Desire for you - ALPHA ILAY
Chapter 9

ILAY

One glass... Two glasses... A third was still possible.

I drank the last sip of the bourbon in my bottle and sighed softly.

A person sat down next to me as I stared at my glass.

"A bourbon please," said the male voice, making me frown.

That voice ... I turned my head to the side and looked at Ryan.

I looked at him, puzzled, and rubbed my eyes briefly to make sure it was really Ryan.

"Damn ... How the hell did you get here?" I asked him with raised eyebrows. Inside, my heart leapt for joy.

Ryan grinned at me and punched me in the shoulders. "Achira," he said, taking a sip of the bourbon as the bartender placed his glass on the counter.

"Achira..." I mumbled quietly to myself.

"She told me that you're about to go on a killing spree... According to her, you blew up a whorehouse. Were the women there that bad?" He burst out laughing and could hardly contain himself.

I rolled my eyes with a grin "You know I have enough decency, whores are not for me..." I replied and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Oh yeah? Achira tells me something else... I quote: "He drags strange women into the house every night, I can't stand the moaning any longer," Ryan teased me, which made us both laugh.

"How's Catherine?" I asked quietly, staring into the void. The heartache was back, I remembered all too well the day I had to turn Catherine down. No one had ever broken my heart before, but Catherine was the one who had done it, even if it was unintentional.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders and sighed softly: "Catherine, not a day goes by that she doesn't think about you..." Ryan said and then took another sip of bourbon.

"How's the little one?" I asked and had to smile slightly. Ryan pulled out his mobile phone and nodded, "He's doing well, see for yourself." He showed me a video of Henry making his first attempts at walking.

The video warmed my heart and made me feel something again for a long time... Love.

Even though it wasn't my own son, when we found out about the pregnancy, I was as happy as if it was my own child.

"Wow ... He's grown up a lot", I realised that time had passed pretty quickly, even though it seemed like forever. Since leaving her, my sense of activity and responsibility had disappeared, maybe that was why.

Ryan nodded. "I hate to lecture you, Ilay, but you need to get your life back on track..." At least Catherine thinks you have," he bit his lower lip uncertainly and gave me a dirty look.

"Easy for you to say... After all, you weren't the one who got rejected after all that mess ..." I felt my blood begin to boil again.

My own words stabbed me in the heart.

"Do you think it was easy for Catherine?" What do you think we've been through? I had to look after two babies instead of one. You're just drowning in self-pity, where do you think it's going to end?" Ryan countered, putting his glass to one side.

"Where will it end?" I laughed and shook my head.

"You seem to have forgotten that I'm immortal. This will never fucking end. I should have just been banished, it would have been a lot easier than sinking into self-pity." It would have been easier indeed... At least I would have had my peace.

"And you believe what you just said? Do you believe your own words, Ilay?" He asked me, smiling at me.

Damn Achira ... Today was not a good day to annoy me.

"Just listen, after this you can teleport me away again." He paused and pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket. I watched him and frowned.

"I've spoken to Eleonora, she's our witch in the pack. There's a once in a lifetime chance that Catherine and you can see each other without feeling any pain. She can maintain a parallel world for ten minutes where you can talk to each other, then you'll be catapulted out of there..." He handed me the envelope and looked at me seriously.

"She's finally managed to overcome her sadness, and only for Henry's sake... I don't know what would happen if you saw each other again. Maybe you'll give it a few more years before you fall back on it, or only use it when you can't..."

I could understand what Ryan was trying to explain to me. He had found a way for me to see Catherine again for a brief moment, and again, that brief moment could undo everything Ryan had been working on.

I rubbed my temples and sighed softly "It's no use... We both know that Cate is unstable when it comes to her mental health. We see each other for ten minutes and then cry for weeks after those ten minutes... The point is clear, Ryan. It's going nowhere," I replied and pushed the letter back to him.

"I'll take that risk if it helps you," he finally said, patting me on the back. "I'll make sure she's okay," he said again, but we both knew it was easier said than done.

"I'm fine, Ryan, don't worry about me," I confirmed to him, glancing at the shelf of assorted alcohol.

"You're not avoiding the bourbon in this case either," he said with a grin, glancing at my glass and the bottle next to it.

