Chasing His Kickass Luna Back
Chapter 0267

Karl

“Talk to him. It's good for him to hear some language—keeps the brain active.”

The doctor's words still linger in the back of my mind as I stand in my brother's bedroom, looking down at him. He's laying in his bed, still unconscious.

I hate seeing him like this. The tubes, the IV, the sound of the machines... It's all in such stark contrast to the warm mahogany wood and plush blankets. Someone brought fresh flowers, which are in a vase next to the bed. I'm not sure who brought them, or even why; it's not like he can see them.

But I guess I'm just being pessimistic. The flowers are a nice touch.

I fumble with the edge of Ethan's blanket, lost in thought. The silence in the room is oppressive, and I find myself yearning for any sign of improvement.

“Ethan,” I start, my voice cracking slightly. It feels awkward, speaking to someone who might as well be a world away. But the doctor's words still prod at the back of my mind, urging me on.

“Ethan, it's Karl. I..." I trail off, unsure how to continue. Does he even know I'm here? Does he recognize my voice? I clear my throat, as if that will help somehow. "You know, they say it's good for you to hear voices. Keeps the gears turning up there.” I tap my temple with a forced smile, as if he can see the gesture.

The room remains silent aside from the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. I sigh and walk around to the side of the bed where an armchair is sitting. I sit down in it, resting my elbows on my knees. “You've missed a lot while you've been out, Ethan. The pack is doing okay, considering...” My words falter, the mention of the pack reminding me of Abby, her laugh echoing in my mind.

I glance around, half expecting a nurse to walk in and catch me pouring my heart out to my unconscious brother. But we're alone, just Ethan and me.

“You remember Abby, right? My ex-wife?” I ask quietly, as if I'm bringing the topic up to a friend over a casual dinner.

I pause, searching Ethan's face for any flicker of recognition. Nothing. A deep breath in, then out, and I continue, the floodgates finally opening.

“It's... It's a mess, Ethan. I want her back. We got close, very close, and I thought everything would work out. But she pushed me away. It's like... it's like she’s scared of anything real, you know?” My voice wavers, and I press my lips together, surprised at my own honesty.

The thought that he will never hear this, that I can say anything, is freeing in a way I didn't expect. Maybe that's why I continue.

“She's just so frustrating. She has this wall up all the time, and just when I think we're getting somewhere, she shuts down. It's like she doesn't trust me. But, shit, how could she? I divorced her. I divorced her over nothing.”

I rub the back of my neck, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. “I haven't heard from her since that night. I don’t even know if she wants to talk. Maybe she’s moved on, just like how she moved on so quickly after our divorce.” I pause and chuckle, but there's no humor in it. “I'm just being bitter.”

The silence that follows my words is punctuated only by the beeping of the heart monitor. Ethan's chest rises and falls with a steady rhythm that is somehow both comforting and maddening. I wish he would just say something. Anything.

“I should be mad, shouldn't I?” I find myself continuing without entirely meaning to. “Mad that she pushed me away. But I'm not mad, not really. I'm just... hurt.”

Ethan's stillness is a stark contrast to the turmoil inside me. “But she’s not just some girl. She's. Abby. She's the only person who has ever made me feel like I'm not going through the motions. When I'm with her, Ethan, it's like I'm actually alive...”

I pause. I can't help but laugh again, shaking my head at the absurdity. “And now I'm just talking to my brother who's in a coma, hoping he can hear me, hoping he wakes up and tells me to stop being such an idiot.”

"You know what the worst part is?” I continue. “I don't even know if she feels the same. Maybe her restaurant is more important. And in a weird way, I'm happy that it is, because it's like her baby. And at the very least, I'm glad to know that she’s gonna make it. Even without me.”

I lean back, the chair creaking under my weight. “I guess the pack should be my baby. That I should know that I'm gonna make it without her. But... God, I just miss her. What's an Alpha without his Luna, right?”

The feeling of talking to Ethan, even in this state, is oddly cathartic. My chest feels lighter, though the ache for some sort of response is growing by the moment.

“I just wish you could give me some advice, big brother. You always knew what to say.” My voice is barely a whisper now. “I guess I just have to figure this one out on my own, huh?”

I stand, stretching the stiffness from my limbs, and look down at Ethan with a tenderness that surprises even me. “I'll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and every day after that until you wake up. And maybe one day, you'll tell me all about what you heard while you were asleep.”

I pat his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Hang in there, Ethan.”

Without another word, I slip out of the room. The doctor is waiting for me, but just as I'm about to open my mouth to say something, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I slip it out and feel my heart practically stop.

It's Abby.

My heart wants to answer—my wolf is screaming for me to answer, to see what she’s calling about, to hear her voice.

But I can't. Without another thought, maybe because it would hurt too much, I hit decline and slip my phone back into my pocket.

My wolf goes silent inside of me. He's angry, maybe for good reason.

But I meant what I said to my brother: my pack should be my baby. It should be my lifeline, and I've already spent too much time neglecting it. It's time to be an Alpha and do what I set out to do.

On Saturday, no matter how much it hurts, I'll interview those women. None of them will be Abby, but it doesn't matter. I need a date for the Alpha party, and it can't be Abby. I need to show that I've moved on, that I'm stronger now, that I'm prepared to keep the role of Alpha when my brother wakes up.

And someday, if I manage to find someone who even amounts to being half as good as Abby, maybe I'll take a new wife.

After all... What is an Alpha without his Luna?

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