Organised Threats

An hour later, battle ready vampires and witches gathered out the front of the isolated farm. A six-foot high wrought iron fence ran across the front of the property, the bars topped with an arrow-head spike. The buildings were nestled half a mile behind the dense congregation of trees, and a well-travelled dirt track ran right through the middle of the trees.

Apollonia stood at the gate and called out, “Hey, come out fuckers, we need to speak to the boss!”

Livinia gazed at her and asked quietly, “Who are you talking to?”

“There’s guards here.”

“I can’t see anyone.”

“They’re here,” Apollonia replied, then she called out, “Come out fuckers, we need to speak to your boss!”

The leaves of a tree rustled, then a thud, then another thud, and as more thuds came, Livinia saw six men holding automatic rifles walk up to the gate. A powerfully built man stood in front of the others and asked snappily, “What do you want?”

“Fuck me, I already said that I want to speak to your boss!”

“You’re that fucking witch!” the man snorted.

“Yeah, and I’m the fucking witch who wants to see your Boss.”

“Why?”

“Listen boy, we come in peace, we just need some information, and we believe that your Boss can help us.”

The man gazed at the group, then said, “You come in peace wearing bullet-proof vests?”

“No harm being cautious.” Apollonia replied flippantly.

“Bullet-proof vests on,” the man began, “So I’d be guessing that you may have weapons in the vehicles.”

Apollonia frowned, then said, “Tell your Boss that we want to speak to him, or else you’re gunna find out.”

The man glanced behind him and said mockingly, “Tell the Boss that the wicked witch of the west wants to see him and …” he paused, staring at Livinia, then he asked, “Who’s she?”

“She just happens to be the wicked vampire of the east, Livinia Crenwinkle, leader of the Mephistopheles Clan.”

The man turned to his comrade and said hesitantly, “Tell him the witch and a vampire want to see him.”

The messenger jumped on a dirt bike, then tore off down the track. The man turned his focus back to Apollonia as he smirked, “Witches and vampires being all lovey-dovey is so cute.”

“Yeah, we just happen to have a common enemy,” Apollonia sneered, “We both hate zombies.”

“Pissy little witches with your pissy little spells.” the man snorted.

“Hey fucker, the pissy little witch is standing next to a vampire who just happens to have a not-so-pissy pair of fangs.”

Livinia concentrated, and as the man glanced at her, she smiled for him.

Apollonia gazed at the fangs, then turned back to the man as she said, “Those babies would look good sinking into your throat.”

The man did a quick head count; eight creatures standing behind the witch, all of them dressed in red, and at least a dozen creatures standing behind the vampire, all of them in black. His clan operated on a few basic survival principles, and the most dominant and respected principle was, Don’t agitate vampires … so he glanced at the vampire leader and said, “We ain’t got no quarrel with you.”

“We come in peace, I just need to speak to Devil.” Livinia replied.

A jeep roared up to the gate, and the driver pulled the canvas roof of the jeep back, shoved the door open, then said abruptly, “Get in.”

Two men opened the gates, and Apollonia and Livinia walked through and climbed in the back, then the jeep sped off. They roared down the dirt track, the dense trees on either side seeming like a guard of honour, and soon the buildings came into view. The closest building was a timber ranch with a large barn on its western side. The driver must have spread the word, because a dozen men stood in front of the barn, all of them holding rifles, spearguns or crossbows.

Apollonia looked at the collection of weapons, then she whispered to Livinia, “The rifle’s probably meant for me, but I’m thinking that the spearguns and crossbows are all gunna be aimed at you.”

“Hmmm, it’s not the most pleasant welcome I’ve ever experienced.” Livinia said drolly.

“I told ya before, these fuckers are shit scared of your kind.”

None of the men at the gate had ever seen a vampire before, and they were unnerved by being this close to the creatures, although their apprehension was diluted by a tingling fascination. A dozen vampires standing in front of them, three middle-aged men in their number, the rest of them female, and most of the females were young and attractive. With the vampires standing silently, they didn’t look so intimidating, didn’t look like killing machines, all the same, respect the survival principles, Don’t agitate vampires … Vampires were at the top of the supernatural food chain, almost like the vampires were the lions and the resurrected’s were the gazelle’s. The guards knew that if the vampires attacked them, they’d be ripped to pieces. This was a new experience though, standing twenty yards away from the killing machines, and one guard, pricked by the dangerous excitement, muttered, “A few of the vamps are pretty damn tidy.”

Silence, the vampires staring at them.

Emboldened by his friend’s statement, another guard said, “Most of the vamps is pretty young girls.”

