Her breasts move up and down while she’s on top of me. She moans, grinding her clit on me as she moves with my cock inside of her. It’s the second time we fuck for the evening. The first time was twenty minutes ago on my couch. When I opened the door to my home, I found her, not expecting her to be there. She stood there, eyes radiating lust and need.

How could I say no?

The moonlight that shines through the bedroom illuminates her silhouette as she continues to ride me desperately.

My hands at her waist, barely touching her soft skin.

I close my eyes, and I can see her again.

Ari.

But when I open them, Meredith pants fast, biting her lip.

I don’t know why I’ve let this go so far. I thought this would help me overcome my depressing attraction to my favorite nurse.

But no matter what I do. No matter how much time passes. It’s always her that I see, even when I’m fucking someone else. I only want her, but Meredith makes me feel good. I know with time, if I keep giving our relationship a chance, I’ll make it out on the other side.

She notices how hesitant I am and how badly my behavior has shifted.

“What’s wrong?” She stops riding me. She places her palms on my abs, studying me through the dark. She drops her head, her hair falling down her face, and squints.

“Nothing, why?” I say, my hand palming her ass to make her believe I’m okay, even when I’m not.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. I thought you’d be more…hungry.”

I tilt my head apologetically.

Then I grab her hand, pulling her so that she’s off my dick and on my chest.

I take a deep breath, snaking my hands through her hair, playing with the strands.

“I’m just stressed, that’s all.” It’s not entirely the truth, but it’s not a lie. There are people out there who want to kill us. And Paul’s little sister, who I swore to watch over.

“Your job?” she murmurs against my cheek. I return with a nod. I let go of her and use my hands as a pillow instead. I rest the back of my head on my palms and stare at the ceiling.

We’re at my townhome, downtown in Bloomings.

I like city life. I like the busy streets and the constant lively buildings with relentless traffic.

It makes me feel less alone.

I have siblings, but they’re all spread out all over the country, and my parents don’t live too far away. So, this place makes me feel less alone.

I had a girlfriend of a couple of months when Paul was still alive. It was getting serious, but of course…she couldn’t handle my schedule or absence, so she ended things.

Meredith’s fingers trail my chest hair down to my groin. She grabs my dick, stroking it again, determined to get me hard, and I wish it could be that simple right now.

I wish I could fuck her and forget everything, but the more I push myself into someone else, it backfires.

I’m tempted to call our relationship fun off because I like her. But maybe if I keep trying, I’ll get over Ari.

“Mmm, I bet you taste good, Kane.” Meredith shrinks down and crawls over my torso. She’s about to suck me off but then my phone pings, and I internally thank whoever texted me.

Meredith stops feeling me, and I kiss her on the cheek before I reach over to my nightstand to answer.

I can feel Meredith grow disappointed when something else captures my attention. She lets her body fall on top of my bed sheets.

I look at the screen, and it’s only one text with two unsurprising questions.

Lopez: El Devine? Strip club after?

I hesitate before I reply. I stare at the words over and over again, tempted.

Meredith and I haven’t made it official. We both agreed to a relationship of fun, and then we would see where it took us.

She’s technically single, and so am I.

“Who is it?” Meredith asks behind me. I can feel her pull the blankets from underneath me. Probably to cover herself up.

“Lopez.” My jaw ticks, and I swipe out of the chat and go straight for Ari’s contact instead.

I’m not crossing any boundaries. I’m just keeping the promise I made to Paul. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I type.

I’ve wanted to reach out, but how can I when she and Grim are together? I have to be careful with everything that I do or say because he’s my best friend. But she’s the woman I fell in love with before she met him.

I met her first.

I knew her first.

Me: I’m sorry about last week. You deserved to know.

I tap send on the screen but don’t expect a response. I need her to know I am sorry. She’s been through a lot, but this can’t get pushed underneath the rug. Ever since Ari started dating Grim, we don’t text anymore.

“Why are you texting Ari?” Meredith asks me over my shoulder. I sensed her, but I didn’t bother hiding. I don’t answer right away. I run my hand through my dark hair and turn off my phone, setting it back on the nightstand and search for gray sweatpants.

“She’s my friend. Paul was one of my best friends, and he’s dead. Why wouldn’t I check up on her?” I tell her calmly, pulling up my pants, tying the strings at my waist, and reaching for a shirt.

“Yeah, I get that, but—”

“But what?” I quirk a brow at her defensively. I hadn’t meant for it to come out so territorial, but it rolled off my tongue naturally.

Because even if Ari doesn’t feel the same way about me as I do, I will always be there for her. If she needs a friend, I’m there.

I’m the same way with my other friends.

If someone needs me, I’m there. No questions asked. It’s just the way I was raised to be.

“I’m sorry if I’m being nosy, Kane. After not seeing you for a while, I thought I would have your full attention.”

“We all made a promise to look after her. Paul’s team and Grim’s team. She just lost her baby, and—” I almost slip up and tell her that the people that killed Paul are after her and all of us.

“And what?” she snaps.

“Nothing.” I close the drawer that stores all of my sweatpants and finish tying the knot at my waistband.

“But you’re right, I guess…you should check on her. Last time Emilia, Ari, and I talked, she mentioned something about her and Danny not being together anymore.”

A burst of a flame flows through me so seamlessly. I look over my shoulder for a split second.

“What?” My eyes light up like fireworks, and I clear my throat, trying to disguise my feelings.

“They’re not together?” I ask, looking away from Meredith and instead at the city lights outside my window. Then I return my gaze to her to seem uninterested.

“I don’t think so.” Meredith shrugs.

She tears off the blankets from her nude, curvy body, grabbing the clothes she came here in.

I should stop her from leaving. Or maybe I should let her go entirely until I feel like I am officially ready to date again.

“I’ve gotta go, anyway. I promised my sister I’d babysit late tonight so she and her husband can go to the movies and catch the midnight premiere.” She tosses her shirt over her curls and shoves her feet, one by one, into her wedges.

I guess that means I’ll be spending my night at El Devine with Lopez and his new bed buddy of the week.

“Okay, but you’re still my date to the ball, right?” I ask, walking toward her. She stiffens when I lift her chin, forcing her to look at me.

I smile as I lean down to give her a peck on the lips.

Even through the moonlight, I can see that she’s blushing.

“Yup,” she replies, giddy and high-pitched.

She pops the p in yup, and I chuckle at her flustered voice.

“Good night, Kane.” She sighs, slipping out of my bedroom and closing the door behind her.

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