CHASE
10

I chased after her, running and running but never catching up, her silk brown hair moved with the wind, her heart beating loud. I ran, I had to get to her. I ran, I had to stop her. With every step she left bloody footprints, there was blood. Lots of blood. I looked down at my hands as I ran, it was covered in blood. Her blood. She was running away from me.

I jumped up from my deep slumber, clutching my head in my hands, sharp shooting pains approached my skull from every single way possible. My adrenaline high on the dream that had me panting for air. I groaned my way out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom, getting on my knees, I stuck my head in the toilet and threw up. Cold sweat ran down the side of my forehead as I tried to keep my shit together. I didn't know why I felt sick, maybe it was the medication I had been taking for about a month now, or maybe it was the intensity of the dream. I never got sick, at some point I considered my body being made out of steel seeing as I never once caught a flu or any of that crap yet here I was with my head in the toilet, throwing up my guts.

I'd splashed water across my face, just taking a minute and consuming the soothing cold liquid that ran down my skin and cooled down the fever that was burning me from inside and out. It had to be the medication, I wasn't used to taking pills, it seemed as though my body was fighting off whatever they were shoving down my throat.

It'd been a month since my game ended, a month since I killed my last prey. I had planned to get out of here soon after but I got caught up, guards were all over and next thing I know I was being force fed the drugs that I hadn't taken the first three months I was here. I did feel different, the voices weren't there anymore, but the thoughts, they were permanent. The thoughts stayed with me and for the most part they were just thoughts about Bella. Where she was and what she was doing. I knew I wasn't allowed visitors but it didn't stop me from thinking if she even has tried to come and visit me. Surely she knew by now about what I'd done. I didn't know why I cared, which in reality I didn't care. I just wondered.. wondered if she thought about me too.

At some point I fell asleep, fell asleep and woke up with a nurse in my face. It wasn't that perky blonde anymore, this one was a man. After my attack, they changed my guard too. I guess they didn't trust me to behave anymore. I didn't really give a shit. I'm more than happy not to see that all too happy blue eyed blonde strutting in and out of here like she owned the place. I didn't care about anything at all. I had got what I wanted, I had finished what they started, I'd took them down one by one and that was enough for me. But it wasn't, it didn't seem enough, I needed something else.. something was missing, Bella was missing.

I thought back to the first day she walked in, she was so nervous, she looked like a frightened little girl and when she left I thought she'd never come back, but she did. She came back again and again. I still don't know why she came back, I don't know why she was so keen on figuring me out. She was different. She made it seem like everything was ok. It's like she didn't grasp the fact that she was in the same room as a murderer, the same room as a psychopath, the same room as me. It's like she put that part aside and in her eyes, I was just another person, another ordinary person. Only now I realised that with her, I felt human again. I felt real.

The bottle of water slipped out of my fingers and fell to the floor as I eyed the girl that just stepped inside of my room. Bella. My throat dry, the palms of my hands sweaty. She had came. I scanned every inch of her face and her body. She looked distant, not her usual cheery self, she looked nervous, just like the first day she came here.

She carefully shut the door behind her and pressed her back against it, contemplating whether or not she should greet me like she used to, instead she came out with, 'Why?'. I glanced at the spilt water on the floor, deciding to leave it there, standing as still as I could I clenched my teeth together, trying to form the words to her question. I knew what she was asking, why I did it, why I killed yet another, and why, just why did I prove her wrong, prove to her that I am a monster, that I do belong in this four walled room and this messed up life.

'Don't have anything to say? Do you know what it felt like to hear about what you did? To come here and get told that you're not allowed visitors. Oh and I didn't forget about the part where you weren't even taking your medication, why Chase?' She closed her eyes momentarily, trying to catch her breath, her fingers shook, I knew that she was frustrated, angry even. I wanted to hold her, to tell her everything from top to bottom but I just couldn't, I couldn't give myself an excuse for the things I've done and the lives I've took.

'Talk to me!' She walked over, stepping close enough to me where I could see the hurt in her face. I couldn't help but stare at her, quite frankly, I didn't know what to tell her. It is what it is and there was nothing to discuss about it. 'God, why am I even here?' She questioned herself, running her hand through her hair and pushing it aside from her face, she looked like she hadn't slept much, like she had spent her nights staying up trying to figure me out, spent her nights staying up, trying to see where I went wrong.

'It was nice meeting you Chase.' She eventually turned around and tried to walk away, clearly not trying anymore like she used to. It hurt to see her leave, to see her give up. I know she didn't want to, I didn't want her to either. Taking a step towards her walking away frame, I grabbed her from behind, wrapping my arms tightly around her torso and pulling her towards me, almost crushing her against my chest. I could feel her heart pounding against my arms, I knew she was shocked at my gesture. I held her tight, just inhaling her scent. Burying my face in her hair I whispered..

