Darkest Before the Dawn (male/male)
It's Gotta Be Okay

Felix

Finding a text from Mew when I woke up created warmth in my chest.

Found a vampire lair (it’s daytime when I send this, don’t worry). Found Thomasina and Ruby and will send them home. Here’s my GPS location. I wish you were here with me.

I would have given up anything to have been there with him, too.

The night we had was beyond words. He welcomed my past with encouragement and open arms, accepting me in ways I hadn’t done for myself. There was a comfort that I had taken in him, one that I couldn’t think I would get from him.

He had fallen asleep during Captain America, bundled in my comforter, his curls smushed up from the pillow. He probably hadn’t meant to go to sleep. I welcomed it. He felt at ease around me, all the anxiety and intensity finally having slipped away from his face. When he slept and wasn’t panicking, he was soft.

There were several times throughout the night I had to stop myself from waking him to a kiss.

Or more. Maybe more. I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to think of Mew beyond kissing. It made my head buzz. But I was fine with that and with us taking this slow. Whatever it took to make him understand that he was becoming my motivation to exist.

A familiar ache resounded in the chambers of my heart.

Once the sun had set, I was blasting out of my home, headed south to Florida, already having memorized the location Mew was in. He had been at a condemned motel, Fisherman’s Keep, for about two hours now, hopefully discovering more demons that he and Goldie could rescue.

They found Thomasina and Ruby. I couldn’t be prouder of my two detectives.

I could have kicked myself for allowing my own feelings about Mew prevent me from letting him do his job. He was a damn good magical enforcer. I knew that. I’ve known that since June, ever since I had started at MMES, and he had bounded into the meeting room, regaling everyone about his encounter with a hippogriff whose broken hoof was making it rampage.

He was never afraid to be himself, earning my admiration immediately.

I couldn’t wait to see him.

I couldn’t wait to hold him, know he was safe, know he was mine.

Finding Goldie doubled over on the ground when I arrived created a cavern in my stomach.

Akiya stood near her, catching my eye when I stumbled to a stop in front of the motel. He was leaning against his car, arms across his chest, a dejected expression worn on his face. Three feet from him was Goldie, sobbing, curled in on herself.

Oh, no. No, no.

The cavern inside of my gut widened into a chasm, taking with it the hopes that I had created.

“Marigold,” I whispered, dropping to her level, securing my arm around her quaking shoulders. She was hysterical. “Goldie, you’re okay. It’s okay.”

“It’s not!” she bellowed, finally looking at me. Her skin was glowing, the emotions high. Around the crown of her head, a bouquet of zinnias and columbines had sprouted. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” She grappled for my arm, leaning into my hold, wailing into my shirt.

I looked to Akiya for confirmation of what I already knew. He gave a subtle nod, his jaw tight and eyebrows furrowed.

Choking down impulses wasn’t easy. It took all my willpower to stay there with Goldie and not chase after Mew in whatever direction they took him in. When I saw red, I empathized with Mew when he said he would kill Richard on my behalf. I would do it myself now if I had to.

I would eviscerate an army if meant Mew would smile.

But for now, without any information, playing the role of best friend instead of boyfriend was prioritized. “It’s not your fault,” I assured the nymph, squeezing her to me, wishing I had the same warming energy as she did to help her better. “It’s absolutely not your fault.”

Akiya allowed us to huddle there for a few minutes, letting me soak it in and giving Marigold time to calm down. It gave me time to absorb the scenery around us, where Goldie had clearly put in her work. Roots had been jerked up from beneath the soil, trunks belonging to old Southern oaks torn from their bases. Plants of all types had grown and flowered to their full vibrancy. Parts of the motel were swamped with vines as if it had been siting here for decades, not just a few years.

It was impressive.

Marigold’s breathing began regulating normally, though she was still sniffling and gripping onto me. She had to be exhausted.

“Are you okay, physically?” I don’t know what I would have done if I had showed up to both detectives missing or severely injured.

She nodded and pulled back, showing me her arm where her cardigan sleeve had been pulled down. “They bit me, but I only have sap in me, so they released me,” she whimpered, revealing her arm to me. Around the area she had been bitten, a trickle of golden sap had congealed over.

