Knock, knock, knock!

“Hmm, what do you think it’ll be this time?” I ask Rory as I hop off the couch next to where she snuggles a sleeping Summer. Every day this week, there has been a gift delivered here from Dex who is playing a string of six away-games. First it was a mega bouquet of roses along with an oversized soft blanket and my favorite tea along with a musical snow globe for Summer’s room. Then it was a larger than I would ever need smart television with a full cable package complete with any possible sports channel I might need to watch the Red Tails play. Then he sent a complete home spa basket with warming slippers, a soft robe, and all the smelly-good bath and shower things I could ever want and a rubber duckie blow-up bathtub filled with baby gifts for Summer.

“After the last delivery of every hockey romance book he could find on Amazon, I’m not sure what he could possibly come up with.” Rory chuckles softly. She’s been so great about staying with me or checking in on me and Summer while Dex is away. Having my mom here for the first week was great too, but even then, I was ready for her to go back home and let me get my feet wet doing this whole parenting thing on my own.

“And don’t forget the small library of baby books he sent for Summer too,” I giggle. “How many daddy/daughter books are even out there in the world?”

“Oh God,” Rory says. “Don’t ask him that. He’ll consider it a challenge to find every single one!”

I answer the door to find the same delivery woman who has been showing up here every day this week smiling at me. Charlee was here with me the other day and let her in on why all these gifts have been delivered and now she’s my number one fan.

She shakes her head. “Miss Lowe, I’m beginning to think someone really has a crush on you and I’m a little invested now in how this is all going to work out. Do you have a social media platform I should follow to keep myself updated?”

Laughing, I too, shake my head. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t really do social media, but if I had to guess, at the rate these packages keep showing up, you’ll be here for the next couple days at least.”

“I look forward to it!” she says. “Here’s today’s box. But this one is addressed to Summer Grace Foster.”

“Thank you so much.” I take the box from her, shaking my head in disbelief. “Oh, my gosh, I can’t wait to see what he did.”

“You’re very welcome. Have a great day, Ms. Lowe.”

“Thank you. You too!”

I shut the door and carry the box over to the coffee table in front of Rory.

“Awww, he sent something just for her?”

“Looks like it.”

“Just when I wondered if my brother had it in him to be cute and sincere, he goes and does shit like this.”

I bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling too hard because I would be lying if I said I wasn’t loving the fact that he’s remembering us in some way while he can’t be here. It’s wonderful to get a few texts from him every night and usually a call throughout the day if he isn’t too busy but knowing he’s going the extra mile to make me smile every day…yeah. That isn’t a bad thing.

With the help of a pair of scissors nearby, I open the large box and pull out yet another basket filled with diapers, wipes, and a bunch of hockey themed onesies in a multitude of colors.

“Oh, my God! Look at these!” I pull out the onesies and open one that reads,

Hockey Baby! Yep. I arrived with missing teeth.

Another one says, Daddy’s little hockey princess, and there’s even one that says, Proof Daddy can score.

“How adorable!” I squeal. “I can’t wait to put one of these on her and send him a pic tonight. He’ll lose his shit.”

“He totally will.” Rory laughs. “God, this little princess has her daddy wrapped around her finger.”

“That she does.”

“Like mother like daughter, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

Rory cocks her head. “What I mean is I’m pretty damn sure you have my brother wrapped around your finger as well.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I would say that.”

She huffs out a laugh. “Well then you’re totally blind.”

My smile falters and I sink into my oversized chair staring blankly at my friend.

“Tatum, in all the years I’ve known my brother, he’s always been the player. The guy who walks into a bar after a game, picks up a woman, and leaves just like that.”

The thought makes my stomach turn.