Silence, the vampires staring at them, until a voice mumbled, “Excuse me …”

The guards swung their gazes to the witches as Charlene stepped forward and said, “There’s a few pretty young girls over here as well.”

Aleisha glared at her, then she shook her head as she mumbled, “Typical, trying to steal the spotlight.”

“Yes ma’am,” a guard said, “You ladies look fine and dandy.”

Wishing to voice his opinion, another guard said, “The blonde vamp is the hottest.”

Charlene had never seen a Laveau Voodoo before, and she noted that the guards were all good-looking young men, all the same, she huffed, “Tasteless zombie.”

A guard looked at Aleisha and asked, “What’s you name Blondie?”

Realising that the question was directed at Aleisha, Elizabeth stepped forward and said brightly, “Elizabeth.”

“Not you, the good-looking one.”

The man was still gawking at Aleisha, so Vicky stepped forward and said, “My name is Vicky.”

Another guard shook his head and pointed at Aleisha as he said, “Not you, we’re talking about the one with the tight jumpsuit.”

Aware that five men were staring at her groin, Aleisha hunched down and pulled the thighs of the suit down to lessen the tightness, then she said, “My name is Aleisha.”

“Awww, don’t do that, we was enjoying looking!”

“Yes, I understand that,” Aleisha began, “And I’m sure that I’ll be the main focus of your dreams over the next few weeks.”

“Fucking up herself.” one man sniggered.

“Yes, your sniggering comment is true.” Aleisha stated.

Feeling more at ease, another guard said, “We heard that all vamps are sluts, so while we’re waiting, take ya tight jumpsuit off and we’ll give you a taste of Voodoo cock.”

The men all laughed, and Aleisha held her head high, then replied, “Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you if I ever get so desperate that I crave a scruffy Hillbilly.”

The Pistols all laughed, and Piper bared her fangs then said, “Hey, you can slip the Voodoo cock into these lips JimBoy!”

A man snorted, “Hey, his name ain’t JimBoy, me is JimBoy!”

“Fuck me.” Isabelle chuckled.

“Vampires are not sluts!” Daisy declared, then she added, “Although I, Daisy of the Pearl River Witches was fortunate enough to engage in sexual activity with the Beautiful Vampire.”

The men looked at each other in surprise, and Charlene muttered, “Don’t call her beautiful in my presence.”

Elsie stepped forward and said, “I, Elsie of the PRW also made love to Vampire Aleisha!”

Not wanting to upset Charlene, although craving her moment in the spotlight, Davina said quietly, “So did I.”

“Witches and vamps rumbling? Well blow me down!” a guard laughed.

“Rumbling half of the witches means that the blond vamp with the tight pants must be a slut!” a guard exclaimed.

“The vamps have got enhanced senses, so they’re all sluts.” Debbie advised.

Vicky said brightly, “Yes, we are!” Then she faced up to Aleisha and began a kiss, running her hands over her buttocks. The guards stared at them as the kiss pushed into its second minute, and Vicky gushed, “Hooo, I can’t wait to make love to you!” Aleisha understood what Vicky was doing, and being an expert in arousing emotions, she pressed in closer and cooed, “Yes fuck me, fuck me hard and relentlessly.”

The men were staring in fascination, so Isabelle and Sophia cuddled into a kiss, and Elizabeth looked at the men and said sweetly, “Yes, we all regard ourselves as sluts, so please excuse me.” She faced Piper and sought her lips. Elsie and Daisy skipped over to join Aleisha and Vicky, and Daisy turned to the men and said politely, “Witches become quite slutty when we kiss vampires, so please excuse us.”

A man led them around a series of timber ranches, then opened the door of the last ranch on the property, and pointed to the stairs. “Up there.”

Together, Livinia and Apollonia climbed up the stairs, and they saw a man with a rifle standing outside a door. “I guess we go in there.” Apollonia stated.

“Your powers of assumption never cease to amaze me.” Livinia joked.

They stepped inside to see a large, naked man gazing out a rear window, a young girl sitting in a chair to his right.

Apollonia knew that the Chief Zombie was a flagrant exhibitionist, and she said ungraciously, “Hey Devil, you got company.”

Devil swung around, his penis momentarily swinging with the movement, then he gazed at them and said brightly, “My, my looking at you two standing side-by-side, the rumour of an alliance seems to be based on fact.”

Livinia knew that they didn’t have time for petty matters, although she couldn’t help herself as she said, “If I could make a request …”

“Speak Vampire Leader.”

“I would be most appreciative if you dressed.”

“Ohhh, the legendary vampire is embarrassed?” Devil asked mockingly.

“If you were nice to look at, it wouldn’t be so bad,” Apollonia began, “But you ain’t!”

