(Life in the City Chat Room)

 

abby_gail, bento, RainyDayze, GringottsGoblin, DoritoMan, D.VaLuvr69, RadicalEdward, FusionGal, NotACop, Scholar, Anonymous4, Anonymous6, SevenNationArmy, BagOTrix, Faraday, BackpageGal, FullServiceMassage, daytrader, shadow_clone23, jenny8675309, Rabbit, Angelus and Tracker are in the chat.

 

bento: Oh, holy fuck! I think I’m stroking out. I just hallucinated these blue screens, and picking a class, and I don’t know what is real any more. What is going on?

shadow_clone23: Uh, if you’re stroking out, then I am too, cuz I saw the same thing.

SevenNationArmy: Everyone saw the same thing. It happened everywhere.

abby_gail: Guys, the blue screens aren’t half of it! My boyfriend turned into an Elf!

FusionGal: Shut up! No way that happened. I mean, the screens are one thing, but people suddenly becoming fantasy creatures? No way that’s real!

RainyDayze: No, it is true. I saw a catgirl down at the college campus!

Anonymous4: That’s a furry, or an otaku. Not a real catgirl.

BagOTrix: Uh, guys, there’s more. I just saw this weird slime monster, like in those RPGs? One just appeared outside my dorm!

daytrader: Yeah, sure. If you actually saw a monster, you’d be dead by now.

BagOTrix: No, really! I got the Ice Sorceress class. Blasted the thing with magic, and it froze up. Then Nikki, my roommate, smashed it with her softball bat!

Anonymous4: For real?

BagOTRix: For real! We even got XP from killing it, and a ‘slime core’, whatever that is.

Faraday: So, um, given what everyone’s said, it sounds like this ‘System’ turned the world into a game world.

Scholar: That hypothesis fits the facts at hand. However, if this hypothesis is true, then that truth brings up several disturbing questions.

Anonymous6: What is more disturbing than people suddenly turning into elves and slimes appearing out of nowhere?

Scholar: Simple. If this world reflects one like a video game, does this mean people can ‘respawn’? Will there be an ability to raise the dead? Or is death permanent? And what does this mean for views of the afterlife?

Faraday: Wait, are you serious? Respawning?

daytrader: Well, the world became like some kind of RPG LARP, so… maybe?

FusionGal: WICKED! Can you imagine some of the sick tricks you could pull if you could just respawn if you got thrashed on the landing?

daytrader: Except that’s only a possibility, FG. We don’t know for sure. And the only way to know is for someone to bite it, and see if they come back. You volunteering?

FusionGal: Uh, well, not when you put it like that.

daytrader: Didn’t think so.

FusionGal: Doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be cool.

 

SuzyQ has entered the chat.

 

SuzyQ: HELP! YOU’VE GOT TO HELP ME! THEY’RE ALL OVER THE PLACE!

abby_gail: Whoa, Suzy. What’s wrong?

SuzyQ: ZOMBIES!

abby_gail: What, like real zombies?

SuzyQ: YES! They’re all over the Center Point Mini-mall!

FusionGal: Sure, at this point I’m willing to believe anything. They Walking Dead or World War Z?

SuzyQ: I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have to call the cops, or someone! They’re killing everyone!

FusionGal: Slow zombies or fast zombies, Suzy.

SuzyQ: Slow, I guess? They don’t go too fast, but they’re all over, and they’ve blocked the exits!

NotACop: Suzy, where are you right now?

SuzyQ: The manager’s office of the Footlocker. I was, uh, on my break with the manager, and he left to give me a bit of time to clean up. I was about to leave, when I looked out through the blinds on his window, and saw Tina and this black guy come into the back room. They looked like they’d been in a fight! Blood was all over them. The manager started to yell at them, but then they attacked him! I didn’t know what to do, so I turned off the lights and locked the door. THEN HE GOT UP AND JOINED THEM!

NotACop: All right, Suzy, I want you to stay calm, and stay quiet. I’m listening on my scanner right now, and things are going crazy all over the city. Are you on a phone, or the computer?

SuzyQ: I’m on my phone. Why?

NotACop: All right, I’m sure the manager has a charger in the office for his phone, so I want you to plug your phone in, so you don’t have to worry about the battery. Be as quiet as you can, OK? And stay out of sight of the windows.

SuzyQ: O-ok. Are you calling the cops?

NotACop: Yeah, Suzy. I’m calling them. But it may take them a while to get to you. The city didn’t exactly plan for an apocalypse like this one.

SuzyQ: SHIT! I just got a call!

abby_gail: PUT IT ON SILENT!

SuzyQ: OH GOD, THEY’RE BANGING ON THE DOOR!

NotACop: Suzy, are you all right?

abby_gail: GET OUT OF THERE!

NotACop: Suzy?

 

SuzyQ has been disconnected.

 

NotACop: God damn it.

FusionGal: Damn. Nothing you could do. Nothing any of us could do.

daytrader: And I think we have the ‘respawn’ question answered. It is a big, fat no, it seems.

RadicalEdward: If only the Konami code worked in real life…

NotACop: OK, listen up, because this may save some lives. These monsters that are showing up? You can’t use normal weapons against them. You gotta have a System weapon, or magic, or something like that. You shoot someone with a shotgun, and it just knocks them over. But you cut them with a butterknife recognized by the System as a weapon, and you might do some damage. Don’t ask me how it works. We don’t know. We’re as clueless as you are.

Anonymous6: What about the reports that the President is dead?

Scholar: Wait, what reports?

Anonymous6: A source of mine said that He of the Questionable Toupee was out at Area 51 today. They’d heard he was going to tour the base.

D.VaLuvr69: Goddamnit, if that orange idiot touched something and set off the fucking apocalypse, I’m going to hunt him down and throw him to the fucking zombies.

jenny8675309: Well, good luck with that. The Air Force base that is supposed to house Area 51 just blew its top. Like, mega-nuked. You could see the flash on the public satellite pictures, before they started going wonky. I think something is affecting the signal.

D.VaLuvr69: Well, that’s fucked.

FullServiceMassage: No, I think we’re all fucked.

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