“But then you happened and I don’t know that he’s been with another woman since. You are all he talked about all summer. His mystery girl: the one who blew his mind. The one who caused him to take up knitting because his mind was so distracted, he needed something to focus on.” She laughs. “And then you’re pregnant with his kid and his world is flipped upside down yet he doesn’t run. Tate, I’ve never seen him like this. Ever. He has feelings for you. You have to see that. It’s killing him that he’s not here with you. With Summer.” She gestures to the gifts sitting around my living room. “He’s never done anything even remotely close to this. For anyone. Not even me.”

I fiddle with my pajama pants, rubbing the material between my thumb and forefinger, an anxious habit. “Can I ask you something, Rory?”

“Of course.”

“Would you think I was crazy if I told you I might love him?”

A sincere smile spreads across her face. “Only because he’s my brother and I used to put up with him farting in my face and laughing about it.”

We both have a laugh over Dex’s early years. “But no. I don’t think you’re crazy at all.”

“I wish I could explain what the night was like. That night in Key West. It meant more to me than just, you know, sex.”

“If things wouldn’t have happened the way they did, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now. In fact, what’s his address? I think I need to send him a thank you note.”

“For what?”

“For giving me the opportunity to show the woman who once loved him what an epic mistake he made. For giving me the opportunity to show the woman he once loved what a night of passionate sex is supposed to feel like. How much her beautiful body deserves to be pleasured. What it feels like to orgasm so much and so hard that she forgets her damn name.”

“It’s like he freed me that night. From my self-doubt, my guilt, my loneliness. He showed me what it’s supposed to feel like when you’re with someone who truly wants to be there.” I shake my head, my eyes beginning to water. “I knew that night that Michael never truly wanted to be with me. Nothing we did was anything like that night with Dex.”

Rory’s eyes fixate on mine. “You mean to tell me my brother is more than just a hornball?”

That makes me laugh. “Yeah.” I nod. “He’s much more than that. Rory, he delivered our kid all by himself. He helped me through it and he didn’t run. Fuck, if he hadn’t shown up when he did…”

Rory shakes her head, bewildered. “I’ve seen my brother do some amazing things over the years, but hell if I can picture him delivering a baby. His baby no less.”

“Well, I would be lying if I said it was all glitter and rainbows. I’m sure I said things that night that I’ll never remember, but I do recall him mumbling something about grip gloves and hoping she wasn’t too slippery.” I laugh. “God, at least I can laugh about it now.”

“He really wanted to be here that first night you were home.”

My shoulders fall. “What? Why didn’t he say anything? He could’ve stayed.”

She shrugs. “I think he didn’t know what to do because you guys hadn’t talked about it. He didn’t want to encroach on your space with your mom here.”

“Fuck.” The tears welling in my eyes finally spill over. “I had a feeling he wanted to stay and I didn’t ask him to. I wanted him to stay, Ror. Having him with me in the hospital for those couple days was…it was everything. I didn’t have to lift a finger. He was so damn sweet and all I wanted to do was ask him to crawl in bed with me, but you know, he’s Dex and hospital beds are only so big.”

“Oh, God. The visual. I can’t!” She laughs.

“But I started to have real feelings for him. Strong feelings. And then when he was here the other morning, I heard him talking to Summer through the baby monitor about me.”

“I think I really like your mom, Summer Grace.”

“And I fell for him even more.”

“And you haven’t told him any of this?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t want to put myself out there only to be told he doesn’t have time for me. For us. I mean I would understand, of course, but it would hurt nonetheless.”

“Oh Tate.” Rory leans forward and grabs my hand. Summer stirs slightly in her arms but remains asleep. “I promise you; he’ll never tell you he doesn’t have time for you. Is his schedule busy during the season? Yes. But you have me. And Nina and Shelly at work, and you have Charlee, and Carissa when she can be here. You’ll never be alone.” She squeezes my hand. “Tate, I think Dex really wants this. I’ve seriously never seen him like this…like the way he is now, with Summer. With you. I think you should really talk to him.”

I swallow my nerves and dry my eyes. “If you think I should, I’ll do it.”

