My hands were shaking since morning. I had barely eaten my breakfast and forced myself to swallow a glass of orange juice. I almost shrieked when Summer hugged me from behind, her usual morning routine, telling me a terrible dad joke.

“Emma.”

I clutched my skirt and looked at Mia sitting across me. The chair next to me screeched, and I held my breath when Summer sat down.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern lacing her voice.

I shook my head and pushed my plate away. “I am jumpy and sc—nothing.” They didn’t know about the stalker, and I didn’t want them to worry. If I told Mia, James would know, and that idiot in love would arrange for top security to be everywhere, and Mia would be stuck with a bodyguard as well.

“Oh, come on, you were about to say it,” Summer said, her shoulder bumping against mine. “Finish the sentence.”

I looked around to find a certain tall, tattooed, and bossy bodyguard. He was easily noticeable amongst everyone leaning on the wall while raising his brow at me.

I faced my friends and said, “It’s a girls’ night today. We will have a sleepover at my house, and I’ll tell you why I’m so sc—jumpy.”

They weren’t convinced but agreed to meet me at my house.

When I was walking to my next class after the lunch, Cillian stopped me with his hand on my elbow. I followed him when he nodded at the nearby classroom.

“You’re not okay, Emma. Let’s go home.”

I pursed my lips and clenched my books. “I don’t want him to win and think that I’m scared of him.”

He held my shoulders, worry evident on his face. “This person is delusional who wants to kidnap you and keep you with him,” he said, his voice harsh. “He is not fooling around and we both saw what he did to Lincoln.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. A trickle of fear rolled over my spine. “I… I hated him, but I didn’t want him to die,” I whispered, a tear sliding down my eyes and blurring my vision.

“I know, Doll.” Cillian pulled me into his chest and hugged me closer. “I’m afraid that he knows everything about you.”

And I’m afraid that he’d do something to you like he did to Lincoln.

That morning, I had woken up to a strange text and puked bile into the toilet while Cillian held my hair. He had heard my scream, helped me, and read the text with pictures of Lincoln tied up, beaten up and all bloody. With a slit throat.

That wasn’t the worst part. He had pictures of me and Cillian together at the sex club after Cillian had closed the curtains. Thankfully, Cillian’s body was covering my naked bits, but he was present and took those pictures. Along with the day at the mall. With Cillian holding my waist and shopping bags on the other arm.

He was fucking everywhere.

“What do I do?” I pulled away, angry that I was letting myself be scared by that piece of shit who had nothing to do but prey on me. “I want it to end!”

“I know, Emma. You don’t have to do anything. Just focus on your life and studies, I’ll—”

“I can’t focus. I’m scared that he’s here listening to us talk and taking creepy pictures.” My throat burned, and I wanted to snuggle Cillian’s chest because I knew he’d protect me. Keep me safe.

His hands caressed my back and wiped my tears. “I won’t let him hurt you, Doll. If you remain unbothered or even pretend to, we can find out who he is and arrest him. We are ahead of him.”

I clenched my jaw, sniffling as the tears stopped. “Are we? Then why did Lincoln…”

“I don’t know. But that means he doesn’t want you to be harmed by anyone else.”

“But him.”

“He won’t,” he sighed, running a hand through his palm. “We will find him. And until we do, I’m staying with you.”

I gazed at his obsidian eyes and nodded. “Okay.” Cillian would protect me. Keep me safe. “Okay,” I repeated, and hugged the books to myself.

“After school, I want you to meet someone.”

I nodded at him and we left the empty classroom. The bell rang, and I hurried to my next class. I was not strong, but I was learning how to defend myself. Cillian was teaching me all the ways I could defend myself lest anyone attacks me, and I was not a helpless girl anymore. I could run, but I could also hurt someone if I had to protect myself.

Taking a deep breath, I raised my chin and entered the biology class.

“Why are we at your house?” I asked Cillian as he stopped the car. “Do you want to get something?”

“No, I want you to meet my boss.”

“Your boss?” I was surprised, following him through the footpath that I had taken for so many years. I spent most of my time at Caleb’s house since my mom didn’t want any boys in my room. We’d spend time together at his. And yet, I never once met Cillian, just heard of him in little bits and pieces. He was never at home since his wife, Olivia, passed away.

Maybe everyone had their own ways to go through their grief.

“She’s not here yet,” Cillian said.

“She?” I removed my shoes and wore slippers, walking from the hallway to the kitchen. He offered me water, but I didn’t drink it.

“Yes, she. Elena is quicker and faster than me. Can easily take down four of me if we were to ever fight.” He spoke of her with respect and awe. It made me happy and… jealous.

I crossed my arms and smiled at baby Caleb’s picture. His cheeks were big like apples. “Where is he?”

Cillian sighed. “God knows. He has been waking up early and coming back home late. I wonder what he thinks of all of this.”

“What? Us?” I pointed at the space between us.

“He doesn’t know about our relationship, Doll,” he shook his head. “He’ll flip if he did. He knows that someone is stalking you, so that’s why he’s being so attached at school.”

“I figured.” I bit my lip. “I just…” Pausing, I shook my head.

“What is it?”

Peering up at him, I leaned on the kitchen island and said, “I just wish he had told me about his sexuality.”

“Mhmm.” Cillian hummed, crossing his arms, letting me to continue.

