Flames of Solitude - Volume 1
2|| A Mother's Agony, A Daughter's Desperation

Following the accident, Meren was brought to a hospital where she stayed for a few weeks to allow her horrible wounds to heal and to become stable enough for release. In the meantime, Jessica and Melody stayed in the care of their neighbors.

No one understood what had happened, only that Meren and Jessica had somehow caught fire. Melody had woken up from her mother’s scream and didn’t know much else. Jessica could only recall the darkening pages of the book, her fingers suddenly burning, and the scream of anguish her mother had released. A scream that echoed whether she fell asleep or stayed awake, haunting her throughout the day. But when questioned by neighbors, guards, and everyone else, she had no answers; she was as much in search of them.

“What a horrible situation. Meren would have been better off if she had died that day. To live with such scars will be... difficult.”

“Don’t wish death on anyone. God does not want this.”

“But He cannot want this either—a young woman, unrecognizable, her own daughters won’t even know it’s her.”

“That’s enough. The matter is over anyway.”

Jessica overheard her neighbors, but she didn’t understand. She thought they were kind people. They had saved both her and her mom. Then why did they say her mother should have died?

The next day, Jessica and Melody eagerly awaited their mother’s return. They had waited for her release from the hospital for far too long, and the thought of her coming back to them made tears flow down their faces as they stood at the doorstep. And then, when a figure, supported by strangers, appeared before them, their eyes turned into endless rivers of tears. Finally, she was back. It was time to return to their familiar lives.

Both girls had already taken off to plant themselves in their mother’s embrace but were held back by their neighbor at the last step.

“It’s okay... just be... careful,” a hoarse but familiar voice spoke.

Meren’s body was wrapped in bandages, her skin — what was left of it — almost completely hidden. Her beautiful brown hair had vanished, concealed under a white covering. Although it had been weeks, it was still too early to remove them. She was discharged because Meren was deemed capable of changing the bandage herself, once a day.

Jessica and Melody cautiously approached her. They couldn’t recognize her by her altered appearance, but her voice, her silhouette, and the aura she emitted were enough for them to immediately identify their mother.

Soon they gently embraced her, and Meren’s eye, the only one of the two visible, peered at Jessica from above. Unseen by the girl, who felt relief and warmth in her mother’s presence, was the look that flashed in Meren’s emerald eye. For a moment, the green eyes held a chilling gaze akin to frost-covered leaves on a bitter cold morning.

Meren reached for the two girls’ heads as she always did and ruffled their hair. But the pain she felt from such a simple gesture made her pause and inhale sharply.

Jessica trembled at that sound, feeling guilty, not exactly knowing why — perhaps because she had not been able to do anything to help her mother.

Later, after the neighbors helped Meren settle in, they left the family of three alone, promising to assist when needed. Before departing, they prepared a large pot of soup for Meren to eat.

Jessica held a bowl of cold soup in her hands, carefully walking over to her mother and placing it in front of Meren. As the fire had even burned part of Meren’s mouth, both drinking and eating had become torture. For a long while, she would have to combine both to avoid straining herself and eat soups or similar foods.

Her bandaged fingers reached for the spoon, dipping it into the liquid and moving it to her lips. Slowly, she gulped, her grip on the spoon tightening, and her empty hand balling into a fist. Her lips curled inward as she leaned forward, and erratic breathing sounds followed.

With each spoonful of soup, Meren felt the warm liquid flow over the blisters inside her mouth, gliding down a burnt throat. The hot air she had breathed in weeks ago was more than enough to scorch her from the inside out. Every swallow turned into torment.

Jessica watched her mother endure the pain, but no matter how long she pondered, there was nothing she could do, so she sat in silence. Melody, quietly sitting next to her, too young to understand what was happening, felt the uncomfortable atmosphere and fidgeted around.

After finishing her meal, Meren told them that she would rest and that a visitor would come soon. They should wake her up when someone knocks on the door.

Jessica and Melody sat in the living room, unsure of what to do. Their mother had returned, but she was not the same. Of course, Jessica understood that she was in pain, but she, who had wished for nothing more than to see a smile on her mother’s lips, found her state unbearable. Would she ever be able to smile again? Were all her efforts in vain?

She curled up, knees to her chest, embracing herself. Where was her father? She needed him. Why did he leave them? Questions she had asked her mother many times without getting an answer filled her mind. Instead of bringing clarity to the situation, these questions seemed to spiral into an abyss of doubt. Did he not like them? Did Jessica do something wrong? Was that the reason he left?

She looked at her fingers, only for bone-chilling coldness to grip her chest and run down her spine immediately. Her eyelids shut as fast as possible, trying to banish that image from her head. That fire that had engulfed her body had come out of nowhere and destroyed everything.

Jessica’s head fell onto her knees, tears streaming down, wetting her pajama pants. Before she realized it, she drifted into a short slumber.

Knock-Knock.

“Jes... Jes!”

Jessica woke up with a start, her head shooting up, locking her gaze with a set of big green eyes. Melody had shaken her awake.

“Ugh... what?” still half-asleep, she tried to figure out what the commotion was about.

“Someone is here! They knocked!”

“Who is...”

Remembering her mother’s words, Jessica stood up immediately.

“Go wake up, Mom!”

