Aries
Chapter 15

Silently, I followed him. He moved through the trees and bushes and walked a path that was not there. He might not be well versed in plants, but the flora bowed to him as he moved past them. Not wanting to give up on that way, I pursued his footsteps.

While it was not a long hike, it was neither short. Amidst the chirping birds and the scudding clouds, there was no need for words. It was like he knew I would follow him and I knew that he would not lead me astray. While to someone this walk might seem pointless, it made me realise how must trust I had in him.

When had it even begun? Was it when he saved me from the heat? Or was it when he visited me again, masking himself in front of Alioth and Miguel? Or was it one of the days here? Wherever it had begun, I decided it was best not to question it.

The sudden frown of the sunlight made me look up. The afternoon sun was tired but it still pulled itself to do the job. The canopy of the forest was not there to protect us, but the shade from the mountain was there to shield us. Had we walked that far?

“Do you know why I brought you here?” He closed his eyes and raised his face toward the sky.

There was something about the sunlight hitting his face in that angle. I wanted my phone, but I had left it in the house. As much as I was not a fan of taking pictures, I believed that some moments were worth capturing in time. Had I been an artist, this would be a picture I would gladly paint but would take weeks to get the perfect shade of his skin, his hair and his eyes on the palate. I could just take the easy route and take a picture but I should be having a camera or a mobile phone at that.

“Lyra?” he called me.

Blushing furiously, I shook my head. “I don’t. I don’t know why you brought me here.”

“It’s about what you told,” he said, undoing one button.

At that, I averted my gaze. The hidden songbirds were worth finding. And his scent was definitely not helping me.

“About what?” I asked.

“When you were in the dungeon, I asked for the name,” he said. “You refused. At that time I thought you were feeling generous. But I never knew that you wanted to be one to kill that male.”

I shook my head. “When he threw me in the dungeons, I did not want to do anything with him. It was after he killed my father and Aurelia that I wanted his blood.”

He narrowed his eyes and folded his arms, his one finger playing with his lower lip. If I did not know any better, I would think of something else. The sight before me was too much for my heart to handle.

“What is it?” I asked, hoping that it did not reveal the lust that was roaring in me.

He took in a deep breath. “Show me your bloodlust.”

I swallowed. “What do you mean by ‘show me your bloodlust’?”

“Show me your anger,” he said. “Show me that.”

“How?” I asked.

“Imagine that I am Ethan,” he said. “What would you do to me?”

My eyes widened in horror and took a step back. “I… I can’t compare you both!”

He sighed. “If I can’t find your anger, what fuels you, I can’t show you the right way.”

“What way?” I asked. “Is there a right way to show the anger?”

“There are many ways to express your anger,” he said and sat down. “There is a healthy way and a toxic way. You have to decide.”

“But how do I know what is right?” I sat opposite to him.

“What is your first emotion when I mention Ethan?”

“Rage,” I said with calmness, I did not know I possessed. “Burning fury. If I can, I would melt iron on him and drain the blood slowly. I want him to suffer. He killed my father and my best friend. As much as it was Cain’s fault, he turned my brother against me. How could a male who grew me up like his kid disown me the second Ethan rejected me? How could he stay silent when Ethan killed our father? How could he stay in the sidelines when Aurelia was killed? What had gone wrong?”

“Your hurt is hindering your rage,” he said after a minute. “When I asked you to attack me back there, you did not do your best. This is why.”

“Is it wrong to hurt?” I asked.

“Anger usually stems from two emotions,” he said. “Hurt and disappointment. Heal what’s hurting you, Lyra. Only then, we can fuel the anger you need in the right direction.”

“If my hurt is gone,” I said. “What fuels my anger?”

“I am talking about the guilt, the hurt you harbour against yourself,” he said. “You think their deaths are your faults. It is not. They sacrificed for you so that you have a chance, Lyra. It was their choice to fight for you, don’t take that away from them.”

It was then I touched to find a tear tumbling from my eye. How lonely was that tear?

“As much one should feel emotions,” he said. “One should think about it too. Only then, we can grow.”

“How?” I asked, my voice cracking. “How do you heal?”

“This is not a physical wound where I can give a formula for a medicine,” he said, giving me a soft smile. “This is a wound of the mind. The medicine and the dose change for each person and for each person each time. It starts with acceptance. Of the deaths of your father and friend. Of the betrayal of your brother. Mind you, it may take days to get there, Lyra. But once you try to make an effort, you will be getting there. How is it that you could respect Cathara’s choice, but not the choice of your father and friend?”