I fiddled with my fingers. “I get it he likes everyone, but if he had just talked to me about it, we would have broken up and we’d still be good friends.”

“Right.”

“I mean, was it so hard to tell your friend-slash-girlfriend that you like boys, girls and everyone, despite their gender?!” I raised my hands and sighed. “I don’t mind him kissing boys, but it was a shock to see him kissing Aaron—out of all the guys, on my mom’s funeral. Like come on. It made me feel so terrible.”

When Cillian didn’t offer another monotonous reply, I looked up from my hands to find him shocked. His cheeks were pink and his eyes were wide.

“Why do you look so surprised—wait, he didn’t tell you!?” I cupped my mouth, wincing internally.

“He is gay?” he muttered to himself.

I blinked at him and shook my head. “Caleb is pansexual, Cillian. He likes everyone.”

“Huh.” He scratched his neck and pursed his lips. “He never talked to me about it. Or why you two broke up.”

I swallowed and nodded.

“I’m sorry, Emma,” he whispered, his eyes soft. “He shouldn’t have kissed that boy at your mom’s funeral. He should have talked to you, and I’m sorry I couldn’t teach him better.”

“Please, he is nineteen.” I rolled my eyes. “You need to stop apologizing for his actions. Yes, what he did was extremely shitty, but it hurt more that he didn’t tell me about his feelings. Anyway, I got to sleep with you because of that.”

Cillian raised his brows and tilted his head, “I was your rebound because my son cheated on you with a guy?”

“Of course you were. My ex’s hot dad was my rebound.” I winked at him.

He let out a soft laugh that made me feel giddy. “That’s good to know, Doll.”

I bit my lip from laughing and looked around the house. “Do you mind if I go upstairs?”

“We don’t have anything upstairs but rooms…”

“You have pictures,” I said and climbed the stairs. If I had never seen his house before, I would guess it belonged to Cillian in a second because his taste was very minimalistic yet immaculate. And even then, his home felt cozy with warm, soft lights and lots of picture frames on the walls of the hallway.

“Holy shit!” I neared one photo frame and ogled the man in a dark leather jacket, fitted pants and shoulder length black hair with lots of tattoos and—fuck me, a lip piercing. “Was that you?”

“I forgot it was here,” he said casually, examining the picture of his young self. “I was a rebel when I was young.”

“You look so hot,” I breathed and stared at his lips. “You don’t have that scar here. Was it because of the lip piercing?”

“Not from the piercing. No.” He chuckled and shook his head, “I’ll tell you someday, Doll.”

“Will you wear a leather jacket for me?” I asked, batting my lashes.

He flicked my forehead without giving me an answer.

Party-pooperI looked at the other picture and paused.

“She is beautiful,” I muttered, seeing Olivia’s face holding baby Caleb in her arms. She was American, with dark brown hair and darker eyes. Her cheeks were rosy pink, and a diamond glinted on her left hand.

“She was,” Cillian agreed, his voice soft. I glanced at him and he was watching her with a sad smile. “She loved Caleb more than me. She would have known what to do and talk to him while I can barely hold a minute of conversation with him.”

“Why did you avoid him after she…” I shook my head. “Caleb used to vent about you. I’m sorry. I’m being nosy.”

“No. It’s okay.” He took a deep breath and faced me. “I couldn’t see his face without remembering her. And how I failed as a husband and a father.”

I listened to him, his eyes drifting past my shoulder as he continued. “Olivia had terrible postpartum depression. I did everything I could to help her. Therapists. Medicines. Staying with her for hours while taking care of Caleb. He was a very naughty kid. Then one day…”

He took a deep breath and swallowed. “It was her birthday. I had to leave early in the morning because of a job and wrote a note that I’d be back in an hour. One hour turned into two, then three. I called Sean, my friend, and told him to keep an eye on Caleb since I had promised to bring a huge cake.”

His eyes were gleaming. “I bought the cake, went home. I couldn’t find her. She was still in bed. I remembered sighing in relief and went to surprise her with flowers and cake.” His jaw clenched, and he looked up at the ceiling. “She had taken sleeping pills the night before without my notice and she was… but I didn’t notice because I had to rush to work.”

My eyes burned, and I reached out to hold his forearm. “I didn’t know…”

“I called emergency. Gave her CPR, but it didn’t work. She went to bed that night, kissed me on my cheek and never woke up.” I wiped my tears when he looked at me. “Caleb hates me because I didn’t care to look after him as a parent, as his father, when she passed away. My mom and Sean looked after him while I was away for work, making excuses that I needed to earn more so I could put him in a good school. And now… it’s too late.”

“It’s not,” I disagreed, shaking my head. “It’s not too late. You are just scared. But he is your son, and he misses you. I know he does because…” I took a deep breath and met his eyes, “I hated my mom. I still do. She was a bully and a terrible mother with no maternal instinct. But… if I got a chance to talk to her about why she hated me so much and still left me with everything, I would take it in a heartbeat. So, talk to Caleb. He is stubborn, but he doesn’t hate you. He is just confused.”

Tears slid down his face and I tipped on my toes to wipe them away. “Emma—”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” I pulled him into a hug and sighed when he squeezed me.

I snuggled deeper into his arms with one thought ringing in my head. This was going to hurt a lot when it ends.

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