In Reach?
Safety is an Illusion

Side note: the term "swimfan" is used as reference to the 2002 film, of a fan-girl's unhealthy obsession with a swimmer.

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“Did you not hear me?” He asks like he really wants to know. I remain silent, afraid that any move may trigger him, should he be like the others. Animals do that, well predators to be exact. They will patiently wait and stalk their prey, which I’m pretty sure is me at the moment. So I shouldn’t give him a reason to chase me, they like that sort of thing, right?

He releases a huff of breath and takes a step forward. Out of reflex I myself take a small step backwards while letting out a whimper, with my hands slightly raised in front of my body in a useless attempt to put more space between us. He catches on and immediately stops in his track towards me. He slowly raises his hands to me as if showing me he doesn’t have any weapons and says, “don’t be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you.” He has a look of sincerity in his eyes, yet the see-through bag of syringes in his left hand makes me feel otherwise.

He catches my gaze and bites his bottom lip with brows furrowed, like he’s contemplating what to say next. I take another very small and gentle step back while he looks lost in thought. But he seems determined to not let the space between us get bigger, as he too takes a step forward. “I’m a doctor, well actually in training, but I just want to help.”

That’s it! That’s the biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard. A man like him, a doctor? Oh please. I let out an annoyed snicker, which strangely makes him smile a little. Is he making fun of me? I take another step back and he says “let’s talk okay, and maybe we can figure this out”. What doctor wants to just talk? But then again, he realizes there is something to be sorted out here. But my inner voice just has to keep me in a constant state of confusion as she says.....doesn’t it seem like he really doesn’t want you to leave?

I contemplate the situation and I allow him to take another step while I wait. His shoulders seem to relax a bit at this and he says, “everything is going to be okay”. He hardly finishes when the front door swings open with laughter filling the house. Whoever enters will see us directly down the hallway, and with our position, both me and Cutie pie can see Alpha, his “bro” and one of Mr Stretchy pants in the foyer.

They’re still engrossed in whatever they are talking about that they don’t seem to notice me and Cutie pie, who are currently standing like deers facing headlights as we look in their direction. Stretchy pants and Bro walk deeper into the house while chuckling as they seem to make their way to the area with the TV. But Mr Alpha is standing rigid in the door way, like he’s body is shaking, no, it looks more like it is vibrating with his deep inhales. It’s like a ticking time bomb. His head shoots up like he’s sniffing the air, and he stops in my direction. The moment he looks into my eyes, it’s like our gazes locked on each other. And there it is again, that warm fuzzy feeling of ‘less scared’. Everybody seems to notice his behaviour and look at him. Just as Bro and Stretchy pants approach him with worried looks, they spot me and Cutie pie. Stretchy pants is immediately on his way down the hall talking, “What the hell are you two doing here?”

Without waiting for an answer, he turns to Cutie pie and says, “I thought you were sedating her.” And that’s when I click what the syringes were for. The nerve of him to talk about me like I’m not here though. It’s either he’s dumb or just an ass. But I’m still looking into Dimples’ eyes. Yes, I’m calling him Dimples now. That whole “Alpha” thing is not going to work for me, it just sounds too misogynistic. Besides, he has amazing dimples when he smiles. Well I just saw one on the one side of his face but I want to see whether there is one on the other cheek as well.

His eyes look at me like they want me. Uhm, okay. I’m really starting to contemplate this fuzzy feeling I have in my stomach. I can’t seem to take my eyes off of him, ……he’s just too delicious.

What is wrong with you? You can’t think of stuff like that right now. I sometimes just can’t control what my subconscious is thinking. Okay, okay, she tries to defend herself, but what I’m trying to say is, that he’s kind of looking at you the same way, so maybe he’ll make sure not to harm you. So far, he’s our best shot. I can’t believe I’m actually trying to reason with my subconscious right now, but she has a point, I have a point.

He mumbles something I can’t make out which has my eyes falling to his lips. Bro, who is standing next to Dimples whips his head at Dimples with saucers for eyes. It must be whiplash. But then a sudden loud and vibrating growl emanates throughout the house, that my feet can feel the wood vibrating underneath them. Everybody is looking at Dimples right now, with fear in their eyes. Everyone but me. I’m still lost, trying to figure out how I am not afraid of this beast of a man who literally just growled and is staring at me like I’m his prey.

But all hope is lost when he speaks, “Restrain the prisoner!!”. My eye brows furrow in confusion when he speaks those commanding words with such hatred. That’s when all heads whip back to my face. Bro still has that confused look on his face but it is mixed with amusement. Stretchy pants looks pissed off, like he’s a teacher’s pet who just got a warning. And Cutie pie is looking at me with pity…..really? How dare he make me feel so pathetic for lying so easily to me.

I twist on the balls of my feet as I try to make my way to the back door as fast as I can. But just before my hand can graze the door knob, a hand snakes around my waist twisting me away from the door. I don’t bother to look back at them as I thrash in whoever’s hands I’m in. I already know my surroundings, somewhat, and I know who my enemies are. It’s time for my self defence classes to pay off.

My feet are practically off the floor as I’m being held to a chest, so I kick his shin as hard as I can. The brief release from his hold gives more room for my arm to elbow him in the stomach. I’m finally standing on my own now, but his arms are still around me. So, I bud my head backwards hoping to break his nose. I just hear a muffled sound and his arms release me and retreat back. I’m free from his hold, but I still need to give Cutie pie a little more for being such a lying douche. I turn around to find him holding his nose and somewhat crunched over to my level. Perfect.