“Eeeeeek!” she squeals softly. “Yes! I think you totally should. And then I can be all Dex and Tatum sittin’ in a tree,” she sings.

F-u-c-k-i-n-g…

God, waiting six to eight weeks post-partum might just kill me.

___

Me: *pic of Summer wearing onesie that says, My favorite hockey player is Daddy.*

Dex: Damn straight, Tater Tot! How are my girls?

Me: Ready to watch you and the guys crush it tonight! Go Red Tails!

Dex: We’re feeling good! Should be a fun night.

Me: Score one for me and Summer.

Dex: I’ll do my very best! You guys need anything?

Me: You mean besides the new TV, the bath items, the books and the snacks? *wink emoji*

Dex: I don’t like not being there.

Me: I know you don’t. But you have a job to do. Don’t worry about us.

Dex: I’ll never not worry about you, Tate.

Me: Does it make you feel better to tell you Charlee and Rory are keeping me company and taking great care of us?

Dex: Mildly better, yes.

Me: Go bring home another win.

___

 

Me: Update: Summer completely blew out of that cute onesie. Baby poop: 1 – Onesie: 0

Dex: Make that two blowouts then. Fuck, that was a rough game.

Me: You’ll get ’em next time. Is Hawken okay?

Dex: Yeah. Banged his shoulder against the glass pretty hard but doc says there’s no major damage. He’s out for tomorrow’s game.

Me: That sucks. I hope he makes a quick recovery.

Dex: So, tell me something about Summer. Did she hit any milestones today?

Me: Yeah, at two weeks old, she said (in her best British accent) “Mummy, can we have some tea and biscuits while we watch Daddy’s game?” And then she rolled over several times and sat up all on her own.

Dex: LOL! I always knew she was gifted. God, I miss you guys.

Me: It’s only game two. You have four more to go. Don’t miss us so much that you can’t focus.

Dex: No promises. I never imagined this would be so hard.

Me: That’s what she said.

Dex: Ooooh! LMAO! You got me! *laugh emoji*

Me: *wink emoji*

Dex: You should get some sleep.

Me: She’ll be waking up within the next hour to be fed. No rest for these breasts.

Dex: *wags eyebrows* hubba hubba ding ding!

Me: *eye roll emoji* Trust me, you don’t want these milk bags.

Dex: Tatum, I would take you any way I could get you.

Me: You can say that now. You’re hundreds of miles away.

Dex: Then I’ll be sure to say it when I’m standing right next to you.

___

 

Me: *Video of Summer awake in her crib*

Dex: There’s my tater tot! Fuck, I miss her so much.

Me: Thought you would like to see her awake for once.

Dex: Thank you for this. I’ll watch it over and over until I fall asleep. Oh, and Hawken says hello.

Me: Hi to Hawken! How’s he feeling?

Dex: Much better. Three more games and we’re all feeling great. Hey, did you get my package today?

Me: I did, yes. It’s lying right next to her everywhere she goes.

Dex: Good. I didn’t want her to forget me.

Me: I’m not sure how that could possibly happen. You’re pretty unforgettable.

Dex: You think so?

Me: Mhmm.

Dex: I could say the same to you.

Me: What makes me unforgettable?

Me: Hello?

Me: …You still there?

Me: You must be lying. You seem to have forgotten about me already. *smirk emoji*

Dex: haha sorry. I was lost in thought. Honest answer?

Me: Uh, Yes. Absolutely.

Dex: You did that finger thing, Tate. In Key West. You made me come so hard I saw stars. No one has ever made me come like that in my life and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Me: I’ll have to remember that. For next time.

Dex: Are you saying there’s going to BE a next time? *wide eyes emoji* *tongue emoji*

Me: G’night Dex.

Dex: Really gonna leave me hanging with that one, huh?

Dex: Sending me into tomorrow’s game with blue balls.

Dex: *sigh* Night Tatum *kiss emoji*

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