Big Bad Wolfie
Chapter 56: 55 - Midnight

Silence hung in the air...

"... You can't just say something like that and not follow up."

I gave a dry laugh. "Well, what is there to say?"

"... Well... What was the dream about?" He spoke quietly, trying not to wake anyone else.

I looked at him blankly, "Guess."

He sighed and tried to pull me further into his chest, but I stopped him.

It was my turn to sigh, "You can't just do that. I'm using you as a human heater and that's all. Period."

"What if I wanna be more than just a human heater?" He whispered.

"What if I don't wanna be in the middle of the woods being chased by hybrids with a mate that took over my house?"

Silence.

"Yeah, we don't always get what we want."

He sighed. "Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Why do you have to be an @sshole?"

"Oh my goddess, fine then, what was the nightmare about before?" He grumbled.

I hesitated.

Do I really want to get into this with him?

It didn't work out so well the last time.

"Please?" He whispered.

Ughhh.

"It's good to talk about "

"Don't give me that get it off you chest bull crap, I've heard it all before and it doesn't help."

He clamped his mouth shut and a pitiful pout fell on his face.

I glared into the sky at the fact my heart hurt at the sight of it and a small voice in the back of my head told me to be less snippy and that he's just trying to help. I glared harder and turned to him.

"C'mon Maria, please," he got a vulnerable look and looked me in the eyes. Maybe even past my eyes and into my soul. "Let me in."

My glare slowly melted and I sighed.

D@mn the mate bond.

"Well... It's kind of hard to explain. . . My nightmares don't really make much sense," I looked down, suddenly feeling shy.

I feel like I'm about to bear my heart out to him.

Again.

I stopped.

... Maybe I shouldn't-

"Maria," he covered my hand with his massive one, "I'm listening."

I looked up at him.

Behind his eyes I felt like there was a message.

Don't be afraid.

I kept looking into them.

Don't be afraid to be vulnerable.

They looked too caring not to spill my guts out for.

And it's not often I get this kind of offer, for people to just listen to me.

I started off softly, "This dream always starts the same way." I took a deep breath. "My cousin, Sophie, and I were playing hide and seek, just like we were on the real day," I proceeded to tell him about the rest of the dream.

About how she disappeared and how Aunt Brie ended up with her head.

"Oh my goddess," Wolfie mumbled.

"Of course that's not how it went in real life," I tried to comfort. "... Although, it's not too far off," I trailed off, holding back the tears trying to invade my vision.

He squeezed my hand tighter, "Go on," he whispered. "Please."

I took another calming breath and continued. "On the real day, my aunt came outside to look for her daughter. When my cousin's scent was long gone she ran to get my parents and uncle while telling me to stay inside. They and a few others they called scoured the main square for her. That's the only place she could reach on foot in such a short amount of time, especially with the half mile of Forrest between the main square and the rest of the house for hunting purposes."

And now I'm rambling because I'm trying not to cry.

"Moral of the story they didn't find her."

A single tear dripped down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry" he started.

"And then a week later her head was found in a box at the border."

Silence.

"They figured out it was the hybrids everyone had been talking about... and at first everyone was wondering why they'd go through the trouble of kidnapping her just to kill her a week later. . ." I swallowed. "Then they came to the consensus it was me they were trying to kidnap. . . And when they figured out they got the wrong girl, they killed her and used her as a message."

His hold on my hand tightened even more.

The tears are falling now. I don't know when they started, but there's no stopping them now.

"I'm so sorry, Maria." He rubbed soothing circles on my hand. "I'm so sorry that happened."

I sniffled. "And it was all my fault," I broke a little further.

This is why Aunt Brie hates me. This is why my uncle doesn't have a back bone.

I ruined them.

I took away their daughter.

"Hey, that is not true. It wasn't your fault," he asserted.

"Yes it was," I hate myself for crying harder. I hesitated for a split second, but once I saw his sad but determined face, I dove into his chest, forgetting he has a whole in his neck he probably doesn't want jostled. "It was all my fault."

"Don't say things like that! They're not true," he hugged me tightly.

I sniffled, "l-if, if I hadn't been hiding they would have gotten who they wanted. She never would have died! Or even if I was paying attention or hadn't waited so long to go get help! She could have lived," I sobbed harder.

"Shh, no. It's not your fault someone put a target on your back."

"But. . . But, but "I cried trying to get him to see my side.

To see why it's all my fault.

"No buts. It's not your fault and that's the truth," he said with finality.

I let out an ugly sob.

"Well, I'm awake now. Thanks Mari."

"Shut the f**k up, Cali," he snapped at her.

It made me snuggle into him deeper. I feel like a little kid again, allowing myself to be vulnerable about this.

"I'm sorry," I sniffled.

"Don't apologize Maria, if her cousin died like that she'd probably never stop b**ching about it," I heard Happy's sleepy voice.

Great, I wasn't just spilling my guts to Wolfie, I was spilling my guts to everyone. Perfect.

"You don't even know me," Cali's salty voice came back.

"Yeah, I know. And at first I thought you'd be cool, but then I actually met you."

"And yikes."

I pushed my face farther into his shirt to hold back a snort at Happy's comment.

Not funny Maria, all she's done is not want to put up with your bull crap.

"Hey, I haven't done anything but refuse to put up with Maria's bull s**t," Cali argued.

See.

"Well, would it kill you to be just a little bit more sensitive?" Happy asked.

"And it's not bull s**t," Wolfie snapped.

I could practically feel her rolling her eyes. "Oh please. Sensitive over what? We all lost things in the Blood War against the hybrids, it wasn't just her."

"Well you know what -"

"No," I cut Wolfie off. I pulled away from his chest and wiped my eyes. "She's right. I need to suck it up and -"

"No actually, she's not right." Wolfie returned the favor and turned to an annoyed Cali. "I asked her to tell me about this, her suspicions about hybrids following us were right, and it's not her fault she's starved o blood. None of what she's done on this trip was bull s**t. All it's been is hell for her." He defended me.

I wrapped my arms around him and peaked up at his face. "Thank you."

"No problem," he smiled down at me.

"But I did tell you not to come, so if —"

"Don't ruin it," I closed my eyes with a matching smile and basked in the hug that we'll forget happened in the morning.

Comfortable silence hung in the air.

"Great, Jason's not an @ss, Cali is, and Maria's not full of s**t, now that we've gotten that out of the way can we please go to sleep?" Stephan groaned while lying down from his watch position.

"And someone wake up Rose or Brandon, it's one of their turns," he waved in their direction.

I looked at them in thought.

Haha, if they had woken up during that little encounter they wouldn't have dropped it until Cali was crying and curled up in a little ball as pay back for making me feel bad.

Happy did as he asked and woke them.

I love my friends.

"Huh? What?" Brandon groaned.

"You're up for watch," Happy told him.

"Five more minutes mom," he smacked his lips in his half sleep state.

"I can just take the next one," I offered.

If he's still tired then I'll just-

"No," A sleepy Rose shot up and cut off my train of thought, "you've gotten like three hours of sleep all month."

"Yeah you need to sleep, Maria. Let me just complain for a couple more minutes." Brandon agreed.

I rolled my eyes. "No really —"

"No, shut up, no arguing. Alpha Dog Boy, make her sleep," Rose commanded.

"I have a name," Wolfie grumbled while wrapping his massive arm back around my small waist and pulling back to our laying down position.

And we were all left to fall asleep to the sound of my two best friends bickering with each other about which one of them will take watch, because of course both are too stubborn to allow the other to do it.0000000

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