Chain Gang All Stars
: Part 1: Chapter 14

Food floated to the ground around her. The drone that held the crate of curated meals was anti-grav, magnetically engineered. It flew with the same technology that kept the Anchor and the HMCs afloat. It made no noise as it slid through the air, part of a small flock of dark, smooth triangles, each dangling wire-net cargo holds carrying crates of food.

She could hear Staxxx in the shower as she watched them descend, dropping from the sky, then settling to an easy hover before releasing their loads in a circle around the Anchor, which floated above the ashes of last night’s fire. Randy Mac jumped to his basket, grinning wildly. He had paid his Blood Points to ensure his daily meal package reflected his status as a Reaper: hot food, prepared by an actual chef. Things that usually tasted fine, sometimes even very good.

Ice Ice and Sai and Randy huddled together around the Anchor, hardly moving from the spot where the food had been left. They, Thurwar knew, were the core of the Chain. Those three had made it through some real shit together. She was grateful for them and how completely they let her lead them. Even if Randy wanted Staxxx exclusively. Even if Sai had secretly, maybe, orchestrated some quarrel with Rico to put a stamp on Thurwar and Staxxx’s new decree.

“Eating time. Always a good time,” Mac said, pulling his portion toward a stump to sit down. Randy Mac had gone from using a thread of copper wire, strangling other Peanuts for dear life, to the confident, trident-wielding Reaper he was now. She had more than seen it. She had midwifed his survival, just as she had with so many of the others.

She looked at Rico, watched him snatch a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a “vitamin” juice box, and a banana. He glanced at Randy, Ice, and Sai, then began to walk off toward the second faction of the Chain: Gunny Puddles and Walter Bad Water. Gunny preferred to eat away from the core group, and Bad Water, a weak man who probably wasn’t going to last very long on this Chain or any other, had never been pulled in by the rest of the group. Bad Water had just recently been able to afford more than his standard PB & J sandwich and had even more recently taken to spending time with Gunny. They’d bonded after surviving their last deathmatch as a tag team. Few things brought people closer together than killing as a pair.

Bad Water had explained to Thurwar that he “thought Black people were swell,” but that it had seemed to him that Gunny was a lonely man who could use some company. Bad Water scratched at his purple headband and smiled as he opened his basket of food. As a Survivor, he probably had cheesy eggs and toast. After a few weeks of only peanut butter and jelly, the eggs and cheese tasted like life.

“You decent?” Thurwar called to Staxxx, her eyes still on Rico as he walked slowly toward Gunny and Bad Water.

“Never,” Staxxx said.

“I think it’s time to have breakfast with Rico,” Thurwar said. “I’m calling him in.” This was her job. She and Sun had figured out how to control a Chain together.

“Oh?” Staxxx sounded surprised, but happily so.

Was she in control? She was, and bringing Rico in would be a reminder to herself and everyone else of who she was.

“Yeah,” Thurwar said. “Why not?”

“Okay.” Thurwar heard the water’s flow cease. “Call him in.”

“Rico,” Thurwar called. He was just a few paces from Gunny and Bad Water. “Come have breakfast with me.”

Rico probably felt like he’d passed some sort of test. Thurwar looked over at Randy and Sai and Ice Ice. Each of them had been on the Chain much longer than Rico had when she’d called them in to come speak with her. Sai nodded. Ice chuckled to himself but nodded as well. Randy frowned, then shrugged and nodded too. She did not need their permission, but that moment of acknowledgment as Rico beamed and tried to collect himself was her way of showing that she still cared about their opinions. A-Hamm was not just Thurwar and Staxxx, but a collection of Links who were good and smart enough to protect one another. Rico hadn’t proven he deserved to be brought in this way. Not yet. But Thurwar viewed this as a piece of her parting duties. Housekeeping for what would be left after her.