Now was not the time to admit I never knew this about nymphs.

Unfolding his arms, Akiya pushed a hand through his hair. “If you two would like to recoup at my home, I welcome you there. It may be safer for everyone, too.” I knew he didn’t want to say anything about Evander’s safety, probably wishing to return home to his husband.

I drove Goldie’s car while she sat in the passenger’s seat, her head on the window, tears slipping out of her eyes. The radio was silent, only the sounds of tires on crumbling pavement beneath us. It was for the best that she didn’t talk to me. I wouldn’t know what to say to her at that moment, not when my mind was absorbed with Mew.

I don’t know when I had become obsessed with him like this. I wanted to unravel him, pull apart his thoughts and the deepest whims of his heart, figure out how I could secure a place there alongside Goldie and Cadence.

Hopefully, there would be time to do that.

When we arrived at Akiya’s, my first thought was that I had arrived at the wrong home. Navy blue paint with white trim greeted us, the waterfront cottage appearing out of character for the reaper and vampire couple. A Husky greeted us at the front door, howling to greet Akiya and us, Goldie’s lips temporarily curling upwards from the attention.

In the kitchen (I wondered if they had it refurbished professionally or did it themselves), Evander was standing near the sink, placing an emptied glass into it. I recognized the scent, my mouth salivating reluctantly. “Welcome to our home.” He moved into the living room, shaking my hand, and sweeping Marigold into a hug. She probably needed as many as she could get.

Akiya stood off to the side, frowning. “Please make yourselves comfortable. Whenever you’re ready to talk about our next steps, find me in my office. I have to type up a report from everything Detective Marigold told me.”

“I can leave you two alone, too. Feel free to use our living room or sit on the back porch. Detective Elliot, help yourself to any of the blood packs I have in the fridge.” Evander followed his husband upstairs, presumably to an office, leaving Marigold and I by ourselves.

It didn’t last long. “I’m going to use the restroom and clean myself up some,” the nymph whispered, voice broken and raw. She probably needed some time alone.

I knew I wanted it. Finding myself on the back porch, facing the Atlantic, I settled myself in an Adirondack, curling my legs up to my torso. My throat had tightened, and there was a wobble in my jaw. In my chest, a pit grew, then swelled up into a mountain, spewing the burst of emotion that I had.

I allowed myself to cry. It was silent, in a way I hadn’t bawled since realizing I wouldn’t be able to return to my wife and children. It was one of mourning and loss. There wasn’t much time to let it out, knowing Goldie wouldn’t be long, so I allowed it to come out in heaps, gobs of tears flowing from me.

It didn’t help. I wanted so desperately for it to slap a bandage over the hurt within me, like crying so often did for humans. It only reaffirmed that I had a reason to be this upset.

Mew was gone. He was taken from me.

And it wasn’t like last time, when I knew he’d at least be safe with his parents in Hell. I was at least able to make slight contact with him then. Now. . .I didn’t know. I didn’t know, and there was nothing I enjoyed about that. I never didn’t know.

Usually, I’d drown myself in work to distract from the pain, getting immediately started with hunting down answers, tracking down any soul that could provide me help. Grief was a fair excuse to give me some time before diving back into this.

Thankfully, vampires didn’t cry blood. This sickness, the disease that caused vampirism, allowed me to have some human tendencies. It made it easy to clean up when I heard the sliding glass door open, then close. Warm honey and sunshine drifted up my nose.

Marigold’s eyes were puffy when she sat in the chair adjacent to mine. The flowers that had surrounded her head were no longer there. Silently, she reached over and clasped my hand, her palm and stubby fingers clammy. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. She had the voice that said she had unleashed everything within her and couldn’t cry another drop.

I didn’t trust my own voice to not sound the same. “You did amazing, Goldie. I know you did.”

“If I had, he’d still be. . .” She exhaled and sniffed.

I turned my head to hers, giving her hand a squeeze. “Hey, we can’t do that to ourselves. If I had never put him on this case, nothing would have happened to him. If he wouldn’t have joined MMES, Richard never would have tasted demon’s blood and started this. See how quickly that can turn into a spiral?”