“If I offend you ladies, I mean if I offend you while you’re on MY property, please, feel free to leave.” Devil said as he walked to his chair behind the desk and sat down.

Livinia, happy that he was seated, stepped forward and said, “We’re looking for a member of my clan, and I was hoping that you may be able to help us locate her.”

“Who?”

“Taylee Crezenski.”

Devil and Chester exchanged a glance, which Livinia noted.

“Well Vampire Leader, one thing I can tell you is that she’s not here.”

Apollonia gazed at the girl and asked, “You Cutie, are you a zombie?”

Overawed by being in the presence of the Queen of the Witches and a Vampire Leader, Chester said meekly, “I refer to myself as a Resurrected Being.”

“Well listen Cutie, feel free to wander up to my neck of the woods whenever you like, and I’ll make you feel right at home.”

Livinia glared at her, and Apollonia said, “Whoops, sorry, please continue.”

Livinia faced him and said, “Devil, we come here in peace with the sole intention of locating our clan member.”

“What has that got to do with me?”

“We believe that you may have resurrected a woman who our clan member killed, and we want the address of the woman.”

Chester bowed her face, already uncomfortable about this meeting, although Devil leant back in his chair as he said, “I have resurrected many over my long journey, and one of the principles I adhere to is respecting the client’s confidentiality.”

“Yes, I understand that, but my clan member is in danger, so I’m asking for your assistance.”

“Let me tell you something Vampire Leader, I run a business here, and like a Top-of-the range prostitute, or like a lawyer who represents criminal’s, my client’s confidentiality must be respected.”

“Again, I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t want intimate details about your client, I simply want his address so that I can rescue one of mine.”

“So let me get this straight; you want me to ignore the sacred bond of confidentiality and give you the address of one of my clients?”

“Yes, that is the general idea.”

Devil lit the bong, sucked back, then blew out smoothly. Gazing at her, he asked, “And if I refuse?”

Livinia mulled over her answer, then said quietly, “I wouldn’t do that if I was you.”

“Why not?”

Livinia hadn’t come here with the intention of threatening the zombies, yet with time ticking away, she was in no mood to be fucked around. After pursing her lips, she said grittily, “I would suggest that having a clan of vampires coming for you means that your future wouldn’t be bright.”

Devil leant forward and rested his elbows on the desk, then he said dismissively, “Vampire, you don’t get to barge in here and start throwing threats around.”

Livinia moved forward to stand right by his desk, then she said, “The threat is real; tell me where the woman lives, or else we will attack you on this very night.”

“I wouldn’t mess with her, Devil-boy!” Apollonia warned.

“I am under no obligation to tell you anything. If one of yours is missing, that seems like it’s your problem.”

“Hmmm,” Apollonia mused, “If you don’t tell her what she wants to know, we could become your problem.”

“We?”

“Yeah, Witches and Vampires both coming down on you, and I’m thinking that would be enough to scare the be-jesus outta anyone, even stupid fucking zombies.”

Devil flinched, then said tepidly, “I have no quarrel with you Queen, nor you Vampire Leader, and I would like it to stay that way.”

“Yeah, well maybe give her the address, or else your potential quarrels are going to be multiplied by the minute.” Apollonia threatened.

“I have very few principles, although a principle I will always remain faithful to is the confidentiality of my clients.”

“The more time you fuck around, the more the quarrels are multiplying, Dickhead.”

“Queen of the Witches, the delicate balance of supernatural creatures in this area will be maintained if we all stay out of everybody else’s business.”

“Sometimes shit happens, and we gotta bend the rules a little,” Apollonia began, “And if you haven’t already put the shit together, this is one of those times.”

Chester hurried over to the computer and tapped in, then she stared at the screen as it brought up the front gate. The scene at the front gate seemed confusing, five guards looking on as various couples outside the gate seemed to be kissing, all of them female; although that wasn’t what made Chester suck her bottom lip. Behind them, figures in black stood, all of them bearing weapons, and next to them, figures in red, all of them armed. Without turning to face him, she muttered, “Boss …”

“What?”

Chester stared at the screen, maybe two dozen of them standing outside the gate, all weaponed up, and except for the kissing couples, all of them looking like they were ready to engage. Chester reflected that she liked what she was doing, living, and even though she was undead, she wanted to keep living. “Maybe Boss, maybe it’s time to begin negotiations.”

“Negotiations?”

“Like our man told us, they’re out there.”

“How many?”

“Maybe two dozen.”

