Back and Stronger: Alpha's Daughter
Chapter 33

Sophia stood in the kitchen sipping a cup of hot chamomile tea. The strong aroma made her nose twitch. The sweet taste on her tongue brought with it a well needed jolt of caffeine. She wore soft red lounge pants and a black t-shirt, her feet bare, it was almost time to retire for the night. The beams of the moon shone bright, their rays sending its beauty through the window, so she stood inside its essence. An owl hooted, it’s beady eyes in the tree next door.

She was up later than Neil and Scott, which was unusual. But sleep had been hard for her to come by the last couple of nights. The calendar hung on the refrigerator and Sophia stared at it. The 18th had a small circle at the bottom of the dated square to indicate the full moon. She vividly recalled last month. The pain of the shift. She remembered feeling so sick she had prayed to die. The burning hunger and primal instincts that grew by the second had rendered her unable to control anything. The fear had been overwhelming but feeling sick had surpassed it until she had been unable to so much as lift her finger off the mattress, drenched in her own sweat. She remembered how it felt, her bones shifting, her muscles and tendons tearing and then the added pain of them knitting together in a new form inside her skin.

She broke out into a sweat and her hand trembled. Lost in thought she failed to hear the flush of the toilet, or footsteps padding into the kitchen.

“Sophia.” Neil said.

She jumped and sloshed hot tea in her hand. She dropped the mug onto the tile floor, and it shattered on the floor. Neil jumped into action, turning the water on in the sink then lifting Sophia up and over the shards. He moved her hand under the faucet so the cool water could alleviate the pain. While her hand was under the sink, he rummaged in the cabinet for burn cream. Scott padded to the doorway and took in the broken cup. Silently he opened the closet and got out the broom and dustpan. When he was sure there were no pieces left, he grabbed a rag to clean the coffee off the floor. He said nothing, but his eyes watched Neil, panicked, and took care of Sophia. The corner of his mouth quivered into a half smile. While Scott was watching Neil, Sophia was watching Scott watch Neil.

When he found the burn cream, Neil turned the water off and used a soft towel to dry Sophia’s hand. He layered the cream on, then wrapped her hand.

“There. You’ll be fine in under an hour or two. It’s a small burn.”

“Well, it’s nice to know we don’t have to rush to the hospital and get her hand amputated, since Dr. Neil took care of it all.” Scott said sarcastically, while biting back a laugh. “What happened?”

“I scared her.”

Neil’s tone snapped Sophia into the moment.

“You startled me. You didn’t scare me. There’s a difference.”

Neil cupped her chin in his strong hand and looked at her closely. “Where were you?”

Sophia sighed and moved her chin out of his hands. She pulled down three mugs and put the herb infused teabags in then poured hot water over them. She brought the mugs to the table, and they all sat down, waiting for her to answer.

“Last month was my first shift. It...it was a bad experience for me.” Her gaze flicked to the calendar on the refrigerator. “It’s coming.”

“Did your guide, your mentor, not prepare you?” Scott asked.

“I didn’t have one.”

“So, you shifted alone?”

Neil’s finger drummed on the table.

“Yes.”

He had gotten better at holding his temper in. Such a rarity that Neil lost control. A cool exterior and laser focus was what he was known for. That and having an incredible mind, quick reactions, and no fear. Scott was proud of him and told him that over the last couple of days. They weren’t used to having someone around who could hear them talk, but Sophia never injected herself in it or let them know she heard anything unless it was directed to her.

“It’s not that bad the second time. Each time will be a little less than the one before it was until it’s something that just--” Scott shrugged. “Until it just is.”

“You can control it. You can learn to hold it back until it’s ready to happen fast, or you can slow it so that it’s less overwhelming. Everyone is different. Scott takes his time. Like an old man.”

“It’s true. And Neil likes to hold it at bay until he turns all at once.”

“But why? Why do you do either?” She reached over and stilled Neil’s finger. He tensed under her touch but didn’t pull away.

“I hold it back until it can go fast so that there’s just one burst of pain, then it’s gone.” Neil said.

“And I like to go slow because it diffuses the pain completely and it’s just a... series of annoyances. Easy to ignore for snippets of the time.”

“And you can control this how?”

“You learn,” Scott said.

“Is there any way I can skip this month?”

Scott didn’t mean to laugh at the question. She instantly saw his shame at laughing at her, so she decided to let it pass.”

Neil turned his hand over under Sophia’s fingertips and gripped them gently.

“No, you can’t skip it. But you can learn to control it, just as we did, and you’ll choose what works for you.”

“And if I can’t?”

“You can.” Scott said.

“It’s so easy for you guys, for so many others, why the fuck is it so hard for me?′

Neil bit back a laugh then hid it behind a cough. He always laughed when Sophia swore, finding it a great source of amusement for some reason.

“It’s hard because no one taught you. But you’ll be okay this month. And we will be near,” Scott said.

Sophia got up and went to a cupboard. She brought out a bag of chocolate covered mini pretzels and marveled at the freedom to get whatever she wanted out of the cupboard or refrigerator, whenever she wanted to, without fear. She rejoiced in being able to do laundry whenever she needed to, which wasn’t nearly as often as she thought it would be because Scott bought her a lot. More than she needed. But she was filling out some. Regular food, restful sleep, and not getting beatings was making a huge difference in her. She often stood in front of the mirror in shock. She nearly felt pretty, with her sallow complexion gone. No bruises in various phases marring her skin. More than bone and skin, now.

She sat back down and pulled a pretzel out of the bag. She put half in her mouth and pursed her lips around it. Deep in thought, she sucked the chocolate off and Neil’s nostrils flared, his eyes never leaving her lips. She noticed him do that a couple of times and reveled in the knowledge that she was affecting him.

“Tell me about your first shifts.”

Scott launched into tales of his first shift, where he had been petrified because he was one of the first to shift his age. It hadn’t been discussed in depth and his mentor had only just begun to work with him. He told Sophia he had run to his parents, crying. He had thought he was dying. Sophia smiled at the image of a young Scott running to his parents. Parents who he knew loved him and would keep him safe. She wondered what happened to them, but also knew that she would never ask.

Neil told her about his first shift, out in the woods with his mentor. And he told her of his second shift, with his mentor still with him and how they had run free in the woods. He told her about how he had been forbidden to follow his feral instincts though, and for Neil that was the hard part. Regardless of what form he was in, his instincts guided him.

“We’re only a few years older than you, Sophia. You’ll get this down in no time. I promise.”

“Okay.”

Scott got up from the table to retire to his room and Neil went to the couch in the living room. Sophia took the mugs to the sink and headed for Neil’s room. When she reached the threshold to the door, Neil’s arm snaked around her to stop her passage. She turned, not realizing that she was essentially stepping into a one-armed embrace. Neil idly played with some strands of hair and his eyes stared straight at her lips. She couldn’t stop it; she sucked the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. Neil dropped her hair and took a step away, but still close enough that only she would hear.

“I don’t want you to be afraid, Sophia. I know a place. A safe place that I can take you. I’ll help you. We can shift together.”

“You shift fast,” she said.

“I can control it; I’ll shift with you” He leaned his hand next to the door frame. I promise you won’t have anything to be afraid of and I’ll stay by your side for the whole thing.”

Hell, Sophia thought. It didn’t matter what they were doing. If he was going to stay by her side all night, she was in.

“Okay.” She ducked under his arm and went into the room. She gently shut the door, then let out a little tiny squeal. She wondered if she’d dream of shifting that night, or if she’d dream of Neil.

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