My tears held themselves when my brain began to process this. How could I?

Seeing my alarmed reaction, he smiled. “That’s right. Both their situations are not far from different.”

I bit my lips. “How to accept the past?”

“You can’t force yourself to do that,” Aries said. “It is a slow process. There are some parts you might hate yourself for it and some parts where you admire yourself. All is well. If you hate a part of you, accept the hatred too. Accept everything that makes you who you are now.”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s the spirit,” he said. “You are now one step ahead of the past yourself.”

“Thank you,” I said, looking in that silver eyes that bore into mine. “Thank you for listening and helping.”

“Don’t thank me,” he said. “You just needed an expert’s advice and you are too poor to pay a psychiatrist.”

I burst into laughter. After seeing him train me for all those hours, I could not imagine him being a psychiatrist. But what made him sit here and help me out?

“You?” I managed to say. “A psychiatrist?”

“Potential job,” he shrugged, but there was a smile in his eyes.

“Please,” I said. “People are afraid of you. To be a therapist, you have to make people comfortable to spill their guts to you. You intimidate them.”

He supported his cheeks on the heel of his left hand. “Is that so?”

I nodded, putting on a serious face.

“Either…” he drawled. “I must not scare you or you are comfortable with me. What is true in this?”

There was a hidden glint in his eyes that made me lick my lips. His eyes followed the movement of my tongue and then leisurely returned to my eyes. The corner of his lips raised in a tiny smirk and he rose an eyebrow up.

His eyes pressed me for an answer. How could I answer him? What could I answer him? If I said that he did not scare me, would he turn more terrifying? Or if I said that I was comfortable with him, would he take advantage? I snorted mentally at the last thought. If it ever came down to that, I would end up being the one to take advantage of him.

I took in a deep breath. “Both.”

There was no smirk or pride, but a satisfactory smile. Like he achieved something no one had. He was happy at something and what was that? Did I want to know that?

“Good,” he said. “Very good.”

“Why so?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“Soon,” he said, then that gentle smile vanished a playful smirk adorned his face. “Being your customised therapist, I require a higher charge.”

I fake gasped. “And what may that be?”

“Are you ready to pay it?” he asked, looking curiously at me.

I propped my chin on my hand. “Tell me. If the price is worth it, I might arrange for another session.”

“What if it’s too high?” he asked. Gone was the playfulness and amusement. He was being serious. “Can you?”

“What could you possibly ask from me?” I asked in a soft voice. “You are a Warrior. You have Steel under you. Whatever you want, you can get. What could I possibly have that you would want?”

“I will ask later,” he said, cutting the eye-contact. “You can either do it or not. It’s your choice. I will still serve you even if you deny it.”

I pouted. “You make it sound like you are my slave.”

He laughed it off. “Slave…”

“What are you thinking?” I asked in a panic.

“Definitely not what you are thinking,” he said.

“How do you know what I am thinking?” I asked. “Did you peep in again?”

He sighed. “Your mind… I can’t penetrate until you give permission. I did not. But I can definitely say that you don’t know what I am thinking about.”

“Whatever makes you sleep,” I said.

“I don’t sleep,” he said.

“Really?” I asked.

“I like sleeping, but I don’t need to sleep to live.”

“Wow!”

He nodded. “Do you know why I brought you here?”

I shook my head.

“This is one point where the cosmic rays enter the earth unfiltered,” he said. “A place where I could feel like I am back home.”

There was this faintest break in his voice and that was when I realised that he too had a home and that was not here. As much as he said that he was down here for about two thousand years, this had never been his home.

“How was it back there?” I asked.

“I can show you,” he said quietly.

I blinked. “You can?”

He shrugged. “Close your eyes and follow my voice.”

Space was a fascinating subject that I loved. But my love for biology won over the eagerness I had for physics. Did that mean I would give this up? Never.

Grinning to myself, I closed my eyes, ignoring Aries’ smile at my expression.

“Do you see that phosphenes?” he asked.

I nodded. “Flecks of red, fluorescent colours in the background of red. A play between the light and the blood in the eyelids.”