Devil sunk back into his chair, brooding. At his command, he could summon his forty odd members to gather their weapons and try and blow them away, and with their firepower, they could make a mess of the vampires and witches, although unfortunately, maybe not kill them. Vampires were lightning fast and vicious, and Apollonia and her charges wouldn’t come here throwing threats around if they weren’t fully prepared for a battle. And as well, most disconcerting of all, if he called on his troops to attack, the vampire standing only two yards in front of him would rip him to pieces before he even finished his command.

Chester knew that her Boss was running things through his mind, and she hoped to steer him down a path that would mean she wasn’t spending her last night on the planet. She turned to look at him and said quietly, “She rang me last night.”

“Who?”

“Iveta, Iveta Stanley.”

“What about?”

“Ummm, a history lesson I guess, she wanted to know what she was like as a human being.”

“Interesting, and you told her?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Did you tell her about the, ummm … disclosures from our private detective?”

“No, I was thinking that was maybe just for you and me to know.”

Devil nodded, then said, “That doesn’t really help our dilemma.”

“Yeah sure, but Boss I have a question to ask you.”

“Go ahead.”

Chester gazed at the intimidating women, then she faced her Master as she asked, “Do we side with those who can kill us, or those who can’t?”

Devil lowered his gaze and thought about his options, although there weren’t really options available to him, there was only a single option. Trapped between Hell and Highwater, he knew that he would succumb, although he also knew that from every decision, different opportunities sprouted. Without raising his gaze, he said sullenly, “Alright, but this is damaging to my reputation, so I will need a few sizable incentives.”

“Make your demands.” Livinia said crisply.

“A million dollars, a cache of drugs, and of course, some blood.”

“Just to make it clear, he means vampire blood.” Chester added timidly.

“Yes, I will provide those things.”

Without looking at Livinia, Devil said, “Her name is Iveta Stanley, wife of Clinton Stanley, who funnily enough, is a vampire hunter with a growing reputation.”

“His address?”

Devil nodded at Chester and said, “Give the vampire the address.”

Chester went to a filing cabinet, pulled out a card, then leant over the desk as she wrote the address down on a slip of paper. She handed the paper to Livinia, and Livinia nodded then prepared to hurry away, although Devil’s voice stopped her.

“When should I expect to receive my promised gifts?”

Livinia faced him and said, “If your information is correct, I will deliver without delay.”

“Vampire Leader …”

“Make it quick.” Livinia urged.

“What about if your clan member is, urrr, no longer with us?”

“I will still honour my word.”

Livinia and Apollonia strode out, and Apollonia smiled at Chester as she said, “I hope I see you again Cutie.”

After they’d left, Devil pondered, then said, “If Crezenski is missing, it appears that our Mr Stanley ignored our advice.”

“Yeah,” Chester mumbled, “So R.I.P. Iveta Stanley.”

Devil leant back in his chair, mulled over it, then said, “Even after all this time, what the private detective told us is still haunting me, so maybe Iveta Stanley no longer being on the planet is a good thing.”

“Yeah, well soon she’s just gunna be a distant memory, but Boss …”

“What?”

“That’s the first time that I ever seen the Boss of the vamps, and it’s the first time I ever seen the Queen of the Witches, and fuck me, my hands are shaking.”

“Yes, they’re intimidating.”

“Yeah, well I’m glad that ya backed down, because the vamp’s eyes were blazing.”

“Life-mate, I try and stay true to my principles, although when a vampire threatens us, survival becomes the most important principle.”

Chester nodded, then she looked at the computer; figures in black, figures in red, vampires and witches outside the gate of her home. Chester saw Livinia and Apollonia being dropped back at the gate, and the figures in black and red began scampering to the cars, and Chester was relieved that they would be leaving, although she knew where they would be heading. Chester still thought about Iveta Stanley occasionally, because the woman had left a lasting impression on her, and she was pleasantly surprised when Iveta had rung the previous night. After the general catch-up chat had been dealt with, Iveta asked about her history as a human being, and Chester told her everything that she knew. Iveta seemed upset by the recollections, so Chester had asked, You okay? Iveta had muttered, I am troubled, and I am having strange dreams and my future is not clear … Chester bowed her head and sighed, because she knew that Iveta’s future was now very clear; Sorry Iveta, but I think your future’s gunna stretch out to about another three hours …

Back at the vehicles, Livinia faced Apollonia. “Thank-you Queen, sincere thanks for your assistance.”

“Do you want us to come with you?”

“No, thank-you anyway, we can handle this from here.”

The vampires piled into the cars, and before jumping in, Aleisha embraced Apollonia. “My respect and admiration for you continues on its upward spiral.”

“Just let me know what happens, okay?”

“I shall.”

The vehicles sped off.

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