—

Thurwar moved toward the case that held her own breakfast, then stopped. “Grab these two for me.” She pointed to the large, heat-insulated black box, which had her name embossed in gold letters on the side, and Staxxx’s crate, next to it, red and painted with black and white Xs all over. Rico picked them both up, throwing his own meal on top of Staxxx’s crate so he could hold it all in a stack.

Rico walked to just outside the tent, smiling stupidly at Thurwar.

Thurwar turned back inside. “We’re coming in,” she called.

Then she turned back to Rico, looked at the pride in his face and the food in his hands. “Come on,” she said. She tightened the long towel she was wearing and walked in. Rico followed her gleefully.

By the time Sai Eye Aye had joined the Chain, maybe even before that, most of the Links who found themselves drafted to A-Hamm knew well of Thurwar. They’d seen her highlights and been amazed by her body’s unwillingness to fold. Some had followed her before the merger of the Angola-Smith and Hammond Penitentiary Chains. By now she was the sole reason that a lot of the newbies joined CAPE at all. And Rico was the newest of the newbies. She and Sunset had meant something like hope for people like him. She resented it, but she also loved it, knowing that her name and life represented an entire avenue of possibility to people like Rico. Her survival made the impossible game seem possible. Of course they were foolish and misguided and would end up dead. But in her weaker moments she enjoyed being a beacon. When she was strong she knew she was a flame to moths.

“This crazy,” Muerte said as he took the space in. Staxxx had just re-robed. She had a foot on the basin, her back to them as she massaged cocoa butter into her leg.

“It’s a hard road to this,” Thurwar said.

“But also, you’re right, it is crazy,” Staxxx said as she turned.

Thurwar let him take in the space and put a dark robe on over her towel as he did. She let him feel welcomed in the luxury that only she could provide.

Rico turned slowly, as if it required the support of his entire body for his eyes to absorb the Queen’s Tent.

“Shit’s wild,” he said, finally.

“Have a seat,” Thurwar said.

Two HMCs zipped back and forth between her and Staxxx while the other floated above the plush armchair opposite the bed, as if highlighting where he was supposed to move next. Rico took the three steps quickly, then fell into the armchair. Small things like this were important. When Thurwar said sit, people sat. It was a part of being who she was to tell men and women who killed in order to live what to do easily and comfortably. They’d all already broken sacred law, and still her word meant something.

“Thanks,” Thurwar said as she moved to one of the crates Rico had set down.

She pulled a latch and the sides of the box fell away, revealing a plate of eggs Benedict and a side of asparagus, as well as a cup of fresh fruit, all on a tray.

“Damn,” Rico said. He chuckled sadly. He gripped the plastic bag in his hands tighter.

Staxxx walked to the bedside and picked up her own box, the Staxxx Pack.

Today there was a bowl with an over-easy egg on quinoa with assorted vegetables. It steamed when she released it from its plastic cover. As a civilian, Thurwar had never been in a nice hotel. And unlike her time at Angola, where she lived off the commissary when she could because the chow hall food was more mold than anything else, on the Circuit, Thurwar ate well.[*] She ate beautifully. She ate foods that she’d never heard of before she’d been imprisoned, the kinds of things most Links would never even get a sniff of. She looked at her plate of food. Took the fruit bowl for herself, placing the small dish of bright, plastic-wrapped pieces of pineapple, watermelon, and grapes on her bed. Then she lifted the tray with the rest of the food and pulled it from the larger black crate.

“It’s hot, be careful,” Thurwar said as she leaned over and laid the food in Rico’s lap. She removed the plastic covering.

“You like eggs Benny?” Staxxx asked.

Rico looked down at what was before him. The hollandaise sauce gleaming as it draped the poached eggs, then pooled, yellow and creamy, in and around the crevices of an English muffin. A thick slice of Canadian bacon with delicately charred edges just poking out from under the eggs. Asparagus striped with fresh grill marks. And a cold sealed thermos of what Thurwar knew was either apple or guava juice. Three bottles of water also sat in the crate; Thurwar would pour those into her canteen. But now she watched Rico watch the food. It had been almost four years, she knew, since he’d had real food. And here he was, suddenly plunged into what, for him, must have been the finest dining.