“Okay!”

While Melody rushed to the bedroom, Jessica went to welcome the guest.

Knock-Knock.

Picking up the key and turning it in the keyhole, the door opened with a click. Standing before Jessica was a tall man in a half-white, half-black robe. At chest height, a red discontinuous circle was drawn, divided into five parts separated by thin spaces.

Straining her neck, she met a pair of brown eyes looking at her beneath a head full of gray hair. The man smiled, forming wrinkles on his face. It was the old priest of the village.

“Hello, Priest Amarill…anilo.”

A hand emerged from under the long sleeves of his robe, tousling her hair.

“God bless you with all his love, Jessica.”

Jessica turned around when she heard footsteps behind her. Meren, with Melody behind her, had come to meet the priest.

“Father Mariliano... I have been... waiting for your visit. Please... come inside.”

“Do not strain your voice, my dear daughter.”

The priest stepped past Jessica, gently embracing the bandaged Meren.

“Oh Lord, you have tested your faithful daughter. See how strong her faith is. She never faltered and went to the church in the darkest hour... You have done wonders, Meren. From now on, only grace will befall you and your household.”

Although the priest seemed to speak without pause, Jessica couldn’t quite grasp the meaning behind his words. Did God test them? Had He sent the fire?

Did God not love them?

In the living room, the priest recited some prayers and discussed various topics like the church, God, and other matters that Jessica did not understand. Judging by how Melody began playing with her toys on the floor, it seemed she wasn’t following the conversation either.

After a while, her mother and the priest stood up. Jessica silently prayed that the visit would be over, as she was too bored to listen to more stories about how many times Father Marilli prayed in one day or how Father Amado helped build a church in another village.

“Jessica...stay here... with Melody... I...”

The priest interrupted her, “It’s okay, I can speak for you.” He smiled softly, his eyes brimming with love, as if he were addressing his own granddaughter. “Jessica, play with Melody for a while. I’m going to talk to your mother for a bit.”

Jessica nodded in response.

The adults moved toward the bedroom, only entering once Meren had made sure that Jessica wouldn’t follow them.

With a click, the door closed behind them. For around five seconds, the living room fell into absolute silence, broken only by shuffled noises as Jessica and Melody almost instantly appeared next to the bedroom door, their ears pressed against it.

“Ahh, I don’t hea... mhmmm!”

Jessica had to silence her younger sister, who was about to give them away. Her palm pressed down on Melody’s mouth to prevent any inadvertent noise.

Then she focused again, trying to hear as much as she could. But she could only pick up snippets of the conversation.

“...I.....live like that.”

“Trust.... God’s love....”

“.......afraid.”

“It is... another way...”

“How?”

“Take this....”

For a while, they fell silent. Jessica tried to press her ear against the door more forcefully, flattening it against the wooden surface.

Meren began to speak again, her voice trembling so clearly that even Jessica could pick up on it.

“I-I....impossible.”

“You must.”

For some reason, the voices became clearer.

“You need to believe. Death is shackled, and life is boundless.”

“What...if...I....don’t return?”

“Do not cultivate doubt in your heart, Meren. This is not a secret. You will return and without blemish.”

That’s when Jessica realized the voices weren’t just becoming louder but seemed to be moving closer to the door. She stepped away, walking backward when she saw the doorknob turn.

This was not good. They would know that she had spied on them, and her mother would be even more upset. She couldn’t allow it.

When the doorknob came to a halt, she anticipated the door opening, but that didn’t happen. They were probably still talking at the doorstep with someone pushing the doorknob down.

But Jessica didn’t care. She pulled Melody along, retreating on her tiptoes to the living room, and pretended to play with her, or at least she tried to act that way.

A moment later, Meren and the priest returned to the living room.

“Did you play?” Meren asked, prompting a response from Melody.

“Yes, I did not hear anything,” the little girl pouted.

“Hear what?”

“Ah..ahhh...she meant she did not hear you coming back,” Jessica lied through her teeth.

Luckily for her, the priest was a busy man and bid his goodbyes, sparing her further questioning.

“Think about my words, Meren. If you need something, I will be waiting for you in the church. I hope that next time we meet, I will see God’s blessings upon you.”

Once again, Jessica didn’t understand the priest’s ramblings, but the way her mother’s uncovered eye fixated on him, and her body trembled, it must have been something important. Unfortunately, she couldn’t ask her mother about it; revealing her spying adventure wasn’t an option.

The priest left, and soon the silence returned. Evening arrived, and Melody, exhausted from the eventful day, fell asleep. Meren’s body also needed rest, so she retired to her bedroom, leaving Jessica alone with her thoughts.

Over and over, unwanted images surfaced in her mind, ones she’d rather forget, memories she wished someone could erase. Sleep continued to evade her, as it had for the past few weeks. She remained constantly on edge, dozing off at the strangest times when her mind couldn’t endure any longer, but almost never during the night. Strangely enough, her most wakeful moments seemed to coincide with her intended sleep.

And that night, she wouldn’t sleep a wink, because from her mother’s bedroom came the sound of a heavy object falling over. Immediately, Jessica sprang up and rushed to the source of the noise. When she opened the door, she saw something that would forever haunt her alongside the other dreadful images in her mind.

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