“Take a deep breath, Lyra,” he said. “Forget everything that’s around you. Don’t let your ears hear the melody of the afternoon. Instead, make it find the hum of the earth. Will your eyes to see the black emptiness. Your nose may pick the scent of the wildflowers and eucalyptus, but try to make it remember the scent of your home, of the one you love the most. Have your five sense of control. Once you are sure that you have controlled it, let it all loose.”

It was hard for the first few minutes, but slowly, I could feel a slight shift in me. My nose was the first sense for me to control, followed by my skin. Since I had my eyes closed, it came third. Not having anything in my mouth, I did not think about it. The last thing I was able to control was my ears.

There was a dull hum that I was able to follow. Tracing the trail of the sound, I was in a place I had seen somewhere. I just did not know where.

As much as there was darkness shrouding us, I could see the churning plasma and energy beneath me. Around me were cocoons and something live was inside them. What was I seeing? Where was I?

Something moved past me and I gasped when it was a huge turtle-like creature. It was not a turtle, I knew that much. They were Matyas, a creature native to this place.

I frowned. How did I know this information? Just how?

“No!” someone shouted.

I turned all around, to see nothing but those creatures swimming to their leisure and those cocoons pulsating with energy.

“It’s idiotic!” another screamed. “Leave him, Tucana!”

“I can’t!” the first voice said. “You don’t understand.”

“I do,” the second voice said. “I do. I want you alive, Tucana.”

“You’re asking the impossible, brother,” Tucana said. “He is my Soul-Bound. You want me to spell it out for you?”

“The higher you rise,” the second voice said. “The greater the fall.”

The pressure in my head was intensifying. But something made me hold on. To continue hearing those voices. What were they talking about? Who was this Tucana? And why was her brother not allow her to see her Soul-Bound? Alioth had once told me that Soul-Bound was everything up there. Then why did the second voice dead set on separating them?

“He may be,” the second voice said urgently. “But I hope you know why we came from Abyss. As much as they want to honour us, Cosmos and Chaos want us to be separate. This region we are in is dominated by stars. Playing her part correctly, Cosmos had made all the stars hate pulsars in this region.”

Pulsars? What was that?

“He is not like that!” Tucana protested back. “He loves me.”

“He may,” the second voice said. “But Cosmos will not accept you both. For you both, I even asked Polaris what lies ahead of you. It is very bleak.”

My head was starting to hurt. What was happening? The worst part, I knew, I was not imagining things. This was my memory. But when have I heard this conversation? A realisation froze me. How long ago did this conversation take place? And why was it my memory?

“I don’t care, Volans,” Tucana said. “My future is bleak without him.”

“You have no rights to say anything to her,” a third voice said.

“Don’t interfere in this,” Volans said. “You interact with the Warriors. You will take their side.”

“And you don’t?” the third voice asked. “Last time I saw you, you were comfortably swirling around Ophiucus.”

“Not another word-” Volans began.

“Hypocrite,” Tucana bit out. “You say me and yet you spend time with your Soul-Bound?”

“I am trying not to see her,” Volans defended. “She too knows what is at risk.”

“It did not appear like that to me,” a fourth voice came. “I saw a comfortable pair of lovers.”

For some reason, my headache worsened and whatever that froze me, stupified me. That voice… that was mine. It was like an instinct to know your voice. Why did my brain recognise this as mine? I mean, this voice was powerful, ethereal and had a touch of grace. Just by hearing, I could tell whoever had this voice was a dignified person. My voice was quite normal. While I was not the best singer around, children do sleep when I sing. I neither had a horrible voice nor the very best. So, how could my stupid brain think that this refined voice was mine?

“Volans!” Tucana shouted. “We will go to Polaris right now. He will have the answers we need.”

“Well,” the third voice drawled. “He is called the Kingmaker.”

“You guys go,” the voice that I recognised as my own said. “I will keep an eye for Cosmos.”

“Others?” Volans asked.

“We are a family, Volans,” the third voice said. “We don’t betray each other.”

“Things you do for that stupid star,” Volans said, his voice fading.

“Canis is not stupid!” Tucana protested.

The voices disappeared and there was a sigh.

“Why pair like this?” the fourth voice said. “What game are they playing?”

Then there was a heavy ringing sensation in my ears. I was gasping and I moved. It was then that I realised that I was in a water medium. I moved further, past those creatures and the cocoons.

A sudden cry reverberated. “Ursa died!”

“I don’t think we can lose another,” a voice said.