She nodded, closing her eyes. Waves crashed on the beach, close enough where I could see the shimmer that the moon cast on the moist shore. That was normally calming for me. “I’m so scared for him. We were fine at first. We rescued Ruby and Thomasina. I went on to find other hostages. It was daytime, and I thought. . .I figured I was safe. I didn’t expect humans. They weren’t. . .” Deep breath. “They aren’t supposed to be there. But I caught two of them before they got me.

“And then Barty showed up to help me. We had them. Until another human showed up. He shot Barty in the leg, and almost shot me. A-Another human took Barty.” She readjusted herself, holding her legs to her chest with her free arm. “We were escorted away, behind the motel. They subdued Barty. I-I don’t know how. Someone injected him with something. Another had me at gunpoint. It was dark by then, and a-a vampire bit me.” Her breathing quickened, glossy eyes searching my face now. “I won’t become one, will I? He couldn’t drink from me, but. . .”

I shook my head, her eyes closing in relief at that. “It takes a lot more than a few drinks. You’d almost have to be dead.”

I remembered it so well when Simone had taken from me, draining me of almost everything until I could barely stay conscious. Right before I had properly died, she gave me her blood in return. I caught her virus. It still sickened me.

“What happened after that?” I had to know. I had to get every detail out of her as soon as she was willing to tell me. I had to know the depiction of the person that I had to tear apart to get to Mew.

“I’m not too sure. I blew up. I’ve never done that before, but all the plants in that area—you saw what happened. The trees, the roots, and everything else. . .they exploded or something. A few vampires were impaled. I think I accidentally maimed a human or two. But it wasn’t enough. Barty was in a van at this point. I think other demons were in there with him. I don’t know who was driving. I don’t know how many I hurt. Akiya showed up and told me everything would be okay.”

“It will be.” Because it couldn’t not be. I had him back in my grasp for less than twenty-four hours. It wasn’t enough time with him. We could spend eternity together, and it would never be enough time. “We’re going to find Mew. We’ll deconstruct the BRF and tear apart every single vampire that has contributed to this chaos.”

“Can’t we ask Akiya to help us on this?”

I shook my head. “Reapers have a strong set of moral codes they live by. He’s told me before that they’re able to see the future and alternative timelines, but he can’t provide any unknown information with investigations. We have to do this all on our own.”

“That’s a stupid rule,” she huffed.

“It’s dangerous if we knew too much. Think about how hard it is for Akiya to bear all that information on his shoulders, but not be able to share it with anyone. He has to allow for the natural progression of things.” He had explained this to me twice now when I had considered going to him for help. It was irritating, knowing that he could have easily rescued Mew and ended the BRF, but I understood that this was how it had to be.

Goldie and I sat there in silence, listening to the tides lap at the shore carelessly. These waters were timeless. They had witnessed deaths, murders, battles. Trade happened on these waters. Vacations spent with loved ones on massive cruise ships happened in these waters. I hoped, one day, they would have Mew and me walking through them, holding hands.

I had never been on a date on this side of the Atlantic. Or, not a real one. Madeline didn’t count. I’d erase that part of my history if I could.

Going on a nighttime beach date would be the first thing I’d ask Mew to do when we got him back to safety.

Well, that, and to kiss me. Maybe to hold me.

Hell, I would take holding his hands right now.

“We need to call Cadence.” Marigold didn’t mean to interrupt my thoughts, unaware of all the things I wanted to do with her best friend. “I really don’t want to tell her.”

“Would you like me to do it?” It was the last thing I wanted to do. She was going to kill me.

Goldie shook her head. “We’ll tell her to meet us here. That way, we can both tell her.”

“Aah, so we can look her in the eye when she kills us. Smart.”

“You think she’ll be that mad?”

“You know how protective she is over her brother. Don’t forget that argument they got into when I kicked him off the case in the first place.”

Goldie closed her eyes and stretched her legs back out. She looked less than prepared. “Yeah. Okay. Maybe she’ll let us live until we find Barty, then she’ll kill us.”

As long as it meant I got to see Mew for a moment, that was alright with me.

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