but it was too late. You left and I couldn't find you. I even hunted down the fates, but they wanted nothing to do with our entangled web of pain."

She wiped away her tears, not wanting to hear anything more from him. He hurt her, destroyed her, and then let her believe he was some sweet and innocent being in this life. She even swore the guards and boss were judging him too quickly, but she had been foolish. Even as she moved toward the door the onslaught of memories began to suffocate her again. She needed to leave, to breathe.

Rushing out of the room she tried her best to act natural for the guards. They didn't seem to care to look at her long enough to figure out something was wrong anyway. She went to the only place with fresh air. The gated garden.

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