Chasing His Kickass Luna Back
Chapter 0292

Karl

The drive home feels like an eternity, each passing minute melting into the next. I can't stop thinking about how I left Abby's house, with nothing but a stiff hug and a half-smile.

Abby's words, or rather, her lack of words, continue to echo in my mind as I drive. I thought she might react differently, maybe with jealousy or a desire to win me back. And in a sick sort of way, I think I really wanted her to react like that. I wanted her to get upset, to tell me that she didn’t want me to find a new date, to tell me that she wanted to be my Luna again.

But she didn't do any of those things. Instead, she calmly said she wished me well on my “romantic journey’. The words almost make me feel sick just thinking about them. She seemed so calm, so collected.

I can't help but wonder: Did she ever have the same feelings for me that I have for her? What about all of the times we kissed? What about all of the times we almost hooked up? What was any of that to her?

Suddenly, my wolf's voice permeates my mind, a calming echo in the back of my head. “Do you think she was telling the truth?” he asks, sounding just as pained as I feel.

I grip the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white as my mind goes over my conversation with Abby over and over and over again. “It certainly seems that way,” I say out loud, even though the words sound hollow to me. “Like she doesn't even care. Like she’s a little relieved, even.”

My wolf's voice is filled with sadness as he responds. “I think she was bluffing,” he says. “She had to be. I know she cares about us.”

“I don't believe it,” I answer as I guide the car around a sharp country road, the curve causing my wheels to skid slightly on the asphalt.

I'm going too fast; I'm too distracted. I should slow down, but I don't. When I come out of the curve, I just hit the gas a little bit harder, reveling in the sound of the engine roaring.

“Take it easy, Karl,” my wolf urges me, sounding worried now. “You're angry, and you're being reckless.”

“I'm not angry,” I say, even though we both know that's a complete and utter lie. “I'm just...”

My voice trails off. God, I don't even know what I am right now. I don't know what I want to be. I hit the gas a little harder as I come to a long stretch of straight road, the trees looming all around me. The road is pitch black save for the bright beams of my headlights, casting eerie shadows onto the sides of the road.

“Karl...” My wolf sounds even more worried now.

“I thought she cared,” I find myself saying, feeling as though I'm on autopilot now. The trees are whirring by in a dark green blur, patches of leaves and pine needles. Their tall, slender trunks are like silent sentinels, flickers in time that are long gone by the time I take my next breath.

But then, suddenly, I see it up ahead. Movement in the road.

I slam on my brakes as the creature comes into view. The world turns into a cacophony of screeching tires and shuddering breaths, the scent of burnt rubber and the sight of two wide, terrified eyes.

Somehow, I manage to come to a stop mere inches before hitting it. My breath comes out in a short gasp, my fingers so tight around the steering wheel that it almost hurts.

I stare at the creature, and it stares at me. A lone buck crossing the road. His antlers are still velvety; he's young, and if I hadn't stopped a moment ago, I would have ensured that his velvet never turned into something studier and older.

Before I know it, the buck is leaping off into the trees, and I'm alone again. I take another shuddering breath, cursing quietly, before I lift my foot off of the gas.

I'll go slower now.

My wolf falls silent now, but there isn't much else to say.

As I continue to drive, I glance at the voicemails on my car phone, a dozen missed calls during the dinner with Abby. Ignoring them wouldn't be wise, so I decide to call my Beta, Marcus, back.

I need a distraction, something to occupy my thoughts and provide a brief respite from the ache in my chest.

“Karl, where the hell did you disappear to during the luncheon? You left everyone hanging,” Marcus scolds as he answers the call without so much as a hello.

I sigh, realizing that my abrupt departure probably raised more questions than answers. “I'm sorry, Marcus. Something important came up, and I had to handle it.”

There's a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Marcus grumbles, “Well, you better not make a habit of it. You had three women at that luncheon who were still interested, and I collected their information for you.”

I can hear the annoyance in Marcus’ voice, and I can't blame him for being frustrated with my behavior. “Thanks, Marcus,” I find myself saying, feeling as though I'm on autopilot again. “I'll consider which one I want to pursue and call her personally.”

After we exchange a few more words, I hang up, leaving Marcus to deal with the aftermath of my unexplained absence. The road stretches ahead, and I can't help but think back on those women at the luncheon.

Personality-wise, I didn't particularly like any of them. They were all mostly polite and well- mannered, but they were just so... superficial. It was clear that they were interested in my position as Alpha more than anything else.

My wolf nudges at my thoughts, his voice filled with concern. “Karl, are we really considering choosing a mate who's not Abby just for the pack’s sake?”

I grip the steering wheel even tighter, willing myself not to do anything reckless again. “I don’t have a choice. I need to find a date to the Alpha party if I want to keep my status. Being without any potential Luna for so long isn't a good look.”

“Is being an Alpha more important than the love of your life?”

I can't help but scoff. “Love of my life?” I spit out, the words tasting like venom. “That's long gone by now. That bridge has been crossed, broken, and burned. Abby and I can't be together again.”

My wolf sighs. “You're shifting into your old mindset. Is that what you really want?”

“What mindset?” I ask.

“Your Alpha mindset. Always putting duty above everything else. Turning off your feelings.”

I open my mouth to answer, but wind up closing it again. Maybe my wolf is right; maybe I am turning off my feelings. But it's out of necessity, not desire.

Abby and I won't work out. That much is obvious. And right now, Abby can't be the number one thing on my mind anymore.

I've got a pack to run, an Alpha gathering to attend, and a status to keep.

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