I shook my head and had to smile: "I got the fact that I drink bourbon from you... It always reminds me of our time together."

"I honestly almost figured you'd turn down my offer..." Ryan said, pulling out another envelope.

"To deal with all this, Catherine wrote letters..." I think you should read them," he finished the last sip of bourbon and stood up again.

"I have to go now, Ilay." It was good to see you again. I can only hope that you'll keep a cool head and become a decent Ilay again," I laughed at his words and nodded slightly, "I can't promise, but I'll try," I'll try... How many times have I failed?

He gave me a brotherly hug, which I returned "Well then, I'll see you one day"

"Take care, Ryan. Take good care of them both," I said goodbye and watched as Ryan disappeared into thin air.

I looked at the thick envelope Ryan had left behind and sighed, "What a bollocks..." I muttered, tucking the envelope into my coat.

Was it wise to read Catherine's letters?

Maybe I'm the one who's mentally unstable...

I decided to leave it alone for the time being, because I still had some work to do before I let anyone soften me up.

Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire, Just to get close to you

Can we burn something, babe? And I run for miles just to get a taste

Must be love on the brain

That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way)

It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good And I can't get enough

Must be love on the brain yeah And it keeps cursing my name

No matter what I do, I'm no good without you And I can't get enough

Must be love on the brain

The song by Rihanna - Love on the brain, made me feel every word.

I finally got up and grabbed my coat and ran out of the Heavens.

The good thing about Daemon Heaven? There was no sun shining brightly. It was more of a reddish sky, which was fine with me visually.

I decided I'd had enough for today. I would tackle Zamiel another day. After all, I had all the time in the world.

I teleported back into the house and looked around me. There wasn't a soul around, no wonder. It was already late at night, it was twenty-two o'clock. I had lost all sense of time, which is why I ran into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

I made myself a small sandwich and sat down at the table.

As I took a leisurely bite, I heard someone running down the stairs.

Delilah ran into the kitchen in her black satin pyjamas and opened the fridge. She had tied her long black hair up in a ponytail.

She reached for the carton of milk and as she turned to the cupboard to grab a glass, she was startled when she saw me.

"Oh... I'm sorry," she whispered softly, feeling caught out by my observation.

I shook my head and nodded to her "It's all right, you couldn't have known," I said to her and took another bite of my sandwich.

She also sat down on a chair while she drank her cold milk.

Her resemblance to Catherine was striking. The only difference between them was that Delilah's face was rounder in shape.

"Do you have a family, Delilah?" I asked her, to which she looked at me in surprise and thought for a moment.

Hmm, what are you thinking about Laylah? I scrutinised her unobtrusively and watched as she bit the inside of her cheek.

"Yes, I have," she finally said and looked at me.

"Aren't they looking for you?" I asked her, pretending to be surprised.

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head "I haven't had any contact with them for a long time," she replied and finished her milk. That was the end of the subject.

I nodded understandingly and didn't want to offend her. It seemed as if she wasn't prepared to talk to me about it. She probably didn't want to talk to me at all and just felt obliged to because I was me.

I finished my meal too and left my plate, which she put in the dishwasher without comment.

The way Kheira had told it, Delilah's father was also an influential man among the demons, if Zamiel Redington wasn't good enough for his daughter. That probably meant something.

However, I would look into this matter over the next few days. I felt like a detective as far as that was concerned.

I finally ran up the stairs followed by Delilah. As my bedroom was further back, I turned to her, "Good night," I said to her and finally ran into my room.

"Good night," I heard her say quietly before she entered her room and closed the door.

I entered my room and sat down in front of my fireplace. I lit the fire and watched the flames as they ignited.

The crackling was like music to my ears and I leant back comfortably in my armchair.

I held the envelope Ryan had given me in my hand and wondered whether I should open it.

I had to swallow hard and didn't know if I could bear what I was about to read...

Just the thought of Catherine made me feel sick to my stomach.

I breathed in and out deeply... I could hear my own pulse beating and if I didn't know any better, that envelope made me nervous.

After a year, Catherine still had a big influence on me.

I bit my lower lip and tore open the envelope.

I pulled out a pile of letters that Catherine had written.

Even her scent still clung to the paper...

This might be a challenge after all.

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