'Don't go.'

She stood still, her body stiff against me, I could hear her breathing heavy all the while I clutched onto her like my life depended on it. She let her head drop, a small sigh escaped her lips and then I was greeted with an 'ok.' Relief washed over me, knowing that I'd won her again. She wasn't going anywhere.

We stood there like that for a few silent moments, just getting high on each other's existence. I knew my time with her was limited. Not sure how long I had until she really gave up on me. But this time I could think clearly, I didn't want to let her go but I didn't know if her staying was smart. I was being selfish, I knew that. What was she suppose to do with a stone cold murderer that basically lived in a mental institution? What was she suppose to do with me?

'Can you talk to me now?' Her soft delicate voice broke the silence. She tried to move away from my tight grip but I held her still, I wasn't ready to let her go, I wasn't ready to face her again just yet. 'What do you want me to say, Bella?' She stilled at my question, hearing my voice was clearly getting to her but she wanted me to talk so I was going to do just that.

'I spent weeks trying to defend you, trying to give what you did an excuse, a reason. Truth is, there is no excuse for that, you took someone's life again, I thought maybe I could get through to you, to make you see that what you'd done was wrong but then you went and did it again. Was I that naive? To think that I could understand the mind of a psychopath?' It didn't hurt to hear her call me a psychopath, I knew that that is what I am. But it did hurt to hear her say it with such venom, such hate as if she despised me for being that person.

'She was from the same orphanage as you, they all were.' I knew where this was going before it even started. She'd looked into me. I didn't care that she knew, there was nothing to hide. I wasn't ashamed of myself for it, I was just ashamed that I'd let her down.

'What happened in that orphanage Chase? Please talk to me, show me that I'm not crazy for still having hope in you.' My thumb blindly reached for the tear that had escaped her hazel eyes and was running freely down her cheek. 'Tell me I'm not crazy Chase.' She tried to move away again but I tightened my grip around her, if she wanted me to talk she had to stay where she was, I couldn't look her in the eyes just yet. I didn't want to see the look on her face when I told her what I was about to tell her.

'I killed them because they killed me.' She went silent, completely silent. Waiting for me to explain, to tell her the things she so desperately wanted to know.

'After I killed my adopted parents I was put into a mental institution, only that one was much different to this one. That one was.. frightening.'

'They did things to me that I didn't understand, ran tests on me, painful tests. They messed with my brain. It was like they were constantly shoving things into my skull.'

'They called it 'tests'. It went on for about a year and then they sent me back to the orphanage since I was a minor. Dismissing my case and letting me back into the real world where real people and real monsters lurked. Those people you call a victim, they spent so long laughing at me, treating me like I was less than them. And at the end, they killed me. That Chase they knew died and I replaced him.'

I could hear her breathing again, she sounded like she was suffocating from my words. I held her tight, still not ready to let go, still not ready to say this to her face. I didn't want her to look at me like I was helpless, I didn't want her to see me as a charity case, I was far from that.

'What did they do to you?' She whispered, I didn't have to take a look at her to know her lips were trembling.

'The details aren't necessary but let's just say they made my life a living hell. Apparently I wasn't allowed to be treated like a person because I had killed my parents. They didn't even know why I did that yet they assumed the worst. I couldn't sleep at nights, every night they would pull off a new 'prank'. To them, it was funny. But to me, I was suffocating. The last time I saw them was the time they put this scar on my face. It started off as a joke for them, until shit got out of hand and one of them dug the knife right down my face.'

She lifted her small hands and held my arms that were still wrapped around her, showing me that she was right here.

'I didn't get to see which one of them did it, it was Halloween and they all were given costumes from the orphanage. They all wore masks but me. Maybe if I did wear a mask I wouldn't have this scar on my face right now. I almost lost my eyesight that night, I was taken to the hospital and informed that if the knife had moved an inch closer to my eye then I would've become blind.'

'Before I was taken to hospital, I warned them, I vowed to them that I'd come back for them, that they'd pay for this. I'm a man of my word Bella, so I did, just that.'

She turned around in my arms, I had finally loosened my grip on her. I was staring at the wall behind her when she looked at me. I knew she was crying, I didn't want to see it. I closed my eyes when her little fingers traced the skin on my face, she pulled my head towards her, when I opened my eyes, she was kissing the scar that marked my skin. I didn't know what I was feeling or why I told her any of that, but I knew that I didn't want her to go. For the first time in forever, I'd found someone that I felt at home with. Someone that didn't point fingers at me and assume the worst, I'd lost everything when I lost Sofia. And now I had found Bella.

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