His shaking knees rattled the fork on the tray.

“Please, Rico,” Thurwar said softly. “Go for it.” Her voice was calculated in its softness. She wanted him to feel with the deepest part of himself that he was finally safe with her.

Thurwar popped a piece of pineapple into her mouth and glanced at Staxxx. She had done this same thing many times, and Rico was not the first to cry, but it still made her feel something she didn’t like to miss. A pouring that seemed to fall from her chest, through her body, a pride in what she had become. An oasis in hell. An unlikely power that had been forged by force of will. In these moments she understood intimately and precisely what the crowds who cheered her name felt in their hearts. She didn’t perform in the loud, boisterous ways she used to. But she still performed. This was method. She let it feel real. This was her job and she let herself enjoy it.

She watched Rico until he turned back to meet her gaze.

“I’m not—” He took a breath and wiped his eyes. “I haven’t had anything to eat for so long. You know?”

“I know,” Thurwar said. “Can I have that? Can we trade?”

She pointed to the plastic bag that was still in his hands.

“This?”

“Trade me,” Thurwar said. He looked at her as if she were insane and she looked at him in a way that made it clear she wasn’t going to repeat herself.

One hour till March initiates. The Anchor’s voice settled around them.

Rico handed the bag over. The sandwich was on wheat bread and clearly had been slapped together hastily before being thrown into a too-large eco-plastic biodegradable zip bag.

“Eat,” Thurwar said.

“I am,” Staxxx joked, piling quinoa into her mouth.

“Thank you,” Rico said.

“And thank you,” Thurwar said.

“Eat a little, then we’ll talk more,” Staxxx said.

“Go ahead,” Thurwar said. She bit into the sandwich, its grating sweetness, its simple familiarity. Rico finally dove into the food. Thurwar watched with amusement as he slurped a stalk of asparagus down first, which surprised her, then used his hands with the eggs Benedict. She thought of reminding him that there was a plastic knife and fork tucked into the corner of the tray, but it was clear he had decided how he’d enjoy this. He chewed hard and quickly, then slowed down, savoring for a moment, and then continued at speed. To hell with reverie.

Thurwar still had a corner of the sandwich left by the time he’d finished. In a world where murder was everywhere, every meal might be your last. And when you felt that powerfully, something as plain as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich tasted like another kind of death. To her palate, though, it actually wasn’t that bad. She said so.

“When I started on the Circuit, they had just made two meals mandatory,” she said. “Our sandwiches were stale, and they didn’t even have jelly on them.” She finished it, swallowed. Then swallowed again to empty her mouth of the stick. “But that was a long time ago.”

Rico looked at her, his fingers coated with hollandaise. Staxxx got up and pulled a hand towel from a rack near the water basin. She wet it for a moment, then handed the rag to Rico, who cleaned each of his fingers one by one before wiping his face.

“Damn,” he said, slumping back in his seat. “A different life.”

“It’s something, right?” Thurwar said.

“It’s everything.” Rico smiled. It made him younger to smile. He was barely old enough to drink.

They were quiet for a moment. Thurwar let the food settle and then she looked at Staxxx.

“Why did you leave?” Staxxx said.

“I knew I couldn’t live inside. Decided I’d rather die out.”

“Where were you?” Thurwar asked.

“Jersey, one of the regular prisons. Not the experimental shit. General population.”

“Didn’t make any friends?” Staxxx said.

“I had a little group, but then I didn’t. Shit got weird off some dumb shit. Tried to sell me out. Four times people that was supposed to be my brothers tried to stick me. So, I signed the papers.”

“What changed? Why’d they turn?” Thurwar asked. She leaned in.

“Does it matter?” Rico put his tray down so it rested on the nylon beneath them.

“Fair,” Staxxx said.

Rico said nothing.

“What did you think when you were sent to Angola-Hammond Chain?”