There was a sharp pain in my heart as moved past that. I had enough pain for the day. If I were to listen to that, I did not think that my soul would be able to handle it.

“-Lyra!” a voice that I was so familiar called out to me. “Open your eyes, damn it!”

I did open my eyes under the command to see him hovering over me. He had pinned my hands with his one hand and my legs with his. There was nothing but the layers of clothes we had and a thin layer of air separating us. But it was not his form that had me down, it was his eyes. They held a power that made me lay there still.

He was breathing roughly and he took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

“Wh-what happened?” I managed to get out.

“You were thrashing,” he whispered and with another hand, he moved the loose strands of hair from my face. “You were in pain and screaming.”

I gulped. “I saw things,” I whispered. “Heard things.”

He closed his eyes and touched his forehead with mine. “May I?”

I knew what he meant. I nodded. “You may.”

He revisited those memories. This time, there was no pain when I heard it all again. When he left my mind, it was he who was panting. The hold on my hands slackened and I quickly moved my hands and rubbed his along his back.

“What happened now?” I asked after his breathing came to normal.

“Canis,” he whispered. “How did you know him?”

I tried to shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t even know how I know that it was a part of my memory.”

“And that place,” he said, his voice as thin as a butterfly’s wing. “It is Origins. The place where life is said to be born. How did you see that?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

He seemed to be comfortable where he was. And as I said before, I was not complaining about this. What was wrong with me? I had never felt this way to anyone before. Even the guy I dated a year ago could not make me feel what this star was making me feel. My heart fluttered when he was looking at me or even simply stood next to me. Made my lips take a smile at the mere thought of him. What was he doing to me?

As his hand caressed my cheeks, my hands touched his neck. How I itched to run my fingers through his hair.

His eyes locked with mine and at times, it fluttered to my lips. Under that scrutinised look, I licked my lips and blinked at him.

He leant in. Inches separated us. Just as I was about to close my eyes, there was a coldness over me. He got off and he gazed at the direction from where we came from.

“What happened now?” I asked, unable to keep that annoyance out of my voice.

“Nash is searching for us,” he said.

I blinked and got up to my feet. “You can hear all that way?”

“And further,” he said.

“Wow!”

“We have to reach there fast,” he said, unbuttoning his shirt.

“Woah!” I said, taking a step back. “What are you doing?”

“After what you saw just now, I don’t think you will be able to run as fast as you can,” he said. “So… I am planning to shift into something and run there so that Nash would not report us missing.”

“Okay,” I said slowly. “You mean to carry me.”

“Yeah.”

“You can do it in this form,” I said.

“I can,” he agreed with a smile. “But since even Varian’s shift did not trigger anything in you, perhaps, mine could.”

“But you are not a shifter,” I said.

“I am and I am not,” he said. “I am the Shifter under Amaris. At least, that’s a form the people on the Earth think I have.”

When I turned around when he unbuttoned the second button, he laughed freely. There was unbridled laughter.

“Okay,” he said and there was just a tiny cracking sound and the next second something huge was nudging me.

I turned. The sight before me was magnificent. He had traded his human form for a russet-coloured wolf. I sighed and ran my finger through the fur. It was damn soft. I had seen my entire family shift and no one had this soft fur, except for Cain. Then again, his was not as soft as Aries’.

He whined and nudged me again. I laughed as lightly pulled his ears. He growled at my action and playfully snapped his jaws.

“Red fur?” I asked, running my fingers through his fur. “I thought it would be black or something. But yeah, red suits you. Fire.”

He rolled his eyes as if to say get on. Shaking my head, I got on him, thinking it would be just like how Rhaze or Cain carried me on their back when they shifted. How wrong was I!

Aries ran faster than anyone I had ever seen. The trees and the bushes were just a green blur and that one hour walk was covered in a matter of a few seconds. Not even a minute was over. When he stopped and trotted around, I nearly fell off him. I clutched the ground and pressed my head to the earth.

“I will admit that was fast for you,” Aries said.

When I looked up, he was buttoning his last button.

“Just fast?” I panted.

“You act as if you are the one who ran,” he said. “When it should be the other way round.”

Before I could open my mouth to talk, footsteps came closer and a familiar scent hit us.

“Finally, Varian and Aislynn came down,” Nash panted. “Kaina and Rhaze cooked barbeque together and it smells amazing. Wanna come?”

Aries gave him a dry smile. “Who wants to miss barbeque?”

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