Bam! I give him a steady right hook to his eye and he falls to the ground with the impact. I shake my hand a bit to relieve it of that instant pain. But I don’t waste time on him any further as I know there are three other beasts standing behind me. So, as I twist my head to look at them, I’m already running towards the kitchen straight ahead of me.

Stretchy pants ran through the dining room’s entrance to get to the kitchen. I almost make it past the island counter when he tries to corner me. He looks pissed, like he’s ready to spill blood just to be in the good books with his hero again - a true swimfan. That’s when he reaches out with both his hands and curl them around my neck. Dammit I can’t breathe, and I know damn well that he can easily snap my neck with these bulging arms. I’m trying to use my nails to claw at his hands but he’s too stubborn to let go. So I hurt him where his ego can bruise the most, I kick him in the balls.

Owh! He screams as he grabs his junk and is slowly kneeling before me. Those veins on his forehead look like they are about to pop, as he just doesn’t want to let go of his anger. So sad, he really needs a hobby. So, I grab the frying pan on the stove next to me and raise it in the air. His eyes widen with realization of what I’m about to do, but I bring it down with such a force, I’m actually worried I may have broken his face. Pow!!!......the ringing of the blow resonates around me. I drop the pan and jump over his unconscious body to go anywhere but back to the back door.

That’s when Bro tries to stop me, and with a smile on his face………..really? “Okay sweet cheeks. Let’s just calm down and talk this out.” He tries to slowly make his way to me. So he’s a talker, great, I just need to pretend that I’m listening while I try to find something I can use as a weapon. I tilt my head as if trying to focus on his words, and his smile actually gets bigger. Oh……he must be so proud of himself; I can just imagine the number of things he got away with, with just that smile. That just boils my anger. And speaking of boiling I can actually hear something boiling, on the stove. Hmm, someone must be busy with dinner, but it already seems like I crashed it. So I might as well…….

So I stand firm, and wait as he trails closer with that ridiculously annoying smile on his face. Oh how I hope you’ll rethink your life choices when you realize you may have to rely on something other than your “charm” to get by in life. He’s literally two steps away from me, too far away to stop me, but too close to not be able to dodge scalding hot water being poured in one’s way. Perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sadist, but sometimes you have to hurt people in a special way to either get away from them, or to teach them a lesson. It’s all about survival and ethics, and frankly I personally feel like I’m killing two birds with one stone right now. So I grab the pot with boiling water next to me and just swing it at him. I don’t need to look to aim, I already know where he is. I get a glimpse of him trying to back away but that obviously won’t be enough.

Aaahhhh!!!! I hear him scream before the water even touches him. He tries to cower away using his hands to cover his face. Typical. Hearing the pain in his voice I do take a second to feel bad for him, but I still need to get out of here. Three down, one to go. And as I look up, I see him, staring at me with such anger, such hate in his eyes. It actually makes me feel sad. The kitchen floor is covered with bodies so I think it’s time I make my way to the dinning room.

I don’t have time for a stare-off with him, as I dash to the table where someone has already started to set it up. My focus is on that knife on the other side of the table. He must have predicted my intent, because just as I reach over the table, he was already there and grabbed my body. Holding on to my waist, he tries to pull me back down from the table, away from the knife. I thrash in his hold trying to climb over the table. He releases a grunt as he once again drags me down, this time putting his body weight on me. Limiting my movement, I am able to look him in the eyes and see what lies beneath. His eye brows are scrunched with all the anger he tries to growl out of his body. But his face is too close to mine, I can feel his breath on my face, I’m sure he can feel my rapid breathing on his as well. But his hold somewhat loosens on me. He must have thought that with more of his weight holding me down, he doesn’t need that much effort trying to hold me in place with his hands.

His quick breathing slows but turns deep, as he looks at my pathetic attempt to still thrash in his hands. But he’s not breathing through his mouth now, but his nose. Is he smelling me? As confused as I am at this moment, I can see his anger turning to confusion as well. This staring is becoming too intense for my liking, especially with his body heat on me. So, I decide to use this chance while he’s confused with his thoughts, to break free again. But he is too quick to respond. But so am I, and I kick him with all my might, he actually took a few steps back from me and the table. Dammit, so close. I almost got him in the balls.

I reach for that bloody knife again and my fingers just about graze the hilt of the steak knife, before I hear another growl and feel hands roughly grabbing me to the edge of the table. Just as he did this, no sooner did he pin himself between my legs to prevent me from kicking him again, and started squeezing my neck with his hands as he pins me to the table. I try to thrash again, but now that I look at him, I see pure rage and eagerness in his features, that it actually has me frightened of him. And for some reason, I don’t like feeling scared of him. I knew it, it was all a mistake, the one time I think I can trust someone again, I am completely off. Even if he was angry with me, or wanted to hurt me, it would have been fine, it wouldn’t have hurt me. But why does he look so excited, like he finds pleasure in hurting me? Why is he smiling, when his eyes aren’t? His eyes are lying, he’s a liar! I can’t trust him. That means I’ll have to hurt him if I want to get away from him.

My arm reaches up trying to find the bloody knife. I know I had it in my grasp before he grabbed me, so it must be somewhere above my head. I feel around my head, as I feel my airways are already cut off. I feel it, and I grab the knife. He has such anger in him, that he doesn’t even realize I have a knife in my hand. A tear falls from one of my eyes as I shove my hand right up, at his arm pit.

Ahh! He hisses at the pain and quickly steps away from me. I don’t wait, I just run, out the front door as it still stands wide open. It is dark out and there is nothing but woods in front of me. These are things that should scare me, but right now this darkness ahead makes me feel safe from what lies behind me. So I run, not daring to look back, just running to get out of his reach.

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