“I thought, Somebody loves me.”

“Aww,” Staxxx said, “that’s so sweet.”

Thurwar smiled a genuine smile. “Why did you think that?”

“You know why.”

“I want to hear you explain.”

“Being on y’all’s team is a vibe. Everybody knows.”

“What does everybody know?”

Rico looked at Staxxx, who Thurwar knew would be nodding reassuringly.

“Once the two of y’all connected, I mean, you and Sunset changed the vibe. And of course, thee Hurricane made it even better. Made it like people could get strong together. Helped each other out.”

“Sunset Harkless was killed recently, as you remember,” Thurwar said. “What do you think about that?” She hadn’t planned on this part. But she made it a point not to second-guess herself when she could avoid it. She turned her head just enough to see Staxxx, who had flattened a bit, though she still smiled at Rico.

Rico bit his lip. Thurwar looked hard at him. She could feel him struggling to keep eye contact with her. “I was sad as shit, to be honest—at first, I mean. But Staxxx is valid, so it’s valid. So all good on my end. I just didn’t know if you’d still be on your Blood Mother Angel shit without him.”

“What do you mean by that?” Thurwar pressed.

“You’re like the angel of this shit. Giving everybody a boost and whatnot. You give people a chance. Reaper-maker they called you in my cell block. And like, you was asking people not to try dumb shit with you like that, and your Chain been the least wild for a min. I seen on the cast how people don’t try to murk each other like that here. Excluding last week, respectfully. And stuff like y’all just did last night made it even more official. Mad decent. I’m honored to be down.”

“You mention last night,” Thurwar said. She picked up Hass Omaha, which had been sleeping near Thurwar’s slippered foot the entire time they’d been in the tent. Suddenly, the hammer’s presence filled the space. Rico Muerte sat up a little straighter. “Last night I made it an official stance of this Chain to avoid violence against your fellow Links at all costs. You remember that?” Thurwar watched carefully to see if Rico would look to Staxxx for help. Maybe he’d flat-out admit that his “fight” with Sai had been a ruse.

“Of course.”

“And now I’m sitting here, getting ashy, ’cause the very next morning you threatened another one of my Links. One of my core. How long have you been on the Circuit?”

Rico didn’t run from her stare and she respected him for it.

“One and a half months. I seen the BattleGround three times. Next week I’ll fight again.”

“What’s your rank?” Thurwar asked.

“Peanut—I mean Rookie. But I’ll be a Cusp—”

“You’re saying you’re the lowest rank possible.”

“Yeah, bu—”

“And what rank is Sai Eye Aye?”

“Iono even know, but my point with them was that—”

Thurwar stood up. There were Chains where this would be the last moments of Rico Muerte’s life.

“They’re almost a Reaper,” Thurwar said. “On the Circuit for over a year. A solid Link for over a year, and you, the day after I make it clear that all the bullshit is to stop, the day after I do something for all of us, you tried to pick a fight with them.”

“It was, I mean—” And here he looked to Staxxx. Just past Thurwar’s right side. Thurwar crouched down, ignored her knee’s whine, and took Rico’s chin in her hand. She pulled his face back to her.

Ten months earlier a Link named Refar Nichs had been in the same position Rico was in now. It had been Thurwar and Sunset and Staxxx in the space. Refar had panicked under the pressure and tried to grab LoveGuile as they spoke to him. What he wanted to do with it, the world would never know. Thurwar crushed his skull before his hand had wrapped around the scythe’s shaft. They’d dragged his body out of a tent in the morning light and no one on A-Hamm had said a word about the corpse.

“It was what?” Thurwar asked. She imagined crushing his skull here and now. She wanted him to feel her imagining it. How easy and complete it would be. “It was kind of like you wanted to spit in my face?”

Rico tried to look down at the meal he’d just devoured. The almost-clean plates.

“Eyes on me,” Thurwar said. She felt the patchy stubble on his face.

“They got me hot. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry. And what else?”

