Karl

Abby stands after her interaction with the woman and her children, and her eyes meet mine beneath the colored lights.

"What?" she asks with a slight chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She looks beautiful, her pinkish pale skin and her pearlescent white dress illuminated by the dark purple lighting.

I shake my head. “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.”

But that's a lie.

Watching Abby interact with those kids, her smile radiant as ever and her laughter so infectious, I'm instantly reminded of a time before everything fell apart.

It takes me back to a moment from the past, a time when Abby approached me with a bashful expression on her face, her eyes filled with hope and uncertainty...

I was sitting at my desk, neck-deep in paperwork and exhausted after a long day. My hair was a mess, my eyes were bleary, and I had a pain in my neck that just wouldnt go away thanks to hours of hunching over my desk.

That was why, when I heard a knock on the door, I answered more sharply than I intended.

"What is it?" I called out, my voice blunt and annoyed. I figured that it was my secretary or my Beta coming to give me some more paperwork, or maybe to tell me about some new issue or another. There was a silence before a meek and familiar voice responded. “It's me, Karl.”

The second I recognized that voice, a feeling of guilt washed over me for answering the way I did. I sighed, placing my pen down.

“I'm sorry,” I called out. “Come in, Abby.” A moment later, the door cracked open and Abby slipped in. I knew right away that something was up, judging from the way her eyes darted around and the way she wrung her hands in front of herself.

“Is something on your mind?” I asked.

She stood in front of me for a few moments, fidgeting with her fingers, and finally, in a soft, stammering voice, she spoke up. “Karl, I... I want to have a baby.”

Her words caught me off guard, as we had never broached the topic of starting a family before. The idea had never been openly discussed between us, and yet, here she was, revealing her deepest wish. I studied her face, trying to gauge her sincerity, and saw nothing but earnestness in her eyes. “You do?” I replied, my voice filled with surprise and the tiniest shred of joy.

She nodded. “I do.”

"Abby, why didn't you say anything before?”

She looked down, her cheeks tinged a delicate shade of pink. “I guess I didn't know how you would react,” she admitted. “And I thought it might sound silly, or that you weren't ready.”

I couldn't help but smile, my heart swelling with warmth. I stood up from my desk, taking her hands in mine, and pulled her into my arms. Truthfully, I had been thinking about it for a while too, although maybe not as intensely as her.

"Abby, you have no idea how happy this makes me,” I whispered, my lips finding hers in a tender kiss. “I've always wanted to start a family with you.”

Her eyes widened, and she tossed her hair over her shoulder. It was black at the time, a phase that I coerced her into. Now, looking back, I know that her natural blonde always suited her better. “Really?” she asked. “You do?”

I nodded. “Of course I do,” I said. “Abby, whatever you want, we'll do it. We can start trying right now if that's what you want to do.”

With a smirk, Abby's eyes narrowed and her voice grew husky. “Like... right now?”

Before I knew it, our lives were twisted into an endless string of hot sex and pregnancy tests. It was as if the thought of trying awakened something in Abby, and she was insatiable.

We were both thrilled at the prospect of becoming parents, of bringing a new life into the world together. Our discussions shifted to plans, dreams, and the future we hoped to build as a family. It was a time filled with hope and excitement.

But as the months passed and Abby still wasn't getting pregnant, despite our efforts and countless attempts, we realized something was off. We decided to consult a doctor who conducted tests and examinations.

The news we received was disheartening.

“I'm very sorry,” the doctor said with a sigh as he looked at the file in his hands. “But Abby, you only have one functioning ovary. Your chances of conceiving are slim.”

Abby's eyes filled with tears as the doctor's words sank in.

“Is there nothing we can do?” I found myself asking.

The doctor shook his head. “IVF may be an option,” he said, “and there's always surrogacy or adoption if that doesn't work. But there's no way to make the other ovary function.”

“I won't do any of those treatments,” Abby said almost immediately. “If I can't have my own baby the natural way, then I don't want one at all.”

The doctor and I exchanged looks, shocked by Abby's words. Later, in privacy, he explained to me that it was a common reaction for people to have, but that Abby would likely come around to different options down the road.

Little did I know that, less than a year later, we would be divorced.

The night she received the news, her sobs were uncontrollable. I felt helpless, as if there was no way to console her.

And in the end, I left her alone in our bedroom, drowning in her sorrow all on her own, unable to offer the comfort and solace she sought.

I retreated to my study, and I drank myself into a stupor. I left her when she needed me the most, and I always hated myself for it...

Now, as I watch Abby with those children, her smile and laughter genuine, a pang of remorse hits me.

I can't help but feel like a jerk for not being there for her when she needed it the most. My own sadness and frustration had led me to shut myself off from her, and it's a decision I deeply regret. Now, I find myself wondering if Abby still holds that same desire to have children, if she would be open to it in the future. The possibility of giving her the family she always wanted, and being the man she needs, tugs at my heart.

But reality reminds me that we are not together, that nothing significant has transpired between us, and we have yet to have the crucial conversation about what we really want from each other.

For all I know, our current interactions may amount to nothing, and our paths may not lead us back together after all.

But tonight, I choose not to dwell on what may or may not happen in the future.

Instead, I decide that for now I'll just focus on Abby and cherish these moments we have together, because there's no knowing how long they'll last...

While I'm also trying to ignore the looming shadow in the corner that is Gianna, the woman who led to our gut-wrenching divorce in the first place.

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