“And I—I don’t know. It won’t happen again?”

“Are you asking me?”

“It won’t happen again. It’s my bad, Blood Mama. My fault.”

She released him.

“Thank you, I appreciate it. Now we can talk about what I wanted to talk about.”

Thurwar said nothing but watched recognition dawn on Rico. He tried not to smile but failed, grinning wide.

“What are you so happy about?”

“This,” Rico said, “this moment. I was thinking if I’m gonna really be out here I wanna rock with some big shit, maybe something like Mac man got. Big-ass ax, maybe.”

Staxxx laughed a little; Thurwar did not.

“You know what I want to talk to you about then.”

Rico reeled himself in a bit. “Everybody knows. You held it down for like half the people here.”

“I’m glad you’re so well-informed.”

“I’m not gonna cap, I’m a fan. I’m honored.”

Thurwar thought of all the weapons she’d shepherded into the games. The rules had changed in season 24, allowing Links to spend Blood Points on other Links, and just like that, the games were different forever. Early on, Thurwar had realized that you could leverage your wealth and the promise of power into survival. From the beginning, because of how she’d entered, the mountain she’d toppled, she’d never wanted for a weapon or Blood Points.

“I’ve given and I don’t do it for free. You know what I expect from my generosity.”

“Till High or Low Freed, I got you,” Rico said. He stood up. Put a fist to his chest and took deep breaths through his nose.

“Thank you. I also want you to extend that pledge to Staxxx.” Thurwar had been thinking of doing this for some time. She’d wanted to go over the details with Staxxx ahead of time, but in that moment she decided to make clear what most already assumed.

“I’m two weeks, two fights, from Freed and I intend to take that journey.” Rico nodded. “After that I want you to give the same loyalty you have to me to Staxxx. The position I have here will be hers when I leave. Do you understand?”

“For sure. I’m ready to pledge to whoever.”

“Not whoever. Me, and when I’m Freed, to the woman to my right.”

Thurwar guessed that Staxxx was upset before turning and seeing the hard smile on her face.

“Copy, for sure,” Rico said. “I swear, I pledge, all that.”

“Another thing. From now on you won’t be eating those sandwiches.”

Rico looked at her, confused.

“Now that we’re family, everybody eats. We’ll work out the system, but everybody is going to have a decent meal from now on.”

Thurwar had not done this math. She wasn’t sure how much of this she could ensure once she was out of the Circuit. But she knew it would make him happy. And the math she had done said it was better for Gunny to have only one real friend on the Circuit than two. So it was good to have Rico there, happy to receive the blessings of Loretta Thurwar, the character he’d thought of when he’d signed the papers. She was the flame his wings would melt against.

“I appreciate it and it means a lot to me, but I wanna carry my weight like all y’all have. I just need a badass prime so I can do something out there.”

“Preparation is how you win fights. That includes what you take in.” She felt a power flowing through her. She watched the flying cameras dance around her face.

“I don’t know what to say,” Rico said. “Thank you.”

“Let’s get back to the reason this guy is so excited, yeah?” Staxxx said.

Thurwar turned to her and smiled. They both could do surprising things.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Thurwar said.

“Right, so I was thinking I want something that really rings bells. Some heavy shit.”

“Okay,” Thurwar said. She raised her arm and held Hass Omaha in front of her. “Imagine carrying something like this in the deathmatch.”

“Oh shit,” Rico said.

“Don’t get too excited,” Thurwar added before letting him hold the handle. “This is the last time you’ll hold this hammer. I just want to see what you can handle.”

“Copy,” Rico said.

Thurwar let go of the hammer. Even for this demonstration it felt like a sin.

Almost immediately, in Rico’s hands, the hammer drooped and dropped to the floor. He strained and picked it back up.

“Let’s keep brainstorming this,” Staxxx said. And though he was embarrassed, Rico Muerte let another smile slip.

* Incarcerated people suffer a disproportionate number of foodborne illnesses.

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